Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC it belongs to Bisco Hatori

Hikaru wanted to play a game?

A game?

How do you play a game with someone buried six feet under the ground?

But this was just like Hikaru. Instead of living on the edge he dangled off it, probably swinging his feet and laughing at the ones who over time had fallen as he did so. The best part about him though was that he always could sense when he needed to come off the edge, and help the friends that had yet to learn how to live life without caring. Or in the special case of Tamaki, how to care at least a little so that you don't fall off the edge and become one of the ones he's laughing at. Although, it was pretty fun to laugh at that idiot.

Okay, so Hikaru probably didn't try to influence Tamaki as much as he did Haruhi and himself.

But now, he was gone and their lessons were incomplete.

I twirled the tape absentmindedly between my fingers. For the longest time I couldn't tear my eyes away. Over and over the tape spun, never once leaving my grip or my eyesight. No, if it did it would vanish and then I'd be left with nothing, again. This is my only thread of hope.

Hope, that maybe I won't forget him after all.

Snow. Snow. SNOW.

No matter how many different ways I write it nothing comes to mind. What did he mean? Was it close or was it far? Why was Hikaru so sure that I would be able to find this tape with only a one word clue? This was close to impossible.

There were so many questions and none of them could be answered. Not with a vague message such as: Snow.

"Kaoru?" My head snapped up. Automatically my hand shoots to my pocket and traces the outline of the tape. It's still there.

Standing over my desk is Haruhi. Her eyes are watchful and her expression holds one much similar to one a mother would give her child after falling, full of concern and ready to pick them back up onto their feet in less than a second if they needed it.

"Are you going to lunch today?"

"No."

This answer created a frown on her pretty face. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Last night." I replied nonchalantly, still clutching the tape. But eating didn't necessarily mean it stayed in my stomach long enough to be of any real help to my body.

Her frown deepened, but she didn't seem to want to pursue the subject anymore. Her gaze dropped to my paper. She leaned forward. "You didn't take any notes. Do you want to copy mine?"

"It's fine, Haruhi. I'll study on my own tonight." I plastered a fake smile on my face hoping that would tide her over enough to leave me alone. But, that was just wishful thinking. She stayed rooted to her spot, in fact she pulled a seat out to sit down. A silent signal to me that she didn't believe me and that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

I used to admire that observant nature of hers, but now it is just another quality that makes my blood come to a boil. The same went for Tono's "heartfelt speeches" and Hani's breathtaking cuteness.

If they could supposedly see though me then why could they not understand I just wanted to be left alone?

"We're all worried about you, Kaoru." My eyes look up to meet Haruhi's. They had transformed from disbelieving to soft.

My shoulder's tense, but still I never let the smile fall from my face. "I'm fine, Haruhi. There's no reason for all of you to worry about me." My hand slips into my pocket and I grip the tape. "Hikaru is...gone, but I'm fine. That's what Hikaru would have wanted."

My eyes fall to the side but I take note of the watery state Haruhi's eyes had taken on at the mention of Hikaru's name. It's only been a month. I'm not the only one who is still hurting. I'm thankful though that her tears don't fall. If they had, I don't think I would have been able to keep up this act.

"You're right. He would have wanted that. But, are you really okay, Kaoru?" This time I don't look up. I can hear the waver in her voice. She's crying. "You're fine when you act for the girls at club. And you're fine when you act for everyone during school, but when you go home and the act finally comes to a close. You're not really okay, are you?"

There's an eerie silence lingering between us after her words.

No one speaks, no one moves.

A hand closes around my unoccupied one and I'm forced to look up into her tearful eyes.

I bite my lip, turn away, and break.

For the first time since the news of Hikaru's passing, I sob like a baby in front of her. I don't care that the bell has rung. I don't care that now students who have returned to class are now staring openly at me.

It hurts.

Her arms wrap around me and I bury my head into her chest to cry.

My body is shaking and my eyes burn, but still over my blubbering I still manage to gurgle out the words I wanted her and everyone else to believe so badly. "I'm okay. Please, believe me. I'm okay. I'm okay." I chant those words mindlessly over and over again.

Neither of us believed that those words were actually true.

Lately Kyouya has been turning a blind eye to my late appearances to the Host Club, probably because he's hoping I don't show up. It's hard to sell brotherly love with only one brother. Still, the girls come flocking over to me, begging me to talk to them about anything at all.

Once, I took them up on that offer and began a long speech about how it feels to go commando. The startled looks on their faces was priceless. Hikaru would have been proud. Kyouya however was not happy and the day was ended with him banning me from the club for a week.

"There's a dance coming up this weekend, Kaoru-kun. Are you coming?" A voice asked. I turn and give my customer an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry. I already have plans that night." That wasn't completely a lie. I planned on visiting Hikaru the night of the dance. "I'm sure you'll have fun without me."

"But, Hikaru-kun how will we have fun without you?"

The girls notice their friend's mistake and in an instant they jump to correct it.

"I'm so sorry, Kaoru-kun!"

"She didn't mean to upset you! Please don't be sad."

Sad? No.

Angry? Very.

Even when one of us was dead they couldn't get us right! Was it really that hard? Should I write my name on my forehead so they could see? No, even then they would still mistake the 'K' for an 'H'.

Maybe no one will be able to tell you two apart.

It wasn't completely true. Haruhi had showed us that but after high school it'll be just like...

Our early childhood.

"Do you want to make a snowman?" A girl around five years old asked. The two young twins looked at each other then back to her.

"Which one?" They spoke in unison.

"Both of you."

Snow.

"There's no 'both of you' here."

Snow. It had been snowing that day.

"Which is Hikaru?" One boy had said. "And which is Kaoru?" The other finished.

That day...at the elementary school. On the benches. It had been snowing.

"Kaoru-kun! We're sorry, please don't leave!"

It's too late. I'd already grabbed my bag and willed my legs to carry me towards the elementary school district of Ouran. Shocked and confused faces stare after me, the whirlwind that pushed and shoved people into walls if they dared to step into my way.

It has to be there. I know it is. Please be there.

I stand in front of the bench and stare. At first, I'm not sure what to do. I'm here, but there's nothing there.

I check behind it. Still nothing.

I bend down and look underneath it. I'm greeted with the dull shine of masking tape.

With a smile the tape is ripped from its hiding place and hurriedly nestled into my awaiting hands. Dumping my Walkman from my bag, I slip the tape in and listen.

There it is. The long awaited chapter~ Hopefully it was up to par and not a disappointment. I'll probably have the next chapter up either by the end of this week or next week. It's prom week! Yay~

Anyway, as usual drop a review by with your comments or questions. You won't be getting to know what's on the next tape until next chapter though. Thanks for reading guys and thanks for the reviews.