Chapter 11

"Well should we head back up to the common room and play a game of exploding snaps or something?" Harry suggested as he stood up.

Ginny smiled at him as she climbed over the bench. "I'd love a game, as long as you don't just let me win like you did the last time." She replied as she slapped Harry's arm.

"For the fifteenth time, I didn't let you win." Harry defended. Ginny laughed. Harry glared at her then looked over at Hermione and Ron. "How about you two?"

Ron shrugged as he stood up. "I could go for a game. Got nothing better to do." He answered. He looked down at Hermione. "What about you? It's always more fun with four people." He smiled at her and gave a wink.

Hermione smiled. "Alright. I'll play a few games." She said standing up, and throwing a leg over the bench.

"Sounds like a plan." Harry said with a smile. He was glad dinner had gone much better then lunch. It had been a little awkward still, but lately anything between Hermione and Ron was not just a little awkward.

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Back in the common room, the quartet played game after game while they talked and laughed. It was the first time in a long time, where they had had fun together. It was the first time in a long time where Ron had stopped thinking about the war. And Hermione noticed. Seeing him smiling, laughing and joking with Harry gave her hope.

"Maybe he's finally getting over it." She thought with a hopeful smile. This thought made her enjoy herself even more, for she had never been a big fan of exploding snaps.

Finally, around 10:30, Ginny stood up after they had just finished their sixth game of exploding snaps.

"Well I think I'm about snapped out. I'm gonna go take a shower and then head for bed." She announced heading for the staircases. She had grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him with her.

Harry stopped her. "Gin, I was kinda hoping to get in a game of chess with Ron, if he's up to it." He said glancing over at his friend who sat in one of the red arm chairs.

"I'd love one mate." Ron replied with a smile as he jumped up. He walked over to one of the study tables and retrieved their chess set. He placed it on the coffee table between him and the chair Harry had just vacated and began to arrange his pieces.

Ginny gave Harry a little pout, but then smiled. "Alright. But don't be too long. I'll be waiting for you." She said giving Harry a peck on the cheek. She then bounded off up the girls' stairs to retrieve her pajamas and shower stuff.

When Ginny was gone, Harry turned to Ron. When he saw Ron was ready and waiting, her chuckled. "A little anxious are we?"

"Well I could always have asked Hermione to play with me if you had gotten your mind changed." Ron replied, with a grin. Hermione looked up from the book she had picked up two games of exploding snaps ago. "My sister sometimes has a way of changing your mind, mate."

"That may be true but what makes you think I would have consented to play Ronald?" Hermione said looking at him with a straight face.

Ron frowned. "You mean you like that book more then you like me?" he said with his lip hanging down in a pout.

"But what if I was so enthralled with this book that I couldn't put it down, not even for you?"

At that Ron laughed. She was reading the book about the goblin rebellions of the late 1600s that he had been reading just the other night. "I've read that book. Staring at the ceiling is more interesting then that." Hermione gave him a glare then smiled.

"You're right. It is pretty bad. Even for me," she said closing the book and tossing it next to her on the couch.

"Well you are welcome to watch our match if you'd like." Ron offered, smiling.

"I think I just might." Hermione replied with a grin. "Maybe I'll give Harry some luck and he'll beat you."

"Thanks for the confidence Hermione." Harry interjected gloomily, as set his last piece on the chessboard.

"Not a chance of winning. Sorry Harry." Ron replied, making his first move. "I feel lucky tonight."

Harry laughed and made his first move.

At a quarter past eleven Ron moved his knight and took Harry's king. "Checkmate, mate."

Harry stifled a yawn. "It was a good game, mate, but now I think I better head for bed. Ginny is probably waiting." Harry said, standing up and stretching. "You're more then welcome to use my set if you want to play, Hermione."

Hermione smiled. "Thank you Harry." She stood up and moved to take his spot. She collected all the pieces and began to set them up. "Get ready to lose Weasley."

Harry smiled. "Good luck Hermione." He wished. "And G'night you two."

"Goodnight Harry." Hermione and Ron yelled in unison as they began their game.

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After a few moves, Ron remembered the piece of parchment he had found in the library.

"Hermione?"

"Mmmm?"

"What was your nightmare about last night?" he asked cautiously. Hermione immediately looked up.

"Why do you ask?" She replied nonchalantly, making her move.

Ron pulled the piece of parchment out of his pocket. "I found this in the library when I went to find you for dinner." He muttered. Suddenly he had gone shy. He realized now that he shouldn't have brought it up. Dreams were personal things, and he knew he wouldn't be comfortable sharing his nightmares with someone else. And she hadn't wanted to talk about it last night, what made him think she would want to talk about it today. But he was intrigued to find out what had scared her.

Hermione's eyes went wide when she saw her handwritten dream account. She bit her lip. "I don't want to talk about it." She said quickly and looked away from him. Ron continued to stare at her, his eyes boring down on her. She continued to look away until finally Ron spoke again.

"Hermione, I've already read it. Talk to me."

She slowly looked up at him. Part of her wanted to be mad at him for intruding on her personal business but part of her was glad that he had. Suddenly tears sprang to her eyes. When Ron noticed he reached across the table, took up her hand, and gave it a squeeze.

"'Mione it's okay," he purred, trying to comfort her.

"It was a horrible nightmare. They get worse and worse it seems. And they're all like that. You, Harry and Ginny all die or disappear and I'm left alone. In most of them I have to watch one or all of you die. They relive the visions I had during the war every time we were in battle and got separated. I didn't know if I'd see you any of you again once you left my sight. I was afraid. Afraid for Harry because it was prophesized that he might die. He's like a brother to me. He's family. And Ginny has always felt like the sister I never had, spending all that time at the Burrow. We became so close. And you Ron, you…I…" Hermione stuttered. She glanced down at the chess board. She couldn't go on. She wasn't ready yet. She wasn't prepared.

Ron stood up and walked around the table to her. He lifted her hand and helped her from the chair. She fell welcomingly into his arms and snuggled close to him. He kissed her lightly on the top of the head.

"It's okay Hermione," he whispered, soothingly. He knew what she meant. He knew she loved him. That wasn't really the biggest part of their problem. He was. He hadn't let himself return to normal. He hadn't stopped living in survival mode. He blamed the nightmares but deep down he believed it wasn't just them. He knew he was afraid. It was stupid, but he was. He was afraid to put his heart out on the line. In all the years he had loved the brushy brown haired girl, there had always been something said, an action taken or a situation that seemed to tell him that he didn't have a chance, that he wasn't worth her, that if would never work. Over time he had elevated her to a goddess like state and pushed himself the status of an ant. How was an ant ever going to be worthy of a goddess?

They stood together for a few minutes, Hermione enjoying the touch and closeness she had been longing for since the end of the war. Finally Ron stepped back and looked down at her.

"I'm sorry Hermione. I shouldn't have invaded your privacy. I just saw it and couldn't help it. When I read it, I realized your dreams were like mine. Just like in yours, you, Harry, and Ginny all die while I watch. Occasionally I die leaving you guys behind. But either way, I'm not with you guys and that haunts me. You guys are my life, my family." He explained, looking down into her face.

Hermione nodded. "You're my family too. I've never had siblings but I've always wanted one. I never had anyone to play with as a kid. I think that is why I read so much. It's the only thing I could do that didn't take more then one person." She explained. Ron nodded.

"Perhaps that's why I don't read much. I was never lacking a playmate. There was always someone to follow, bother, or play with in my house." Ron replied with a chuckle. Hermione smiled at him.

"But you read now."

Ron blushed. "Yeah well… you've got to do something when you can't sleep. I tried playing chess with myself but there just wasn't a challenge. I always won."

Hermione laughed as she smacked his arm lightly. Ron smiled in return as he tried to dodge her.

"What do you say we find a book and read a little? I think I've had enough chess for the night, but I'm not quite ready to head to bed." Hermione suggested after she had finished laughing.

"You mean you don't want to go to sleep." Ron stated, seriously.

Hermione waved it off. "Yeah, well, maybe that or maybe I'm not actually tired. I'll even let you pick the book." She teased. "Perhaps one with pictures."

Ron glared at her and stuck out his tongue. "For that I'm gonna pick a really difficult one and then you'll have to explain everything to me because I'll ask lots of questions." He replied in a childish voice as he made his way over to the bookshelf.

Hermione giggled as she walked over to the burgundy red couch and flopped down. Ron joined her after a minute or two carrying a dog-eared brown leather bound book. He sat down next to her and threw a gold blanket over them, then opened the book.

"Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry was founded over a thousand years ago by the four great wizards of the age. The founders created the school …" he began. Hermione smacked him on the arm.

"I thought you said you were going to pick a hard one."

"I lied. I picked a fun one. Besides I know you love this one. God knows it's been read enough times." He said with a chuckle in his voice.

She lightly hit his arm. "Not all the reading was done by me, Weasley."

Ron dropped the book in his lap and raised his hands in the air. "Alright, you caught me. I've read the book. I admit even more then once," he confessed. Hermione looked over at him.

"Wow Weasley, you've read a whole book more then once. You never used to even crack open a school book to do a homework assignment unless you absolutely had to." Hermione continued to tease him.

Ron frowned. "Well a lot of things changed because of that stupid bloody war." He mumbled, hurt by her teasing.

Hermione noticed Ron didn't respond with a joking comment. She knew she had touched a nerve. She hadn't meant to make fun of him. She thought they had both been joking. "I was only kidding Ron."

Ron just shook his head and picked up the book. "Can we just get back to reading, or would you like to read, afraid I might not pronounce a word right?" he asked sarcastically.

Hermione turned on the couch to look at him. Ron glared directly at her. "Ron I didn't mean to insinuate that you're stupid. Because you're not. I know you're not. You may not be good at some of the school subjects but you are smart. You have a great sense of logic and planning. You think quick on your feet. Not to mention you have loads of courage." She expressed.

"But courage doesn't make someone smart, Hermione." Ron interrupted.

"It does too. If you didn't have courage how would you have come up with all those brilliant plans during the war? If you didn't have courage, you wouldn't have even thought of the possibilities that got us out of so many sticky situations. So what if you don't know all of the ingredients to a Wolfsbane potion. That is useless information that you can find elsewhere if you need it." Hermione reached out and touched his arm. "You are smart Ron. You were right about the stairs."

Ron looked at her puzzled. "What stairs?"

"The girls' staircase turning into a slide. You said that you thought because you believed I was in trouble and wanted to help me that you were able to climb the stairs. You were right." She said looking at him through soft eyes.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"When I was in the library earlier I looked through a copy of the latest revision of Hogwarts, a History. It said that in the days of the Dark Lord that the stairs could tell when a boy had honorable intentions to save or rescue a girl and wouldn't turn into a slide. You were right." She explained, her voice turning soft. She couldn't help but remember the way Ron had held her last night when she had awoken from her nightmare and looked away.

Ron looked at her and realized he had been too harsh. She had only been kidding and they had been playing fun. He shouldn't have gone off on her. Quickly something came to mind to lighten the mood.

"Well I guess I really am smart." He commented. Immediately Hermione looked up. He smiled at her and slowly she smiled in return.

"I knew you were." She muttered taking his arm and hugging it. Ron smiled as she cuddled up next to him. He picked up the book and began to read again.

After a few chapters, Hermione fell asleep on Ron's shoulder. He continued for a few more pages, intending to lay Hermione down on the couch and head up to his own bed, until he, too, fell asleep.

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While they shifted in their sleep, it was not in terror or pain but to get more comfortable. Again no nightmares came, no scary visions of what could have been, just restful, dreamless sleep.

AN: Chapter edited 6-18-07