Mentally
What really goes through Coricopat and Tantomile's heads at the ball?
Thankyous to all my reviewers!
Disclaimer: I don't own CATS!
A/N: Alright, long-ish chapter – Bustopher Jones! Oh yeah, I haven't watched CATS! for a while, so I can't remember where Cori pulls all those silly faces! D:
{Coricopat} = Mental thoughts.
[Tantomile] = Mental thoughts.
Coricopat's movements.
Tantomile's movements.
Every thing else.
Chapter11: Bustopher Jones
"Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones,
In fact he's remarkably fat,"
['Remarkably fat?' That's the understatement of the century!]
{He's not even a cat – he's a giant, tuxedo wearing, spoon-toting bowling ball!}
[You're still on about that?]
{I WILL ALWAYS BE ON ABOUT IT!}
"He doesn't haunt pubs,
He has eight or nine clubs,"
{Cos that's all that will hold him…}
[Oh shut-up and greet him with the other Toms!]
"For he's the St James's Street cat!"
{Quaxo, you suck-up!}
"He's the cat we all greet,
As he walks down the street,
In his coat of fastidious black,"
{His bowling ball suit you mean!}
[Build a bride Cori, build a bridge.] (1)
"No commonplace mousers,
Has such well-cut trousers,
Or such an impeccable back,"
{How can you have an impeccable back?}
[You don't want to know…]
"In the whole of St James's the smartest of name is,
The name of this Brummel of Cats,"
{Wha-?} (2)
[It's in reference to Beau Brummelly, a -]
{Hey, hobo man, hey Dapper Dan! You've both got your style but brother you're never fully dressed without a smile!}
[What?]
{Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly – they stand out a mile but brother-} (3)
"And we're all of us proud,
To be nodded or bowed to,
By Bustopher Jones in white spats!"
[So, if he wasn't wearing spats, and white ones at that, we wouldn't be proud to be nodded or bowed to?] (4)
{Who cares what they're wearing on May Street or Saville Road, it's what you wear from ear to ear, and not from – Munkustrap you suck-up!}
[Well that stopped him singing!]
"In the whole of St James's the smartest of name is,
The name of this Brummel of Cats,"
{What's with the giant top hat?}
[I think he's going to sit on it.]
{The bowling ball?}
[Yes, the bowling ball!]
"And we're all of us proud,
To be nodded or bowed to,
By Bustopher Jones in white spats!"
{So, if he wasn't wearing spats, and white ones at that, we wouldn't be proud to be nodded or bowed to?}
[I've already said that, Dummy!]
{Well I didn't know that!}
[Obviously.] (5)
{I'm gonna go closer to get a good look at the bowling ball!}
[You do that…]
"My visits are occasional to the Senior Educational,
And it is against the rules,
For any one cat to belong both to that,
And the Joint Superior Schools,
For a similar reason when game is in season,
I'm found not at Fox's but Blimp's,
I am frequently seen at the gay Stage and Screen,
Which is famous for winkles and shrimps,"
{Whoa, long-winded speech…}
[Do you even know what 'long-winded' means?]
{…}
"In the season of venison I give my benison
To the Pothunter's succulent bones
And just before noon's not a moment too soon
To drop in for a drink at the Drones
When I'm seen in a hurry there's probably curry
At the Siamese or at the Glutton
If I look full of gloom then I've lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton,"
{Heck, he's still going!}
[He-he, Skimble and Plato look like they're having slow-mo spaz attacks!]
{Admetus does too.}
[NO HE DOESN'T!]
{Touchy, touchy!}
[Shut-up!]
"In the whole of St James's the smartest of name is,
The name of this Brummel of Cats,"
[Cori, what the Hell are you doing? Now you look like you're having a slow-motion spaz attack!]
{NO I DON'T!}
"And we're all of us proud,
To be nodded or bowed to,
By Bustopher Jones in white spats!"
{Can't. *Ngh* Stop myself. *Pantpant* Bowing!}
Coricopat springs up out of his weird bow thing
[He got over that quickly…]
{What's with the feet crossing thing he's doing?}
[Some kind of mating ritual?]
{Hahalol! He nearly fell off the hat!}
[Did you just 'lol'?]
{…Maybe…}
"So much in this way,
Passes Bustopher's day,
At one club or another he's found,"
{So why do you yell at me whenever me and the guys go out clubbing?}
[I swear, if I have to wake up to you, Tumblebrutus and Pouncival singing 'High School Never Ends' one more time, I'm going to ban you from coming into the house!]
{Come on, that only happened once!}
[Try three times!]
"It can be no surprise,
That under our eyes,
He has grown unmistakeably round!"
{But bowling balls are generally round!}
[What about your bowling ball? It's square!]
{What? It is?}
[No. Not really.]
"He's a twenty-five pounder!"
{O_o}
[What? How can you use emoticons in telepathical conversations?]
{XD}
[Riiiiight…]
"Or I am a bounder,"
{A what?}
[Well, according to the English Dictionary, it's a noun that means 'A man who behaves badly, especially towards women,'] (6)
{Huh?}
[Oh yes. How could I have expected someone who's IQ is lower than a rock's to understand?]
{Why do I get the feeling that you are subtly insulting my intelligence?}
[It wasn't subtle, trust me.]
"And he's putting on weight every day.
I'm so well preserved,"
{Like pickles?}
[No.]
"Because I've observed,
All me life a routine and I say,
I'm still in me prime, I shall last out me time!"
{Have you noticed that whenever he opens his mouth he goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and-}
[I swear it, if you start that again, I will tell Alonzo every embarrassing thing about you starting from when you were four!] (7)
"That the word from this stoutest of cats!"
[Heh, you got that right!]
"It must and shall,
Be spring in Pall Mall,"
{What, only in Pall Mall?}
[Don't be daft! It's metaphorical – they're only saying it because 'Pall Mall' rhymes with 'shall'.]
{Oh.}
"While Bustopher Jones wears white,
Bustopher Jones wears white,
Bustopher Jones wears white spats."
{That was boring!}
[Be nice!]
"MACAVITY!"
{What's a 'Macavity'?}
[Now's not the time to be stupid – RUN!]
Well, this is probably the longest chapter…
1. 'Use the Force, Luke. Use the Force.' Hehe, I'm a Star Wars fanatic…
2. Eh, it was meant to be a Urine Town quote, but it failed miserably.
3. Guess the song and the musical – if you get it wrong, you've no theatre background!
4. That sounds like it should be a song!
5. Guess the movie and character! (Hint: It's a Harry Potter movie…)
6. That actually came from the online English Dictionary, but it has the same title…
7. Again, guess the anime and character!
Yay! Twelve chapters, 69 reviews, and another one coming! :)