Chapter 6
Hey guys. Sorry this took me so long... I had a serious case of writers block and I've also been incredibly busy. Since posting the last chapter I've worked on two films, planned and done most of the work for two group project finals, volunteered at a huge film festival in Hollywood, worked the tunnel of oppression at my school, and traveled between my parents' house and school like three times. All in two weeks. I've been really really busy.
But now I have a little free time until finals and I'll try to get as much written as I can before then! If you'd like to keep up with my progression on the story and see what creative excuses I come up with for not writing, come find me on tumblr: three3littlebirds (the link is in my profile)
Now without further ado, here is chapter 6!
Sparkles. Gold sparkles. Rachel stares just past her shoes and the bright gold sparkles on her flats morph into fuzzy circles dancing in the light. She shivers in the cold wintry air and lets her eyes refocus, bringing her head up and moving her gaze from her feet on Santana's doorstep to the Lopez's front door. She takes a deep breath, wrapping her fingers tighter around the black leather strap of her purse, contemplating the glowing doorbell to her right. Just as she's about to reach out and ring the doorbell, an arm reaches around her and a long slender finger extends to press the glowing button. She huffs.
"I was going to ring it, you know." Rachel turns around to find that the owner of the impatient finger is none other than Quinn Fabray.
"Sure you were." Quinn smirks.
Rachel inhales a sharp breath with a rather witty comeback prepared on the tip of her tongue, but right at that moment Santana flings the front door open. The wall of warmth from inside the house reminds Quinn and Rachel of how cold it is outside. In their haste to get inside and get warm, they miss Santana's eyebrow quirked curiously at finding the two girls apparently arriving together.
x x x
Quinn was surprised to find Rachel Berry on Santana's front doorstep. Yes, Santana pitched this as a Glee party but they usually try to exclude Rachel from those. She feels that all-too-familiar feeling of her stomach twisting guiltily. God, they've been terrible to her. They've always been Rachel's only 'friends' but in the past they've done everything they can to not include her. Quinn sneaks a glance to her right and watches Rachel as she hands her red wool peacoat to Brittany to hang in the Lopez's coat closet. Rachel's eyes are bright and she has a glowing smile curving the corners of her mouth. How can she be so happy around us still, after everything we've done? Quinn wonders, but then realizes. She just wants friends. God. She's so desperate for people to be around that she's willing to hang out with people who treat her like she's nobody. Quinn wants desperately now to show Rachel that she is somebody. That she means something. To glee club, to Lima, to the world, to Quinn…
She digs her fingernails into her palms to stop her thoughts. Jesus, Fabray. What the fuck? Stop thinking about her. You. Don't. Care. While the dialogue in her mind says one thing, the feelings inside of her convey the opposite. She cares. God, does she care. She's starting to think the voice in her mind is just an annoying habit. She doesn't even believe it anymore.
She doesn't realize it but she's waiting for Rachel before she walks into the living room to join the rest of the club. Rachel is sure to receive a warm welcome if she comes in at the same time as Quinn.
"Hey guys!" Sure enough, Mercedes, Tina, Kurt, and Mike wave and greet the two girls as Rachel and Quinn cross into the living room.
Rachel glances around the room for a place to sit, and ends up perched on the arm of the loveseat occupied by Kurt and Tina. There are a few open beers around and a bottle of vodka on the table but for the most part everyone appears to be just sitting and talking and she falls easily into their conversation. For the first time in a while she feels warm and happy. Included.
Quinn notices the small smile on Rachel's face. The girl looks like she's genuinely enjoying herself. Quinn is trying not to embarrass herself but she keeps asking Rachel questions and talking to her quite a bit more than she does everyone else in the room. She tries to balance it out, but every time Rachel says her name or responds to a question she's asked Quinn can feel a blush rising up on her face. Her cheeks remain tinged pink and before anyone can remark on her pallor she comments on the temperature in the room, fanning herself delicately with her hand.
The conversation has turned to everyone's plans for the rest of spring break. Quinn really doesn't care. Rachel is remaining silent but Quinn really wants to know. She's curious to know if she'll be running into Rachel during the rest of the week. She didn't realize it but she's used to seeing Rachel every day; even the weekends away from school seem too long to go without seeing her. Quinn hopes Rachel will be around this week. What, Q, are you going to invite her to get coffee? Oh yes. She won't think that's weird or anything.
"Rachel, what are you going to do this week?" Whoops. The words just fell out of her mouth. She was thinking them but she didn't intend to actually say them. Oh well. Too late.
"Oh, well… my dads are out of town so I have the house to myself! I'll probably just relax and watch movies this week; maybe practice my piece for my regionals audition." Rachel recites her previously rehearsed her answer. She doesn't want to sound pathetic. Sure it will be a little lonely, but they don't need to know that. Nobody really seems to react, though, which she takes as a good sign. Santana looks deep in thought, Kurt is already talking about his audition piece, and Quinn is chewing her lip thoughtfully. Ooookay…
Quinn mentally reminds herself not to invite Rachel to do anything. She doesn't have the greatest self control so she's not sure how much good it will do, but she's willing to take the extra precaution. She can't just start hanging out with Rachel Berry. She needs a reason, or something. Like this party. Except she's pretty sure she's making a fool of herself. The word awkward was not one Quinn would ever have used to describe herself, but it's quickly becoming the best description of her behavior around Rachel. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Santana leap up from the couch. Fuck, Santana probably thinks she's gone insane. It's time to shut up. Quinn bites her lip and places her chin in her hands, resolute in her decision not to open her mouth again tonight.
x x x
Santana jumps up from the couch and excuses herself from the living room. She wanders from the hallway to the kitchen, unsure of where she's going or exactly why. Something Rachel said is making her think. She traces her hand along the granite countertop, watching her deep purple fingernails shine in the soft recessed lighting. She catches a glimpse of the smooth tan skin of her wrist and turns the corner towards the foyer quickly, almost running into Brittany.
"Hey San! I-" Brittany starts before Santana's soft hand on her shoulder cuts her off. Santana presses her girlfriend slightly to the side in order to scoot by her before walking briskly towards the staircase.
"Hang on, B." Santana sprints up the stairs two at a time. She has an idea… and needs to make a call.
xxx
Rachel's hand tightens on the brass handle of the powder room door as she twists it open. The noise of the party is getting to her a little; Mercedes and Tina have the loudest laughs (cackles, really) she's ever heard and her head is starting to pound. Rachel startles immediately as she notices another body in the powder room, perched on the sink. Brittany lifts her head and meets Rachel's eyes before ducking her head back down again. Her lower lip sticks out the tiniest bit above her quivering chin and her eyebrows are drawn together in sadness.
"Brittany? What's wrong?" Her shock at finding someone else in the bathroom is outweighed by the confusion brought on by the unfamiliar experience of seeing Brittany Pierce looking anything but bright and happy.
"I think San is mad at me." Brittany chokes out and a lone tear squeezes from her eye and snakes down her face, dripping from her chin to her lap and soaking into the dark denim of her jeans.
"What? Why do you think she's mad at you?" Rachel places a hand comfortingly on the blonde's shoulder.
"She b-blew me off. I tried to talk to her but she pushed past me." Brittany responds dejectedly, a broken sob cutting through her sentence. She rests her head on Rachel's outstretched arm. "I don't know what I did."
Rachel realizes that she hasn't seen much of Santana all night, despite the fact that this is her party. She's certain there's a reason, though. Santana and Brittany are so clearly in love. She is completely convinced that they'll live to be tiny shrunken old ladies together and have a thousand little adorable Cheerio babies. She smiles at the thought. Rachel knows Brittany is sensitive and is probably misinterpreting something.
"I'm sure she's not mad at you. She's probably just really busy with the party. Santana wouldn't ignore you." Rachel smiles reassuringly at the blonde.
"Promise?" Brittany asks; her wide, trusting eyes locked onto Rachel's.
"I promise." Rachel replies, grabbing Brittany's hand and helping her off the countertop. "Let's go find her, okay?
x x x
Rachel remembers vividly the last time she was on the second story at Santana's house, despite having been completely wasted. She knocks timidly on Santana's door and hears a slightly muffled version of what sounds like the end of a phone call before Santana opens the door. Rachel steps aside to reveal Brittany and presses herself out of the way against the hallway wall to give the girls some semblance of privacy.
Santana's look of annoyance at finding Rachel behind the door quickly dissipates and morphs into a look of worry when she notices Brittany. "B, what's wrong?"
"San?" Brittany toes the ground nervously and brings her face up as she transfers her gaze from the carpet to Santana's face. "I thought you were mad at me… but Rachel said she didn't think you were trying to get away from me downstairs?"
"Oh B, no!" Santana looks heartbroken. "No, no, Britt." She reaches her left hand to grab Brittany's where they are clasped tightly in front of her. Her right hand reaches up to wipe a tear from her girlfriend's cheek and softly cup her face. "I'm sorry, B. I had to make a call and take care of something really quick." She smiles to show Brittany that she's not mad. "You just- you made me think of something. I wasn't running away from you." She wraps her arm around Brittany's waist and pulls her girlfriend in close to her side. "Okay?"
"Okay." Brittany sniffles and smiles up at Santana.
x x x
Santana feels terrible. No matter how long they've been best friends and now girlfriends; she still sometimes forgets how sensitive Brittany is.
After hearing Rachel let slip that her dads would be out of town for a week, she felt compelled to do something. Santana remembers being alone after… She recalls the way she used to deal with her problems when she was alone at night with her feelings. She closes her eyes to stop the shudder that passes through her. That urge won't ever go away, no matter how long it's been. Santana can't let Rachel feel that. She needs to make sure she's safe. She didn't realize exactly what to do until she saw Brittany… which sent her dashing upstairs to her room with an idea. She didn't realize how the blonde would take it.
She sighs. She forgets that her girlfriend gets upset when she disappears for a couple of minutes without informing her, and here she was gone for almost an hour. She pulls Brittany closer to her side and kisses her cheek.
"You know I love you, right?" She whispers into her girlfriend's ear.
"Yeah. Me too. Promise you're not mad, San?"
"Of course not, sweetie." Santana reaches over and links her left pinky with Brittany's. "B, I promise I'll tell you later, 'kay?"
Brittany smiles. She always loves when Santana links their pinkies together. It's their thing. It means everything's ok. "Thanks, San."
"Let's go back downstairs."
x x x
After a few more hours of laughing and chatting and singing and games, the party begins to wind down.
"Okay, you guys. It's getting late… I should be getting back home." Finn presses his giant hands to the cushions on either side of his thighs and heaves himself up off the couch.
"Well, he's my ride. I'll see you guys next week at school?" Kurt smiles and stands up to follow Finn. "Thanks for inviting me, Santana."
Murmurs of agreement sound through the room and soon everyone is up from their chairs, hugging and saying goodbye. Rachel makes her way to the foyer at the back of the group as she prepares to leave. Before she can reach the door, however, she feels a small hand wrap around her wrist and she whips around to face Santana.
"Hold up, Berry. I'm having a girls' night. You're staying."
"But-"
"Yay! Oh my god, really?" Brittany claps excitedly and appears suddenly at Rachel's side to wrap her arms around the smaller girl. "It's going to be so much fun! Rachel's never been here for one of our 'girls' nights' before." Brittany lifts her head up from Rachel's shoulder and winks at her.
Santana's eyes widen at Brittany's use of air quotes. She clears her throat. "Not that kind of girls night, B." She gives a mental shudder at the implications of Brittany's insinuation. Ew. Hobbit. Okay maybe reminding herself that Rachel is gross is just a reflex and it probably wouldn't be that bad… but she's pretty sure Rachel doesn't swing that way. "Q's staying, too." She adds, trying to simultaneously make Brittany stop talking and to give Rachel something else to think about before she realizes what Brittany meant.
Rachel doesn't make an effort to keep her confusion from showing on her face. Why are Santana, Brittany, and Quinn having a girls' night with her?
"I mean, I would have invited like, Mercedes and Kurt and Tina but I'm pretty sure when you all have your sleepovers you sit around singing Broadway and shit. I'd probably have to kill myself."
"But… But I didn't bring anything with me!" Rachel insists, not entirely caught up with the conversation.
She's been busy trying to imagine what on earth the girls could be planning to do to her. This is it. This is what they've been planning for. Oh god, they're probably going to murder me and stuff me in a closet.
"That's ok. I have pajamas you can wear and extra toothbrushes in the guest room. You're staying, Berry." Santana pulls Rachel from Brittany's grasp and drags her upstairs before she can object again. Brittany giggles before following the girls up to Santana's room.
x x x
"S invited Rachel to stay over too!" Brittany sits next to Quinn on the living room couch, and grabs the bottle of vodka from the table. "Want some?" Earlier, after throwing a pair of pajamas at Rachel to try on, Santana pulled Brittany aside to explain her plan. Although slightly disappointed that it does not in fact involve any kind of sex, Brittany is happy to have the company and be able to help Rachel.
"She- she what? Really?" Quinn makes a sad attempt at keeping a smile from blossoming on her face at the prospect of a night with Rachel. Whatever. Santana's not here. Jesus, Q. Control yourself. She snatches a shot glass from the table and holds her hand out to Brittany. Social lubricant. Exactly what she needs to ease her Rachel-induced awkwardness.
"Yeah. San doesn't want her to be lonely since her dads are gone."
Quinn doesn't try to hide her smirk before downing her shot. It seems she's not the only one with a mysterious soft spot for a certain tiny brunette.
x x x
Hours after the other glee kids left, Rachel is curled up in the corner of the loveseat in the living room marveling at the seamless conversation she's been carrying on with the three cheerios who have made her high school life a living hell. God, her freshman year self would kill for this… a "girls night" sleepover with the three most popular girls at McKinley? But now… now she's just paranoid all the time. But despite being deeply wary of the three girls with whom she's conversing, the night has been progressing quite well.
"So I told Finn again that he should really stop asking me out-"
"Girl, you gotta regulate." Santana cuts in, holding up a finger to stop Quinn from finishing.
"Okay Santana seriously, stop talking like that. I mean, I prefer it to the Spanish, but honestly. I'm more ghetto than you are."She waves her hand in a circle in front of her, indicating the lavishly decorated living room in which the four girls are currently sitting.
"Oh, whatever, Tubbers. You should be thanking me. You'd probably be all up on that awkwardly gargantuan oaf if it weren't for me warning you about how terrible he is in bed. Worst twenty seconds of my life." Santana crosses her arms in front of her and looks haughtily toward Quinn for her response.
Quinn tries in vain to stop the blush from blossoming over her cheeks. "I… would not! We're just friends. I don't see him that way. I keep trying to tell him that."
Santana laughs and nudges Brittany with her elbow. "Check it, B. Q's blushing. Still haven't lost it yet, Quinnie?" Santana grins evilly as Quinn's blush deepens. "Hey, I offered to help you with that."
"You should take her up on her offer, Quinn. San was the first person I had sex with. Why would you want to be a virgin?" Brittany pipes up, clearly oblivious to the deeply embarrassed look on Quinn's face.
Santana notices Rachel shift uncomfortably in her seat at the direction the conversation is heading. She can tell that Rachel's mind is taking her somewhere else. The smile fades from Santana's face and she lowers her voice so just Brittany can hear her. "B, lets drop it."
"Why?"
Santana nods her head toward Rachel, hoping that's enough of an explanation. Brittany has always been good at reading negative emotions.
"Oh. San's right, Rachel, you do look sad. Is it because Jesse made you have sex with him when you didn't want to?"
Rachel can feel every eye in the room turn to her face.
Shit.
I had a very difficult writers-block-ful time writing this, so reviews would be much appreciated! Even a few words just to let me know if you loved or hated it.
... Your reviews remind me that there are actually people reading this and that I should sit down and write some more!