HEY! It's been forever! I'm sorry for that (as I always am)!

It's kinda strange to write, as I haven written a Babe-sentence in a month! I don't know if I'll be posting anytime soon, I writting when my muse wants to. Hopefully you'll like it and leave me some comments!

I love you all and your reviews! They keep me coming back :)

It's really not mine

"Babe?" The leading man in black said to me and as suddenly as it began I realized that I almost shot Ranger and the core team. I gasped in shock and the gun flopped on the messy bed and bounced onto the soft carpet. Ranger slowly lowered his hands and signaled to Tank to get the gun. I felt something wet on my cheeks and realized that I was crying.

"I… I'm... I can't believe!" I gasped as my feet gave up underneath me and I rumbled into Ranger's waiting arms. I sobbed my disbelief into his chest, letting the pain pour out of my heart as I for the first time thought the painful hours over in my heart. I had never let these memories surface and the rest of the world disappeared as I cried into Ranger.

Oh those hands, I felt them on my skin. Those words, I could still hear them ringing in my head. The loathing, it still made me feel impure. The smell, made me still sick. The cries, the cries that made no difference, still shook my body. All the evil made my head pound. All the evil thoughts I thought under those hours I could still hear in my ears. All the bad were suffocating me from the inside and I felt dead, unable to feel anything else but fear and anger. Ranger was going to hate me now, I was a wreck, an empty shell of my former me. They succeeded in breaking me, just as they promised. I was ruined for everybody. I was dead.

My hands hurt from my death grip on Rangers shirt and I tried to release my fingers but couldn't make them move at all. The elephant was back on my chest and the sobs shook my body, making it jerk like I was being electrocuted. I felt Ranger's feeble attempts to calm me down, the Spanish words not registering in my head. The hand on my back only making my horror worse.

"Oh dear lord…" was the only coherent thing that came out of my mouth as I was having an out of body experience. I couldn't see and hear anymore I was just engulfed in these massive arms and by guilt. I was a lousy person, I nearly shot my friends and my love and I was a constant threat to my son. I was the danger in his life I was afraid of. I was a horrible mother and I couldn't help but to hear my own mothers voice in my ears ringing confirming my believes that I was an unfit mother. That I could never become more than Ranger's whore. He only wanted me for sex; there was nothing else that I could offer him.

I was shaken back to the reality by the massive arms wrapped around me only seconds ago.

"Now you'll stop that Babe." Ranger said to me raising his voice. He was angry and he stared at me. "You will stop hurting yourself like this! You are a perfect mother, and woman. You are the woman I fell in love with and still am in love with. You will become the mother of many more children of mine and I promise to love you until you die. You are not a whore Stephanie. You are the air I breathe."

I just looked into his brown eyes and saw the hurt, love and truth behind them. I felt the doubt leave me and finally I was able to move my fingers and end the death grip on his shirt. I smoothed the wrinkles, lowering my gaze but still could feel his eyes on me. I was overwhelmed by the sudden outburst of emotions and lowered my head on his chest. I was tired, my sleep rudely interrupted by the nightmare.

"I love you too Carlos." I whispered to his chest and his arms wrapped around me pulling me closer. I inhaled his sweet scent and felt calm and sane. The sweet moment of ours was interrupted by a cough from the door. I had forgotten that the guys were standing there.

"We'll leave you alone for a moment." Tank said and pulled a grinning Lester away from the door. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry." I sighed into Ranger's chest.

"Don't worry about it. You're not the first one to act out after nightmares. "He answered and sat down on the bed pulling me down on his lap. I snuggled closer and he rested his head on top of my head.

"Have you?" I whispered. I felt him chuckle.

"Yes, I have too. But I'm not the one with the juiciest story to tell."

"Then who is?" I asked, my curiosity taking over.

"Bobby and Lester have this story I know you'll love. Let's get you a pair of pants and let's go to the living room so you can ask them about that incident." Ranger was positively chuckling so I knew the story must be very good. I let Ranger get me some pants and after I pulled them on I hesitated whether I should take the gun with me.

"Take it if you want it babe." Ranger said and motioned towards the gun. "You don't have to if you don't want to, the rest of us are armed to the teeth."

I thought about it and left the gun on the bed. I took Ranger's hand and we walked out to the living room where Bobby and Tank were watching a game on the television and Lester was playing with little Ric on the floor with his toys. Ric's laughter was contagious and soon we all laughed like we were mad.

"So I heard there was a story I needed to hear?" I asked as soon as I sat down in Rangers lap in the arm chair. Tank burst out laughing and Ranger chuckled but Lester and Bobby paled under their tans.

"Uhm… Are you sure you want to hear it? It's really not that funny, and I can tell you some funny shit. One time we were in this club and then…."

"Santos, just tell the damn story!" Tank barked and clapped Lester's back. It's been a while when I heard this story!"

I was truly curious now; I wanted to hear this story that made Lester this uncomfortable. He pressed his lips together and motioned Bobby to begin.

"It was a few nights after a mission gone horribly FUBAR; we got bad Intel and I'm not going to even start with the other issues. Anyways, we got home and none of us were seriously hurt. So the other guys decided to throw a "Welcome home" party involving a lot of alcohol. One after one we passed out right here in this apartment. Tank was tired and he fell asleep on the couch, Ranger didn't drink too much and went to his room to sleep off the little he drank. So I and Lester thought that we'd continue. After about three AM, we both passed out on the floor, me in the kitchen and Lester in the bathroom. "

"Then came the next morning. Ranger had woken up early and took Tank with him to go for a run. After a while I really needed to go to the bathroom and rushed there. Too bad Lester was having a bad dream and had found the gun Ranger had hidden in the bathroom. Long story short, he got scared and shot me."

"Oh my god! Where did he shoot you?" I asked truly horrified and wondered why everybody else's thought it was funny. Bobby turned bright red and muttered something. I couldn't hear him at all. Tank was dying of laughter on the couch.

"What?"

"I managed to turn around when I saw the gun but wasn't fast enough." Bobby muttered and shot a dirty look at Lester.

"Did he shoot you in your ass?" I asked and giggled a little. Bobby was looking at the floor and Lester was "busy" with Ric. "Oh my God, he shot you in the ass!"

"He sure did." Ranger chuckled and hugged me closer. "And that's not all. When I came home later I found Lester in the bathroom still asleep and Bobby on the closet door with a bloody ass and vomit on my new Italian shoes and a bullet in the closet door!"

Tank was booming of laughter as was Ranger and I couldn't help but to join in. Soon the laughter died.

"The bullet hole is still in the door just to remind me that I should never ever try to wake my cousin up if there's a gun in that room." Ranger said and pulled me up. We walked into the closet and I looked at the hole in the door. I had always wondered why it was there.

I looked up from the door and my laughter died as soon as I glanced at rows after rows of black clothing. It brought the most vital piece of information from the dream back to me.

"What is it Babe?" Ranger asked me and looked worried.

"I didn't remember it before the dream but the men in the house wore RangeMan uniforms."

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