Before I begin, I'd like to say thanks to StoriesAreMagic: Thanks! If you didn't get my PM, I said... I think you can work out what is true or not. But if you can't I'm going to tie them up at the end.

Okay, this one will be the third to last story from Edith before a large advancement happens...

And this one is the longest I have written so far, I draw things back to the film, and things get serious.

Chapter 4: Pea-shooter

Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.

Recap...

After telling a... pretty small lie about her first invention, Edith now goes into new territory for lying; her first big villainous act. Target: Nissan. Item: GTR Black Edition '12 Prototype. Help from: Gru and minions. And lots of laughs from Nefario's stupidity.

"Okay, Dad, but promise me I can keep it."

Dad keeps telling me that me and him are going to steal something. A car. I am only 9! Why would I want to steal a car, not be able to use it, and then still give it away? I could have some use to a one-of-a-kind car in the future – maybe make it into a stunt machine... maybe – but not now.

Dad scratches his chin as he walks into the kitchen. 8:00 am. Breakfast time. I sit down, waiting for my dead guy shaped pancake. The house hadn't changed much yet; it still has all the features I saw when I first set foot in the house. It does have some new photos and other items me and my sisters think are normal.

But how could we know all that? Me and Agnes have been orphans for as long as we can remember, and Margo swears she only remembers our old car. Poop... inner turmoil again. Focus! First mission with Dad. I can't let Margo's be a success and mine a failure!

Anyway, Margo and Agnes walk in, dressed in their ballet gear. I – on the other hand – am dressed in a stealth suit, like one I saw in a game once. Battlefield 3? Something like that. They laugh at me, but when they turn their backs to ask Dad about when they were going, I stick my tongue out. Old times... good times. But not as good as the times now.

"Yes girls... in about half an hour. Pancakes are nearly done... no, Agnes, Nefario is taking you... yes Margo, I'll pick you up..." Dad flips a pancake high into the air, spins, and then catches it in the pan. He then lobs it at my plate, which I am holding above my head with a smile on my face. It lands, and he turns to Margo and Agnes again, "What shape do you two want?"

Margo does her thinking act again, one foot in front of the other, looking up, but this time only briefly, "Butterfly."

"Unicorn!" Agnes screams without hesitation.

I sigh. Will she ever grow out of unicorns? Then again, will I ever grow out of carnage? I hope not. BOOM! BANG! STUNTS! JUMPING! My life! Woohoo! Can it get any better than having a villain for a Dad whilst liking everything I just thought of in my mind? Whoa, I really am smarter than I look. I think...

Margo clicks her fingers in front of me, "Edith, snap out of it!"

I blink a few times, "It's okay, sis. Just thinking ahead," I say, lying.

"Will you keep the car?" asks Agnes through a mouthful of pancake, "Because if you don't, I'll get Dad to make it unicorn-style."

Keep dreaming, sis, "Dad hasn't answered yet. Can I Dad? It'll be so cool owning a car at 9 years old!"

He turns to the table, handing me a juice carton when he gets there, "I suppose so. But you must promise not to drive it until we get you a villain license."

I put my little finger forward, and he grips it with his, "I promise, Dad." We all finish our breakfast in silence, and then Nefario arrives in a ballet suit.

Dad does a face palm! "Nefario... you are taking them to dance class. You aren't actually going to dance. Why, why are you so old?" We all laugh, but Nefario just scratches his really bald head. It is brighter than the sun!

"Oh... uh... I was actually wondering why... under what circumstances... would I have to do dance class with them?"

"None," I butt in, like usual, "But I can't stop laughing!" I begin drinking from my juice.

Without warning, Nefario fires his Box-Puncher 2000 at my juice. It pokes a hole in it. I look at him, pouting, "You poked a hole in my juice box!"

"It is for your own good, girl," he looks back at Dad – who realises it is a repeat of my first day with him, and looks down for a moment – so I begin to move towards Nefario, "Now, Gru, we... uh... have a minion situation – " I kick him in the shin, and he shouts whilst gripping it, "Again? Really?"

I giggle under my breath, "Yeah."

Dad laughs, and then gets up, "That's my girl. It can wait, Nefario," turns to us, "Time to go!"

We move out of the kitchen, just talking about anything. Dad has hired a car for Nefario, and I jump into the back seats of the MLP tank car. It still makes me laugh, but I accept him as a Dad now, so I try to respect him a little more.

Even Margo accepts him.

Dad climbs up to his seat, and pushes the thingie to activate flying mode. I love flying.

"Edith," he says, turning his head slightly, "Ready?"

"More than ever, Dad," I say, looking into what some call 'space', when really it is just a wall, "Can't you just hyperfly out of here?"

Dad's face looks as if he wasn't considering what I said. A devilish grin forms on his face, and before I can say, "Whoa!" we are in Japan, the location of Nissan's HQ. The city now below is admirable. Skyscrapers everywhere, with tons of traffic below us, beeping their horns. But nothing beats the thrill of inventing. I just hope stealing matches up to that.

It will. Dad said so. And I trust him as much as Margo or Agnes.

"Nefario!" Dad shouts.

"Yes, Gru? The girls are giving me some trouble, and – "

"We are in sight of the target now. Is the plan ready?" Dad didn't give Uncle Nefario any time to finish, "Come on. Speak!"

"Oh... uh... yes. Transmitting now," I hear a loud bleep whilst Uncle says, "It should be simple. But... these girls of yours aren't!"

Dad laughs. He loves us now, and I am all the more happy for it. We have a Dad. "I got used to it. You should, too. I might make you do this more often," he looks back at me, grinning. I start to grin now, "Okay. We will be off the comm now for an hour or so."

He closes the link, and we fly without trouble. But then...

BOOM! CLATTER! TINKLE!

I get pushed around the ship, my constant stream of falls being broken by the My Little Pony items. They are hard though, but not as hard as the floor. I look up, and see Dad struggling at the controls, and I feel distant. That quickly turns into anger, though, and I have this sudden rage to kick and punch and kick and bite everything I see. "What is happening?"

Still struggling at the controls, Dad replies, "The ship didn't register a building on the scanner. We have gone clean through the top floor!"

What? "What do you mean, it didn't register?" The ship begins to go down, but it seems no-one can see us. Invisibility, probably. I still don't know everything on the ship.

"I don't know!" Dad is still struggling with the controls. Three... two... one... I brace myself for impact. "Oh, boy..."

Darkness.

Present day

"Wait... you crashed into a building. Was it the VC of Japan by any chance?" Henry – the man at the table – asks.

I look down and sigh, "Yeah, it was. Can I continue, please?"

One of the older ones look up, "You aren't dead?"

"How can I be dead 11 years ago if I am here right now?" I say, drumming my fingers on the table in frustration, "I don't always lie. Anyway, so we crash. Guess where? At the target. We begin to break in, but someone finds us. We steal the car fine, I guess, but Dad radios Nefario... I need to know when you'll arrive. He says ten minutes... we'll be there in ten minutes..."

11 years ago

"Edith, cut into that there. Paul, keep transmitting the signal."

Paul – a minion – makes a noise I can't fully understand. I think he said, "Yes, boss," but I'm not sure.

I begin to cut my way through the steel. Dad had done a great improvisation with this new invention: A few battery's, a chainsaw, his freeze ray, one rubber band and a lot of tweaks later, he had created an amazing cutter in five minutes – under stress. I would say loudly that he had done great, but it has taken us ages to get into the vents.

"Yes, Dad," the laughter and wisecracks have stopped. This is for real, "Almost done..."

I finish the massive circle I had to cut, and I prod it with my little finger. It falls like it wasn't even there. I let out a small laugh of victory. I climb through to see a spotlight shining in my eyes.

"Paul, Edith, get in here!" Dad shouts from the car we stole.

The light moves away, and I see it is a police helicopter armed with a pea-shooter. No, really, an actual pea-shooter. Not a weak gun. But it is scary to have a million peas land around you when you are nine years old. I run to the car and see Dad gripping the wheel with Paul shivering in a back seat. I dive into the other front seat, my beanie nearly falling off – I am wearing it with the spy gear! – and click my belt on. Dad drives away as soon as I straighten up.

This is going to be a chase, I know it.

But the adrenaline is amazing! I love stealing more than stunts and splashing in puddles! And even mud pies!

The helicopter continues to fire peas at us, whilst Dad hands me a radio, "Call Nefario!"

I do, "Uncle Nefario! Where the heck are you?"

"Behind the helicopter. I admire a country who uses peas in guns. I might make something like that one day – "

I cut him short, getting angry with his constant rambling, "Get here!"

Dad drives more and more violently, but the car still handles perfectly. Nissan have outdone themselves. As we approach a banked-corner – Margo told me it means a corner which makes the car 'incline' what does that mean towards the inner part of the turn – a bigger version of Dad's car descends in front of us. The back opens to reveal a large cargo space.

"Gru, get in here!"

"Keep steady!"

"Dad, you can do it!"

"Come on, Dad!"

"Ten metres, Gru!"

Dad accelerates and I hear a gentle tap noise. I then hear a mechanism engage, and darkness falls upon us. Relief fills me.

I turn my head slowly to Dad, and we say at the same time, "We did it!"

Present day

"I believe this one a little more."

I hold my hands up in mock helplessness, "I would never lie to you, sir," I hiss, "Why does everyone think I lie? I don't!"

Someone gets up and walks towards me, "So, then, you were nine during that story. What happened when you were twelve?"

I look up in confusion, re-adjusting my pink hat so it sits over my eyes slightly, "Twelve?"

The man scratches his long beard, "Twelve is the age where you are placed into villain school... usually. Did this happen?"

The memories come back to me, "Oh yes! That was fun." I think of a good story to mess with. When I nearly destroyed the building... when I mutated a hen... when I skateboarded on the roofs... oh, yeah! "Once, I decided to get revenge on a really horrible teacher..."