Angela slowly pushed the door to the apartment she had been calling her home for nearly five months. A home she had been forced to settle into after Jack had taken off to South America, leaving her alone with life inside of her, leaving her to face the hard realities of pregnancy on her own. As she closed the door, Angela could hardly believe only five little months had gone by. It seemed like an eternity since she had heard her boyfriend's voice, felt the rugged touch of his hands on her body and felt the warmth of his breath on her neck when he woke up in the morning, curled up against her. She sighed.
Not even bothering to take off her shoes, Angela collapsed on her couch. She felt tired. Every inch of her body cried desperately for rest but the thought of her son in the hospital was enough to keep her awake. Just the thought of sleeping while Kyle was struggling to stay alive across the city was unimaginable. She knew she'd have to go to sleep one day. That collapsing from the lack of sleep would certainly not help her son but whenever she closed her eyes, she saw him. Kyle, in his weird white bed, drowning in a pool of tubes, with a diaper almost twice as big as his body. She saw his bones through the thin layer of skin, his ribcage, the things her best friend worked with every day of her life, the things she herself had grown accustomed to seeing with the years. But seeing them in Kyle was bringing back the old meaning these same bones have had in the past for her: they belonged to somebody. Somebody who had lived, who had suffered, who probably had laughed as well and cried. All of that made her wonder if her son would even get a chance to do all of that.
A week had gone by. Only a week. A week spent going to the hospital five times a day to see her son, to try to provide to this little life that she had given a little bit of warmth, love and comfort in a room where everything felt cold and impersonal. A week of nights coming back alone, leaving a piece of herself behind, knowing that she would have to wait another twelve hours before seeing her baby boy again.
Angela closed her eyes. A pounding headache was forming at the base of her neck and was slowly beginning to spread inside her skull. She could hear the throbbing pain in her ears, like a bomb willing to explode at any second.
From her purse beside the door, she could hear her cellphone ringing. She groaned at the prospect of having to get up before deciding that the person would leave a message. A few rings later, the room was once again quiet.
Angela momentarily thought of her son before gently falling into a dreamless sleep.
She quickly thought of an earthquake as Angela was jolted back to reality. Squinting in the darkness, she tried making out the time on her DVD player. 10:05. She yawned widely and stretched. What had awaken her?
She listened intently only to be greeted by silence.
Probably just my imagination.
She was about to go back to sleep when the sound of knocking reached her ears. Her heart began beating wildly in her chest. Who could be visiting her at this time of night?
From the couch, she stared at the door as if doing so would lead to seeing through it. Three more knocks, louder than this time.
Frowning, Angela stood up and slowly walked to the door. A hand on the knob, she was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of anxiety. A gut feeling she couldn't ignore, telling her the second she opened the door her life would change forever. She peeked through the peephole and was greeted by a distorted familiar face. Her heart stopped racing inside her chest and it's with a rather shaky hand that Angela turned the knob and opened the door.
Everything had happened so fast. She had opened the door and immediately her earlier gut feeling had been validated. Time seemed to have stood still as he had smiled sadly at her and had asked if he could come in. A blur greeted Angela as she tried to remember what had happened next. She vaguely remembered a conversation. A rather short one since Jack had then requested a shower. She barely remembered showing him where the things were and coming back to the kitchen to sit down. Her head was spinning, her heart seemed on the verge of collapsing of exhaustion for racing too quickly, her hands shook greatly as she brought her cup of tea to her lips. The hot water burned her tongue. Angela hissed but swallowing the broiling water nonetheless. She felt it sliding down her throat, burning every inch of tissue inside. The pain almost felt good.
The water had long stopped running and Angela wondered what her ex-boyfriend was currently up to. She wondered what was going to happen next. Despite the blur, she knew they hadn't spoken about Kyle. Did he even know about the son she had given birth to? Had he read her e-mail? Was that why he was here?
She heard footsteps down the hall and her heart momentarily stopped his pounding. Her breath caught in her throat and she was unable to reply when he asked her if she had something to eat.
"It was a long trip." He added, without looking at her.
"I have soup if you want." Angela replied, her voice shaking along with her hands.
"That would be great." Jack replied as he immediately went to the cupboard beside the fridge.
"Sorry if I don't have anything else. I've been too busy to do groceries."
Jack turned around.
"I said soup would be great." He said, a smile tugging at his lips.
Angela smiled shyly back at him.
"How long are you in town?" Angela asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Couple days." Jack muttered, not turning around.
"How long is a couple days?"
Angela watched as the hand stirring the soup stilled. She could see his shoulders tense and she could swear he was chewing on his bottom lip, debating whether a lie would be better than the harsh truth.
"Five days. I leave Wednesday."
Angela nodded as she held back some tears. She should have known. She should have known he hadn't come back for good. He was still mad or whatever the heck the emotion that had made him leave in the first place.
They sat in silence as Jack slowly ate his dinner. The ticking of the kitchen clock almost seemed loud. Unable to stand the silence anymore, Angela got to her feet.
"There are blankets in the closet beside the bathroom and extra pillows as well. Make yourself comfortable on the couch. I'm going to bed." Angela announced before leaving the kitchen.
Jack simply swallowed another spoonful of soup.
She hated feeling like that. She hated when sleep seemed just out of reach. She hated turning around and to see that only a few minutes had gone by when she was sure an hour had passed. She hated knowing her ex-boyfriend was in the other room, sleeping on a very uncomfortable couch, when he should have been here with her.
The faint sound of traffic reached her ears from the opened window. The night was warm yet Angela felt cold. With her blankets wrapped tightly around her, she thought. She thought of all the things she should have said to him, all the pain she should have yelled. She should have told him how much she hated him for abandoning them like he had. How much she hated him for making her believe there was something wrong with her, to make her think it all had been her fault, to blame her previous miscarriage on herself.
He hadn't even mentioned their son she knew he knew she had given birth to. Why else would he have dropped by her apartment out of the blue? Surely not for a friendly visit since they had only spoken a total of ten minutes, if not less.
Turning on her back, Angela watched the shadows on her ceiling of branches floating gently in the breeze. Somewhere on her left, the door creaked opened. Closing her eyes, Angela pretended to sleep.
She listened as the footsteps got nearer. Even with her eyes closed, she knew he was standing right beside her bed. Her heart sped up at the thought of their proximity. Memories of past nights when she would wake up, catching him staring tenderly at her while she slept. She used to love the smile that followed, slowly stretching from ear-to-ear. They would stay like that for a few seconds, simply staring into each other's eyes, reading into them what both wanted to say but kept bottled up inside.
Her heart broke at the thought that there might not be any more of those moments. Slowly, Angela opened her eyes and her heart nearly stopped at the sight of him.
Maybe it had been the shock, maybe it had been the anger but he looked different. Moonlight shining down on him, he looked skinnier. His face was pale and Angela noticed the dark circles under his eyes that had managed to slip by her when she had opened the door earlier that evening. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes.
"I want to see him."
As if stung by his words, Angela sat up in her bed.
"Please." Jack said, his voice cracking. "Let me see him."
Angela nodded slowly.
"Okay."
Reaching out to him, Angela immediately pulled him an embrace where Jack would finally fall asleep, hours later, after letting out days of anxiety and fear.
"Breakfast is ready!" Temperance yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
Walking back to the kitchen, she began setting the table. Booth lowered his newspaper.
"I wonder how Angela and Jack are doing." She said as she placed a plate in front of her husband.
Grabbing her by the arm, Booth pulled her down and claimed her lips with his.
The door closed behind them and Jack slowly made his way to his son's incubator. More tears began to fall as he laid eyes on what would turn out to be the best thing he had ever done in his entire life.
"He's so small." Jack whispered.
Angela took a few steps towards him.
"You can touch him if you want."
Slowly, Jack stuck his hand inside the latex glove. Kyle twitched at the touch of his father's finger but didn't wake up. Jack pulled out his hand.
"Is he going to be okay?"
Angela felt her heart break. Before she even had the chance to reply, Jack's knees gave out under her and brought him crashing to the floor in a rack of sobs. In an instant, Angela was at his side and not even abandonment mattered as she joined him in his release of pain.