The grubtop's screen flashed in the darkness. At equal intervals a small troll head on the desktop's dock would turn from gray to red. Gray to red. Gray, red. Gray, red. It had the effect of brightening the room with a splash of color for a moment. The crimson hue spilled over the tiles, catching on their edges and flaring into bright slits of light. It fell over the bits of debris littering those tiles, outlining the jagged contours against the darkness.
A huddled mass caught the remainder of the bleeding light. It spilled over tousled black hair and splashed against four curved horns. It lit up a pair of gray arms hugging two knees close. With each flash of red light, an accompanying midi sounded, reverberating off the walls and rafters of the lab. It was the only sound in the room, and each new jingle leapt up from the computer to catch the hands of its echoes and dance tauntingly around the curled figure.
For ages it seemed as if reality was caught in a loop. On a skipping disc that kept replaying the same four frames, unable to progress. Unable to go back.
But there was no going back. Only the path forward was open now. And slowly it began to unfurl as the huddled mass shifted. The tousled hair glinted in the light as the head lifted slightly. A glare caught the lens of a pair of anaglyph glasses before it faded, and two mismatched eyes squinted at the flashing screen before them.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]
CG: HEY.
CG: I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.
CG: I HAD FEFERI TROLL YOU IN THE NOW OBVIOUSLY VAIN HOPE THAT YOU WOULD GET YOUR NOOK LUMPING ASS OFF OF WHEREVER YOU DECIDED WOULD BE A FANTASTIC PLACE TO PLANT IT THAT ISN'T HERE.
CG: BECAUSE HERE IS WHERE YOU NEED TO PLANT IT.
CG: YOU NEED TO PEEL YOUR PONDEROUS SEED FLAP FROM WHEREVER IT IS AND DRAG IT, KICKING AND SCREAMING IF YOU HAVE TO, BACK TO THE LAB.
CG: WHERE I AM GOING TO THEN PERCUSS IT SOUNDLY BEFORE SETTING IT BACK DOWN ON A FUCKING CHAIR TO SUPPORT YOUR QUIVERING ACCUMULATION OF IGNORANCE-OSMOSING CELLULAR MATTER
CG: AND TELL YOU THAT A LOT OF SHIT HAS JUST HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE.
CG: AND I WANT EVERYONE IN THE SAME FUCKING ROOM SO THAT I CAN PERFORM MY FUNCTION AS YOUR HARRIED LEADER AND PRESS YOUR NASAL PROBES TO YOUR GODDAMNED COMPUTER SCREENS AND PLAY OBNOXIOUS HUMAN CINEMA UNTIL YOU ALL HEMORRHAGE OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE.
CG: BECAUSE IF THAT'S WHAT I NEED TO DO TO KEEP YOU ALL AWAKE AND SITTING IN THE SAME FUCKING ROOM WHERE I CAN MONITOR YOU, THEN SO HELP ME I AM GOING TO DO IT.
CG: SOLLUX.
CG: SOLLUX, I AM FUCKING FLINGING THESE MESSAGES THROUGH THE ABSTRACT REALMS OF CYBERSPACE AND INTO YOUR GODDAMNED OCCIPITAL LOBES WITH THE FORCE OF A MILLION ANGERED HOOFBEASTS.
CG: I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST, IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME
CG: I WILL STAKE BOTH OF YOUR CREAKING BONE BULGES TO THE FUCKING GROUND.
Sollux stared at the messages. But despite the urgency that was apparent in Karkat's words, he couldn't build any sort of will to act on them. Instead he just continued to gaze forward, as if his sockets had been filled with glue, locking his eyes in place. He slowly stretched his hands forward and rested his fingertips on the grubtop's keyboard.
He lifted them immediately, as if the action of setting them down and removing them had all been one premeditated and flowing motion. He stared down at the keys. At the places where the plastic had been rubbed smooth. At the way the symbols on the i and 2 keys were barely visible any longer. At how the shift key on the left side stuck because of that one time that Karkat had decided to open the audio feed over a chat and scream into Sollux's unsuspecting ear so loudly that the troll had proceeded to upend a glass of soda over his keyboard.
And yet, despite all the familiarity, the computer was a stranger. Just like the Feferi that had trolled him a while ago. Just like the Karkat that was trolling him now. Those messages were intended for the Sollux that he had sent away to endure some obscure fate. They were not meant for the Sollux that had opened transtimeline bulletin boards. They were not for the Sollux that had irreparably shattered all sense of his own continuity.
Not for the Sollux who had tripped over a pathetic lump of a sea dweller quivering in his path. The Sollux who had skinned both knees and bitten his tongue on the way down. And the Sollux who, despite the taste of blood in his mouth, had decided to stay on the ground next to that huddled purple mass, and lie next to him for a while.
He didn't belong here.
He closed Karkat's window. He closed Feferi's window. He pulled up another window. The window full of his own mustard yellow text and yet still managed to look like purple to him.
i wwas nevver meant to be a part a the alpha timeline
and you wwere nevver meant to be here wwith me
He squeezed his eyes shut. He clenched his teeth, his lips curling back over his fangs as he curled tighter, pulling his knees closer to his chest. He put the heels of his palms against both temples, trying to will the voices away. Trying to stop that burning from crawling up his esophagus and constricting his throat. To stop the prickling at the backs of his eyes. He hissed, ripping off his glasses and throwing them across the floor. He pressed his fingers to his eyes, exhaling sharply. He pushed against his eyes so hard he thought both of them might burst. But it was still not enough. It was never enough.
"I've been doin' some thinkin', Sol, and I've decided that maybe we've both been approachin' this the wrong way."
"I've come up with an answer for your question from before, which is that yeah I'm okay with it."
"I'm fine with your think pan bein' royally fucked…"
"I'm sayin'… I guess I'm just sayin' I'm okay with things because it's the now that I want. If the future is holdin' no promise, there's no reason why the present has to be doin' the same."
Sollux ducked closer to his knees. He opened his mouth, and a strangled, desperate cry leaked from his throat. He felt as if his chest were being crushed, his heart throbbing painfully beneath his collapsing ribcage.
"That's all right, Sol. I don't really hate you right now either."
The burning consumed his eyes, engulfing the backs of them and surging forward, coating his corneas in fire. And then the flames escaped through his eyelids. Trickled between his fingers. Carved a burning trail down his cheeks. He sucked in another breath, trying in vain to battle the asphyxiating feeling surrounding his chest.
"I can't hear you," he whispered, his voice a pathetic, cracked thing crawling over trembling lips. "I can't hear you. Get out of my fucking head. Thith ithn't real. None of thith ith fucking real. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP."
He ripped his fingers away from his eyes, the tears flowing freely now. Teeth bared in rage, he pulled his computer close and slammed his fingers against the keys.
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] began trolling PAST apocalypseArisen [PAA] RIGHT NOW
CTA: AA.
CTA: tell me how two get ED back here.
CTA: ii dont giive a hoofbea2t 2hiittiing FUCK what ii have two do
CTA: or what2 goiing two happen becau2e ii do iit.
CTA: iif you know everythiing, then youll fuckiing an2wer me.
PAA: its t00 late s0llux
PAA: im s0rry
CTA: no.
CTA: IIM 2orry.
CTA: iim 2orry ii diidnt fiigure all thii2 2hiit out 2ooner.
CTA: iim 2orry ii hurt you AA.
CTA: but ii have two do thii2.
CTA: 2o plea2e.
PAA: my decisi0n n0t t0 aid y0u has n0 dependence 0n my pers0nal feelings t0ward y0u s0llux
PAA: its m0re t0 d0 with the fact that what y0ure asking me is n0w imp0ssible
CTA: come on AA, iim not 2hiittiing around, here.
PAA: shitting ar0und is als0 a thing i am n0t d0ing
CTA: all riight, you know what?
CTA: ii knew thii2 wa2 a fuckiing wa2te of tiime.
CTA: iit doe2nt even pay two talk two you anymore.
CTA: not when youre liike thii2.
Sollux took his cursor and shoved the window away with as much angered force as he could put into a collection of pixels on a monitor. He then pulled up Eridan's window again.
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] began trolling PAST twinArmageddons [PTA] RIGHT NOW
CTA: ED.
CTA: hey, ED.
CTA: you 2aid before that you could 2ee that tiimeliine 2hiit.
CTA: ii need you two fiind where ii am on there.
CTA: ju2t fiind wherever the fuck iit 2ay2 ii am on that 2tupiid tiimeliine tree and double cliick on iit. and iit 2hould briing you here.
CTA: okay?
CTA: AA2 not beiing helpful at all, liike ii fuckiing knew 2he wouldnt be.
CTA: 2o fuck iit.
CTA: fuck the tiimeliine2 and fuck AA2 iidea of fate
CTA: ED.
CTA: are you gettiing any of thii2?
CTA: an2wer me you iin2ufferable 2hiitface, ii 2ee youre 2tiill onliine.
PAST twinArmageddons [PTA] has changed their mood to OFFLINE
CTA: ED what the FUCK are you doiing?
CTA: thii2 ii2nt the tiime for pa22iive aggre22iive heroiic bull2hiit.
CTA: ED
CTA: fuck thii2.
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] ceased trolling PAST twinArmageddons [PTA]
CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] began trolling PAST caligulasAquarium [PCA]
PAST caligulasAquarium [PCA] is currently OFFLINE
CTA: fuck, ED.
CTA: come on.
CTA: ju2t cliick on my goddamned name.
CTA: plea2e.
CTA: do you want me two get down on my nub2 and beg here?
CTA: becau2e iim hedgiing on beiing wiilliing two do that.
CTA: ii hope youre fuckiing happy.
CTA: COME ON ED WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIING?
CTA: CLIICK ON MY FUCKIING NAME YOU TWIICE FUCKED 2ON OF A 2EA LU2U2.
Sollux shoved the computer away and stood. His hands shook at his sides. He balled them into fists and took a few steps away from the computer, breathing raggedly. At last he came to a glass tube of green liquid. He put his hands against it and pressed his forehead to the cool surface. Then he jerked back and screamed, lifting his hands in a savage upward gesture. Red and blue electricity sparked around him, and with a screech of breaking glass, the tube shattered. Green ooze surged over his feet and across the tile. He heard it slap against the far wall and listened to the tinkle of glass shards as they fell against the tile. Then there was silence.
His shoes splashed through the ooze and squeaked against the floor as he made his way back to the computer. He would just have to go back himself then. He would hack into this timeline's Aradiabot and attach her time powers to his grubtop as he had already done twice before. It hardly required thought any longer. Just a few clicks and key taps and he would be back in the timeline where he belonged.
As he looked at the monitor, however, the Trollian icon flashed red on the dock. He clicked it and his conversation with Aradia unfurled back over his screen.
PAA: as y0u attempt t0 c0ntact eridan there are a few items i need t0 inf0rm y0u ab0ut
PAA: time travel has a way 0f disrupting the n0rmal neural resp0nses 0f th0se wh0 are f0rced t0 endure either inappr0priate m0des 0f travel 0r a sudden and n0nc0nsensual c0gnizance 0f alternate timelines that have been c0llapsed
PAA: the s0llux y0u sent back is suffering fr0m the first example 0f mental instability
CTA: sent back?
CTA: what the fuck are you 2ayiing AA?
CTA: that ii diidnt kiill that…whatever iit wa2. that other me.
CTA: that he2 currently fliippiing hii2 2hiit becau2e he traveled through tiime on a damaged computer?
PAA: yes
PAA: his arrival marks the end 0f this timeline
CTA: waiit, what?
PAA: as such, i d0nt have much time to relay the rest 0f the inf0rmati0n necessary
CTA: are you 2ayiing that ii…
CTA: oh fuck.
PAA: currently the timelines are 0nly remaining 0pen by virtue 0f my p0wers
CTA: oh FUCK.
PAA: even if y0u f0rcefully take the pr0grams necessary t0 travel the vari0us streams 0f time
CTA: FUCK.
PAA: y0ure ability t0 successfully leap fr0m 0ne timeline t0 the next is still c0ntigent 0n the functi0nality 0f the realizati0n 0f my 0wn self in y0ur timeline
PAA: when im g0ne y0ur ability t0 m0ve thr0ugh time will be v0ided
CTA: fuck, ii have two get back.
CTA: thii2 ii2 all my fault.
PAA: s0llux please listen
PAA: this is imp0rtant
CTA: FUCK your importance
CTA: ii have two get back two ED before that 2hiitbraiin of an alternate 2elf fiind2 hiim
CTA: fuck
CTA: FUCK
PAA: its t00 late f0r that s0llux
PAA: hes already been exterminated
CTA: what?
PAA: eridan is dead
CTA: youre lyiing.
PAA: what w0uld i gain by imparting fallacies
PAA: i am trying t0 help y0u
CTA: fuck that.
CTA: all youve been tryiing two do ii2 force feed me your iidea of what the future 2hould be.
CTA: well FUCK your iidea of the future
CTA: ii can 2tiill go back
CTA: ii can go back two before that other me get2 there
CTA: and ED and ii can fiight hiim twogether.
CTA: heheheh…
CTA: wow, that ii2 2o fuckiing corny and iit2 2tiill not goiing two 2top me from doiing iit.
CTA: ii thiink iive hiit an all tiime low.
PAA: that is s0mething y0u have the ability t0 d0 f0r the time being
PAA: but there is n0 way f0r y0u t0 determine whether d0ing s0 w0uld result in a m0re fav0rable 0utc0me
CTA: even iif the only thiing ii accomplii2h by goiing back two the pa2t two help ED out ii2 that ii get u2 both kiilled
CTA: iit2 2tiill 2omethiing iim goiing two do.
CTA: ii promii2ed hiim, AA.
CTA: ii fuckiing promii2ed hiim wed go twogether.
CTA: ii dont want hiim…
CTA: fuck…
CTA: ii dont want hiim goiing on hii2 own, okay?
CTA: not after all thii2 fuckiing BULL2HIIT weve had two go through two get here.
PAA: i cann0t st0p y0u fr0m d0ing what y0u are g0ing t0 d0
PAA: but i will say this
PAA: g0 talk t0 me
PAA: the me fr0m this timeline
PAA: she has s0mething imp0rtant t0 tell y0u
PAA: s0mething that h0lds the key t0 y0ur success
CTA: okay iim tempted two call bull2hiit on thii2.
PAA: i have n0 way t0 f0rce y0u, s0llux
PAA: the future is g0ing t0 play 0ut h0w it will
CTA: fuck you.
CTA: iit2 goiing two play out how ii 2AY iit wiill.
CTA: iit2 goiing two play out the way ii PROMII2ED ED iit would.
CTA: ii am 2o TIIRED
CTA: of haviing two ju2t
CTA: take thii2 bull2hiit
CTA: and accept that that2 ju2t how the world ii2.
CTA: ii want two fuckiing be re2pon2iible for my own fuckiing fate.
PAA: y0u are, s0llux.
PAA: y0u always were.
Sollux snapped the grubtop shut, hissing through his clenched teeth. The tears had formed a dry, itchy crust over his skin now, and he rubbed furiously at his face to combat it. He dug his yellow claws into his cheeks, scraping them over the flesh, digging and gouging and scratching, the movements speeding up until he felt one nail slice neatly into his skin. He sucked in a breath and withdrew his hands. In the dim light, he could see his own yellow blood coating the nail on his forefinger, dribbling down onto his palm.
What was he doing? He was going insane. He gingerly touched the cut on his cheek, feeling the warm blood trickling down his face like another tear that had forgotten to fall.
He was going insane. And for what?
His heart squeezed painfully. As if the very question made it ache.
There was a flash of white light in the darkness, and Sollux squeezed his eyes shut. He put a hand over his face. Even in his current state, he still knew what that snap of electricity meant. The transportalizer. His guts began to twist themselves in knots as his mind frantically flipped through everyone it could possibly be. It snagged painfully on Eridan's name.
He tried to tug his thoughts away, but they lingered in agony. Like a hand that refused to be moved from a bed of coals. Eridan seared his way across his mind, and questions rose from the fire like so much ash and smoke. What would this Eridan do? What would he say? What if he could remember? What if?
What if?
Sollux tore his thoughts away, his head throbbing in pain. No. The trolls from this timeline knew nothing. His own alternate self had known nothing. How could he expect Eridan to be any different?
He had to go back.
"Sollux?"
His eyes snapped open, his hands still covering his face. Such a windstorm had whipped through his mind that already it felt as though it had been ages since the white flash from the transportalizer's light. He lifted his head, smearing blood across his face as he let his hands slip onto his knees.
Outlined in a the faded fluorescence of the last few functioning lights swinging high in the rafters above, Feferi gazed down at Sollux through her pink rimmed goggles. Her large finned ears fanned perfectly against her thick black curls. Her high cheekbones were tinted a light fuscia, as if she'd been running. Sollux felt his mind drifting dangerously close to that bed of coals again as another set of high cheekbones leaked into his memory. Cheeks that turned a dark violet above those full, sneering black lips…
"I got really sick of Karcrab's carping, so I just decided to go get you myself," Feferi said, shattering his dangerous chain of thoughts. As she waited for him to respond, she shifted her weight back onto her heels, linking her fingers together behind her back as she gazed around at the room. Her lips pursed in confusion. "Were you having some sort of fight down here, Sollux?"
"No," Sollux replied. His voice sounded hollow to his own ears. He got to his feet, hoping the movement would distract Feferi from his odd tone.
She unhooked her hands from behind her back and brought them around to the front. She crossed her arms as she surveyed the area. Her quizzical expression was enough to let Sollux know that he wasn't out of the woods yet. He scuffed his shoes against the ground, trying to scrape off some of the slime from his soles.
"Well, it looks like somebody was having a big black rumpus party of some kind. Unless you were just being extra grouchy and decided to break a few of these glass things on your own." She turned her large eyes to him and her lips stretched into a mischievous grin. "What could have made you so angry, Sollux?"
He stared at her for a moment, his mouth slightly opened as his brain attempted to formulate a response. "It wathn't… It wath like thith when I got here."
She quirked an eyebrow. "Reeeally? Well, if you say so, I guess. I wonder if Eridan is using his new magic frond to blow a few holes in our lab." She went up to one of the larger cracks in the wall where Sollux's psionics had crashed against it. "You should probably watch out for him. Even if he wasn't the one who made the big mess here, I'm sure he's probably going to want to test out his shiny new toy." She sighed, dropping her hand back to her side, the bangles on her wrist clinking softly.
Sollux put a hand to his head, trying to keep his thoughts from jumbling in an urgent panic. He had to calm down. The last thing he needed was for any of them to suspect… He had to remind himself that he had time. Even if Aradia was telling the truth and Eridan had died, he could always go back to before it happened. He could always go back and reroute the future. Couldn't he?
Yes. Yes, he could. Absolutely.
Because the alternative made his heart squeeze with such a violent spasm of hopeless pain that he felt the ache all the way in his stomach. It made the bile seem to curdle inside him.
"Sollux?" Feferi was right up next to him now. Her head was slightly tilted as she gazed into his eyes. "Are you all right? You look a little green around the gills."
"I'm fine," He ran an arm over his forehead, trying to wipe away the panic along with the sweat beaded there. "Tho ED hath a new weapon then?"
"Yeah…" Feferi sighed, folding her arms and leaning away from Sollux now that she wasn't trying to assess his health. "I told Kanaya that she should just let him be, since all he's going to do is make a big ruckus. But you know how he can be. He just kept begging and whining and carping until poor Kanaya really had no other choice than to give in! I guess I'm glad he's happy now, if that's really all that he wanted, but I have a feeling he has more fishy motives underneath all this."
"Fishy…motiveth…?" Sollux's brain felt as if it had been melted down into some kind of black sludge. All his other thoughts seemed to move at a snail's pace amidst the frantic jolts of panic.
"You know. That he's going to try and start something again." She shifted her jaw to the side in perturbed confusion. "Don't be stupid, Sollux. You were the one telling me that it's been him that's been driving you up a creek lately with all his angling to get you into some kind of black arrangement. Isn't why I had to listen to Karcrab's squawking on your account? Because you've been harbored up out here trying to get away from Eridan? Because that's what you've been saying."
Sollux put a hand up, his knees still slightly buckled under the weight of his thoughts. He shifted his eyes to the floor and stared at the tiles, finding some semblance of comfort in their dark, dingy surface as opposed to the chaotic colors of Feferi's dress. He heard her as she moved closer.
"You're just so stubborn! You're as bad as he is sometimes." He felt her take the hand that he had raised and suddenly something cool and spindly was pressed against his palm. He looked up in time to see Feferi curl his fingers around his glasses.
"You look kind of tired without them," she said. Her tone was softer now, more relaxed. As he shifted his gaze from his hand to her face, he saw that her lips were curled up in a smile. "I wonder how long you've looked like that."
"Forever." His voice was more curt than he'd meant it to be. He unfolded his glasses and pushed them up onto the bridge of his nose. She never looked away from him, as if she expected him to elaborate. Her gaze was enough to force a few more words out. "I never really thleep."
"I know. I guess I just forget sometimes. But it's probably why I can never really get that mad at you. I know you have a lot on your mind. Twice as much as anyone else, probably." She giggled, glancing at Sollux as if she expected him to react.
Under any other circumstances, he probably would have.
Feferi's smile melted slowly away to be replaced with a confused frown. "Maybe you could tell me about it. Gamzee's off somewhere so the horn pile is free for any old pair of clownfish to cuttle up in." She tried to give him a reassuring smile as she took his hand. "But I do have to take you back to the lab whether you like it or not. You've earned your fair share of listening to Karcrab spout through his grumpy blowhole. I've taken enough of his carp to last me for a long tide."
As she led him from the room and through the gray tiled labyrinth that was the meteor's laboratory, Sollux stared at her fingers. At the way her nails rested against his gray skin, making the slightest dips as she pulled him along. He swallowed a few times, trying to concentrate on the way their fingers intertwined. Trying to study the way the light hit their flesh. Anything. Anything to keep himself from thinking in the silence.
Anything to keep the voices from echoing in his head.
"I'm going to need to uthe a computer," he said at last.
Feferi looked back at him. "Haven't you been using a computer this whole time? I really think we should sit in the horn pile for a while! Who knows when this opportunity will come again. Karcrab's trying to get Gamzee to come back to the lab too, you know, and then he's going to start charging pinches of his miracle sand again to anyone who wants to use it."
"I jutht really need to take care of thomething. Then we can do whatever thort of feelingth bullshit you want, all right?"
She laughed. "I guess that's the best I can expect out of you, huh? Fine, have it your way. I'm sure Karcrab's going to gripe at you for a while anyway. And I'd rather not be interrupted in the pile!"
She led them onto the last transportalizer. With a flash of white light and a snapping of energy, they were back. Back in the old room with its ring of shitty computers. And yet, it felt strange. The last time Sollux had been there, the entire place had been abuzz with activity. He could still hear the voices. Gamzee's honking laughter. Kanaya's fervent typing. Vriska's loud boasts. Tavros' stammering apologies as he rolled himself over tangled cords and empty bottles of Faygo.
He blinked at the quiet room as Feferi released his hand to wander over to the horn pile. The dusty wheeze of the honks as she flopped back onto it was the only sound in the room besides a few intermittent clinks of metal. His eyes flicked to his right and found Equius, who was huddled over a tabletop that he'd cleared of computer accessories to make space for his various littering of robotics. His skin glistened with a fresh sheen of sweat as he picked up a ratchet and reached far up into the tin torso of his latest project. Curled at his feet was Nepeta, her tail clutched in her gloved hands as she slept.
And there, directly across from him, was Aradia. Or, the metal husk that masqueraded as her. He felt a hot flare of electric anger buzz in his chest and snap up his spine. It melted the black sludge of thoughts oozing through his skull into a boiling pitch. He stalked across the room, standing next to her. He threw the chair away from his computer, sending it clattering across the floor.
As it tumbled onto the transportalizer and was whisked away in a buzz of light, the room fell back into silence. But it was a more electric silence, energized by the sudden attention radiating from the others. He could feel Feferi's gaze as a few soft honks alerted him to her movement on the horn pile. The sudden halt of clinking from the table next to him made him aware of the blueblood's eyes through his shattered sunglasses.
And a sudden oath told him that Karkat was now aware of his presence.
"Well, it fucking took you long enough, Mr. I'm So Important I Need A Fucking Escort Before I Decide To Listen To Anything Someone Orders Me To Do, Even If It's For My Own Goddamned Good." Karkat was standing beside Terezi, his claws digging into the back of her chair as he tore his eyes away from her monitor for a moment to address Sollux. He paused in his tirade for Sollux to respond, but the troll never even cast him a sidelong glance. He began to type feverishly, his eyes glued to his monitor.
"Whatever. I still have half of you fucking morons to gather up into one identifiable unit. So just stay there and do your coding shit or whatever the fuck you're doing to while away the rest of your existence here. Just so long as it involves you having your ass where I can see it. Because that's how much I enjoy having your ass-photons assaulting my corneas."
Sollux barely heard him. His head was filled with the clack of the keyboard and the screaming of the voices. Screaming and begging. He squeezed his eyes shut against them, but trying to shut them out only seemed to make them louder.
"Please, Sol. S-stop…"
The voice was thick. Slurred with blood.
"It's fuckin' ov-ver… Sol… No… No…"
Sollux's hands shook. He tapped at the keys harder. Faster. As if their noise could block the sounds out. The screams. The snapping of bones and splatters of blood. The deadly hum of psionics. The rattling of desperate last breaths.
"I'm coming… I'm coming…" He was barely aware he was saying anything. Barely aware of the encryption he was weaving as he typed it out. The one he now knew the answer to. The one his past self was powerless to puzzle out. His heart pounded, and with each painful beat, more variables fell into place. More commands. More script. It was like a rain of jigsaw pieces that all fell impossibly into place.
"I won't let thith happen. I won't. I'm coming back to get you." His voice was no more than a breathless mutter. A soft oath thrown into the unlistening black void of his own skull.
"Sol… Where are you…?"
"I'm here. I'm right here. And I'm coming back."
"I'm…fuckin' scared…"
"Thith ith all going to go away thoon. I'm going to make it all go away."
He tightened the last cogs on the intricate machine that was his encryption. And then he unleashed it. Watched it snake around his transtimeline bulletin board, its coils wrapping around every function, every piece of data, locking it up. Choking it. Suffocating it. He watched as his own messages withered and died in front of him under a black screen until all that remained was the white heat of two words.
ACCESS DENIED.
Shaking, he pushed his cursor away from the window, driving it toward his next task like a beast under a whip. Not long now. Not long. All he had to do was to hack Aradia's system and reinstall the time travel program. He had done it so many times now. So many times. He flicked through windows and input commands. He reassigned values and ran the startup menus.
The stained glass amalgam of timelines bloomed on the window before him.
And was covered instantly by a Trollian chat window.
apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]
AA: hi
Sollux stared at the chat window, his fingers shaking. His eyes slid slowly to his right. The Aradiabot was standing in the same position it had been in when he had entered the room. It had no need to type. The network was plugged directly into a port above her temple. He felt his heart pound in his chest. Aradia's words from before flashed behind his eyes. How much did this robot know?
More importantly, would it try to stop him?
PAA: y0ure ability t0 successfully leap fr0m 0ne timeline t0 the next is still c0ntigent 0n the functi0nality 0f the realizati0n 0f my 0wn self in y0ur timeline
The ability to travel through time had never been his. It had always belonged to her.
So he couldn't let her know.
He couldn't give her any sort of clue that he was anything other than the Sollux that she knew. Trying to swallow the bile building at the back of his throat, he lowered his hands to the keyboard and began to type.
TA: hii?
AA: i guess i sh0uld say s0mething
AA: bef0re i g0
TA: aradiia, ii am riight glubbiing here, liike two feet away from you.
TA: iif you want two 2ay 2omethiing two me why don't you ju2t turn two your left and 2ay iit, iit'2 bad enough that you've hardly 2aiid two lou2y word2 two me 2iince you became that 2weaty a22hole'2 2moochbot.
AA: i kn0w
AA: but this is hard f0r me
TA: how ii2 iit hard.
TA: you are a tiin can, robot2 don't have feeliing2.
AA: n0 thats n0t true
TA: ok then, what ii2 iit.
AA: s0rry ab0ut everything
AA: and all the bad luck y0uve had
AA: y0u didnt deserve it
Sollux paused. His fingers were shaking so badly he couldn't form a reply. He slowly turned his head, his eyes shifting toward Aradia. She was no longer facing the screen of her computer. Instead her head was turned towards him, her glassy red eyes boring into his own.
His heart seized in his chest.
She knew.
Of course she knew.
AA: i have t0 g0 n0w
TA: what, where are you goiing?
AA: im n0t sure
TA: er, cool ii gue22?
AA: anyway thats it
TA: waiit.
TA: you mean for good, wiill ii see you agaiin?
AA: i d0nt kn0w that either
AA: but i guess if y0u d0
AA: pr0bably n0t with y0ur eyes
TA: what the hell i2 that 2uppo2ed two mean?
AA: i think y0ull be 0k with it th0ugh
AA: 0_0
AA: i wish
AA: i c0uld s0meh0w make that em0tic0n smile
AA: 0u0
AA: n0 that l00ks stupid
AA: 0h well
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]
His entire body shook. Silence seemed to rush in through his ears and wrap around his brain as Aradia's metal feet lifted and stepped toward him. As the cord at her temple tightened and was finally yanked from its port. It swung down to the floor as she extended her sleek aluminum arms.
As he was wrapped in her cold metal embrace, even the dying voices in his head were silent.
The only thing he could recall from the subsequent explosion was the brilliant flash of red and orange, accompanied by a cloud of smoke. He never remembered there being any sound.
The cries of the others were muted as robot parts flew through the room. Sollux removed his glasses slowly, his expression blank. His mind empty save for that one phrase. That one line of rust red text.
PAA: when im g0ne y0ur ability t0 m0ve thr0ugh time will be v0ided
His entire body went numb. His mind. His heart. Every ounce of flesh.
He never felt the tears begin to fall.