Title: Faith

Disclaimer: BioWare owns all; I just play in their pond.

Related Twice Bitten Chapter: Ten – Progress and Pretense

POV: Leliana

Characters: Leliana, Jowan

Author's Notes: Having seen Jowan's strong reaction to Alistair's use of his Templar training, Leliana shares with him her own opinions on the events to set his mind at ease. This came out of absolutely nowhere – Leliana started talking and ran away.

Reviews are always welcome!

"Oh, this is lovely! You can just feel autumn floating in from the sea beyond the docks." Leliana led Jowan on a meandering stroll through the district, not particularly caring where they ended up. "I know you haven't seen much of the seasons so close, but I hope you come to agree. The last breath of warmth from a retreating summer before the chill truly begins to settle is its own kind of magic, isn't it?"

Jowan had no idea what was expected of him, trudging along in her wake and trying not to disturb anyone they passed. This certainly didn't seem like a very… safe place to be, but the bard didn't appear concerned in the least. "I… suppose so." His voice pitched up at the end, almost questioning.

"Oh, you must forgive my distraction. There is always something beautiful to be found in the world, if you just know where to look." Leliana turned her head to look at the mage. "I wanted to talk with you about what happened this morning, with the man in Genitivi's house. You didn't look at all at home with what Alistair had to do to keep us protected."

Unbidden, Jowan's mind returned to the Circle, and the whispers of what the Templars would do to those who wouldn't – or couldn't – follow the rules. He thought of Tranquility, a fate he had nearly had to endure. Must have, because Lily wouldn't have lied to him. Not about that. "It just… That's what all the Templars say. Protection."

"I can only imagine what you must be thinking of. I know a little, now. Did you know I talked at some length with Wynne yesterday? Of course you didn't, you weren't there in our room."

"With Wynne? She was always the one pushing everyone to accept life in the Circle."

Leliana inclined her head to acknowledge this as fact. "She has seen many things herself. Many mages, she has said, can go their entire lives without being troubled directly by those posted in the Tower. She may not thank me for saying so to you, but I think she regrets that she knows no other way."

Jowan was silent for a time, keeping pace with the bard as she wove through crowds and crates. "But the ones they do trouble…"

"Yes. Wynne has told me some of the things that take place there in the Maker's name. I didn't want to believe it at first, but you can hardly doubt sincerity from her of all people. All this came from my questions to her about faith. I had come to question mine, you see, in thinking of my past and the task that is before us still, the confrontation we will have with Marjolaine. Though she has seen many things, Wynne's faith has endured."

Jowan couldn't grasp the idea. "If you know what they do to mages, if she knows what they do to us, how can you claim to believe any of it? Why would the Maker create us this way if all we're meant for is to be punished?"

"I won't pretend to know everything, Jowan. I was not there when Aedan went to seek help for Connor, and I have never been at any other time to any other Circle. But Wynne has also told me of Templars who do not treat mages so, and I believe some of them may feel the same as the mages about their given duty. But those who do treat others so poorly… I do not believe their faith is pure, Jowan. Not when it is manifested by inflicting upon others a scripture that demands suffering. Not when all they can read in their doctrine is pain."

Leliana guided the mage to a stop at the end of a pier, pausing to enjoy the crisp autumn wind rising from the waves below, grateful that he seemed to be giving sincere thought to her words.

Eventually, Jowan settled on speaking his mind. "But Alistair is still a Templar, and with all that I've seen... It's just like at the Circle, having someone always nearby who can leave me completely helpless."

"We all have our pasts, Jowan. You've certainly seen that today. You saw what Zevran and I did with that man. Do you hold any fear that we will one day restrain you and whisper threats in your ears?"

"Well… no." Jowan realized with a start that this was true. He hadn't been at all afraid of what the bard and the assassin had done.

"And so you realize that whatever our beginnings that gave us such skills, we can exercise our good judgment as to when to use them. I believe that you can do the same. There is blood magic in your own past, and yet you denounced it when you saw its true effects on those around you. I believe the same of Alistair. We all have our pasts," the bard repeated. "What do you suppose is in his?"

Seeking his contemplation more than his response, Leliana placed a hand at Jowan's elbow and guided him gently to resume his steps. She was pleased when he did not speak again during the walk back to the Pearl; it gave her faith that he would see the truth.