Long story short: I had absolutely KILLER writer's block that just passed a few hours ago. Updates will still be sporadic, unfortunately, as I'm working 50-hour weeks all summer and I can only write on weekends.
One more point of interest: If you have a tumblr, follow me at youdidntseenanything, or just anon message me to say hi or pester me about updates, or prompt a drabble, because drabbles are so much easier for me to write than actual long chapters. So if you need a fix of angst or fluff or whatever, prompt away. The 39 clues fandom on there consists of about 5 people, but that's okay. xD
Kind of a short chapter, but at least I know where the whole fic's going now, so enjoy! :3
This is so awkward. And I don't mean the ironic, hipster kind of awkward.
Nope, this is easily the most awkward situation I have ever been in. Ever. There is no going forward from this point. The awkward capacity has been reached. Shit shit shit, I never thought I'd want Emily back, but at least then Benjamin would have someone else to look at, instead of staring into my very soul like he is now.
Okay, I wanted this. This is what I wanted. I was so jealous of Emily being so close to Benjamin, getting to kiss him, because I wanted to be her. So I shouldn't be freaking out right now.
But oh my god, this is awkward.
I have no idea if Benjamin has a destination in mind, and so we're slowly (and did I mention awkwardly?) walking down the street and back in the general direction of the park. We're still holding hands, but I honestly don't think he intends on speaking this entire time.
Fuck it.
"So..." I start, inwardly cringing at myself.
"Right. So." He says stiffly, but determinedly, and drops my hand so he can grab me by the shoulders and spin me to face him.
"I am so sorry, Grace." He says earnestly, "I have been a complete twat to you."
"Well..." I try to think of a convincing argument against what he said, and fail. "Yeah, you sort of have. But I mean it's none of my business what you do, really. I mean, I sort of thought... But never mind. I kind of wish you had told me what was going on earlier, but..." I let my voice trail off, realizing I probably just admitted way more than I had intended to.
"I know. I should have just laid everything out there in the beginning. It would have probably sent you running, but at least I could have said it."
Wait, what?
"What are you apologizing for?" I ask, eyebrows furrowed.
"... What do you think I'm apologizing for?"
"For not telling me about you and Emily, obviously. What else would you apologize for?" great, now things are awkward and confusing. It's like a bo-go sale of socially inept conversation.
"Emily? Shit, right. No. Okay. Erm. Okay. So Emily thought that you wouldn't leave me in a room alone with her, and she saw you climb on the hotel balcony and so she kissed me to see what your reaction would be. Right after she saw you leave she stopped. Neither of us liked it, I can promise you that much."
Well that's some new information.
"So... She wanted to see... To see if I..." I stammer out.
"Yes, um, to see if you... yes."
c
"She figured that you, um... yes."
We stand there facing each other for a while, not sure whether to smile or awkwardly look away
"But then what were you actually apologizing for?" I asked.
Benjamin averted his eyes, then took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and looked me in the eye. It reminded me of that kiss in Dan's car- he decided that he wanted this, and went for it no matter what the consequences.
"I was apologizing for ever confusing you about Emily, but also confusing you in general. Em, I would assume, has a better understanding of the opposite sex than I do, and she gave me a right stern lecture for keeping you 'hanging.' I wanted to apologize for that, and then... clarify."
"Clarify?" I asked, hating myself for how hopeful my voice sounded. A bit of the old Benjamin came back when he heard that, because he was smirking slightly when he responded.
"Yes, clarify." He took another deep breath, but kept his eyes focused on me.
"Grace Cahill, I'm quite certain that you're the best thing that could possibly have happened to me. I'm so, so sorry for ever leaving you confused, especially about a particular girl that is one of my best friends and who is also more than slightly insane, but who is, to clarify, just a friend. I can't even begin to explain how you've opened my eyes to things that I should have been exposed to before, and it's like you're giving me my childhood. I will truly never be able to thank you enough for that. Also, on top of that, I... fancyyouquiteabit."
"Sorry, what was that last part?" I asked, grinning widely now.
"Fine. Grace, I fancy you. A great deal. Happy now?"
So we all know by now that I'm not the best at social situations. The fact that I burst out laughing after that confession can act as further proof.
"Grace?" Benjamin asked, looking, quite frankly, terrified. "Maybe I misunderstood, I'm so sorry, I can just leave now, God I'm going to murder Em later-"
"No, no!" I interrupted between bursts of laughter. "No, I'm sorry. It's just... That was very British of you. I wasn't expecting that."
"Would you rather I put on an American accent and say something along the lines of 'ay baby, what do I gotta do to get wit you?'" he asked, sending me into more (slightly hysterical, I will admit.) fits of laughter.
"No, It wasn't the way you said it, that was so sweet and I promise I feel the same way, I do. It was just... The word you chose. Fancy. It just conjured images of like, feathered hats and long dresses, or something, and..." I cut myself off and laughed some more.
I looked up at Benjamin from where I was slightly crouched over from laughing, to see him grinning hugely.
"I'm sorry, I'm sure that was a very nice explanation, Grace, but to be perfectly honest I stopped listening after 'I feel the same way.'"
"Well that was rude. It was a marvellous expl-"
And then I was cut off.
By Benjamin's mouth.
Because it was kind of attached to mine.
And I was finally kissing Benjamin Kabra again.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew he partially did it to shut me up, but I mean, hey, whatever works, right?
I'm not complaining.
...
Emily smiled to herself from her lookout position once she saw Benjamin finally step up and kiss his girl, but her victory was cut short when she saw a familiar red head dart into a store across the street. She immediately left her post (up a tree by a fence, flattened against a strong branch) and rushed to where she saw the girl go.
"Well hey there, cousin." She said, falsely bright.
Becky visibly jumped, then shrank against the shelf slightly.
"What a coincidence seeing you here!" Emily continued, "I was just thinking it's been far too long since I saw dad's side of the family. So how are things?"
Emily wasn't fooling Becky for a second and she knew it. She might as well have screamed 'the fuck are you doing here?'
Emily pressed on, loosing any pretence of friendliness.
"Okay so you need to listen now. I have no idea what you're planning, but since we share a common branch... or at least half of one." she looked disdainfully at the taller girl. "I feel as if I should let you in on something. Benjamin is my best friend and Grace makes him happy. I have no idea what you're planning to do with this information, and, trust me, I could suggest a variety of places where you could shove it, but that's all you need to know. Go run to your loyal little Ekats and tell them that your savior's daughter's gone to the dark side, I really don't care. I've decided I like Grace, despite her questionable lineage, so you aren't wrecking anything for her."
Becky looked as if she was about to protest, then thought better of it and nodded before turning around to leave. Emily stopped her.
"Oh, and Becky, love?" She called, "Do let my favourite uncle know I said hi. That is, if he can hear you."