Chapter 8: Baby I'm gonna love you when the lights come up

I'm sorry this chapter is short! I will update soon, but enjoy for now. Please review, it means so much to me! (:

I woke up to the sound of murmured voices. It felt like everything inside me was chugging along slowly, almost refusing to process anything. I knew I was really drugged up because I couldn't feel a thing.

It was hard to resist the blackness threatening to pull me under, but I wanted to see James. I struggled to fully awake. It was challenging, but I managed to do it. It was ten times harder to find the will to open my eyes. I decided to give myself a rest and listened to the people around me.

"When is he going to wake up?" I heard someone ask. It sounded like Logan.

"The doctor said any time from this morning to tonight. It might take a while." I instantly recognized James' voice but it sounded odd, cracking in weird places. Was he hurt? I started to panic and finally opened my eyes.

Everything was blurry; it took a few seconds to focus. The conversation cut off and I heard a door softly close. I felt slight pressure on my hand and looked to my right to find James looking down at me. I tried to open my mouth to speak but couldn't find the strength. I started to get frustrated at myself for being so dumb before.

James put his finger on my lips.

"Shh, don't talk. Save your strength." He told me. I tried to nod but when I did it felt like a thousand needles stabbing through my head. I closed my eyes against the pain then concentrated. After a few moments I gently squeezed his hand.

He let out a breath I didn't know he was holding and I opened my eyes to him smiling. I managed to smile back and he leaned in slowly and very hesitantly kissed my nose, avoiding my bandaged forehead. I wondered how banged up I was.

I found my answer two days later, when I finally had enough strength to speak.

"You broke your left arm in two places and suffered extensive damage to your head." I got chills along my spine. The doctor paused, then continued. "Your brain was swelling significantly and we almost had to operate, but it eventually went down on its own. You got lucky. We'll see your progress tomorrow and decide if you're well enough to leave."

I nodded and he opened the door, letting everyone waiting inside. Kendall and Logan were carrying huge bags.

"What are those?" I asked. James came over and took my hand. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Letters and gifts." Kendall answered.

"For me?" I gasped.

"Well, yeah." He replied.

"How did they even find out where to send them?" I asked, still in shock. I was pleased to know our fans actually cared that much to send something.

"The go-kart place released what hospital you were sent to in the police report." James spoke up. "We asked them to disclose the information but I guess a few fans saw it before they did."

I squeezed his hand and he returned the pressure. I yearned to reach out to him, to be in his arms miles away, this whole mess behind us. I really just wanted to be alone with him, but that proved impossible as the guys stayed for hours, helping me open all the gifts and letters.

Around lunchtime, I decided to take charge.

"Guys," I said, everyone turning to look at me. "I really appreciate your company, but I'm starving, so I know you must be, too. Go get lunch and do something, I can't leave until tomorrow anyway."

They agreed and started filing out after quickly cleaning up. They didn't even bother to ask James to join them; they knew he wouldn't leave my side.

"Do they know?" I asked after the room was empty again.

He sighed and responded, "I'm pretty sure they have an inkling. But you know how strict Nick is. We won't be able to let anyone find out. I know we can trust the guys, but if it blows up we might get fired."

The weight of what he said hit me. I immediately felt depressed. "So even if we come out we can't fully come out? We'll have to keep everything a secret?" I asked.

"Don't stress about it. We have a while to figure this out." He said, stroking my hair. I gave him a look and he chuckled and leaned in for a kiss.

After he pulled away I asked another question. "Wait, so are Kendall and Logan..?"

He made a face and replied. "They're not sure what they're doing yet. But they definitely have feelings for each other." I gave him a confused look. "Logan told me one night. I wasn't sure if I should tell you so I just said to watch them and see if you notice. I guess you did."

"Yeah I did. Things just got a lot more complicated."

The next day the doctor said I was free to go. James helped me leave and I was slightly annoyed when I saw the paparazzi outside waiting. I was embarrassed also because the hospital makes you leave in a wheelchair and I could walk perfectly fine.

As the flashes went off, I climbed into the waiting taxi and waved to the cameras, flashing a fake smile. The cab took off and sighing, I leaned my head on James' shoulder. I really just wanted to go home but we had 2 more concerts to play. Luckily, we didn't have to cancel any shows and I got pills for my headaches so that I can perform.

James played with my hair and I started to fall asleep. The ride wasn't very long though, so he gently pushed me upright and climbed out when the taxi stopped. I followed him out and thanked the driver. We walked into the hotel and I went straight for the bed, laying down without undressing.

"I have to go to rehearsal with the guys in 20 minutes. Do you think you can go or do you feel too bad?" He asked me after a few moments.

I sighed and sat up. "I'll go. It's not like I'm disabled." I replied.

He raised his eyebrows and looked at the cast on my arm and the bandage still on my head.

"That doesn't count!" I told him, laughing.

He chuckled and came to sit next to me. I laid my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me.

"You don't know how worried I was…" James whispered. I looked up at him questioningly.

"When I saw you crash. And then when they pulled you out of the car and you were unconscious. I was so scared." He continued, his voice cracking on the last word. I reached up and stroked his hair, telling him it was okay.

"They wouldn't let me go to you, Carlos. They held me back. I couldn't just look at you, laying there bleeding."

I noticed he was tearing up and I started comforting him.

"Oh James, it's okay." I murmured. I hugged him and he nestled his face into my neck. I patted his back as he calmed down. "I'm fine now, everything's fine." I said.

He pulled away and sniffed, rubbing his eyes.

"We should get going." He said. I nodded but stopped him before he could get up. He looked at me, confused. I giggled and leaned in, giving him a quick kiss. Then I hopped away and started to leave. He ran after me, causing me to squeal, which made him laugh. We looked into each others eyes and had a cheesy moment. He kissed me softly once more and I marveled at how glad I was to have things back to normal.