Joy- day twenty
Joy it means real unaltered happiness. The Valeyard had felt a lot of amusement, content or pride. But joy? He wasn't sure where he had felt it last. Not that it mattered, only these insolent meddling creatures the humans would not shut up with their songs and talk about Christmas joy. He was bored and he couldn't help but listen to them and think. Joy he thought, what a strange conception, who would be that happy? He rarely feels satisfied now. Oh how satisfied he felt when he saw the fear in the Master's eyes there on that trail on Gallifrey. Oh yes even the Master was afraid from him, the Valeyard but it was just a satisfaction he thought but when did he feel joy last?
Was it in his Eleventh life with his two human Pond companions? No it was excitement it was fun, but joy pure joy no…Perhaps his Tenth life with Rose and her mother. No he was merry then, happy even but there still was something from the war on the back of his mind stopping him from being really joyful. Oh but yes he remembered when it was he was really joyful it was in his Eight life with that human doctor on the New Year's Eve. Yes, he had felt really truly joyful at that night.
Not that it really mattered now he huffed and waved with his hand. All that Christmas joy and noise were gritting on his nerves now. He didn't need to feel joyful now; he was content to feel satisfied even if rare. He had felt satisfaction when he had killed the Doctor the first time, but then he found his mistake when his timeline was starting to disappear. And it should have been logical after all the Doctor was his past. But not really he wasn't the Doctor anymore he was the Valeyard. He was no more the Doctor than the Doctor was Theta and still he found out that he couldn't kill him without consequences. Joy, the Valeyard used to know what it was, but he didn't feel it anymore, he haven't felt it for lifetimes. But no matter now.