Chapter 5

Remember Me Kindly

Though he had no real reason, Harry stayed at his home a few more days. He wondered why nobody had come by to visit him by the second day, until he realized that only Remus had been given the new address by the secret keeper, and by the nature of the spell, Remus was not able to give the address out to anyone else. In a very real sense, Harry and Dobby were all alone in the world.

A few housekeeping matters needed attention, as Dobby had taken complete charge of No. 17 Grimmauld Place, and from time to time he would pester Harry with questions about various changes the elf wished to make to the mansion. Of course, like most teenage boys, Harry did not have the least bit of interest in where to place the furniture, or whether to change certain window coverings. Despite these interruptions, Harry managed to consider and reconsider all that he had learned over the past several days. He was anxious to start, to check on the museum artifact, to have time to discuss all of this with Hermione and Ron and to develop a plan with them, but Harry could not bring himself to go to the Burrow just yet.

Remus flooed over late in the afternoon of the second day to make sure that Harry was fine. They worried about him, Remus explained, and wanted to make sure he was all right. After assuring Remus that he was just resting and thinking, Remus told him he would let the others know. More importantly, Harry promised that he would floo to the Burrow in two days, right after breakfast. Now obligated, he could put it off no longer.

Dobby's enslavement posed a special concern. As Harry understood it, upon his death, Dobby would be distributed as a part of his estate to whomever were his heirs. He had no idea who that might be, but it was imperative that he take steps to ensure Dobby's freedom in the event of Harry's probable death. Thus he found some parchment and a quill and sat down in his bedroom to write his will.

Last Will and Testament of Harry James Potter

I, Harry James Potter, of sound mind, hereby write my last will and testament.

After I die, I name my good friend, Hermione Granger, to be the executor of my estate, or if she cannot do it for any reason, then my good friend, Ronald Weasley, or if he cannot do it either, then my good friend, Remus Lupin.

I own two house elves, whose names are Kreacher and Dobby. Although I wish I could free both of them, I cannot free Kreacher for various reasons. Therefore, I give Kreacher to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to be a part of the house elf staff there.

For reasons known to Dobby and me, Dobby agreed to become my house elf, as a slave not an employee; however, I do not nor ever have considered Dobby to belong to me or to be a slave. Dobby is a good and trusted friend. Therefore, I hereby free Dobby from his enslavement, and my executor shall give him a piece of my clothing to ensure his freedom. I also give Dobby the sum of 1,000 galleons.

As I do not consider my aunt and uncle and cousin to be relatives, I do not leave any of my money or property to any of them. Instead I want to leave all of my money and property to the people who have loved me and whom I have loved, as follows:

1. I give my Firebolt broom and all of my quidditch equipment to my good friend, Ronald Weasley.

2. I give all of my books, including the library of my house, to my good friend, Hermione Granger.

3. I give my pensieve (which I inherited from Professor Dumbledore) and my invisibility cloak (which belonged to my father) to my good friend, Ginevra Weasley.

4. I give all of my clothing and the sum of 20,000 galleons to my trusted advisor and the last remaining friend of my father, Remus Lupin.

5. I give the sum of 20,000 galleons to Arthur and Molly Weasley, who are the closest people to parents that I have ever known, and who have treated me like a son.

6. I give everything else I own, including my house at No. 17 Grimmauld Place, London, to my best friends, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Ginevra Weasley, equally, or to whomever of them is living, for them to do with as they see fit.

If I have failed to defeat Lord Voldemort, I apologize to the whole magical world and can only say that I tried my best. To my friends, I thank you for the moments of happiness you brought into my life, and I wish you a life of love and happiness.

Remember me kindly,

Harry James Potter

After reading over the will several times, Harry folded it carefully, placed it inside an envelope which he sealed, and then wrote on the envelope, "Last Will and Testament of Harry James Potter." He imagined what his friends would feel when they read the will after his death, but he soon decided to move his thoughts to other, less emotionally debilitating matters. He placed the will at the bottom of his trunk and later told Dobby where it could be found and what to do in the event of Harry's death. The house elf held back tears but nodded in understanding.

When Harry finally stumbled out of the fireplace at the Burrow two days before his birthday, he was surprised to hear no activity. Generally the Burrow was a bustling place, people coming and going, Mrs. Weasley yelling directions, reprimands or just plain yelling.

At first, Harry thought that the house must be deserted, but when he stepped towards the stairs to take his belongings upstairs to Ron's room, he heard a voice from the kitchen, "Harry, is that you?"

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley, I've just arrived. Where is everybody?" Harry responded loudly from the living room. Mrs. Weasley rushed into the room and gave Harry a hug for the ages, which lasted longer than any hug Harry had ever experienced.

"Thank Merlin, you're OK. We were worried about you when nobody could go to your house, but Remus explained. I'm so glad you are here now."

"I'm glad too, Mrs. Weasley," said Harry genuinely, and then restated his previous question, "Where is everybody?"

"Making preparations for the wedding," explained Mrs. Weasley after releasing Harry, "We've decided that the wedding can't be here, it's just too dangerous, and really I think Fleur doesn't want it here anyway. They'll be back in a couple of hours." Mrs. Weasley looked kindly at the young wizard and then motioned towards the sofa, "Sit down, Harry, I wanted a chance to talk with you anyway. Alone."

"Oh no!" Harry thought, she's going to talk about Ginny, and he had no idea what he should say. He had not considered this possibility at all, though now that he thought about it, he should have. There was nothing to do but to take a seat and wing it. Mrs. Weasley sat down as well in the cluttered, comfortable but worn living room and seemed to be considering her words.

"I know that Ginny and you were going together during school, that type of news tends to get around quickly, you know. Ginny has been quite depressed since she returned from Hogwarts and hasn't wanted to tell me about it. When I ask her, she just says that the two of you broke up and that she'll get over it, that she just needs some time. I'd just like to know what happened, Harry, and what your intentions are towards Ginny."

Rarely had Harry ever felt more uncomfortable than he felt at that moment, and he hoped against hope that the fireplace would begin sparking and that someone would emerge from the floo to interrupt this conversation. Silence. Harry decided that he needed to respond and instinctively knew that the best path to follow was the truth.

"It's true, we were together for a month or two, and it was really nice. I like Ginny a lot and I think that she likes me too. But I had to break it off after Professor Dumbledore died," Harry explained, struggling to find the right words to say enough but not too much, "My life will be very complicated now, and dangerous, and I just can't have Ginny being exposed to that. It's hard to explain, Mrs. Weasley."

But Mrs. Weasley seemed to understand perfectly.

"It's not my intention to interfere, Harry, and I don't want you to think that I want you with Ginny or not. That has to be between the two of you. But I do want you to know that I will not prevent you from going with her if that is what you want." Mrs. Weasley stopped, and Harry felt that he should say something but could not think of what. Fortunately Mrs. Weasley continued, "I know that you face danger, Harry. I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and though I do not know what it is that you have to do, Professor Dumbledore made clear to us that it is of greatest importance, and will be dangerous. To be honest, Harry, I wish I could keep Ginny and all of my children away from danger, but I know that I can't. What I'm trying to say, Harry, is that I will not stand in your way, no matter what you decide to do."

Harry could see that Mrs. Weasley felt almost as nervous as he. She clearly had been thinking about this intensely, and what she said and what she felt were not necessarily one and the same. The mother was extremely worried about her only daughter, and it had to be difficult for her to give her blessing to a relationship that would put that daughter into great peril.

Harry chose his words carefully as he responded, "Thank you Mrs. Weasley, that means a lot to me. Right now I don't think it's a good idea for us to be together like that. I have a lot on my mind, and it would just be too much for me. Once I have done what I have to do, then maybe things can be different." Harry meant every word he said, but he wondered what he would feel when he finally saw Ginny again. They had been apart only a month, but it seemed like ages since he had last seen her face.

Unavoidably, Mrs. Weasley's eyes relaxed and despite herself she showed her pleasure that Ginny would not be sucked into whatever it was that Harry had to do.

"If that's what you want," she said, "then that is fine by me. Just be careful. None of us wants to lose you."

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Diving from hundreds of feet, Harry pointed his Firebolt at a sixty degree angle towards the ground, pulling up some twenty feet above the long grass behind the Burrow. Since the others would not be back until later, Harry had the itch to be back in the air. He was trying his best to remain calm, to conquer his nerves, but knowing that Ginny would be arriving any time was almost more than he could take. Would she be mad at him? She had an explosive temper, Harry knew, and he really did not desire to be on the receiving end of it. Even worse, would she want Harry to get back together with her? Would Harry be able to resist that temptation as he repeatedly convinced himself he must? Maybe he should just go back to Grimmauld Place and avoid the whole affair.

From on high, Harry could note movement inside the house, and soon Ron emerged with his broom in hand, kicking off the ground to join Harry. They bumped fists in greeting and both smiled broadly.

"Brilliant idea, Harry, I haven't flown at all this summer, what with everything going on," Ron explained as he zig zagged through the air. The two of them frolicked high above the ground like a couple of carefree teenagers for several minutes before slowing down.

"Is she down there?" asked Harry, the worry returning to his face, "Is she coming out?"

"She's there," replied Ron simply, "but I don't think she's coming out."

"How is she, Ron? Is she mad at me?"

"Oh, she's mad at you, that's for sure. But don't worry too much, I don't think she's going to hex you or anything," Ron opined in a reassuring voice. Harry did not feel reassured.

"Do you think I can just fly up here for the next couple of years? Maybe you could bring me some food now and then."

"Come on, Harry, you can't avoid her forever," argued Ron reasonably, "You may as well get it over with."

"Right," agreed Harry, "in a few minutes. When is Hermione coming?"

"She's supposed to arrive tomorrow night and will be here until sometime after the wedding," Ron replied, wondering why Harry asked about Hermione so quickly.

"Good, we have a lot to talk about. I've found out a lot, and I may know where one of the horcruxes is." Harry had lowered his voice, and Ron and he were no longer flying but merely floating about two hundred feet above the ground. "But I don't want to talk about it until all three of us are together."

With that ominous statement, Harry tipped his Firebolt down and returned to the surface, prepared to meet his fate. Ginny had not come outside or made any effort to greet her former boyfriend, contributing to his lack of optimism.

She stood in the kitchen with her mother when Harry walked through the side door. Harry thought that seeing her would affect him as if she were a veela, but reality was much more mundane.

Ginny saw him, smiled a thin smile, and simply said, "Hi Harry."

Harry returned the greeting and they briefly hugged. Confusion was all Harry felt. He had no idea what he was feeling, what he should be feeling, what Ginny was feeling. Obviously they needed to talk, but all the points he had prepared for their inevitable meeting somehow erased themselves from his head. Fortunately no opportunity to be alone with her presented itself that evening, as the Burrow was full of noise and chaos, just what Harry loved about the place.

The twins, Fred and George, came by to say hello to Harry and stayed for dinner and beyond. They brought with them two shapely young witches whose names escaped Harry. Unfortunately they were quite taken by Harry (and his fame) and gave him a lot of, shall we say, attention. Harry stole glances at Ginny from time to time to see if she had any reaction to the flirtatious duo, but if she did, she did not reveal it. Of greater concern was the reaction of Fred and George to the actions of their current girlfriends, but the twins seemed to be enjoying Harry's discomfort immensely. Bill, Fleur, Mr. Weasley and others all arrived, and by the time Harry and Ron headed upstairs to their beds, there had been no time to talk to Ginny.

This was not at all how Harry envisioned their meeting. They were going to meet all alone, embrace desperately, cry copiously, and dramatically agree that they would have to remain apart until Harry heroically defeated Voldemort and saved the world. That was stupid, of course, and Harry knew it, but his nerves as he slipped into his bed were more on edge than ever. When would he be able to talk to her? The next few days figured to be busy around the Burrow, and Harry began to wonder whether he would be able to talk to her at all. Sleep came with difficulty that night.

Fortunately for Harry, the last day before his seventeenth birthday afforded him the opportunity he desired. To his surprise, the day turned out to be not especially busy, at least in the morning, and once Mr. Weasley left after breakfast and Mrs. Weasley occupied herself with who knows what, Harry, Ron and Ginny were left alone. Normally Ron would have been oblivious to the situation, but this time he knew that he needed to scram, and he muttered an excuse as he left the living room.

Ginny appeared to be in a decent mood, Harry thought; at least she had displayed no overt signs of hostility towards him. They looked at each other, now finally alone. Or almost alone, as Mrs. Weasley worked in the kitchen, so Harry decided the first order of business should be to eliminate that problem.

"Want to take a walk?" he asked. She nodded.

They walked across the unkempt lawn behind the Burrow, and when Harry figured they travelled far enough away he asked her, "How have you been doing?" Not the greatest line, admittedly, but he had to start somewhere.

"Oh, that's hard to say, I guess. This has not been a very fun summer, if that's what you mean," Ginny responded thoughtfully, "Dumbledore dying, then you and me, then having to deal with Phlegm all the time. I've been better to be honest."

Could be better, could be worse, thought Harry, but now he was committed. After agreeing with her about the various difficulties of the summer, he finally got down to business.

"What do you think about the two of us?" he asked nervously, not really knowing what he wanted her to say, "I mean, not being together right now." He almost said "not being together anymore," but that sounded too permanent.

"Well, I'm not happy about it," replied Ginny evenly, though Harry knew there was a great deal of emotion behind that statement, "I just don't understand it more than anything, I mean, your reason for breaking up."

"What do you mean?" asked Harry, though he thought he knew well enough what she meant.

"Protecting me. You said you were doing it to protect me, but that just doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?" Ginny was becoming more upset now, and her previous even temper had obviously required a good deal of self control. "I mean, everybody knew about us at Hogwarts, including every death-eater-wannabe Slytherin. How does breaking up protect me? Do you really think that You Know Who doesn't know about us? Do you really think he cares if we break up?"

Harry expected this argument, more or less, and he was almost relieved that he had a response prepared.

"You're right, Ginny, and I know it. That wasn't really why I did it, although maybe I thought it was when I said it. The real reason is harder to explain, and I don't know how you'll take it."

This tack seemed to surprise Ginny, who expected Harry to attempt to justify his decision to protect her. The Harry she knew could be pig-headed about such things, and to hear him concede that argument so readily came as a bit of a shock. She said nothing as they walked along the edge of the forest, careful not to touch each other.

"There are a lot of things that I have to do now, Ginny, things that I can't talk about." Harry glanced at Ginny and could practically read her thoughts. "Yes it has to do with Voldemort, and it's going to be hard, really really hard," Harry said with his voice shaking. All these thoughts that had been bouncing around his mind for weeks were much harder to verbalize than he anticipated.

"Why can't you tell me about it?" asked Ginny, who then added sarcastically, "Aren't I trustworthy enough for you?"

Harry did not like the tone of her voice, but there was no turning back. "It's not that, Ginny, you know that. But this is not a game, this is a war, and in wars information has to be controlled completely. Only people who must know can be allowed to know, and you are not one of those people," Harry explained bluntly, but when seeing Ginny's face slowly redden, he quickly added, "Neither are your parents, or Remus, or hardly anyone. You know I was meeting with Dumbledore before he died for 'special lessons,' well, this is what we were heading for."

"Ron and Hermione know about it, don't they?" snapped Ginny, "Why can't you tell me too."

This was another argument that Harry had anticipated, but he knew that he did not have a convincing response.

"First of all, Ginny, they know some of it but not all. Second, they are of age and can do magic outside of Hogwarts. Third, there are some things they can help me with, but there are a lot of things that I have to do alone. I don't even want them to help, but I can't do it all on my own. It's just too much." Again Harry's voice trembled.

"Of course you can't do it all on your own, so why can't I help too?" asked Ginny, "I went with you to the Department of Mysteries; I've stood by you just like they have."

"Actually, Ginny, I know you won't like this, but I can use your help, because I will need someone I can completely trust inside of Hogwarts because I think Hogwarts may be important in what I ultimately have to do. I would like Hermione and Ron to be there, but I'll need help outside of Hogwarts too, and they're the only ones who can give it to me. I wish I could explain more, but . . ."

"OK Harry, I can accept that, but you still have not explained exactly what your reason was for breaking up, if it wasn't to protect me. I need to know. Please tell me whatever you can," implored Ginny, fighting back tears.

Harry paused, for he feared that Ginny would not respond well to this, but she was right. She needed to know, and she had the right to know.

"The real reason is that you would be a distraction. Right now I have to focus everything I have on what I have to do. It's going to be so hard, Ginny, I don't know if I can do it. And if I can't, that means it will all be over."

He paused to see if Ginny understood, and then continued, "If I fail, I'll be dead. And the whole wizarding world will go straight to hell!" The force Harry used to express this last statement was so distinct from the rest of their conversation, that Ginny was briefly frightened and could instinctively understand what Harry meant, and what he was going through, even if she did not know the details.

"Yes, Harry, I thought it was something like that. Look, I am not stupid, and I know that in wars, people have to make sacrifices. So my sacrifice will be to let you go. You are free and I am free. I will help you in any way I can, because defeating You Know Who is more important than our relationship," Ginny spoke clearly though tears were streaming from her eyes. "But understand, Harry, that I don't know if we can just take up where we left off before Dumbledore's funeral. It may not work that way. We may not feel the same about each other, or you might find someone else, or I might. You know what I mean, don't you?" sobbed Ginny, who found these words devastating to say. Her real fear, Harry knew, was that this may be the end, even if they did not want it to be. And Harry knew that she was right.

"I know what you mean," said Harry simply, and for the first time they touched, as Harry gently took her into his arms and embraced her. The conversation was over.