hey guys so this chapter is kinda long and 'M'! remember that! please review for more updates! JJ x

As I walk into the house, after a day of work and hanging out with Jess, Mel comes over to me with a smile and a black pants suite, obviously just got home from work.

"Hey sweetie, listen I just wanted to talk to you for a sec!" she says in hushed tones and pulls me into the study

I look at her as she closes the door wearing a concerned smile "Mel, what's going on?"

She turns to me, taking my hand and pulling me to the worn leather sofa "your mom called today, she seemed...well, she said that you still had some things there, including your transfer papers and passport!"

I just look at her for a moment in shock "wow, um, I forgot all about that stuff! Have you told Daddy?"

She shakes her head lightly "I thought I should speak to you first, see how you wanted to handle this"

I smile and nod "thanks Mel, I really appreciate it. Um…well school starts next week so I guess I should go get my stuff soon as possible!"

She nods and says "yeah, so when do you want to go so I can book the day off?"

I shake my head lightly "…I don't think either of you guys coming would help anything with mom."

"I suppose, what about your friend Jess?" she asks brightly

"He's working all the time to save up for a new car, plus he and mom would just end up screaming at each other like always! No, I think its best I go on my own." She nods in agreement as we stand to head out

"Oh and Mel, could we… not mention this to daddy, I don't want him to worry." She nods as we leave the room

I smile as we head back into the living room, my dad sitting in his chair, going over paperwork he looks up at us with a bright smile and Mel and I sit with him, talking about the day's events, leaving out our conversation about my mother. This is something I have to do and I don't want it interfering with my new life!

The next day I walk happily to work and slip into my overalls, Gypsy gave me a job cleaning the stop way, tools and cars, she's paying me minimum wage!

As I mop up the oil from the floor of the last car I look over to my employer, who's just finished ordering a part "Gypsy?"

She lifts her head slightly as she fills out some papers "what?"

"I've been working here for three weeks and was wondering if I could have tomorrow off, you see there's this thing I really need to do so….please?" I ask with my best puppy dog face

She just shrug's from her seat and answers robotically "sure, you've worked hard, you deserve a break!"

I smile ear to ear "thanks boss!" and go back to work, humming quietly

Afterword's I head over to the dinner and take my seat on the counter "hey Luke, have the urge to feed a girl?"

The older man just smiles and nods "why not? What you want?"

I lift my head to look at the menus on the wall and answer "bacon and sausage on white bread please!"

He nods and heads into the kitchen at that moment the bell rings, but I don't bother looking and only hear a pair of heals and then two tough palms on my shoulders and I jump in horror.

As I turn I start to smack my friend "Jess, you are such an asshole!"

He chuckles lightly, Shane standing there with her arms crossed and rolling her eyes "Jess I'm going home now!"

He doesn't turn from me as he leans on the counter "ok" his only reply to her.

I can feel the dangers she sends my way before storming out, obviously she expected a kiss or something to rub in my face! Yeah she hates me, but that's cool, the feelings mutual, all she ever dose is pop gum, make out with Jess and try to show him off to me!

"So what are you doing tomorrow, work?" he asks as Luke comes out with my sandwich and a soda

I smile to the older man as I answer my friends question "um, no actually I'm going shopping in Hartford. What about you?"

He signs and pulls out a book from his back pocket and drops it onto the counter "work!"

I just nod and take a bite from my juicy meat filled snack "cool…so any progress in the Rory department?"

He sighs deeply and looks at the book on the counter "hey did you know 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' comes out next month?"

I just look at him as he dodges the subject and sneaks a bite of my sandwich with a smile.

The next morning look in the mirror with a long sigh, my hair out and wild, back into my old New York clothes, a pair of ribbed black jeans, white sneakers, and blood red shirt to match my hair with my classic leather jacket. I slip out the house without any trouble, having waited for everyone to go to work.

I now stand at the bus stop, waiting in boredom; I missed the last bus by about four minutes, meaning I have to wait for an hour for the next one.

"Hattie?" a voice asks and I look up to see a car and that amazing bright smile from the driver's window

"Dean, hey I thought you'd be at work, or with Rory!" I say, trying to bite back the bitterness at her name

He doesn't seem to notice as he smiles with his hazel, jade mixed eyes "no, it's my day off and Rory's with her mom. So where are you headed?"

"New York, I need to pick up some stuff I left behind." I say before I can think, why did I tell him that?

"Hey why don't I take you?" he says with a kind word

Before I can object he says "come on it'll be much faster and easier to get your stuff back!"

I bite my lip and look down to the floor, I'm not sure if this is such a good idea, do I really want to show him my past?

"Hattie? Really it'll be fun, we haven't hung out since I got back!" he says and all my worry is buried behind the tall boy

I climb into the car and as I buckle myself in he smiles "New York here we come!" and I beam at him

"Oh my god! That's hilarious!" Two hours later I sit laughing in the car as we race down the highway

He sits chuckling "hey it's not funny! I worked really hard on it!"

I wipe at my eyes, trying to save my makeup "it so is! I mean, come on you made her a car and it was wrecked within a week! That's just so tragic!"

He shakes his head at me "ok, enough! It's your turn, who was your first real kiss?"

I calm down and say, slightly out of breath "my real first kiss was with Olivia Main!"

He looks at me wide "wow…um…I didn't know you were…um…"

I laugh and rest my hand on his arm "Dean chill, I was twelve and it was spin the bottle! I'm not a lesbian!"

He breaths out and I look at him with an evil expression "who was the first person you ever slept with?"

His face pales at that and he avoids my gaze "um…well…she…, her name was Lucy Jacobs and it was just before I moved to Stars Hollow, Happy? ... Same question!"

I feel my heart drop, I didn't expect that and I shift uncomfortably in my seat "um, well, it was…Jess."

He seems shocked and slightly angered by that answer, his knuckles whitening on the wheel and an awkward silence building for a few moments

"Favorite sic-fi movie?" I ask to break the tension

It seems to work as his face splits into a huge grin "that's easy, The Faculty!"

I can't help the flutter of butterflies in my stomach, he's perfect!

I sigh as we pull up to the old grey building, littered in graffiti "Do… you want to stay here and protect the car?"

He just shrugs and says "the car will be fine, I have double locks! Let's go!"

He gets out of the car and I take a deep breath as I follow him into the familiar building, we walk calmly and quietly to the elevator, it smells of sex, pee and spray paint!

As we reach the eighth floor and the doors open we walk down the hall, stopping outside a grey disheveled door.

I pull out the old key and dangle them nervously in my hand "Hattie, is everything ok?"

I look up into his beautiful eyes and beg "I need you to promise me that whatever you see or hear once I open this door won't change what you think of me… or the way you look at me, Dean please…?"

He frown his brow and nods "I promise!"

I inhale, turn the key and push the door, only to be greeted with a slight struggle and the sound of clashing glass. As the door opens we set inside and find the place is a wreck, wallpaper pealing, paint chipped walls, newspapers, take out boxes and over a dozen vodka bottles and beer cans scattered all over the room and furniture.

"Home sweet home" I mutter to myself mournfully

I turn to a wide eyed Dean and whisper "my rooms this way, my mom might still be in her room so try to keep it down!"

"In and out, got it!" he whispers back and follows my well calculated footsteps.

As we reach my bedroom door and step silently inside, my rooms a lot different from the rest of the apartment, its clean for one, apart from the thick layer of dust on everything. My bed is made and posters scattered across the walls.

I go into the wardrobe and pull out the old tattered suitcase and large carrier bag, opening each and throwing them on the bed

"Just throw clothes and everything in here, I'm mostly looking for papers, my passport, anything that looks important!" I say going through my old chest of draws.

"Yeah, sure" and hear him move hesitantly

After a few minutes of nothing but clothes I hear a high pitched voice come from the door "Hattie?"

Standing there is a short woman, with curly messed shoulder length brown hair, her clothes ragged and worn; she'd be pretty if she went so skinny! She runs over and embraces me in a tight hug

"Hi Mom" I breathe through her tight but weak grip around me

"Oh my baby it's so good to see you, I've missed you so much!" she says pulling away and grabbing at my face, but then notice's the other presence in the room and turns to Dean

She eyeballs him like a kid does a lollypop "Hattie baby who's your friend?"

I sigh as Dean Stands there awkwardly, unsure of himself and what to do "mom this is my friend Dean, Dean this is my mom."

"Please call me Page!" she says offering her hand and he takes it politely

She stops eyeballing him as she stumbles, turning to me "so what are we having for lunch? I tell you baby the take outs been killing me!"

She then staggers into the living room, shoving the trash in her way to the floor. I lean on the doorframe, Dean standing there awkwardly.

"We're not staying." She nod and picks up a half empty can and takes a long swig

"Ok baby, but make sure to bring back something to eat… oh and be a dear and pick mommy up a bottle of vodka!" I sigh and straighten up, walking into the living room

I stand in front of her defiant "no mom, i just came for my stuff then I'm going back to Daddy"

She turns to me with a glare of anger "Daddy? Since when has that no good fucker become Daddy?"

She stands, coming to me as I say "don't talk about him like that!"

"And do you call his whore mommy as well?" she shouts in drunken rage

I can't fight my tongue as I scream "Mel's more of a mother to me than you've ever been!"

A burning throb echo's through my face as her hand strikes my cheek

"Hattie!" I hear Dean shout and then feel his hands trying to examine my face

But as he asks about my welfare I can't tear my eyes from my mothers, my hand cupping my cheek, hers over her mouth in shock horror!

"Hattie baby…" she reaches out her hand to me but I cower back into Dean's arms

He raps himself around me "leave her alone!"

I push myself away from his embrace and sigh "its fine Dean. I want my passport, transfer papers and anything else you have!"

She nods full of guilt and turns to the lamp, papers trapped under it and hands them to me. I quickly snatch them from her and take a look, finding everything I need.

"Dean lets go." I say blankly

"I'll just grab the bags!" as he heads for my room I reach out and take his arm

"Forget about them, I just want to go home!" he nods and follows me to the door

"Hattie…I'm sorry!" my mother weeps

I look as she sobs and give a woeful smile "I know Mom…you always are!"

Dean and I walk silently into the elevator and as the doors close I can feel his eyes on me, as I fight the tears trying to break through and the numb throb in my cheek.

"You promised!" I whisper mournfully

"Hattie… that isn't you, it's just the past!" I turn to him in shock, his face sweet with bright eyes and a tight smile

I can't control my relief as I clasp onto his middle "thank you!"

His arms circle me as the doors to the elevator, but as they open a tan, well built, long haired blonde guy is standing there

"Well, well what have we here?" he asks with a sly smile and I quickly pull away from Dean, put not completely

As we try to pass him he smiles "what Hattie, no hug?"

"Drop dead!" I bite as we walk

"Heard you left the city? Gone and found yourself a new toy already, what, got bored of the old one?" he says as he follows us outside

I snap at that and turn on my heal "shut your fucking mouth! You don't know anything about Jess, or Dean and certainly not about me!"

At this he grabs my arm and pulls me to him "don't know about that, I think I know you pretty well, don't you?"

"Hey, get your hands off her!" Deans there instantly, ripping his arm from me and blocking his path to me

"Well you got him well trained don't you? Take my advice dude, jump on for the ride then sell the horse!" Dean's fist connects to the blondes jaw

I watch in amazement as he falls to the floor and Dean takes my hand, guiding me back to the car, but as he opens the door for me I hear the boy shout as he stands

"Fucking bitch isn't worth the trouble man!" and I glare at him

"And your still a fucking asshole Nick!" I shout back as I climb into the car beside Dean

We drive off quickly, stopping at a drive-though, the radio and chewing the only sounds breaking through the strained silence.

I look from my food to Dean and swallow the fries in my mouth "I lied to you!"

He darts his eyes from the rode to me "what, when?"

"When we were playing twenty questions earlier …Jess wasn't the first guy I slept with, the blonde you punched, Nick, was." I say as I stare out the window

"We went out for a few months, Jess didn't like him, but I… I thought he loved me, so I… he dumped me the next day, I was fifteen. I said it was Jess because I was his first, I just wish he was mine, least he actually loves me, besides, it's better to say I lost it to my best friend than to some guy who didn't give two shits about me!" I sob at the memory, only to feel a hand slip into mine

I look up at him through my tears "it's not your fault, the guys a jerk and you deserve better!"

I lean over as he raps his arm around me and I blubber into his chest "thank you De, thank you!"

I feel him kiss the top of my head as we drive down the highway and I fall into a dull peaceful sleep.

I feel him move my arm and rouse to find that we're pulled up outside my house.

I turn to Dean with a sleepy smile "thanks for coming with me today, I don't know what I would have done if I'd been on my own, you really are my hero."

He smiles sweetly at me "what are friends for?"

I go to get out the car but only manage to open the door as Dean says "Hattie… if you need anything, I'm here!"

I lean over and kiss his cheek, savoring the touch, and I as I pull back, our faces barely a few inches apart, his hazel, jade orbs meet my emerald ones, then fall to my lips, but suddenly he snaps back to reality, leaning back and smiling sheepishly.

"Goodnight Hattie" he says sweetly and I just nod and step out the car

When I reach the porch I look back to see him staring at me pensively, I give a small wave and head inside. I rest my back against the door and close my eyes, so relived to be home, I open my eyes and take in the sight before me, the hardwood floor and table, golden brown carpeted stairway, the golden-cream walls, the archways leading into the dining room on the left, living room on the right and kitchen at the back.

I walk into the living room, the golden-cream color echoed in here, it's so warm and welcoming with a large stone fireplace, over the fireplace is a portrait, its formal and sweet, Daddy and Mel standing behind me, hands on my shoulders, two more beside it, but they were taken when we we're playing around, full of laughter and joy.

It's so different from the skip of an apartment I once called home, if you could call it a home!

"Princess, what's wrong?" I turn and see my father's worried expression, only then do I realize I'm crying

I walk over to him and hug him tightly "thank you, god thank you"

I hear him chuckle as his arms circle me "not that I mind but what am I being thanked for?"

"For coming to get me, for saving me, for giving me a home!" I cuddle into his chest and he cups my face in his hand, I'm thankful the red mark has dwindled into a rose blush

"You don't need to thank me for that! Hattie, everything I've done from the moment your mother got pregnant has been for you, I built this life for you princess, I'm your father it's my job!" I smile up at him as we hold each other, a silent content moment between father and daughter.

Later that night as I sit in my bed, restless and sorrow filled, I don't want to be alone so I stand in my oversized t-shirt and creep down the stairs, gratified to know that my parents room was on the other end of the corridor.

As I reach the bottom of the steps I lean over and grab the phone from the table, resting it on my lap as I sit on the steps and dial.

A sleepy voice on the other end answers "what?"

And I bite my lip quietly "it's me, I… um… I need you!"

"I'll be there in ten!" he says suddenly awake and alert

"I'll leave the door open!" I whisper quietly and hang up the phone; I stand and put the door on the latch then head back up to my room, waiting on the floor of my bed.

As the creek of my door screams at me I look up and see the man I called not fifteen minutes ago

"Jessie!" I say jumping up into his arms and he holds me tight

"I'm here, I'm right here!" he sooths and I pull away to look into his big chocolate, auburn eyes

"I went back to New York today, I left some things behind I needed… I saw my mom, she freaked, hit me, then I saw Nick, being his usual charming shelf and I …I just need you right now" he nods and sighs

"Why didn't you tell me?" his eyes meet mine as I start to sob

He softens as he sees my tears and pulls me into his arms "oh, Hat's"

I cling to him as I cry "I'm so fucking stupid! I let him get to me, why did I let him… oh god Jess!"

He cradles me softly, one hand buried in my hair, the other trailing soothing circles on my lower back, I rub my nose into his neck, hearing him moan lightly as my tears die out and rub against his skin

"Jessie…" I groan as my hands roam over his 'Clash' shirt covered chest, one gripping his hip, the other gliding over his jaw

He lets out a long breath and I pull back slightly, only for him to lean down and ghost his lips over mine, I can feel the soft graze of them and the short gasps of his breath.

"Hattie…Hats…" he pants lightly as our lips dance alongside each other

I give a tinge of a smile and reach up on my toes, connecting our lips in a familiar kiss, not our usual friendly peck, but filled with passion, want and need!

We start walking at some point during the kiss, with me backing into the bed. We're hindered as my knees meet the bedpost and I withdraw just for a moment to tug his shirt up over head. His coarse, worn hands grasping the back of my creamy soft thighs, lifting me up against the white wooden pole and rapping my legs around his waist.

As he starts kissing my neck I run my fingers through his well moussed hair and cling to his arm for support I can feel him through his jeans.

"Jessie baby… please!" I beg as he nibbles on my ear

He moves me from the bedpost gently an swiftly, making me cling to his bare chest and neck "I got you Hat's" he says as he places me softly to the bed

He climbs over me, his hand running past my cotton panties and under my shirt cupping my right breast as I claw tenderly at is chest, only to grab his arm and flip him onto his back, thanks to my legs around his waist.

We're nose to nose and we share a giggle at my quick movement. I sit up on his lap, and lift my shirt off, throwing it somewhere behind me as I lightly grind into his jean clad hard on. I look down at him, all the playfulness from a moment ago vanished and replaced with the lust of a horny teen.

He looks up at me adoringly and sighs "oh, Hattie…you're beautiful."

That comment takes me off guard and I can't help biting my lip and shying away slightly, only for him to grab my hips and pin me back under him, his lips meeting mine in a rough, passion filled kiss.

I feel his hands working their magic on my body, one kneading my breast, the other making delicate circles on my hip as we massage our only clothed parts together.

As we kiss I have a flash of Nick laughing, then Dean kissing Rory, the blue eyed doe. I snap my eyes open and see Jess, the guy I dreamed of marrying since I was six, who's always been there for me, my best friend, my Jessie!

He looks at me for a moment and frown's "Hat's, what's wrong?"

I remember the first time we did this, a few weeks after Nick destroyed me! Jess was holding me as I cried for the loss of my innocence, for being so foolish. I told him that I'd always thought he'd be my first, and he said the same to me, which led to us being in a very similar situation as we're in now.

"No, Jessie, I just… I'm really happy you're here." I reach my hand down and hurriedly undo his pants, struggling slightly to get the jeans and boxers down.

He smiles brightly down at me as he moves to help me "me to"

He kisses me sweetly, my feet getting his pants to his ankles as he kicks them off, the kiss becomes more fierce as his finger lightly trace's the rim of my underwear, hooking his digits through the sides and swiftly, yet smoothly pulling them down and off my legs.

He strokes at my dripping core and I can feel every inch of his skin touching mine. I pull back from the kiss and pant "Jessie wait….we need…" he nods robotically and reaches to the end of the bed, grabbing his jeans from my chest there and pulling out a foil packet.

He quickly and carefully puts the condom on and re-positions himself "somehow we always manage to skip the foreplay!" he smiles

I rake my fingers through his hair and grab his firm ass as I smirk "foreplays overrated!"

I thrust up, helping him glide swiftly inside me, buried to the hilt. We both moan at the sensation as we start the move against each other.

I throw my head back in bliss, tearing at his back as he kisses bites and moans against my neck "fuck Hattie, you feel so good!"

He leans up to kiss me and I can't fight my load whimper of pleaser "god, Jess, Jessie…oh yes!"

I feel his blunt nails dig into my hips as he quickens his pace and I arch my back into him, as he clutches one of my thighs, bushing it up under his arm, my other leg wrapped tightly around his waist as he suckles on my breast and had a vice grip on my curved hips.

We kiss harshly not just from the ecstasy pulsing through our nerves, but to shut each other up as we ride hard against the other. As I scratch my long nails down his back he bites hard against my neck.

"Fucking hell… JESS!" I shout as my orgasm shutters through me

He carries me through and a moment later reaches his own release, moaning my name as he does so. He rolls off me, both of us panting heavily "have I ever told you you're the greatest best friend ever?"

I laugh lightly and watch as he moves to put the condom in the trash and then climb back into the bed "think my parents heard?"

"It's highly probable, yeah!" he shrugs with a smile as we roll to look at each other

He chuckles lightly "sorry about your neck!"

I reach up to touch my sore neck and see a bit of blood on my fingers, I shake my head with a light smile "not the worst you've given me, I think I still have bruises from that night in Jo's, remember?"

He chuckles and nods "yeah, that was the last party we went to before I first came here. I distinctly remember spending most our time in the bathroom with everyone banging on the door!"

We laugh lightly together and slip into a comfortable silence, just as I feel my eyes start to close I hear him say "I saw you get into his car, Dean, I saw you this morning."

I fight to open my eyes and just look at him for a moment, but before I can say anything he says "I've never seen you smile the way you do when he's around… you love him, don't you?"

I just stare into his brown pools and bite back a sob "I …I don't know, maybe…yeah, yes I think I do!"

He nods his hand moving a strand of hair from my face with a small smile "ok… go to sleep Hattie."

I just nod and snuggle up to my friend, this is what we do, we get hurt or broken, the other one comes in and makes the pain go away. We're always there for the other; the best thing about it is that no matter what…I know I'll always have my best friend!