A/N: I finally finished! To reward you guys for waiting (which I doubt you did... but a person can hope, you know?) I'm posting two chapters! Please enjoy!

Summary: Suddenly, Gintoki, Shinpachi, Hasegawa, Katsura, and Yamazaki appear in the room! And why were they all brought here anyways?

Disclaimer: Gintama is owned by Hideaki Sorachi. If I owned Gintama, I would have named it Kintama.
Also, I have nothing to do with the creations of Vocaloids, or people cosplaying as Vocaloids.

Chapter 2. Truth or Dare is Just a Way For Deprived People to Get Some Action

"Oi, Oogushi-kun, what's wrong with your eyes? Crying because you're so happy to see me?" called out an annoying voice belonging to a certain sugar addict.

"…" Hijikata was depressed as fuck. He sank to his knees, a dark aura blanketing everything within five metres of his body, content to stay there until he could think up of a way to kill the whole lot of them and escape the place himself. Yamazaki chose that moment to disentangle himself from his badminton racket, and run to the Shinsengumi Vice-Chief's side, shouting annoying things like "Vice-Chief, Vice-chief, are you okay?" and "are you suffering from mayo withdrawal?".

Hijikata decided to knock him out with a well aimed elbow to his head.

Then, he refocused on the rest of the group.

"Okita-san, do you know where we are? All the rest of us don't seem to remember anything.." the bland looking boy, Shinpachi asked Sougo, holding a pair of cracked glasses in his hand. He appeared to be the only one in the dishevelled group with any sense of responsibility.

"I have no idea how we all ended up in this situation either, but don't worry, we'll get you to a paramedic immediately. Don't give up." replied the bored looking brunette.

"Oh, that's too bad… wait, what are you saying? I'm fine… In fact I'm not half as injured as Gin-san and -" started the confused boy, only to be cut off by another voice.

"YEAH, LIKE HELL YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE! I saw those two episodes, you know! Besides, you don't really care about poor Shinpachi, do you? You little bastard!" raged Gintoki. "I can't believe you! How dare you treat him like that!"

"Gin-san…" breathed a wide-eyed Shinpachi, starting to tear up a little (though he actually had no idea what Gintoki was getting so worked up over).

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" continued the silver-haired samurai after catching his breath. "Look at him! His lenses are cracked! There are pieces missing! His frame is bent! He's in critical condition! Look, he's not moving, hell, he's not even breathing – "

Gintoki's head was smashed into the ground before he could form another syllable.

"OF COURSE IT'S NOT BREATHING! GLASSES DON'T BREATHE! Am I seriously just a pair of glasses to you? Is that all I am?" screamed the infuriated pair of glasses – I mean boy… Shinpachi… spectacle… human… thing.

"No, Shinpachi. You must not be impatient. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. Even David Suz*ki had to overcome discrimination as a kid." Katsura joined them, brushing dust from his hair as he spoke.

"Katsura-san…?" Shinpachi grasped at the faint hope that someone (even if that someone was a slightly brain-dead Joui radical) still recognised him as a human being.

"Do not fret, for even cracked glasses can one day rise up and topple this corrupt Bakufu government and free the people of Edo from Amanto claws!" The long haired samurai clapped Shinpachi on the back, eyes bright, smiling encouragingly.

His head was swiftly imbedded into the concrete floor, right beside Gintoki's.

"WHY DO ALL OF YOU THINK I'M A PAIR OF GLASSES? And anyways, Katsura-san, you're completely off topic! What are you even trying to say?" screeched Shinpachi, the already cracked pair of glasses shattering into a million tiny pieces in his tight grip.

A muffled mumbling could be heard from the pile of rubble around the Joi radical's head, but before anyone could figure out what he was trying to say, Sougo stepped over the carnage created by Shinpachi, and tugged on Katsura's chain, pulling the samurai's head out of the ground.

"You are under arrest for treachery against the Shogunate. Please do not resist, or I may have to kill you."

Katsura's seemingly dead (or at least unconscious) body continued to stay still and unmoving.

Hijikata raised his head, which had been hanging lower and lower as he listened to the stupid conversation the idiots were having.

"Oi, Sougo. We're all chained up here. How are you supposed to arrest him when you don't even know where we are?" There was not an ounce of emotion in the raven-haired Vice Chief's voice, dark circles already starting to form under his eyes.

"Oh, well I was hoping when Kondo-san found out about my brave capture of a wanted criminal under extremely dangerous conditions, he would promote me to Vice-Chief and leave you to die." the sadist in question answered good-naturedly.

"…fuck you Sougo."

Suddenly a crackling of static was emitted from the monitor on the wall opposite them.

Hijikata immediately jumped to his feet, eyes riveted toward the grainy image on the screen, the sudden movement making him slightly dizzy for a few seconds.

Hope sparked in his heart.

I'm ready for you, Jigzaw. This time, I won't hesitate to cut off anyone's head if it means I get a chance to escape. Hurry up, I'm dying here!

A voice spoke.

"Hello, all my lovely humans. I see you are all awake."

The voice did not belong to Jigzaw, or Hiro-kun, whoever he was. In fact, the voice did not even belong to a male.

Hijikata focused on the video playing on the screen, squinting to make sure his eyes weren't failing him.

There was definitely no creepy, masked figure staring back at him. Instead, there appeared to be a teenaged girl cosplaying as… Hatsune Miki*? (Don't ask him how he knew, the demonic otaku sword had ensured he had kept up to date with anything 2D that was subject to otakuism)

"Let me introduce myself. I am what is known as a fangirl, an empty existence born from nothingness. I have nothing, except for my anime/manga/doujinshi collection, and the fellow fangirls I meet at anime cons." The girl paused to smile at something behind the camera that was filming her. A sudden burst of high pitched giggles erupted from behind the camera.

Damn. There's more than one of them. And where the hell is Jigzaw? How come he was suddenly replaced by a couple of fangirls? What the hell is going on here?

"Let me explain your situation. Look around you." the cosplaying fangirl continued.

Hijikata looked around.

Same room as before, same people as before (although Yamazaki had woken up unbeknownst to him and had joined the rest of the group on the other side of the room , Shinpachi's glasses were magically fixed and resting on his nose, and everyone seemed relatively uninjured despite all that had happened).

Is the author really that lazy? Is she really going to skip describing how the blood miraculously vanished and how a pair of brand new glasses appeared out of nowhere just for her own writing convenience? Besides, if she can do all this, why can't she just hurry up and teleport me out of here?

Hijikata's train of thought was interrupted by the fangirl's voice.

"Have you had a good look? Good, because these will be the people you are staying with for the next few days… or maybe weeks…months…years…. Or maybe even forever!" At this point the girl's face had morphed into something extremely evil and burst of giggles could be heard.

"But let me get straight to the point. We fangirls have brought you here to do one thing, and one thing only. And that is… (insert dramatic pause)… to play Truth or Dare!"

The room echoed with expressions of confusion and disbelief.

"Please, please, quiet down. I will now explain the rules. We fangirls pick who's going, and whether they get a truth or a dare. Then, we pick the truth/dare for you. Sound good?" The girl smiled sweetly.

"That's not even fair!" Hijikata objected. "Why don't we have any say in this? And why do we have to play truth or dare with a bunch of other guys? Just what are you planning?"

"Oh… did I forget to mention something? We aren't just fangirls… we're yaoi fangirls." the girl smiled manically, a strange light glinting in her eyes. "Oh, and just to let you all know, if you do not do a dare, or do not answer a truth, then the author-san will make you experience one of your worst fears. I'm sure you don't want that to happen…"

Oh what the hell? These crazy freaks have connections with the author? This situation is just getting worse and worse…

Over to the side, Gintoki seemed to be freaking out and demanding a carton of strawberry milk, Shinpachi and the shady looking guy (what was his name? Hasegawa?) seemed to be trying to comfort him, Katsura was mumbling something to himself about overthrowing the Bakufu, Sougo was still holding on to Katsura's chain, a bored look on his face, and Yamazaki was struggling to fix his broken badminton racket with his teeth.

Why is there not a single person here that could help me escape? How come none of them are resisting? Why did it have to be them?

"Well, let's not waste any more time… the first dare will be done by Gintoki Sakata. And since I'm personally a huge GinHiji fan, his dare will be to sit in Hijikata's lap, and do anything, anything sexual I mean, of his choice for two minutes." Giggling and murmurs ofanticipation were heard from behind the camera.

Gintoki slowly turned his head to stare at Hijikata, a deer-in-the-headlights look in his usually dead-fish eyes.

"Oh, and we forgot to mention another thing! Whoever is doing the dare will be automatically freed from their chains! Of course, once you're done your dare, the handcuffs will automatically re-lock themselves around your hands (courtesy of author-san's ability to make anything happen) to prevent anything unexpected. Now, go, let's not keep the fangirls waiting!" The screen flickered off.

A click could be heard in the dead silence of the room, as the handcuffs that were once around Gintoki's hands dropped to the floor.

Hijikata cursed the day he was born.

A Few Explanations (actually just one explanation...)

*Hastune Miki - I'm pretty sure you all know this one, but in case you don't, it's a parody of Hastune Miku, a Vocaloid.