Song: According to you by Orianthi

Pairing: Past Jarlos, Cargan

Disclaimer: Do not own Big Time Rush or any of the characters. Do not own song, either.

Xxxx

According to you, I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right.

I look back to those times we were still together every once in awhile. Like those parties you use to host. Before they would begin, you would always sit me down and tell me the same things. To keep close, to stay quiet, and basically not do anything that might embarrass you. I remember once I asked you why you kept me hidden away, why you wouldn't let me be myself, and this is what you told me.

"Let's face it sweetie, you come up with some stupid, useless ideas. I know you have good intentions, but they can never come out right."

According to you, I'm difficult, hard to please, forever changing my mind.

Back to the nights when we would go out to dinner. How often you would complain that I took too long to place my order. The servers were always sweet, telling me to take as long as I wished. You always had something to say though.

"Honestly Carlos, you're being difficult. We'd already be eating if you weren't forever changing your mind. Stop acting so hard to please."

I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time even if it would save my life. According to you. According to you.

Premier nights, when you would pick out my clothes, tell me what cologne to put on, how to do my hair, before dragging me out to your car. Once you even told me…

"If you actually knew how to dress I wouldn't have to do this all the time. Seriously, I fell like your mom. Telling you when to get up and get ready and leave because god only knows you can't show up on time to save your life."

According to you, I'm boring, I'm moody, you can't take me any place.

I remember those times I wouldn't hear from you for days, maybe even weeks. There was that one time when you called me in the middle of the night after a period of 4 days of not hearing from you.

"Hello? James?"

"Hey babe! How ya doin'?"

"What's with the music? I can barely hear you."

"Oh! I'm at a party!"

"Are you drunk right now?"

"Listen babe, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess you can't help the way you are."

"James, what are you talking about?"

"See! This is what I mean! You can be so moody sometimes that it's like you're bipolar. And my friends think you're kind of boring. Like at my parties they tell me you're just there. You don't talk, you don't do anything, that you're just like my shadow or something."

"James, I'm going to hang up before either one of us says something we are going to regret."

"Seriously babe, I feel like I can't take you any place!"

"…"

According to you, I suck at telling jokes 'cause I always give it away. I'm the girl with the worst attention span; you're the boy who puts up with that. According to you. According to you.

I even think back to the first time I introduced you to my friends. How you would keep interrupting me when I would try to tell a story or make a joke.

"Sorry babe, but you suck at telling jokes. You always give the punch line away." And "Baby you need a better attention span if you're going to try to tell it, but don't worry I tell it better anyways."

I remember my best friends raising their eyebrows, before giving that look. The look that said 'really Carlos? Really? Why are you putting up with this?'

But according to him, I'm beautiful, incredible; he can't get me out of his head. According to him I'm funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted.

Then I think about how I got to where I am now. How I always wake up to my best friend resting his head on my chest, arm across my waist. How that same day he met you, he dragged me away telling me we needed to talk.

"Carlos, what are you doing with him?"

"What do you mean, Logan?"

"Carlos I've only known him for like an hour, and I can already tell he's completely wrong for you."

"You don't know anything about him. You don't know what he's like when we're alone."

"Does he tell you you're beautiful? That you're incredible?"

"Well…"

"That he can't get you out of his head?"

"…not exact-…"

"How funny you are? How irresistible you can be?"

"…Logan…"

"Carlos, you're everything anyone could ever want…you're everything I ever wanted."

Everything is opposite; I don't feel like stopping it, so baby tell me what I got to lose. He's into me for everything I'm not, according to you.

I remember that at that moment as I watched my best friend walk away… how right he really was.

I need to feel appreciated, like I'm not hated. Oh—No—why can't you see me through his eyes? It's too bad you're making me decide.

I never felt appreciated with you. You would push around or push me away. You made it seem like I was your obligation, like you didn't even want me around. Almost like you hated me. Maybe if you saw me the way he sees me, we would still be together. But as I look down at him now, the content look on his face. The feel of his soft cheek and warm breath on my bare chest. There's no way I would ever regret my decision.

According to me, you're stupid, you're useless, you can't do anything right.

I can't help but think you were the stupid one. You let me go when already had me. Without me you'll probably feel useless without anyone to bring down or tell what to do.

"Hon? What are you thinking about?"

I look down to see my best friend, now boyfriend, starring up at me with half-lidded eyes. The arm he use to have across my waist, now pillowing his head as he looked up at me. Even with the haze of sleep still surrounding him, his soft pink lips are formed in a smile I've come to love more and more each day, as he waits for me to speak.

I bend down to give him a good morning kiss on the forehead.

"Nothing important…"

He's into me for everything I'm not, according to you.

No…I wouldn't change a thing.

Xxx

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