So late it's not funny, but I will finish this.
Day11
Theme: Touch
Drown
Part One
No one would believe him if he told them. Probably because all they saw was the face of arrogance and a form that radiated strength, superiority and every other powerful adjective that could be placed to the face of Kanda Yuu. Allen, however, saw the real face; right through the mask and into the soul of a man whose self hatred was stronger than anyone could imagine. His self inflicted wounds were deep ravines etched into the mask, trying—and failing—to protect his heart.
Allen sat with him as he emptied his lungs until the hoarse screams stopped. They were alone. His fingers pulled black locks nearly to the breaking point, just enough to hurt—to burn until he had to let go or risk losing hair. He wouldn't let it get to that point, he had to put the wall back up and pretend he was better than every other motherfucker that even so much as looked at his disgusting face. There was only so much he could curl into himself before he pleaded with himself to just breathe, breathe, breathe, and inhale all the water he could to just drown everything out.
The younger boy next to him wasn't stupid. It wasn't hard to see the deep seated loathing that the man had for the very organization than ran their lives. It wasn't hard to grasp that he had some demons in his closet. He wanted, so badly, to bring light to the man's world—but he knew better than most that the darkness is all consuming if left alone for too long.
Now he was watching him sink. The rain pelted down on them so hard that it felt like needles digging into his skin, but he stayed there for Kanda. He knew that if he left that man alone, they'd find his corpse in the morning—somehow, someway. Neither of them really knew what started this descent this time, but they were riding it out. One holding the life jacket and the other clinging and trying desperately to keep his head above water.
Sometimes, he wasn't sure how to react. Sometimes, he wanted to pull that broken man into an embrace and never let go, but the last thing he needed was to make him angry on top of manic depressive. He just wanted to dig his metaphorical fingers deeper and deeper until he could touch some part of his soul that could drive away the demons. He wanted to drag him into a warm bed and create a bubble for them to lie in until all the suffocating, endless nightmares faded.
His chest constricted when the man's body lurched forward, head hung and helpless. There were no tears, not even hiding in the stinging drops of rain. Kanda Yuu didn't cry, but Allen was sure that if he could…he probably wouldn't stop. Maybe that was why he didn't cry to begin with. When all you know is knife-like stabbing, stinging, burning pain…perhaps you lose the desire to let any part of it show. No matter how much it eats at your heart, etching away your soul like a hammer and chisel.
"I don't need you here," his voice was barely heard through the rain.
"I know you don't."
But I'm here anyway.