Author's Note: Wow, this took a lot longer than I thought it was going to. I have a few ideas to work with now so hopefully the next update won't take as long, no promises though. To avoid any confusion about the timing: This takes place during the movie after the dinner on the boat that the twins set up for their parents. Enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own The Parent Trap (1998) or any of its characters. ) :

Apologies

It was late, yet sleep refused to come to Elizabeth James. It had been a long day full of plane travel, her daughters' schemes, dinner with her ex-husband, and a little too much alcohol. A sudden dull throb reverberated through her skull, reminding her it had been more than just a little too much. It was funny, because the woman could have sworn that one of the symptoms of a hangover was fatigue, but still she was lying there wide awake watching the digital clock creep past 3AM and sluggishly crawl toward 4. Of course, she had never experienced a hangover before so it was hard for her to say for sure, but the headache seemed to her only ailment. Maybe it wasn't the alcohol at all. After all, hadn't she been perfectly coherent at dinner? Maybe it was just… everything else.

Liz found herself gazing at the two biggest parts of everything else. Her daughters were sleeping peacefully in the second bed in the room, curled up together in a rather adorable fashion. She sighed. Her girls were meant to be together. The last thing the woman wanted was to split them up again, but she knew it was inevitable. Even as she made those ridiculous suggestions to Nick about them taking turns taking both of them, she knew. She couldn't imagine living without at least one of them by her side even if it meant the girls wouldn't be without one another, and she knew Nick probably felt the same. They were selfish in that way. Maybe that had been part of the problem.

The original "solution" they had in place hadn't been either her or Nick's first choice. Neither of them had been happy with raising only one daughter and never knowing the other, but, at the time, it seemed like the best solution. They were both such young hot-heads, Liz doubted they would have been able to be civil even for occasional visits and living on two separate continents already made any possible visits difficult and in need of planning. It was better for them to grow up separately with a relatively happy parent than together with parents who fought the time wasn't it?

The throbbing had become a steady tempo now, and the blonde massaged her temples and tried to remember if she had packed any aspirin. All of those drinks on the plane hadn't been one of her best ideas, but as they had sped steadily toward California and its awaiting conflicts she had needed something to help contain the building pressure.

Elizabeth recalled Hallie's frown as one drink turned into three then into five and then… well, things got a little fuzzy after that. She did, however, remember her daughter's occasional reassurances that their rendezvous with Nick was going to be just fine. Of course, the girl had no way of knowing that seeing Nick again was the cause of only about half of the designer's worries. She didn't seem to realize that reaching California also meant that Liz would have to give her up, again. The girl was too young to understand the pain of giving up one's child, and, of course, Hallie couldn't recall her mother's tears as she had held her as a newborn for the first and what she had assumed would be the last time.

The woman shook her head to rid herself of the painful memory. It hadn't been the last time and Liz was grateful. She would still get to see Hallie. She and Nick had already discussed sending the girls back and forth for the holidays and there were the possibilities of next summer. It still wasn't the ideal situation, but a vast improvement over the previous one and the designer was more than willing to take it. Liz was glad that something long-term had come out of her daughters' sweet but naïve plan to set her and Nick up, even if it probably wasn't what the they were aiming for.

One the twins shifted in her sleep causing the mother's attention to refocus on the two sleeping forms. They hadn't seemed as disappointed as Liz had thought they would be when she informed them that she and Annie would be flying back to London in the morning. Hadn't this whole scheme taken enough time and effort for there to be more of a reaction than the mild disappointment that had been shown earlier? She had been prepared for tears and screaming. It made the woman suspicious. They must have something else up their sleeves. A back-up plan shouldn't really be a surprise after the planning and work that must have gone in to the girls switching places, but, in the end, it wouldn't make a difference. Even if they managed to delay their departure, it was still only just a delay. It didn't matter how many tactics the girls had left because their ultimate goal was a moot point. It didn't matter that Nicolas Parker was a wonderful man, who had grown-up quite nicely in the past eleven years. They were mature adults now with two separate live in two different parts of the world. It didn't matter if she still loved him deep down…

Elizabeth caught herself before her thoughts they could go any further down that forbidden path. Had she just admitted she still loved Nick Parker? She glanced nervously at her sleeping daughters as if her private thought would leak out of her head and enter into theirs'. She shook her throbbing head. Now she was just being ridiculous. It must be the alcohol.

Surely the feelings she was having toward the man were acceptable forms of love. She could love him for being a good father and just being a good person couldn't she? Yes, of course, that must be it. There was no way these feelings were the same ones she had felt for him all those years ago…

But even if they were, (not that she was admitting it, just hypothetically) it still didn't matter. Nick had clearly moved on. He was marrying Meredith in a little over a week and even if he wasn't they lived on opposite sides of the planet and both had demanding careers. No, it was impossible. She wished her girls could see that so further disappointment and heart-break could be avoided. This was for the best.

Yet, as Elizabeth once again found herself gazing at her daughter's peacefully still forms she couldn't help but feel she was utterly robbing them of something vital. The girls would be all right, people grew up with broken families quite frequently now, but she couldn't help but want more for them. She felt, no she knew her daughters deserved better, but it was impossible. Of course, she and Nick would try to give them the closest broken family possible, but with Meredith in the picture the possibility of just the four of them visiting together was all but extinguished. They would try and try hard, but…

"I'm sorry," She whispered into the darkness, hoping that the apology would somehow find its way into her daughters' sub-consciousnesses and ease the pain that was sure to come in the fast-approaching morning. "I'm sorry I can't give you the family you deserve."

Elizabeth rested her head back against her pillow, her head ache now insignificant to the exhaustion that her heavy thoughts had brought on. Tomorrow was going to be a long day…