Warnings: implications of mPreg,
Pairing: JoshNeku
Disclaimer: These conversations and such are majority from rage comics, memebase, failblog and other addicting sites.
Author's Comment: Hope you enjoy, this is mostly just crack. You can see all the conversations in my album on facebook, titled "If Joshua & Neku had a kid". Also, thank Tysonkaiexperiment for encouraging me to write this, being an awesome muse for me. I don't know how you'd get any of my fics updated without her. Also, if you aren't aware, Tke and I are co-writing a fic called "Flying on the Wings of Shibuya", its an American Magee's AlicexWEWY fic and we'd love to hear people's thoughts on it. Thank you!
90. Triangle
Less than a year…
When Sanae Hanekoma decided to enter the Dead God's Pad, he had to turn around, leave, and walk back in, just because he didn't believe what he was seeing. Over the years, Neku had grown up, matured, become more adult like despite his constant communication with Shibuyan Composer Yoshiya. Because Neku aged, Yoshiya was 'kind' and decided to age in appearance with him, only after much prodding by his Proxy.
But when Neku had somehow become pregnant with J's kid, Sanae took a step back. He knew the Higher Ups wouldn't be pleased with the romantic relationship between Composer and Conductor/Former-Proxy and he wanted nothing to do with any issues that would come up. It was at that point, after Neku gave birth to little Tsubaki, a tiny premature baby girl with Neku's bright blue eyes and Joshua's ash colored hair, that Yoshiya approached the Higher Ups, asking for permission to keep his family as long as he promised no more occurrences of the Three Week Game or unnecessary death causing. The Angels agreed, and Yoshiya got to have his daughter and 'wifey'.
It was five months later, and Sanae never thought he would have seen what he was just seeing. Mama Neku (as the Reapers and Yoshiya had nicknamed him) was standing there, hip cocked to the side as his little girl was already attempting to stand, to pull herself up and climb up his leg. Sanae briefly wondered if that was normal for a human child, but a child of J and Neku was bound to be an anomaly (and that was just ignoring the male pregnancy bit). Neku's bright eyes seemed to glare at Joshua, unblinking, burning a hole through him, and the Composer fidgeted.
"But why?" J almost whined, a hand immediately going up to play with his hair (a sign of sexual frustration if Uzuki was correct when she informed him of that tidbit, but that was never anything he wanted to know about J's sex life). "You can take Tsubaki with you! She loves leaving the Pad."
"No," Neku's voice was flat and hard, his glare dropping when Tsubaki fell down harder than before, quickly scooping the girl up and checking her over for injuries before letting her continue. "Tsubaki's still too young to be safe from all the bacteria out there. She is behind on her shots and we need to get that done before we take her out in public." He rolled his eyes as if thinking Yoshiya was an idiot (which, from what Sanae had heard when Neku needed to rant, wouldn't be a first time). "I need you just to watch over her for today. Five hours. That's it. Request the help from a Reaper if you must, I just need to go out and get supplies."
"The Reapers can go get supplies," J's gaze was now focused on little Tsubaki, the ashy haired girl staring up at her Mama with wide eyes, arms outstretched, wanting to be picked up. "You know she adores you, she'll just cry the whole time you're gone."
Neku's eyes narrowed, the air in the Pad crackled, and Sanae wondered if he was going to get caught in the crossfire of a pissed off former Proxy. "I won't always be able to watch her. Take some responsibility, dammit Josh!" He crossed his arms, his glare faltering when Tsubaki let out a whining sound. "No baby, Mama's putting Papa in his place." And it appeared to be succeeding. Reluctantly Yoshiya stepped up and picked Tsubaki up, placing her on his hip as he scowled.
"Papa's not happy."
Neku grinned, "Doesn't matter, because Mama's pleased." He practically bounced over to his daughter, kissing her on her forehead before kissing Yoshiya on the cheek. "Be good, you have my number. Gotta meet up with Shiki." Yoshiya's mouth dropped open.
"You're meeting with Shiki!" He sputtered, having lost all elegance in his actions when Sanae got to see the tender moment of J's first time getting to hold his daughter (the mask he wore around everyone but his family had dropped, thus making Neku the main director of the Reapers). "Why?"
"Need supplies, she needs supplies for Eri's latest design," Neku shrugged, twirling some keys in his hands. "Seemed to work out." Neku shot Sanae a grin, waving a quick 'bye' to his daughter and disappearing out of the Pad. Yoshiya stared after him, dumbfounded.
"He just played me…"
Sanae shrugged, "Maybe you can use the experience to bond with your daughter. You know, so she doesn't grow up thinking you don't love her or something."
Yoshiya glanced down at her, the bright blue eyes staring up at him unblinking, much like her 'mother's' unnerving stare. "Hey, Tsubaki." She tilted her head. "Hey, darling." She blinked. Yoshiya's mouth twisted as he began to think. "Hey baby girl," he shakes his head, "no, doesn't sound right."
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to give her a nickname. That means love, yes?"
Sanae wanted to facepalm. How Neku and Yoshiya had become romantically involved was completely beyond everyone. No one knew they were even together until Neku had a panic attack and announced it to the Reapers that he was preggers and he had no idea if dead people were supposed to be able to have kids (THAT was a fiasco he hated having to clean up). "J, go take her to the park; do… do fatherly things with her."
Yoshiya nodded slowly. "Okay, to the park." He shifted his clothes into something more human and less angelic robes before grabbing the bag Neku always kept at hand, always stocked with anything he could need while out and about with Tsubaki.
Against his better judgment, Sanae let him go with her by himself. If it was really bad enough, as a Composer, J could easily fix it by modifying Shibuya's score; Neku would eventually sense the shift in music, but then there would be no physical evidence of anything happening. The man who loved coffee beans shrugged and went about his business in the Dead God's Pad.
Yoshiya appeared home a couple hours later, his hair all mussed, looking completely exhausted. Tsubaki was sleeping on his shoulder, completely exhausted herself. The Composer had enough time to place her in her crib, put down the bag full of supplies and collapse on the couch before Neku came back home, looking as wide awake and pleased as he had been when he left. He took in the sight of the collapsed Joshua and his sleeping daughter, shook his head, kissed them both on the forehead and went to take the bed.
In the morning, Neku listened amused to Yoshiya's rant on Tsubaki's energetic behavior. Almost finished with feeding her, Neku finally bothered tuning into the rant. "At the park she tried to get to the bushes with bees, she was tripping on the concrete! During a bath she tried to drink soap and shampoo, and stand up, even though she knows quite well she'll slip and fall. When I fed her she tried to jump from the highchair and was putting anything not edible into her mouth!" Yoshiya flailed an arm about, trying to convey his frustration, the other hand holding his cup of coffee calmly.
"Did you even give her a bath?" Neku questioned, playfully smelling Tsubaki, sniffing all over her neck and shoulders, tickling her with his slightly longer hair.
Yoshiya blinked. "That's not the point." He placed the coffee on the table, before wildly flailing. "I kept asking the princess, 'why are you trying to kill yourself? Do you not want to be Queen of Shibuya?'"
Neku sighed. "You're calling her Princess?"
"I liked it better than any of the other pet names I could have given her."
The Conductor snorted.
At age ten…
The night Neku finally had enough with playing the little wife, (cooking, cleaning, all stereotyped as woman duties, which was totally sexist in his mind because they were all good life skills to have), Yoshiya and the little Princess were forced to clean dishes while Neku relaxed on the large bed, undoubtedly asleep within minutes.
Yoshiya was instructing her on the way to clean certain objects, telling her to be careful when cleaning the large knife used to cut the chicken. "Now remember, princess, when you drop a knife, you have to get away, because you know it's going to put a hole right through your foot. You don't want to end up like your mom."
Her eyes widened, staring at her Papa in shock. "What? She did that?" She almost ran to her mother, wanting to ask her all about it, why she dropped the knife, why didn't she move? All those questions were running through her head.
Yoshiya tugged her back to the dishes, handing her the sponge she dropped in shock. "No, you just don't want to end up like your mom."
At age twelve…
Tsubaki yawned, stretching her arms high above her head before almost slumping against the wall. It was lunch time and she was waiting patiently for her friend's appearance before eating. It had been a trying day in class, and she just wanted to sit and relax with her friends for a little while. Glancing at the clock, spotting almost half the designated time had passed; she gave up and began eating from the bento her Mama made her.
Neku had taken to wearing more effeminate clothing, allowing his spiky hair to fall around his face, and as such Tsubaki was able to introduce Neku and Yoshiya as Mama and Papa to her friends if she wished. Neku even showed up at Parent Teacher conferences, appearing as effeminate as possible, trying to make his daughter have an easier life with her friends and peers.
Her cell beeped, and she scurried to pull it out of her bag. It was a message from her mother, and she opened it curiously.
-I don't know how to start… I hate you. I've never loved you. I want you to leave, tonight. Don't tell anyone, just pack your bags and go, and don't come back!—
Tsubaki choked on her food, quickly replying. –WHAT? What did I do? Please let me stay!- this came out of nowhere, what did she do that dearest mama would throw her out? Tsubaki was a Mama's girl, and totally hero worshiped the man that survived three weeks of the Game, married her Papa and proceeded to give birth to her. And now… She completely forgot about her food, focusing on the message that came in reply.
- No, my decision is made, goodbye-
Tsubaki typed her response faster than she ever typed anything before. – MOM, WHAT THE HELL, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED OT GO :'( -
There was a pause of five minutes, where Tsubaki seemed to forget to even breathe, eyes wide, glowing with her worry as she stared at her phone screen in anticipation.
- Oh shit honey, sorry, I meant to send that to your father –
Tsubaki found herself slumping over in relief, just pleased her mother didn't mean to send them to her. It was a miscommunication error of a grand scale. But… She typed her response, scowling as the bell signaled the end of lunch. – WHAT! What did dad do? MOM! –
At age fourteen…
Tsubaki sat on the large leather couch, hunched over as she worked busily to finish her homework, trying to be done before the weekend. She always liked to finish her work as fast as possible, in order to free up more time for studying music or shopping with her friends. Neku stood in the area that was once a bar, which had been renovated into a kitchen with a breakfast nook, humming Shibuya's song under his breath. Her homework was to do a report on her family, her parents' opinions and such, and Neku was doing his best to answer with what he knew, telling her mostly, "Go ask your Papa."
At the question "does your mother think you take after your father", Neku paused. "Other than your hair, you look like a female me… so appearance wise no."
Her phone beeped, and she checked the message, leaving her mother to go back to work in the kitchen (a job her parents alternated every week). It was from Tamotsu, telling her the first stop on their weekend shopping trip was going to be Lapin Angelique. She squealed, typed her reply in all caps and proceeded to dance about the room, singing that she was going to Lapin Angelique. As a Princess, as her Papa called her, needed the most flow-y, lacy, ruffle-y, epic dresses ever, and she was basically encouraged to shop there from the age of five on.
Neku shook his head, rolling his eyes at his daughter. "You know, you do take after your papa." Tsubaki stopped dancing, peering at her Mama curiously. "But it's all the bad stuff. Quit it."
At age sixteen…
Tsubaki waved a goodbye to Tamotsu, telling him to say hi to Aunt Shiki for her before stepping inside her home. She dropped her bag by the door, sighing happily as she finds the stash of cookies in the kitchen, grabbing one to take with her to her room. Her Mama and Papa were in the living room, paperwork for the Game strewn about them, Neku's hair pulled into a ponytail on the top of his head, Yoshiya's hands fiddling with a hair band as he read over page after page.
She walked back and grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. "I'm home," she greeted finally, offering her two parents a bright grin. Neku offered her one in return, looking tired, eyes slightly red from the reading of fine print.
"Welcome home, do you have homework?" She nodded.
Yoshiya cleared his throat. "Go do it, you're cock-blocking me."
The wifey and his daughter stared at him, their faces betraying that feeling of "really? You really just said that?" before Tsubaki trudged to her room, dutifully closing her door behind her, just in case her papa really was trying to initiate something.
At age eighteen…
The daughter of Shibuya's Composer and Conductor stared at her parents over the dinner table. Neku was all dressed up, ready to escort his daughter to her new home in another ward of Tokyo, glancing up occasionally at her to make sure she was alright before lowering his gaze to his food and sniffing, trying to hide the tears growing in his eyes. Yoshiya continued to eat his meal like nothing was different, that his eighteen year old daughter wasn't moving out of Shibuya, where he could watch out for her, save her if anything was to go wrong.
She swallowed, pushing her plate away. Neku glanced up worriedly, "Are you alright? You've barely touched your curry tonight."
She smiled slightly, "I'm alright, Mama, I'm just…." She cleared her throat, sitting upright, prim and proper like 'a true princess', not missing the smile from her Papa at that thought. "I want you to know that I'm not leaving because I hate you or anything. I need to explore the world, get to broaden my horizons, you know?"
Neku and Yoshiya shared a look, Neku's worried face softening into a smile as he picked up the empty plates and pushed hers back towards her. "Eat, or you won't be able to eat."
"Princess, listen," Yoshiya adapted the tone he always got when he had to be Mister-Evil-Death-God-Composer-Man, "your mama and I will always support you. You need it, if we can do it, it's done." He scowled slightly, muttering something about how it wasn't right that Tamotsu and his daughter were moving in together (a fact that still ticked him off, even after reading Tamotsu's innermost thoughts and finding the boy had nothing but brotherly affection for her). "Unless they find a dead hooker in your car with her blood on your hands. Well, we'll still support you, because let's face it, the bitch probably had it coming."
With an exasperated smile, Tsubaki hugged her father tightly across the table, murmuring 'love you' into his collar. He patted her on the back before pulling away. "Mush tomorrow, now eat your dinner. Mama slaved over that stove for hours."