a/n:prompt from Poseidon - God of the Seas; - Inspector Lestrade tries to prosecute a fat,

bearded man for trespass. Ho ho ho!-

I may have got a bit carried away with this one :-)

Holmes and companions do not belong to me.

POV of Inspector G. Lestrade.

Jingle

Lestrade could feel the stirrings of a headache;

He'd had about enough of Christmas Eve:

This notion of goodwill to man, though worthy,

Had not discouraged those who liked to burgle, fight and thieve.

~0~

The prison cells were full and fit for bursting;

His men had all been working round the clock;

The paperwork was dull and time consuming;

He hoped at least a few they'd caught would end up in the dock.

~0~

He didn't think he'd clear the work by morning;

So many forms to fill and notes to file.

On top of which, he had this blasted headache!

He'd really like a moment just to sit and rest awhile…

~0~

A constable, quite young and green and flustered;

Strode in, appearing strained, perplexed and tense.

"Inspector, Sir, I think we have a prisoner,

If trespass on a roof with sleigh and livestock's an offence."

~0~

Lestrade observed an officer behind him,

Who'd entered with a portly man in red;

His long white beard and hair were rather striking;

A brightly colored fur-lined cap was perched upon his head.

~0~

By now, his threatened headache was established;

Lestrade wished nothing more than time to rest;

Instead, he had a shift which seemed quite endless;

And a stranger from the rooftops who was quite bizarrely dressed.

~0~

He sighed, and moved to check this new arrival;

Who seemed to have an air of festive charm,

They'd put the derbies on him, just precaution,

He really did not seem the type to cause them any harm.

~o~

Lestrade demanded name and occupation;

The prisoner chuckled loudly, " Take your pick:

I'm Father Christmas, Santa Claus, Black Peter,

Or Pere Noel or you can use the shortened form, Saint Nick."

~o~

His temples throbbed and burned a little stronger;

A joker; this had really made his night!

He turned towards the eager, flustered rookie.

"I'd like to know precisely what report you're going to write."

~0~

"I was proceeding in a westerly direction;

When far above, beside a chimney stack,

I saw the crouching figure of a burglar;

I made that swift deduction as he held a bulging sack."

~o~

"I watched him make his way along the ridge tiles;

Then swing across and step from roof to roof.

He was clearly stealing items from each household;

We had to apprehend him (and his sack as burgling proof). "

~o~

"So, Hopkins, Smith and I got rope and ladder;

Climbed up, and had a careful look around.

We trailed him as he moved amongst the chimneys;

Although I wasn't keen on being this far from the ground."

~o~

"Behind one chimney stack, we found his transport;

A quite ornate and battered wooden sleigh.

We also found a group of harnessed reindeer;

Though how he'd got them on the roof I really couldn't say."

~o~

"We saw him silhouetted on the skyline;

Got out a coil of rope and laid our trap

We tethered sleigh and reindeer most securely,

Pounced quickly on our trespasser, tied up the portly chap."

~o~

"It took some time to get him down the ladder;

He smiled and sang and jingled all the way.

Young Hopkins stayed on duty on the roof top;

A ladder can't accommodate a reindeer herd and sleigh."

~o~

Lestrade considered carefully the story;

His headache; now relentless, filled his skull.

"A detail; if he's stealing from each household;

His sack should not be empty, as it is; it should be full."

~o~

"That's where the tale becomes quite complicated,"

The nervous rookie started to explain,

"He told us he delivers goods, not steals them,

And follows, every Christmas Eve, the same routine again."

~0~

The portly gentleman then interrupted.

"Yes, every single word I've said is true.

If I can't visit every single household;

Then Christmas present shortage will be wholly blamed on you."

~o~

Wonderful! His night was not improving;

A policeman's lot was underpaid and hard.

And now, to top it all, this man had threatened

That global disappointment would be down to Scotland Yard.

~o~

Lestrade was not a man to shirk his duty,

He knew the rules; the letter of the law.

"You'll stay here while we verify your story;

We'll keep you till your case is proved; I've seen your sort before."

~0~

"I don't give in to threats and accusations,

I cannot be corrupted, never could.

I'd rather risk that worldwide condemnation

Than fail to do my duty; is that clearly understood?"

~o~

The man in red moved forward smiling widely;

The derbies had completely disappeared.

"Your words and moral courage do you credit;

But bear in mind that sometimes things don't go the way you feared."

~o~

He softly called for Donner, Dancer, Blitzen;

For Cupid, Prancer, Comet; one and all;

For Dasher and a terrified young Hopkins,

(Who was holding on to Vixen, when the reindeer heard the call).

~o~

The sky was filled with shooting stars and rainbows;

A merry jingling sound was everywhere,

Lestrade and weary sidekicks, stopped and listened;

And high above, a reindeer sleigh came flying through the air.

~O~

It landed, with a flourish, on the cobbles;

A white and shaken Hopkins tumbled out;

Lestrade approached the lad to pat his shoulder;

He'd had a strange experience; no shadow of a doubt.

~o~

They watched the red-clad fellow greet his reindeer,

And place his empty sack back on the sleigh,

It instantly refilled with festive parcels;

A smile, a wave; and Father Christmas went his merry way...

~o~

He raised his head, and rubbed his aching temples;

He'd slept, perhaps a minute; maybe two.

His head was filled with jingle bells and reindeer;

And still a few more hours to go before his shift was through.

~o~

He left his office, all was strangely quiet;

The bustle and the noise had all but gone.

A few stray Yarders sat in conversation,

He hoped they could explain precisely what was going on.

~o~

Young Hopkins rose to greet the puzzled Yarder;

He gave Lestrade a tired, triumphant grin.

"The lads are up to date with all the cases;

All prisoners have been processed and all paperwork filled in."

~0~

Lestrade looked round in grateful comprehension;

The shift was not as bad as he had feared

He thought about those jingle bells and reindeer;

And wasn't too surprised to find his headache had now cleared.

~o~