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Beneath my Skin

John ran his hand over his tired face and excused himself from the table, he exited the roadhouse and found his youngest son sat on top of the impala liked he had hoped he would be. Ever since Max had confessed to killing her brother Sam had been quieter then he had been before, and John knew this was one conversation he really didn't want to have. John sighed and made his way over to his son, he stood at the side of him, not saying anything, waiting until Sam spoke.

It had been a little under five minuets before Sam even acknowledged his presence, he shifted his weight almost subconsciously closer to his father, a couple of seconds later her turned his head slightly to study the man he had lost all those months ago.

He still looked the same, still had the same aura of authority, he still could make you shrink make and rethink questioning him with just one glance, but he wasn't the same man, something had changed. He still commanded the respect still expected them to fall in line, but Sam knew he had seen horrors beyond anything they had ever seen, he knew he had literally been to hell and back, and that changed a man, the man sat at the side of him was proof of that. If anything he was more understanding, more willing to let things slide, he wanted to be a father and that scared Sam, because he had never known what it was like to have a dad, he had only ever known the drill sergeant, he didn't know what to do with the new man that was sat at the side of him, the man that wanted to talk instead of yelling. He didn't know what to do, but if John was willing to give it a go then so was Sam.

"Couple of days before we came to the roadhouse we were working a case with a telepath, I was dead set on this guy, I thought he was the one doing these murders, but it turned out he had a twin, and he was doing the murders, we were up on a bridge and Dean was over in a nearby field working sniper, the guy made him turn the gun on himself, and this other guy the one that I was so sure was the killer, killed his own brother to save Dean."

John sensed that there was more to the story, that there was more that Sam wanted to tell him, he placed his hand onto his shoulder and squeezed slightly, letting his son know that he was there, Sam turned to face him slightly, and John's heart nearly broke at the sheer pain that was written in his son's eyes.

"Ever since we faced the demon and he said he had plans for me I knew what he meant, I knew that he intended for us to be evil, and ive been trying to tell myself that im not evil, that im not going to go down that path, but listening to Max, watching that guy kill his brother, I cant pretend any more. Im a killer"

John looked at his youngest son and sighed he watched as a small tear ran down the side of his face watched as his hands shook as he tried desperately to control his emotions.

"I can't let that happen, I wont, if I ever become something im not, I need you to end it, I need you to kill me, its probably best if you do it now"

John let his hand drop from his sons shoulder, his mouth hanging open in shock at what he son was asking him to do, he shook his head as the words spun around in his head, im a killer, and you have to kill me. He shook his head once again, no that wasn't going to happen, his son wasn't evil, he wasn't letting that demon take any more of his family, and he certainly wasn't having Sammy.

"Sam look at me…………………..Sam" Sam slowly turned his head to face his father, and John was once again assaulted with the pain in his eyes, pain that know one should ever have to feel. All he wanted to do was take him into his arms, and hide him from the pain, like he should have do so long ago, but he couldn't, he had to make Sam see that he wasn't evil, had to make him understand.

"You are not a killer" Sam went to turn his head, but John grabbed hold of the side of his face forcing him to look at him.

"You are not a killer, you are stronger then that demon, do you understand me, now im sure Dean has told you that over and over again, but im your father and you will listen to me, you are not a killer and you are not evil, do you know why, because me and your brother wont let that happen, do you understand me" Sam nodded his head slowly a whisper of a smile on his face.

"Cant hear you" Sam laughed slightly, the sound foreign to his ears.

"Yes sir" John nodded his head and smiled, before pulling his son into a hug that was long over due. John knew it was going to be difficult, knew that the next couple of months were going to be hard, knew that there were going to be times when Sam doubted himself, but he knew that they were going to make it through, they had to.

Max watched as John left the table and she knew were he was going, after she had finished telling them about her brother, she had watched the reaction on Sams face, had watched as he draw into himself, as his face paled, and eventually he had left the table, slamming the roadhouse door behind him, he hadn't been the only one who hadn't taken the news well, soon after her threat of killing any one who got in her way, Jo had stormed into the back, her door banging shut a moment later, and Max knew It was going to be a while until they were back to normal, if they ever got back to normal. She also knew she was going to want to be in this fight, Jo and her brother had been in love, and she knew Jo was going to want pay back, Jo wasn't going to be the problem; it was going to be getting Ellen to agree with her. Max sighed and left the table, and headed towards the bar.

"Vodka please Ellen" Max asked quietly while seating herself in front of the bar, Ellen turned to face her and raised her brow, thinking that it was far to early in the day for vodka, but just shook her head and passed over a glass and poured in the clear liquid.

"How's Jo doing?" Ellen sighed and leant herself against the bar, he eyes taking in the emotionally worn girl in front of her.

"Hurt, pissed angry, take your pick" Max nodded her head wincing slightly as the vodka made its way down her throat.

"You do know she's going to want to be apart of this fight" Ellen nodded her head, and Max saw for the first time how old and tired the women in front of her looked.

"If you don't let her she's going to do it any way, and likely get herself killed……….let me train her, Ellen I promise you I will let nothing harm her" Ellen looked down at the women she classed as a daughter and smiled sadly. She knew that Max would keep her word, and knew that she would die if it meant keeping her word.

"OK" Max looked up and nodded her head.

Max placed the glass to her lips and downed the liquid in one squinting only slightly as the liquid worked its way down her throat. A hand connected with her shoulder and she spun round to see Dean staring down at her, she smiled and placed her hand over her heart.

"Dean right" Dean nodded his head and smiled, before sitting down at the side of her.

"I didn't mean to scare you" Max smiled and nodded her head.

"Its ok, what's up" Dean smirked slightly and Max rolled her eyes laughing slightly, Deans masculine laughter joining in a second later.

"Well I wanted to thank you for brining my dad back but seems you weren't technically responsible for that, I wanted to see if you were ok"

Max smiled at the man in front of her and then silently scolded herself for the butterflies she felt in her stomach when he returned it. Now was not a time for feeling, emotions were weakness that she could not afford.

"Im fine thanks" Dean raised his brow, his eyes looking down at the now empty vodka glass. Max shook her head.

"Really, that would seem to differ" Max sighed and Dean placed his hand on her knee, Max looked up before quickly removing his hand of her knee, and jumping down from the bar stood made her way outside (the back exit), Dean following her.

Max came to a stop and leant herself against the wall; she began taking deep breaths trying to eradicate the feelings and emotions that had welled up. She was not going to break, she was not going to show weakness. She was not going to let this demon win.

A shadow fell over her and she looked up to see Dean looking down at her a look of sorry and guilt spread across his face.

"You never mourned him did you?" It wasn't a question and Max knew it, but she felt like she had to answer, felt that she had to defend herself to the man in front of her.

"Did you when your dad died" A look of sadness crossed over his face and Max silently cursed herself for her stupidity. She reached out to touch his face and felt him tense under her touch.

"Im sorry" Her voice was soft and tender and dean turned his head so she wouldn't see the moister in his eyes. Max sighed annoyed with how hurtful she had been, she allowed her hand to fall from his face.

"I did mourn I broke my knuckles on a punch bag" Dean looked over at her and laughed softly

"I took a crow bar to my car" Max nodded her head glad that some of the tension between them had been destroyed.

"So do you want to come with while I tell Jo her mums allowed her in the fight" Dean nodded his head and wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her back into the roadhouse. Un aware of the old acquaintance sat in weight for them to enter the roadhouse, resulting in, Max turning to Dean for support, testing Johns strength as a father, and leading to the fight of Sams life.

What would John do to keep his family alive? Would Max kill a second person? And will Dean ever confront his dad about his issues with him? Tune into the next chapter to find out.

Now I know you probably think that Dean is out of character, but at this stage I still think he's vulnerable over his fathers death, and his sudden reappearance, and that he is confused as hell, and he has a lot of issues to work through, and he feels that Max is going through the same sort of thing, so he believes she is the only one he can rely on.

O and think of Max as a female Dean, only she isn't as flirtatious as he is, and she has more problems with showing emotions then Dean does. She's is more closed of from the world then Dean.