Disclaimer: I own no part of this ever expanding franchise.

Everything's Relative

When the home movies were over McCoy followed his younger self to sickbay, because he still wanted to be useful. Meanwhile Jim and Spock went back to the cabin Jim had claimed as his own for the night. On the way Spock was acutely aware of how quiet Jim was. He knew he would be quite despondent at learning about the children he had never met. Especially because he knew how much Jim had cared about and missed David, but he thought that being able to see them, at least briefly, and watching them grow would help. Instead he seemed to be completely depressed.

When they entered the room Jim went to go stare at a wall and Spock sat down on the bed. He was not as young as he once was and to say the day's events had been taxing was a great understatement. He had gained much today and before now he had been kept busy, and in that way he had been given the pleasure not to focus on what he no longer had. In the quiet of such a familiar room though he would not allow himself to deny it or shove it away. He misses the children. Looking at the man he had made them with, looking lost and lonely, he knew he could not afford to be selfish. He had had everything with them, Jim had not. Jim was far more important at this juncture.

"Jim, what is it?"

"You know I met Sulu's daughter on the Enterprise B."

Spock went along with the abrupt comment, because at least Jim was talking. "Yes, I believe he did mention that she had entered Starfleet."

"I asked Scotty when Sulu had found time for a family. You know what he said? He quoted me! Told me that I had once said 'that if something was important you made the time', it got me thinking that maybe my life had been one big mistake. That after I had spent my time focused on my career that all I had to show for it was a bunch of honours hung on the walls of an empty house. That it had cost me so much, too much. That by advancing myself away from my 'best destiny' as you called it that I had lost so much time with you, that galloping around the galaxy had cost me any chance of knowing my son as a boy; or knowing him at all.

"For an instant all I wanted was the chance to do it all over; to do it right; and suddenly I did. I couldn't explain it then and I can't explain it now. One moment the bulkhead on the Enterprise disappeared and in the next I found myself in the summer cabin I knew as a boy with no news cameras, no demands of life and death. Just time to do whatever I wished with myself."

"Were you happy there, Jim?"

"I thought I was, but looking back in hindsight it was like the time we were on Omicron Ceti III with those spores. It was a high, an artificial peace, where I was content to do nothing, to stagnate; but you know me it couldn't last. I need to do, I'm driven to help, to accomplish. I think that's why I was having difficulty with retiring. There was no mountain to climb anymore. There wasn't in wherever I was trapped either, but I didn't realise it for so long, and then…and then I didn't try hard enough! They got me out without even realising it! If I had known I was trapped sooner I could have…goddamn it, Spock! Five days! Five days was all that separated you from knowing you were expecting. From being able to tell me that I was going to be a father again; from knowing that in a few short months there was going to be so many new mountains to climb, and tasks to do. Instead, in a fit of selfishness, I missed it all. You raised our children, held our grandchildren. While I wasted my time with what I thought I wanted."

Jim came and sat down next to Spock, his eyes growing misty. Spock hugged him hard. He longed to feel Jim to know that he wasn't going to disappear at any moment.

"My life it, it would have been so full. So much fuller than that empty paradise I was content to wallow in for so long."

"It can still be full, Jim. We have each other again. We can grow old together as you wished to. We are home."

"You had a home before. I envy you, Spock, you're so strong. You've gone a lifetime without me."

"And not a day went by that I did not miss you, Jim."

"I know, but you still did it. You lived long, you prospered. Me I had to change the conditions I couldn't accept it."

"And you were successful if I had-"

Jim cut him off. "Never, never think like that! It wasn't your fault and besides you, you might have hurt them."

Jim buried his face against Spock's neck and let the tears finally come.

"They're so beautiful, so strong. They're just like you and I…how-how can I miss people I've never even met?"

"Illogical, but it still exists; and I miss our children too."

It was a simple admission the controls were so loose now. Change so much change, so much time…lost, gone from him like sand through his fingers on a beach. Jim looked at his husband. There was still such pain and loneliness in those eyes. Of course he would miss them they had been his whole world and yet here he was putting other's needs before his own just like always, yes he was still Spock.

"Spock, I love you so much…and I should have been there."

Spock just held Jim close, leaving gentle kisses through greying hair.

"You are here now and that is more than enough. More than I ever dared to hope for; and you should be secure in the knowledge that our son and daughter will carry on in our place. To reach new heights and thrive as we wish them to."

Meanwhile in the 24th century.

Lights hummed on and monitors beeped as two people slowly opened their eyes to stare at a sickbay ceiling.

"And once again we survive to fight another day."

"You know eventually we're going to run out of lives."

"Luckily I've got more that you, thrill-seeker."

"I'm not a thrill-seeker my work required more risk than yours did. Besides you've travelled and tried far more outrageous activities than I have."

"Correct and even I managed not to fall off a cliff."

"I was able to climb back up unaided what does that say about me?"

"That you're a stubborn thrill-seeker so my point still stands," the woman said, carefully sitting up on the bed and looking over to the man on her right. "Breathe deeply and tell me if it hurts."

"There is mild discomfort on my right side when I intake fully. Other than that I feel well, and you?"

"My leg has healed adequately. All other injuries are minor."

They were fortunate, others had not been. They looked at one another again; their eyes hollow. Both aware of the consciousness that now roamed on the edges of their own. Parted now and yet not parted. Always touching and yet could never be touched again. There was no need for words, but they must be used as they could not risk complete touch in such a state.

"Father said we would understand it when we were older."

"I wish I did not."

"I know."

"What of father?"

"No word has been received from him. He is presumed dead," a new voice answered.

They turned as a young Vulcan male entered the room.

"I grieve with thee," he said.

"And we with you," they responded.

"What has occurred while we have been unconscious?" The older male asked the younger.

"The refugees have arrived at Delta Vega. You two have remained in the ship medical bay to recover and allow more hospital room on the colony. Due to sub-space interference believed to have been brought on by the supernova all contact has been temporarily cut off. The Federation has not been fully disclosed of recent events."

"Is the rest of the family here?"

"Affirmative, in addition both T'Nika and t'Lara have delivered successfully in you absence. Do you wish to see them?"

"No, not yet we must discuss matters first," the woman said to her son.

"Then I shall leave you."

"Thank you, Raavik."

He nodded and left the room. Amanda turned to her brother.

"We have been told they fear him dead, and yet I feel he is still among the living, merely displaced."

"I agree. The trace of him is faint, but presence. It gives me hope because it…it is not unlike that which we felt when we were young, and now it seems so close, so possible."

The cause was far more than sufficient and Amanda let herself smile. "Dad you think we've been sensing dad all this time."

"Before there was no baseline to measure, but now with our father in that same mental frame, there and yet not there, it seems only logical."

"His body was never recovered," Amanda said, agreeing with Leonard's assessment. "The Nexus phenomenon was not seen before then and is still poorly understood now."

"Surly father will try to return then, if the phenomenon that has been created now is similar to that."

"It might be quite possible that he is unable to return. Dad has not. Indeed if they are now in the same space they will obviously need outside intervention."

"And if we cannot return as well?" Leonard asked.

Amanda was silent, thinking through everything thoroughly. "Romulus was the heart of the Romulan Empire. With the planet now gone the empire will quickly fall into disarray."

"The survivors will quickly become entrenched on Delta Vega as Saavik and father wished it to be."

"Vulcans understand the importance of culture even if they do not agree with it. They will give aid to achieve stability."

"And it will be a great blow to the Federation to lose one of their greatest ambassadors in an attempt to prevent this catastrophe. Members will question why more action was not taken, and will discover that outside action was."

"To lose his family as well, not just of a high ranking Vulcan family, but family of the late James T. Kirk; as they attempted to rescue all they could. A decorated doctor and the youngest captain in Starfleet history, the Federation will have no choice but to act. To make any peace that can be achieved to save face."

They fell silent both arriving at the same conclusion, that they voiced in unison.

"We are now worth more to the Federation dead than alive."

The decision was made. They would go to his rescue and if they too could not return, that was acceptable. The decision was both logical, because it would be for the needs of the many, and emotional, because it would fulfill their need to see him again if they could; to ensure his safety and to even perhaps confirm the survival of his bondmate.

Still others must be considered. Their family wasn't little anymore. They called Raavik back in and he quickly brought his brother and cousins with him.

"He is still out there somewhere and we must find him," Leonard stated simply.

"Other Federation ships will be here shortly and you need to inform then that we did not survive."

"We cannot tell a lie," Raavik said.

"You do not have to. I was the medical officer on board this vessel I will change any necessary documentation. Also it is not entirely incorrect."

"Then it is true what we have been told?" T'Sal asked softly.

Amanda and Leonard bowed their heads and from their mouths came the voices of another.

"It is."

Salak and T'Par took in the images of their children for the last time. They looked so grown-up now. They would be all right without them.

David approached her first. Like the human name he had been given he was the most emotional of her children and so T'Par allowed him to hug her.

"To be Vulcan is to understand that my life was not forsaken in vain, my son, and so there is no need for untold grief."

"Of course, but it is human to miss your physical presence in my life and to grieve that loss until we can all readjust."

"Of course."

"I love you."

"I know."

David stepped back and let his sisters have their moment.

T'Nika spoke to her mother. "I will tell him all about you. About the sacrifice you have made to ensure his-the galaxy's future."

"Thank you."

T'Sal took her hands.

"It was logical?"

"Always."

"Was there pain?"

"It was minimal; and he was with me."

"As it should be."

"We will miss you."

Leonard took partially control as they all embraced him.

"My girls and my boy, my little boy."

"Always."

Salak looked at his boys. They represented a lifetime shared and a legacy that would carry even though he would no longer be there to see it.

"She must take you to the place of the ancients, father."

"So, she will when the time is right. I loved her dearly in life, my sons. I shall stay with her now until she has completed her task and can take me where I must be."

Selkirk wrapped an arm around his father as Raavik stood stoic and firm. Salak expected no less. They were identical in looks, but their personalities could not be further apart.

"We wish you peace."

"May you both live long and prosper."

"Goodbye."

Selkirk remained where his was as Amanda came back. Raavik approached his mother now…uncertain. She reached out and gripped his hand tightly.

"You will be there for them, give them the peace and serenity that comes with logic?"

"I shall, still I…wish to be more at this time."

"You as you should be and I am so very proud of that Raavik."

She hugged him. He did not respond, but she had not expected him to.

"Kiss mommy goodbye."

He did.

T'Nika remained wrapped around his body as Leonard took full control again and he held her tightly. She was shaking, still recovering from the birth. Tears were collecting in her eyes, but refusing to be shed.

"You must see them before you go, all of you must," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Of course."

XXX

The trip was risky, but it was made none the less. Both Leonard and Amanda wished to see the newest editions to their growing clan. In a way they were a tiny microcosm of what was happening in the galaxy; the results of a Vulcan and Romulan union. Holding the little ones in their arms they looked out to the stars.

Leonard looked down at his grandson, sleeping, unaware of all the change going on around him. "You, you are just starting out your life, and out there a great new undiscovered country is unfolding and I am saddened that I cannot explore it with you."

"But your parents will speak of us and of your great-grandfather and his father and so in this way we shall never be truly gone," Amanda said, to the small bundle in her own arms.

"You two are going to grow up to do great things one day; I can tell. Taking your places among the 'judges and honoured men' that have come before, carrying on their work to the very edges of the universe. To boldly going where no one has gone before."

"And we have a gift to take with you on the journey."

Amanda pressed one finger gently to his temple. Then kissed the tiny eyebrow and whispered his name.

"James."

Leonard mirrored her actions.

"Spock."

(End Chapter 6)