It was hot in Maluku. It was always hot in Maluku. Temperance Brennan had a troubled relationship with Christmas and yet this year was proving to be the loneliest holiday she had ever spent. Only she wasn't alone. In fact she was surrounded by people. She was even sharing a dwelling with someone. It just wasn't the someone that she wished to be with. This year she was lying on a cot in a tent in the Indonesian jungle and even here she wasn't able to avoid the joyous holiday celebrations. She tossed and turned, the heat seeming to seep into her every pore, ignoring the sounds of the happy people just outside her makeshift dwelling.

Daisy had tried to get her to join in the celebrations.

"Come on Dr. Brennan, it'll be fun," Daisy was pulling her hair into a pony tail after taking a shower in their outdoor unit. It was too hot to wear it down.

"No thanks," Brennan silently hoped the other woman would leave soon.

"You're our leader, you have to come."

"I have no interest in celebrating this holiday Miss Wick. I'd like to get some sleep. We need to resume our work in the morning. We're wasting enough time this evening as it is." Brennan had made the team work throughout the day, but had relented by letting them stop early to plan their event.

"You seem so sad. The party might cheer you up."

"I do not wish to go to the party Daisy. And I do not need to be cheered up. Also I highly doubt that there will be anyone at that party whom would adequately be able to achieve that effect."

"Do you miss Agent Booth? Because it's totally okay if you do. I miss my Lancelot but moping around isn't going to help me."

"I am not moping around, I'm just tired."

Giving up, Daisy sighed, "Okay, Dr. Brennan. I won't be gone too long, I know we have lots to do tomorrow."

The last thing Brennan wanted to do was celebrate. She didn't have any reason to celebrate. She had left DC to clear her mind, to focus on anthropology. But so far it wasn't working. She had to get her mind off of Booth. Off of the fact that she loved him so much that it scared her.

The memories of the Christmases they'd spent together came flooding back as she lay sweltering in the heat of the jungle. Booth and Parker in Sid's restaurant, a kiss on a dare underneath a sprig of mistletoe, Booth standing in the snow bringing her family the Christmas tree that made their prison celebration complete. All the happy Christmas memories she could recall involved Booth. She couldn't bring up one joyous thought without his face being firmly attached to the image.

She had allowed herself to bring one picture with her on this trip. It was a snapshot Angela had taken of her and Booth at last year's Christmas party. They were standing in Brennan's apartment, in front of the massive tree Max had brought, Booth's arms around her shoulders. And they both looked happy. She remembered that night. They both had been happy. What had she done to mess everything up so thoroughly? She was a fool. She turned that photo over and over in her hands, staring at his face until the memory of that night outside the Hoover made her sick to her stomach.

She couldn't lie to herself any longer, she loved him. She needed him. She wasn't functioning well in Maluku. She couldn't concentrate on the dig because she was too busy thinking of him. She wasn't even trying to make friends here. Like it or not, Booth had become part of her, she needed him the same as she needed air or water. She shuddered at the thought that it would still be months before she saw him again.

Brennan flopped onto her back and stared at the roof of her tent. She made a promise to herself then, a promise that as soon as she saw Booth again that she would jump into his arms and then she'd tell him. She'd tell him that she made a mistake, that she loved him. That she was a fool for leaving him and going on this trip.

And there, as Daisy and the other members of the expedition sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas" Brennan lay on her bunk and cried. She cried for everything she had left in DC, cried because she missed Booth until it made her physically ill and cried desperately hoping that she wouldn't be too late. She didn't want to spend another Christmas without him.