My Danna's So Pretty: Part V

Recap: After Sasori kissed him, Deidara ran off. When Sasori began to follow him, Kiara-Belle stopped him, and it turns out Kiara-Belle knows that Deidara is a guy, and who they are. She doesn't care, and wants Deidara to stab Renji instead of poke him, much to Sasori's surprise. Sasori, while looking for Deidara, ran into another guy also called Renji, who he argued with for a bit. When Sasori found Deidara, they made up.

Genre: Humor/Romance/Parody

Disclaimer I: Don't own. If I did, Deidara would be ALL MINE.

Disclaimer II: So sorry this chapter took a bit to come out. My USB screwed up, meaning I lost ALL my stories, so I had Writers Block, and I was really pissed off.

Warning! Boom makes hand-signs… CHEAP-FILLER-CHAPTERS-NO JUTSU!!!

By aBoOm-Un

Deidara let out a contented sigh, and fell back onto Sasori's wooden chest. He shut his eyes peacefully, and ran a hand over the redhead's torso. He then looked up at Sasori, who had his eyes shut, and was leaning against the bedpost.

"Sasori no Danna, un?"

Sasori wearily opened his eyes. "Hmm?"

"Why am I lying on you, un?"

Sasori shrugged slightly, and then said, "It's comfy, I s'pose…"

"Hmmm… What would happen if a person walked in on us, un?"

"By a 'person' you mean Kiara-Belle, eh?"

"Noooooooo, I mean Renji, un…"

Sasori looked seriously at his partner. "Why would Renji walk in on us, anyway? He's totally wasted…"

Deidara smirked slightly, and said slowly, "I forgot about that, un…" Sasori simply smirked at him.

"What the hell are you smirking about, un?!" Deidara pouted, slamming a fist on Sasori's chest. Sasori winced slightly, and snapped, "Don't do that, you idiot."

"Why, un? Why, Sasori no Danna, do you feel pain? I never knew that…"

Sasori frowned at him, and said, "Well, now you do…" Deidara grinned, and poked Sasori hard in the neck.

"Gah! What the hell, Deidara?!" Sasori shouted, rubbing his neck hastily. "Of COURSE it hurts to poke me in the neck, you bloody idiot!!"

The blonde began to giggle hysterically, shutting his eyes, rolling backwards. When he opened his eyes again to see Sasori's face, he cracked into absolute hysterics, laughing so hard he fell backwards off the bed.

"Ow! Goddammit, un!"

Sasori laughed evilly, and said, "That's what you get, you freakin' idiot!"

Deidara propped his arms up onto the bed, and raised an eyebrow at Sasori. He then sighed loudly, and threw his head back, hand up next to his forehead. "Oh, I'm SO weak, un! I wish I wasn't such a woman!" He shouted hysterically, waving his free arm around in the air. Sasori's smirk dropped, and he said slowly, "What the hell, Deidara!?"

Deidara screamed, "YOU ARE MEAN, SASORI, UN! CUSSING ISN'T NESSICARY, YOU STUPID GIT, UN! AND NEITHER IS SHOUTING!"

"…"

"DON'T USE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME, UN!!!" Deidara screamed uselessly, putting on a 'victim' act. Sasori blinked twice.

"Deidara, you're the one who is shouting…"

Deidara shut his mouth in a hurry, and climbed back onto Sasori's chest. "I'm sleepy, un…"

Knock knock!

Sasori, not even bothering for Deidara to get off of him first, rolled off the bed, Deidara falling with a splat to the floor.

"GODDAMMIT, UN!!!"

Sasori looked back, and smirked at the grumbling blonde, who was lying on the floor. He opened the door, to see Kiara-Belle standing there, a pen in her mouth, three scrolls in her arms, her glasses knocked anew and hanging off her nose, while balancing a vase on her head. She said quickly in a distorted tone, "Can I come in?"

Sasori nodded quickly, and stepped to one side, where Kiara-Belle slammed all the scrolls on Deidara's unoccupied bed.

"Bloody hell!" She exclaimed loudly, rolling her shoulders. "Those bloody scrolls are so BLOODY annoying!"

Sasori blinked twice, and Deidara (who had gotten his toothpick back) sat up, his toothpick wiggling in his teeth. Kiara-Belle looked at them, and said in confused tone, "What? What the hell is your problem, guys?! Haven't you ever seen a chick cuss before?"

Deidara grinned, and said, "Ne, Makoto-chan cusses a lot, un! Doesn't she, Sasori no Danna, un?" Sasori groaned loudly, and shut his eyes tightly.

"Makoto-chan should keep to healing, like a good girl does…"

"Ne, ne, but Makoto-chan is a great fighter with weapons, un! But, why does she have that flower in her hair, un?"

"Because Makoto-chan wants to keep people mistaking her for a man…"

"Noooo, Makoto-chan is a chick, because of her blue hair, un!"

"… Kisame has blue hair too…"

"Makoto-chan likes Kisame-san, un! I know it!"

While Sasori and Deidara debated over Makoto's feelings, Kiara-Belle sat back, a blank expression on her face. She coughed twice, and said, "Errr… Guys?"

Sasori and Deidara looked at Kiara-Belle, and said simultaneously, "Yeah?"

"Un?"

"Errr… Do you wanna do something? I'm so bored…" Kiara-Belle said nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. Deidara grinned at her, while Sasori simply shrugged.

"Meh. What the hell."

…

Kiara-Belle and Deidara were whispering to each other again, and were giggled. Sasori rolled his eyes, and hissed at Deidara, "For gods' sake, you brat… Act like a MAN." Deidara looked at Sasori, and let out a fake gasp, and put a hand up to his chest.

"I am a WOMAN, un!"

Sasori just resisted the urge to whack his head against the wall. THIS was a mission?! Listening to a girl and a transvestite gossip and giggle?!

As they walked along, Deidara ran into a body. "Hey!" He cried, pushing the body back. When Sasori saw who it was, he let out a screech…

"ASSHAT!"

"JACKASS!" Renji cried, raising his arms. "Fancy seeing you here!"

Sasori snorted, and tossed his head back. "I'm just hanging with Seiya and KB. Why are you here?"

Renji grinned, his long brown hair falling into his eyes. "I'm just chillin'… And, how did an ugly fag like you get such lovely chicks?"

Deidara's face dropped slightly, and he glared at Renji. "He's not an ugly old fag!" When Renji raised an eyebrow, Deidara wrapped his arms around him, and hissed, "He's MY ugly old fag, for your information, un. My brother rocks, un."

Sasori smirked at Deidara, who was now hanging off his neck. Deidara smirked in triumph, and said, "Raisos-niisan rocks, un! Ne, KB-san, un?" When Deidara looked at Kiara-Belle, she was blushing madly, and playing with a bit of her hair.

"I… Uh… Uh…" She stuttered, blushing, pushing her pointer fingers together. Deidara and Sasori noticed this, and Deidara snickered.

"Sooo… What's his name, Raisos-niisan, un?" Deidara queried, looking at Sasori. Sasori smirked.

"He is asshat, master of dickheadery."

"I'm Renji…" Renji cut in, his brown eyes flashing dangerously at Sasori. Sasori gulped slightly, sweating. Deidara grinned, and said, "Ok, you're Renji. I know a dude called Renji, un…"

"Yeah, Renji is a popular name here in Iwagakure, shockingly. It's…"

"Gay, un!" Deidara shouted, grinning happily. "That's what you were gonna say, wasn't it, un?"

Renji glared at Deidara. "NO. I was gonna say, it was quirky."

Deidara anime-sweat dropped, and stepped away. "Yeah… That's also what I meant, un…"

Renji continued glaring at him, but then smiled at Kiara-Belle, and said, "So, why are YOU with the jackass?"

Kiara-Belle choked out, "He's… M…My friend… Renji-san…"

Renji smiled, and tugged slightly on her hair. "Well, maybe you should hang with me, yo. You won't be disappointed." Kiara-Belle gasped, and clutched her chest. Suddenly…

…She collapsed on the floor. But, she was caught by…

…"R-Renji-s-san?" She croaked, clutching her chest. Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Geez, talk about HOPELESS, un…" He murmured to Sasori, who nodded vigorously. Renji spun around to glare at them so quickly he could of gotten whiplash, and glared at them with such intensity that even Itachi would have cowered in fear of him.

Deidara and Sasori both sweatdropped and Sasori said nervously, "Errr… Seiya-neechan and I are OUT. Catcha."

And with that, Sasori and Deidara ran off, leaving a trail of dust behind them.

…

...MANY HOURS LATER...

Sasori and Deidara returned to the inn, Deidara holding many shopping bags, Sasori tentatively rubbing his shoulder, where he had carelessly received a punch when he kicked some dude who tried to hit on Deidara. Of course, they were pretending to be siblings… But still!

Deidara looked at Sasori, and grinned. "Hurting, Sasori no Danna, un?"

Sasori glared at the blonde. "Piss off…"

Deidara poked his tongue out at his Danna, and strolled into the building, only to see…

…Renji and Kiara-Belle lying on the small couch, canoodling away.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHERRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG, un!" Deidara screeched, dropping the shopping bags, and then putting his hand up to his eyes. Unfortunately, his palm-mouth started licking his eye, which made him scream even louder.

"GAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Un!" Deidara screeched, waving his hands wildly around. Sasori sighed loudly, and pulled Deidara's arm away from him, which coincidentally made him fall backwards, falling into Sasori's open arms. Deidara stopped screaming, and Sasori's eyes widened, then softened. Sasori, ignoring Renji and Kiara-Belle were in the room, leant in softly…

"WAIT A MOMENT!!!" Renji screeched, pulling himself away from Kiara-Belle, who looked disgruntled, and he pointed an accusing finger at Sasori. "I thought you guys were siblings!"

"Damn…" Sasori mumbled, letting go of Deidara.

SPLAT.

"Ack! Rais…"

"Don't be silly, Seiya …"

Kiara-Belle hastily said, "Naaah, they're always being close and touchy like this…" Kiara-Belle anime-sweatdropped, getting up off the couch, and pushing Deidara and Sasori to their room. "Trust me, Renji-sama!"

Deidara blinked twice, and hissed at her, "Renji-sama?! What did we miss while we were gone, un?"

"A lot! You nearly blew your cover, you freakin' idiots! Now, go into your room, and STAY IN THERE!!!" And with that, Kiara-Belle shoved Sasori and Deidara into their room, and slammed the door behind them. Sasori sighed, and slumped down against the door.

"Woman are pretty scary, y'know…"

"Is that why you like so called 'feminine' guys, un?"

Sasori's face dropped. "Are you purposely trying to insult yourself, Deidara?"

"How, un?"

Sasori, deciding to not even try to resist the urge, slammed his head into the door, over and over, while continuously muttering, "Crap… Crap… Crap…"

Deidara folded his arms, and giggled slightly, "So, do you think that Kiara-Belle and Renji are gonna get married, un?"

Sasori stopped whacking his head against the wall, and stared stupendously at Deidara.

"What. The. Hell? We're here to get Raijuu out, not be bloody wedding planners!!"

"But I wanna plan a wedding once in my life, un!"

Sasori shouted at the bewildered blonde, "You can plan OUR wedding, I don't care! Just SHUT UP!!!"

Deidara and Sasori stared at each other for a minute or two, until Deidara went slightly pink, and Sasori walked stiffly away, muttering under his breath, "I didn't mean it, you brat…"

Deidara blinked twice, but then slightly smiled at Sasori's retreating back, and said softly, "You didn't mean it then, un?"

Sasori suddenly stopped in his tracks. He spun around, gulped slightly, his Adam's Apple quivering slightly. He then gulped, and said strongly, "Of course I didn't mean it, you brat. Why the hell would I ever even CONSIDER marriage?"

Deidara smiled softly, and said, "Because what if it made you feel happier inside, un?"

"Happiness is just a word, Deidara."

"Then why do I feel it when I'm with you, un?"

Sasori stared at Deidara, his eyes wide. Deidara crooned, "… Mmmm, yeah. I feel happy when I'm with you, Sasori no Danna, un. Do you feel happy with me, un?"

Sasori frowned, "Don't ask stupid questions, Deidara…" Sasori then muttered something under his breath. Deidara didn't hear it, but Sasori knew he said it.

"Of course I do…"

…

Deidara woke with a sudden gasp. His forehead was covered in cold sweat, and his heart was thumping painfully. He ran a hand over his forehead, and sweat dripped down onto his fingers.

"Sasori no Danna…"

Deidara's head spun to look at his red-head partner. Sasori frowned slightly in his sleep, and rolled over onto one side, and he mumbled something illegible. Deidara smiled slightly at his partner. It was nice to see Sasori no Danna like this; just relaxing, not working, just at peace. Deidara rolled out of bed, and crept past Sasori, and into the bathroom. AS he turned the shower taps, a hot steam came pouring out, and filled the room. Deidara climbed in, and let his thoughts wander. Soon after, Deidara climbed out, and wrapped one of the fluffy white towels around him. He sighed, and looked into the large mirror above the sink. As his blue eyes saw his reflection, he looked sadly at himself.

"What have I become?"

He exhaled, and stared down into the shining sink. Sasori mumbled some more in his sleep, and rolled over once more. Deidara smiled softly at him, and pulled a t-shirt on, along with some pants. He loved times like this; when he could hear his thoughts, and didn't have to dress up as a woman. He sat on the day-bed, and stared out the window, looking up at the moon. The moon was very big, and it was full. He gazed up into it, and caught his reflection in the window. His sapphire eyes were sparkling slightly, and his face was relaxed. He flopped down onto the day-bed, and out the corner of his eye, he saw his toothpick lying on his bed-side table. He quickly sat up, and grabbed it. He popped in his teeth, and chewed ferociously on it. It splintered, and Deidara cussed mentally, and pulled it out of his mouth. He poked his tongue out, and looked at the splinters in it. He groaned quietly.

"Need some help, Deidara?" An amused voice came from next to him. Deidara looked beside him to see Sasori standing beside him, a smirk on his face.

Deidara smirked. "Yeah, un."

Sasori rolled his eyes amusedly, and sat down on the day-bed next to Deidara. "C'mere, you stupid idiot."

Deidara rolled his eyes, and poked his tongue out at Sasori. Naturally, Deidara was surprised when Sasori reached out and grabbed his tongue.

"Hmmph!" Deidara 'said' in surprise, trying to pull away.

"Stop it, you dumbass. You want to get them out, or what?" Sasori gently began to pull some splinters out of Deidara's tongue. Deidara's eyes widened in surprise, and said in shock, "Hmmmmmmmmoph?"

Sasori rolled his eyes in annoyance, and slightly snapped, "What did you expect me to do, French or summat?" Deidara let out an illegible noise that sounded between a giggle and a stammer, and went pink. Sasori groaned, and pulled one splinter out ferociously.

Deidara pulled away, spat twice, and snapped, "Ow! What the hell, un?

Sasori snapped back, "I'm trying to help you, brat! Now, STOP SQUIRMING..!"

Deidara pulled back, and Sasori leant forward, hand reaching out. Deidara fell backwards onto the wall, and Sasori crashed into him, his eyes widening in surprise.

Sasori pulled back, and they both stared at each other…

…But then leant in and kissed each other again.

And then three times.

Four times.

But no more than four.

Sasori and Deidara smiled lightly at each other, and Sasori fell back onto the day-bed, Deidara relaxing his head on his chest, like earlier on today. Deidara said softly, "Sasori no Danna, un?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't wanna seduce Renji, un…"

"And I don't want you to, Deidara!" Sasori said suddenly, pinning Deidara up against the wall. Sasori had a look in his eyes which said, "I'm possessive and manly."

Deidara noticed this, and said hastily, "Err, Sasori no Danna, un… Maybe we should get some sleep, and be prepared for what's gonna happen tomorrow, un? 'Cause we should do it tomorrow, un…"

Sasori's grip on Deidara slackened, and his face dropped. "Fine. Let's get to sleep, Deidara."

Sasori climbed off the day-bed, and walked over to his bed, when Deidara said meekly, "Danna?"

Sasori turned around and looked at him. "Mm?"

"…I had a bad nights sleep. Can I share with you?"

Sasori was silent for a moment, but then said, "…Sure."

Sasori and Deidara climbed into Sasori's bed, and Deidara unconsciously moved towards the closest warm object in his sleep.

…Sasori would never admit it, but he enjoyed Deidara lying next to him…

Hmmm… I enjoyed writing this chapter. Lotsa Saso/Dei fluff. Squee. Makes up for the horrendous last chapter… -shudders-

I really enjoyed this chapter. I hope you did too! I just really enjoyed the fluff… Oh yeah, what really sparked my fluff engine was the following songs:

To Be With You (Mr. Big)

Scar Tissue (Red Hot Chilli Peppers)

Andy, You're A Star (The Killers)

Somebody Told Me (The Killers)

Oh yeah, anybody noticed that in Somebody Told Me, the lyrics go,

"Well somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year…"

Nyahaha… I love it. Love always,

-aBoOm-Un