Shout-Outs: Ebony10, AngryLittlePrincess, reig, Totorsg, chymom, Wldwmn, and TheLifeILive for reviewing chapter 7. You guys are still amazing.

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Chapter 8

After she had sent her family away for the day, she called Jane and asked him to come and see her. He obliged happily and was there before she even had a chance to make tea or lay out cookies.

"I'm glad you're alone," Jane said while she tried to make tea. "There's something I've wanted to talk to you about for a while now."

"You go ahead, I'll talk later," Lisbon replied not turning around to look at him.

Jane laughed nervously. "I was going to wait until Christmas, but I just can't anymore."

Suddenly, she knew exactly what he was going to say. She turned around to look at him and shook her head. "Please, don't say it."

"But what if it's true?" Jane asked getting up and going towards her. "Lisbon. . . Teresa. I love you; I've loved you for years. I don't want to pretend anymore, I want to have a real relationship."

Lisbon's eyes filled with tears. "Jane. . . this was the worst idea that we've ever had."

"I don't think so," Jane whispered as he put his hands on her face, drawing her nearer to kiss her. The kiss wasn't pretend or for show. It was filled with honesty, and longing, it was filled with a promise of a thousand tomorrows. When he finally pulled away, she was breathing heavily and avoiding his gaze, her cheeks wet with tears.

"Please. . . go," Lisbon whispered.

"But Lisbon—"

"I said to go! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"I said that I loved you! Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Jane asked.

"That's the problem it means everything to me!"

Understanding dawned on Jane's face. "You love me too! And you're scared because you know this could be something real! You want to end something before it starts, walk away before you have a chance to get hurt!"

"So? I'm scared!"

"I'm the one who should be scared," Jane said. "I never expected to fall in love again. . . I didn't think I ever could fall in love again. Now I have, and the intensity of my feelings for you scares me to death Teresa."

"Stop it!" Lisbon begged. "You're only making this harder."

Jane sighed in defeat and let go of her, he felt cold and empty without her in his arms. He leaned down to kiss her one more time and then left without looking at her again.

Lisbon felt all her energy leave her with the closing of her apartment door. She found her way to her couch and sank down onto it, curling up into a ball; she was exhausted from her sleepless night and her confrontation with Jane. She buried her face in her hands, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

She didn't wake up for what felt like hours. And when she finally did, it was because of all the noise her family was making in the kitchen. She pulled herself up off the couch wearily and went straight to her bedroom; she knew her family would ask what had happened between her and Jane. And she was too spent to get into the details.

And she wasn't in the mood to get scolded by Maura for letting go of another potential husband.

Lisbon didn't bother to get changed or brush her teeth, she was too tired. And even though she wanted to cry because her heart was breaking into a million little pieces, she couldn't even muster up enough energy to do that.

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Across town, Jane sat in his dark apartment with a mug of forgotten tea in his hand. He stared straight ahead at the wintery moonlight that was filtering through his curtains and into his living room. He couldn't move he had never felt the cold sting of rejection quite this hard before. He didn't even know how he had made it back to his apartment or how he had even made tea for that matter.

He had been so sure that Lisbon felt the same way about him that he hadn't prepared himself for the possibility that she might turn him down. He felt like the geeky teenager who had been rejected by the most popular girl in school.

Finally, when he thought the silence was going to kill him, he turned the television on looking for a mindless movie to get lost in. After he had looked at all the channels for a while without finding anything decent to watch, he put some music on and made himself a fresh cup of tea.

It wasn't until the next morning, when he had woken up in a rumpled suit and covered in cold tea that he decided that he was going to try to win her back. He had never been the kind of man to give up on something easily.

.

Lisbon was awake early the next morning. She grabbed a change of clothes and went to take a shower, hoping it would give her a little bit of energy so she could slip out and get coffee at Marie's. She still needed to avoid her family for a little bit longer. She didn't expect Annie to be waiting for her when she got out of the bathroom.

And suddenly, she decided she needed the company. So, she invited her niece to join her.

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"Did you break up with him?"

Lisbon nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "I did."

"Why?" Annie asked. "You two were perfect together."

"It was stupid," Lisbon replied.

"Maybe if you ask him nicely, he'll take you back?" She suggested.

"It's not that easy Annie. . . he won't take me back," Lisbon said. "I think I hurt him."

"I won't tell anybody you two broke up."

"It's okay, everybody will know by the end of the day anyways," Lisbon said wistfully.

"Yeah. . . I guess you're right."

Lisbon managed to smile as she took another sip of coffee, but inside she felt hollow and terribly low on Christmas spirit. She wished that she could rewind and go back to the previous afternoon. She would have handled the situation differently, she would have waited until after the holidays to end things. . . maybe she would have told Jane that she still wanted to be friends.

Or maybe, she would have swallowed her fears and told him she wanted to have a real relationship too. No more pretending. . . no more friendship.

A tear slid down her cheek and splashed in her coffee as River by Joni Mitchell began to play over the speakers. It was the worst song for her current situation. It made her feel like crying her eyes out all over again. And she probably would have if Annie hadn't been with her, or if she had been in the privacy of her own bedroom.

She hated this, she barely ever cried and now here she was crying over a man she hadn't been able to stand on the first day they had met. She wished she knew when things had gotten so complicated.

"Everything's going to be okay," Annie said, taking her aunt by the hand. "I believe in Christmas miracles."

Lisbon offered her a shaky smile. "I think it' going to take more than a Christmas miracle for things to be okay between me and Jane again, but thank you for your vote of confidence."

Annie smiled and swiped her finger through the whipped cream that topped her hot chocolate. She shot up a prayer to God, Mary and the rest of the saints she had learned about in Catechism that everything would work out for her aunt and Patrick Jane by Christmas day.

TBC. . .

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Author's Note:

I am cruel, I know. . . but you're getting a chapter tomorrow. Please tell me if you liked this chapter, or if you hated it. I'll say this honestly, I LOVED writing this chapter.

And for those curious, I'm not Catholic. I'm a practicing Presbyterian. I do the Catholic thing in my stories because it's IC and not Mary Sue-ish. Making Lisbon a Presbi would definitely be a Mary Sue. Anyways, that's all beside the point.

Until tomorrow then.

Love,

Holly, 12/21/11_

P.S

I edited this to "Possibility" by Lyykke Li. The chapter was originally written to "River" by Joni Mitchell though. Listen to both songs if you like.