Hermione sighed. She was expecting Jenny and Tara to react like this—I mean, how would you react if someone were to just tell you that they're a character out of a book? I don't think you'd nod and say, "Ah! I thought so!" You'd probably look at them like, "What the fuck?" or back away slowly. Or grab a straightjacket and a cattle prod. Or, you'd have Jenny's reaction, which was to laugh and say, "Okay, very funny, now be serious."

"I am being serious!" Luna insisted. "Enoby showed up at Hogwarts, and we found out that she's part of a species called 'Mary Sues'—"

"SHE IS NOT A MARY SUE!" Tara screamed, in the style of her many, many author's notes in the fanfiction.

"—and we found this spell to send ourselves to this universe, so we could ask you to erase her."

"So which character exactly is it that you're claiming to be?" asked Jenny, sounding interested and maybe, maybe, slightly convinced.

"Luna Lovegood."

Jenny nodded and said, "That makes sense. You look like her description in her books, except for the clothes, but I guess Hogwarts school uniforms wouldn't blend it that well in Clearwater."

"Or New York City," Ron added, "which is where the spell dumped us at first."

"Smack in the middle of Times Square," Harry recalled, remembering the rather bad hit he'd taken to the head.

"And you," said Jenny, smirking at Harry, "you, I can guess who you are. Mr. Potter. Our… new… celebrity." She waited for them to laugh, and then remembered that if they were from the books, they wouldn't get the Alan Rickman joke. So she said, "So, let me guess. Ginevra and Ronald Weasley, I presume?" The redheads nodded.

Tara, who had latched onto Draco's arm, said, "Eeee! I'm in the presence of Draco Malfoy!"

"Which leaves Miss Hermione Jean Granger," said Jenny, nodding at her, "but just because you look like the characters from Harry Potter doesn't mean that you are them."

"How can we prove it to you?" asked Ginny.

"Do you have your wands with you?"

"Yes."

"There's no one but us around, and Tara and I won't tell, right Tara?"

"Hmm?" she said, removing her lips from Draco's neck, much to his great relief. "Oh, yeah, sure, whatever."

"Please get her away from me…" Draco begged. Everyone ignored him.

"So?" said Harry.

"So do some magic. Conjure up a Patronus or something."

Realizing that this would be the only way to convince them that they were for real, Hermione pulled out her wand and said, "Expecto patronum."

A silvery white sheen shot out of the end of the wand and took the shape of an otter, which ran around the room on thin air for a bit, then disappeared. Hermione looked smug as she said, "Believe me now?"

Jenny nodded, eyebrows raised. "I must admit that I do. Not bad, Granger."

Hermione grinned at her. "Thanks." Sarcastic and trolling as she was, she had to admit that Jenny as rather likable if you ignored that she helped create My Immortal.

"So, our character showed up at Hogwarts?" she said, sounding interested. "How'd that happen?"

"We're not really sure," said Harry. "One day everything was normal and the next day everything… wasn't."

"She just showed up out of freakin' nowhere," Ron agreed.

"No one was really sure where she came from," Hermione continued, "but according to a book I read, every time a Mary Sue dies, a new one is born in its place."

"OMG, SHUT THE FUCK UP, HATER!" Tara screamed, her face turning red. Everyone more or less ignored her, but Draco sloooooowly scooted away.

"So I suppose that a Sue somewhere else in our universe must've been destroyed, causing Elony to materialize in our school," Hermione finished.

Ginny, as usual, took her the blunt (read: rude) approach.

"Now get her out."

"No! Oh, my God, no!" Tara snapped, not raping the CapsLock button for once in her life. "I can't erase Ebony! Not now! Not after all the work I've done, trying so hard to make her a good character—she needs to be preserved. She is perfect."

"That's half of the problem right there," Ginny commented to the others, gesturing at the author gone mad… madder. Whatever.

"Welcome to my life," Jenny said, rolling her eyes. "But Tara's right. We can't erase Ebony—it would cost us our fame."

"More like infamy," Draco muttered.

"They don't realize—every bad review we get, every flame, every time someone edits the TV Tropes page for the story, every time they send a link to their friends so they can see how bad it is…" Jenny grinned evilly. "We're only getting stronger and stronger by the day."

"Please," Hermione begged. "Ebony's making life a living Hell for everyone!"

"That's your problem, not ours," she said with a shrug.

"Do you even have a conscience!"

Tara added, "Besides, I'm going to update the fanfiction later tonight."

"Oh… Oh no," Luna moaned. "Tara, you can't!"

"You have no idea what we can and can't do," Tara said in a surprisingly controlled voice. "My amazing fanfiction has granted me powers beyond your wildest imagination."

Now, the prospect of a bad fanfic granting an idiot like this amazing powers is quite fascinating, but one has to wonder what damage could be done if My Immortal were to be—

Hey. Hey, who are you? Get out of my office! Wait… is that a baseball bat?

*clonk*

LIKE, OMG, WASN'T THAT NARRATOR SOOOOOO ANNOYING? WELL, NOT TO FEAR, ! THIS FANFICTION IS NOW NARRATED BY, LIVE AND IN PERSON, TARA GILESBE!

What the-? Hey, get out of my spinny-narrator-chair!

FACE IT, KID. YOU'RE NOT THE NARRATOR ANYMORE.

…Not to fear faithful readers. This… this will be fixed.

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS. UPDATING MY IMMORTAL.

…ohdearlordsomeonehelpme…

A/N: Well, that just came the hell out of nowhere, didn't it? I have no idea why, but the idea of Tara taking over just popped into my head and I thought it might be funny, sooo… here we are.

~ Cookie VanDeKamp ~