I have found a muse! For now at least, I'm writing like a maniac! Hope you don't mind? :)

Thanks for the kind words and reviews! They make me smile!

Not mine as you all know by now!

Stephanies POV

I sat on the bed looking once again at Bobby's parting back. I felt nauseous as I thought about having to face the guys, I was so thankful for Bobby agreeing to do this to me. It's not like I didn't care about them, it was because I cared too much for them and I knew it would kill them to see me like this. I knew that once they found out what had happened to me they would kill every man in the tri-state area and I didn't want to burden them with yet another kill for me. Ranger would hunt down the men and torture them in ways I could only imagine, and a part of me found that thought thrilling, a part of me wanted to do the torture myself. It killed me to know that I wasn't the only woman who they had put their hands on. I could remember them bragging about their kills and rapes to each other while one of them was doing the deed. I felt sick as I remembered the filthy hands on my shoulders, thighs and throat. A shiver went through me.

"Bomber?" I jumped at Bobby's careful word, ripped back into the real world and found myself blushing to being so startled.

"I'm fine, just stuck in thoughts…" I mumbled at him and stood up from the bed and straightened my shirt. "We good to go?"

"Yeah. Do you mind if I carry you?" Bobby answered to me after looking at me carefully, only noticing that I had gone back to the land of denial. I smiled a bit wider at his nervousness about carrying; I was notoriously bad when it came to being carried. I once smacked Lester so hard that I almost hurt myself, Lester of course denies that it hurt when I know for fact that it must have hurt.

"It's fine Bobby, I know that I can't walk to the infirmary." I said and Bobby took the few steps towards me and scooped me up and carried me to the living room bridal style. Lester was grinning at me beside the door, holding it open and bowing when we walked by. I couldn't help but to smile with him as I looked at him over Bobby's shoulder.

"Did you get a good punch Beautiful?" He asked and jogged around us and pushed the button for the elevator.

"I would never hurt Bobby" I answered and laughed at his puppy dog eyes and shivering lip. "Okay fine, I wouldn't hurt you either. Unless you piss me of, what was the case back then! You can't just grab a woman and expect that she's fine with it!"

I liked the normality the guys kept up for me. I liked that I didn't feel like a burden with my injuries, this was just like a normal day, except for the fact that Ranger used to carry me instead of Bobby. I felt Bobby's chest move as he laughed at Lester and I couldn't help but to feel the longing back to Rangers arms. But I was afraid, more afraid than I had never been before. The weird thing was that I couldn't figure out why I was so afraid, it was Ranger for god's sake!

I was jolted back to reality when the doors opened and we stepped out to the sixth floor lobby. The lobby was quite large square room with beige walls and four doors leading out of it. As we were in the middle of the building the lobby didn't have any windows, just art on the wall. Some calm landscapes that were painted by Hal, which I had learned a few months ago when I was here the last time. Four couches were placed in the middle of the room with a small coffee table full of magazines, the majority gun magazines and since I arrived the latest Cosmo was always there, in the middle. I had seen that many of the men read it too, always denying it. A soft cream rug was on the floor and the familiar smell of Ella's cooking lingered in the room. One of the doors led to Ella's and Luis' apartment, one to Bobby's office and the second to the infirmary. The remaining door lead to a small closet Bobby held his medical stuff in. Lester held the infirmary's door open for us and Bobby marched in.

I had been here so often that it was almost like a second home for me. The infirmary was large and open and light. The room was divided into three smaller rooms and the remaining space held three hospital beds with all the including monitoring devices. I could see that one of the beds was in use as the curtains were closed around it. I knew that Connie was in there sleeping and I tried not to make any noise. The walls were painted in baby blues, not the awful whites that gave me a migraine. The three rooms were to the side and the whole end wall had four large windows that illuminated most of the room. One of the rooms had an X-ray, the second an examination room and the third was the intensive care ward. On the other side of the room was a small door that leads to Bobby's office.

Bobby carried me to the examination room and put me down on the bed. Lester sat in the chair next to the bed and held my hand as Bobby put on some glove as and sat down on the chair in front of me and started to probe my foot. I didn't look at him but at Lester.

"Did you ask about my son?" I asked him and hoped that they had come to the conclusion that I was no threat to my son.

"Yeah, we thought that you could see him after Bobby's done fixing you up. We'll bring him here to see you; it's the easiest for all right now. You still think the same about seeing Ranger? The poor man's on the edge Beautiful." he said to me and squeezed my hand with a sad smile.

My heart grew when he said that I could see my son! I had missed him so much! But then he said that about Ranger and my heart sank. I didn't want to hurt him, but either way I did it would end up hurting him. If I didn't see him it would slowly kill him but if I saw him and didn't recognize him it would hurt him and kill me!

"Ehm, about that… I have something I want to ask you Bobby?"

He lifted his head and looked at me with eyes filled with curiosity and caring. I put his hand on my knee and nodded for me to continue. I felt nervous again and I wasn't sure if I could talk about his after all. I took my hand out of Lester's grasp and fidgeted with my fingers.

"Well… Is it normal to not remember people?" I whispered and looked down at my knees, not daring to look at Bobby or Lester.

"Yes it is honey, you might not remember everybody right away but the memories should come back after a while. Take for example Lester; you didn't recognize him until he triggered some memories in you. Don't worry!" he said and patted my knee. I didn't look up, trying to figure out how to tell the guys about Ranger.

"Ehm, how about when I can remember certain things about someone but can't remember how they look like?" I whispered and swallowed hard. I hoped that it was something that would go away with time.

"What do you mean Bomber?" Bobby asked and lifted my chin so that I was forced to look him in the eyes.

"It's Ranger. I can remember that he doesn't like desert and that he has a small scar on his shoulder blade. But I can't remember how he looks like and I don't want to see him, because if I don't recognize him it'll kill him and me too and then who will look after my angelito!" I was working myself into quite frenzy, not even noticing that I was standing and pacing and that Bobby was trying to get me to sit down.

"Bomber!" Bobby yelled and shook me by my shoulders. I was jerked back to reality and noticed that tears ran down my face. Bobby looked concerned and he and Lester guided me back to the bed. My hands were shaking and I was scared beyond my wits.

"Honey listen to me! All of this is normal; you just need to give it some time. It'll all get back to you, but you might want to think about why you don't remember him? Has he done something to upset you in any way before you went through this?"'

"No, I don't think so." I said and relaxed back to the bed. I was going to be okay, this was normal. I felt the burden disappear from my shoulders and it was easier to breathe. But Bobby's words rung in my head. Had Ranger done something to hurt me?

Pretty please? They give me the motivation to write!