AN: While reading this, I have nyan cat blaring in my ears. Expect minor crack...
Helaina: Adam, yeh think yeh can 'andle another 'nother chapter?
Adam: May's well, destroyed enough brain cells readin' the last one so why the hell not read another one?
Me: This is one of my favourite chapters.
Adam: You've read this crap already?
Me: I skimmed...
AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!
Adam: MCR?
Me & Helaina: Muggle band.
Adam: How do yeh know muggle band names 'Laina?
Helaina: Steph
Adam: *Glares*
Me: *Shrinks in seat*
I was so mad and sad.
Me: At least she wasn't also a glad lad…
I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me.
Helaina: I thought Vampire cheated on her? *Smugface*
I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.
Adam: That would probably mean something to me if you didn't describe it as 'doing it'.
Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick!
Me: Oh Merlin's beard no…
Adam: Um… I don't like where this's goin'
Helaina: Me either…
He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was... Voldemort!
Adam and Helaina: Shit!
Me: *Laughing*
Adam: *Glares again* What's so funny? The Dark Lord attacks an' yehr laughing?
Me: It's a fanfiction! It's all fake poorly written crap.
Adam: *blushes*
"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.
"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.
Adam: That makes sense…
"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"
Adam: Oh come on! Of all the times I've seen 'im 'e's never spoken in 'olde' English.
I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic (Me: Sexy) black hair and how his (Me: Sexy) face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that (Me: Sexy) Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with
Me: Sex-
Helaina: Shut up!
Me: Okey…
Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?
Adam: Would make sense, wouldn't it?
"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.
Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.
"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"
Me: That's not even proper olde English!
"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.
Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.
Helaina: I didn't think he even had a *skims story again* 'dude-you're-so-retarded' look.
Adam: He didn't.
"I hath telekinesis."
Me: Telepathy
he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.
Helaina: He don't need no gorram broomstick.
I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.
Me: Le magic!
"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"
"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)
All: *Groan*
between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.
Adam: Who?
Me: Muggle artists I think…
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No." he answered.
"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.
"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.
Me: How do they make out while walking?
Adam: How did this even get in a book?
Me: No clue…