A/N: Hello everyone! Once again, here I am with another update for you all. I hope you all enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks again to everyone who comments on the story. Knowing that you are all enjoying it makes me incredibly happy. I hope that you continue to comment and leave me your messages. They really do mean a lot. Without further adieu, here is Chapter 15.
Happy Reading!
~ hASHbrown
Chapter 15
A couple days after our little spur of the moment trip to Vegas, I found myself back in LA and back to the realities of being an adult. Work, and bills to pay and an apartment to clean, and a girlfriend's health to worry about and more visits for chemotherapy.
The first couple days that we were back, Callie had a bit of a rough patch. I had figured that all the traveling had taken a toll on her body and I urged her to just stay home and relax till she was a bit better.
I went back to work, feeling rejuvenated and ready take on my caseload. As I sat in my office going over my next appointments case, I looked to a picture I had set on my desk of Callie and I on the beach in Miami. I was so incredibly happy. I had reached that point where I put a picture of us on my desk. This alone just reaffirmed my desire and aspiration to spend the rest of my life with her.
Our relationship was far from perfect. We quarreled from time to time but, mostly about her inability to slow down and rest, but when we made up, we really made up. I could never stay mad at her for very long. I like to think that she never could either.
But I digress, as I was saying I was in my office glancing over at a case when my clients had arrived. I rose out of my chair to greet them as my assistant escorted them into my office. "Mr. Thompson. Good to see you again.
Mr. Thompson was a very tall man with graying hair that was starting to recede back towards the crown of his head. A wealthy businessman who at the time was being sued by a former employee of his for wrongful termination. It was my job to have the case dismissed.
"Mr. Thompson, nice to see you again. Please take a seat. I've gone through the case, and the plaintiff is claiming that she was wrongfully terminated from her position because she was a female and not a male."
"Well I can tell you right now, that is absolutely ridiculous. W have never been nor ever will be a sexist organization, and for her to accuse us of other wise...that's slander." This man said to me completely outraged by the accusations of this woman.
"Well that's why you've come to the right place because we are going to prove her falsehood." I said smiling politely at him. Over the next couple of hours, Mr. Thompson and I were completely engaged in coming up with a plan that would save him from writing out a big fat check for a woman who just wanted to pocket some money for her own benefit.
"Alright so, this is exactly what I need you to do, okay. No deviating from my instructions. Understand?" I asked Mr. Thompson.
"Got it. Do exactly as you say, no exceptions."
"Okay, good. So what I want you to do is…." I started to say, but was cut off by my assistant's sudden need to make an appearance in my office.
"Sorry to interrupt but Arizona, can I talk to you outside for a moment please?" She said to me.
"Reed, I'm in the middle of something with a very important client. Can't it wait?" I asked. I was a little annoyed that I was interrupted so abruptly.
"Trust me, this is something you will want to know now. Something you would kill me for if I didn't tell you right now, so please just come into lobby." She urged once more.
Finally giving in I apologized to Mr. Thompson and excused myself from my office and stepped into the lobby with Reed. "Okay, Reed. What is so god damn important that I had to leave my client waiting?" I demanded. The anger of the situation was building up inside me and the last thing I wanted to be doing at that moment was standing outside my office listening to Reed tell me something that may be utterly ridiculous and a waste of time.
"I just got a call from Dr. Altman at St. Ambrose. Dr. Torres was admitted about 10 minutes ago."
The second that those words left my assistant's mouth; I could feel the blood drain from my body. Callie had allowed me to get so wrapped up in just being happy and living my life that I had never thought that day would come. I thanked Reed for passing the message and I walked back into my office where Mr. Thompson still was waiting for me patiently.
"I'm sorry Mr. Thompson but I have to leave. I know that it is very unprofessional but someone that I love more than anything is very ill and in the hospital and I have to go."
"Ms. Robbins, no need to explain. We can reschedule." He responded to me.
"Thank you, Mr. Thompson. Really. I have to leave so, just check in with my assistant on your way out and reschedule our meeting"
With that I had grabbed my things and headed straight for my car, sending Teddy a text on my out.
Meet me at the door in ten. –A
Once I arrived at the hospital I jumped out of the car and practically sprinted to the door. Fear and panic were the only emotions coursing through my body at that moment. Sprinting the distance from the parking lot to the door seemed to go on forever, but within seconds I was running through the automatic doors and as I had hoped, Teddy was waiting for me. I pulled her into a hug and after a few seconds, I pulled her away and spoke while trying to get my breathing back to normal.
"What….h….ha…happened?" I asked.
Teddy gently grabbed my arm and lightly started to guide me past the lobby and up to Callie's floor. Once she saw that I would comply and walk alongside her, she let go.
"She came in to visit with us and everything was fine while we were seated in the cafeteria but as soon as we got up to leave, she had an episode much like the last one. They've been running tests ever since. She should be back in her room now though. Come on." Teddy said and we headed up in the elevator.
Once we reached the floor, we walked down the long hospital hallway and I stopped just outside of Callie's room. "I want to go in there alone for a bit, okay?" I said to Teddy.
"Yeah, of course. If you need anything, you know where to find me."
Teddy left me outside Callie's door and I took in a deep breath to collect my thoughts before walking in. After a moment, I felt that I was as together as I could be given the situation and walked into her room. Her eyes were closed and she looked angelically peaceful even when lying in a hospital bed. I walked right up to her bedside and with my right hand I stroked her hair ever so gently.
She took in a breath and opened her eyes. She looked up to me and smiled. Her smile melted my heart like it always did and I bent down, placing a tender kiss to her forehead. I pulled the chair in the room closer to the bed and took a seat, taking Callie's hand in mine.
"Hey, beautiful." I said.
"Hey." She responded, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
"How you feeling?" I asked. Somewhere inside of me what I wanted to say was 'I told you, you should be taking it easy and resting.' But I knew that would be rather insensitive and I had decided to push that urge deep down.
"I'm alright. Just a little tired from all the tests." She responded.
"What will these tests show?" I asked. Deep down I knew what they would show. They would tell us whether Callie's cancer had gone or if it had progressed.
"They'll show if the chemo worked or not. I gotta be honest with you Arizona. I don't think the results are going to be good."
"Shh, shh. We'll just wait and see. Everything is going to be fine. Let's just relax and spend some time together." I said smiling to her. But I think she knew that my smile was a façade to cover the worry that was rising within me.
"They pulled you out of work. I remember you saying you had an appointment with an important client today, I'm so sorry."
"Hey, don't apologize. You are more important than any client and I would kill you if you didn't tell me." We both shared a laugh and I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.
For almost an hour I sat and watched her as she slept. She looked so peaceful and happy that I could just stare at her forever. For that entire hour I watched as her chest rose and fell, and there was no sound in the room except for the beeping of the machines that she was hooked up to. The only time that the silence was broken when a redhead woman walked into the room. Smiling to me she whispered, so as not to wake Callie.
"You must be Arizona. I'm Addison Montgomery. I'm one of Callie's friends." She stretched out her hand for me to shake, which I politely accepted.
"You're the Neonatal doctor at Oceanside or it's Seaside Wellness now, isn't it?" I asked. I had remembered seeing her on one of their commercials while watching TV once late at night.
"Yeah, that would be me. How's she doing?" She asked looking to a still sleeping Callie.
"She's been asleep most of the time so far and the doctors haven't come in to discuss her test results yet."
"Alright, well I have a surgery to. I just wanted to stop by after I heard that she was here. I'll come by a little later to see how she's doing. It was nice to meet you Arizona. I can see why she likes you." With that, Addison left the room leaving me with Callie who was stirring from her slumber. As she woke, Dr. Swinder finally came in. I looked to the door and saw Teddy and Mark waiting outside.
"Hi Ms. Robbins. Hey, Callie. I'm sorry I kept you two waiting this long for an update on your test results. We are a little backed up today."
"It's fine. But I assume you have them now, so please. Just tell it to me straight." Callie said. I grabbed her hand and turned my attention to Dr. Swinder.
This was the moment of truth. In that moment we found out what the situation was. We found out whether or not the chemo worked. What the plan would be from there on out.
"Well, I'm so sorry Callie. Your episode today occurred because the chemo isn't working fast enough."
"Fast enough? So it is working, though?" I asked. I had never really heard a doctor say that treatment wasn't working fast enough.
"It is and it isn't. The chemo is killing off the cancer, but as fast as your growth shrinks it enlarges. So really, I guess I have to back track what I just said and tell you that I am sorry but it isn't working."
"So, what happens now?"
"Well, at this stage in your illness, my recommendation would be to consider surgery."
"Surgery?" I asked. I didn't like the idea of them cutting my Calliope open. I knew that's what a lot of the doctors there, Callie included did for a living but when it came to someone that I loved, I just wanted to keep her safe. "What are her other options?"
"Ms. Robbins, the only other option would be to take her home make her comfortable and let the nature of her cancer take its course." She said to me.
"What's involved in the surgery?" Callie asked. Squeezing my hand because she knew that I was getting upset.
"Well we'd have to get a cardio surgeon to remove the growth from your lung." Dr. Swinder answered.
"Okay, so you're saying either do the surgery, where there is a risk of death while on the table, or send her home and wait for her to die from the cancer?"
"I'm very sorry Ms. Robbins…"
"No, this is….this is ridiculous. This isn't right!" I stormed out of Callie's room and went for a long stroll through the hospital. I walked around the halls and on all the floors for over an hour, just trying to come to terms with the information I had been given by Dr. Swinder. I just couldn't wrap my head around all of this.
Never did I imagine in the span of a year, I found myself in the same position twice. Once again, someone that I loved was possibly dying. 'I could take her home and let her die on her own. At least there would be some comfort there and she can die with dignity and with peace. Or convince her to do the surgery and quite possibly spend the rest of my life with her.' I remember thinking to myself.
When I found out that she was sick, I had made a vow to myself to help save her life because she saved mine. Right at that second I had come to a decision. I wasn't going to back down from my promise. I convinced her to fight the first time. I can do it again.
I walked back to Callie's room and saw Teddy standing outside looking in through the window. Callie was propped up in the bed, with Mark sitting and having a laugh with her about something.
"She's laughing." I said. I was a little shocked to find Callie laughing after the news that was delivered just an hour or so ago.
"That's how she wanted it. She didn't want their visit to be sad, so she told him to be his usual charming self. It's because for the first time she's scared. She's scared to leave you. Scared that the cancer killing her will in return kill you."
I remember my eyes beginning to burn as they threatened to shed tears that were building up. "I don't want to lose her. I'm not ready. We just found each other. Up until this moment, it has been a nearly perfect summer. I want her to have the surgery. If it means I get to keep her, then I want her to keep fighting."
Teddy turned to me "She wants to fight too. She's not ready to give up. Arizona let me be the surgeon on her case. Let me be the one to operate. It's what she wants. She just hopes that you want the same thing. I am asking you to put your faith in me and trust that I will take care of her."
I pulled my best friend into an almost suffocating hug. I held her close to me and let the tears run free. "You're the best. Not just as a friend, but I know that you are the best in your field, so yes. I trust you to operate on her."
I pulled away when I heard Mark come out into the hallway. "Hey, she's all yours." He said resting his hand gently on my shoulder. He and Teddy then walked off and into the elevator. As soon as I saw the doors close, I returned my attention to the woman I saw lying in a bed through the window. I took in a deep breath and then braved the threshold of the door that would lead me back to her.
I walked in and walked right up to her resuming my original position in the chair next to her bed. I took her hand on mine, resting it on the edge of the bed and smiled to her. "Hey."
"Hey." She smiled back. "I'm glad you came back. Listen, Arizona, this isn't the end. I'm not done fighting. I want the surgery, and I want Teddy to do it."
"I know. If the surgery is what you want, then I want it too and I couldn't think of anyone better to do it than Teddy." I said giving her hand a squeeze.
By nine o'clock that night, all the staff that were at the hospital when I arrived had pretty much all left and the night rotation had already started. Teddy and Mark had stopped by to say goodnight before heading out and it left Callie and I alone. We kept the conversation light and happy to keep our spirits up, even though deep down I think we both knew what was going to happen tomorrow.
Addison had come back to check on Callie and the second that Addison walked into the room, Callie's face lit up. "Hey, I heard you were here earlier but I thought you would have gone home by now."
Addison smiled and approached the bed. "I wanted to come say hi and see how you were doing."
"Well the treatments didn't work as well as we had hoped, so I'm having surgery tomorrow to remove it."
Addison gave her a smile. A smile that said that she didn't know what to say to her friend. A friend who could be dead tomorrow if the surgery didn't go well. "Well, I will come by tomorrow to check on you post-op okay?"
"I would love that Addie." She smiled
"Okay, well….goodnight you two." Addison said before walking out of the room and leaving us alone again in the quiet.
Callie and I sat in silence, not really looking at each other. We didn't really know what to say. I had been here before, with Joanne. Only Joanne never knew I still loved her and I never knew if Joanne still loved me. I had been here before, only this time it felt a little different. Callie knew I loved her and I knew she loved me. We shared an incredible summer together I had just found her and I wasn't ready to let her go. I finally glanced over to her and her eyes were closing. "You're tired. Get some rest." I said.
She glanced to me and smiled a little. "Come here for a second. Come lay with me here." She patted her hand on the bed inviting me to climb in beside her. I stood up from my chair and climbed in as she requested. I rested my head in the crook of her neck and she wrapped her arms around me as I began to cry uncontrollably. "I'm not ready to let you go."
"And I'm not ready to go. I'm still fighting. I will fight to my very last breath."
She held me tight in her arms as I continued to cry into her neck. I had thought that what I went through with Joanne were some of the worst days of my life, but this was so much worse. I couldn't even keep it together anymore. I was scared to death.
"I love you." I said within my sobbing.
"And I love you." She responded. Not too soon after we both drifted off to sleep. I was still in the bed and Callie still held me safe in her embrace.
The next day, I had woken up and Callie was still sleeping. I had decided to slip out and grab something to eat. I went down to the cafeteria and got a cup of coffee and a bagel. Bringing it back up to the room, I ate in silence as I watched Callie sleep in the bed. Only the steady rhythm of the beeping from the machines filled the room.
When she had finally woken up, we once again kept the conversation as light as possible. We both knew that at any moment, Teddy would come in and say that it was time. Sure enough like I had said at around ten thirty Teddy came into the room.
"Hey guys. Well, it's time to go. Arizona I will have someone inform you of what's going on as often as I can okay?" She said to me.
"Thank you." I responded letting out a deep breath.
"Okay, Cal. You ready to go?" Teddy asked as a bunch of nurses and doctors came in and got Callie ready to head to the operating room.
"Yeah, let's do this." She nodded.
They started to wheel her out of the room and into the hallway when she suddenly asked them to stop. "Wait. Just wait a second. Arizona?"
I walked to her side and grabbed her hand that was stretched out for me to grab. She placed her other hand on top of mine and looked at me with all the love in the world. "What is it?" I asked.
"I just want you to know that I love you. You have made me so incredibly happy."
"No, no. No goodbyes." I said as the tears began to fall down my cheeks.
"I have to say this, please. You have made me so incredibly happy. I love you more than anything and I just need you to know that no matter what happens today….if I don't make it I can die in peace. I can leave this world knowing that I have felt love, knowing that you love me. I can leave this world knowing that I was loved and that you know that I love you."
"I love you Calliope." I said, the tears profusely running down both our faces. I leaned down and kissed her passionately but tenderly and then they wheeled her off down the hall and into what at the time felt like the realm of uncertainty. All I could do then was sit and wait.