Thanks for the reviews guys! Really glad you're enjoying the story, keep them coming
"shhhhh sia sanash." Harry said. He was again teaching Severus parsletoung, and had just told him to have a nice day.
Severus tried copying him, but was having a bit of a problem with it. Harry fought valiantly against a smile, but lost and Severus scowled at him. "what?" he asked, leaning back into the couch. Again they were in the chamber, Harry drinking hot chocolate and Severus a scotch.
"you…that was…" Harry couldn't help it, he had to say the word; "cute."
"cute?" Severus gasped, looking like he had just been given a death sentence.
"you've got a little bit of a lisp." Harry explained, not able to get the smile off of his face. So cute!
Severus pursed his lips and glared at Harry. Harry smiled sweetly back.
"I have been called many things in my time, but never 'cute'" Severus said, utterly taken aback. He was not cute. Evil spies for the dark side where not cute. "first time for everything." Harry said flippantly, before looking Severus over and adding; "besides it's not…wholly inaccurate." Harry said, teasing him happily.
"I am not cute!" Severus objected, incensed. He put his drink down and turned to Harry, who was smirking and stretching his arms over his head, his top riding up and showing his firm abs. He imagined how easy to would be to reach over and pull Severus into his lap.
"You are actually." Harry said. "Especially when you try and deny it." And that time, he kind of meant it, there was something wonderful and soft about Severus sometimes. Not all the time obviously, but when he had a slight blush on his cheeks and that smile on his face…. And Harry really liked that no one else got to see it the way he did.
Severus gaped at him. He still couldn't get over it, cute? Him? "no." he said simply. What was Harry talking about?
"oh come on, you are a little." Harry said, wondering how far he should push this, but loving every second of it. "like when you walk around the halls with your head in the clouds thinking about your potions. You look evil I grant you that, scowling at everything. And I'm not saying you're not intimidating, have no fear….But to anyone in the know, you're day dreaming like everyone else. That's pretty cute." Harry said, unable to resist. He had finally, after all of these years, found a button of Severus which he could push without being in fear of his life. He wanted to use it a little.
It was only after Severus had left, claiming to be greatly insulted with just a hint of a smile on his heart, that Harry really thought about what he had been saying. He had been calling his professor cute…and he had meant it… he swallowed and looked down at his hands.
What did that even mean? Had they been flirting? And how did Severus feel about it all? He hadn't been scared away had he?
At the very least they had been joking together, and that was a big milestone in their relationship. It struck Harry just how backwards that was. Normally people started out with the joking and the light hearted chit chat, working up to the deep, personal stuff, but for them it was the complete opposite, they had just dived right in….
Harry leaned back and tried to think clearly. There were something's he knew and some he wasn't so sure about. He knew he valued the other man's friendship. He knew he had meant what he said. He knew he would miss him if something bad happened and that he took so much pleasure when Severus was happy.
He didn't know how Severus felt about all of this. He didn't even know if he was already in a relationship, although he doubted it. He didn't know if he wanted, or could get, more. He didn't know where this was going.
He closed his eyes and pictured them as a couple. Moody, gloomy Severus. Workaholic Severus. Touchy, demanding, irritable Severus. And him, together.
He found himself smiling. He would like that.
It took Severus longer to realize the potential subtext of their conversation. It had incensed him so much to be called cute, that it took a while for it to sink in.
At that moment, he was just pouring a drink for Draco Malfoy, who was sitting in Severus's living room. He did not make a habit of seeing his godson outside of classroom hours, but he felt it necessary to welcome him back from each of the holidays.
"he…called me cute." Severus answered when Draco casually enquired as to how he and Harry were getting along. A huge smirk split across Draco's face and he was exceedingly glad Severus was looking the other way. "really?" he said, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. Draco was amazed at Harry's forthright nature, but then he usually was. Maybe they didn't need his help after all…
"do you think…he might have been flirting with me?" okay maybe Harry didn't need his help, but Severus sure did. "probably. But then I don't know, I wasn't there, what do you think?" Draco asked silkily. "I think…" Severus started. "I think…I think it's entirely inappropriate to be discussing anything of this sort with one of my students, and even worse to be contemplating possibility of anything happening. Kindly get out. Now." Severus's voice had turned icy and he looked so severe that Draco didn't dare reason with the man.
Draco sighed and stood up, disappointed but not surprised. Severus was usually like this. He got to the door without a word and turned around. "look, just t
hink about it okay? And, although I'm loath to say it, Harry's been good to you, don't just throw it away because he might have freaked you out."
Severus just scowled at him. Draco made sure to slam the portrait behind himself.
The potions master threw himself in to a chair and snorted at the antics of his godson. But now he was at a bit of a loose end. He asked himself much the same questions as Harry, but wasn't anywhere near as satisfied with the answers. He was a much older man, he shouldn't even be this friendly with one of his students let alone think about that. It was sickening. And Harry wasn't flirting with him, he couldn't be, why would someone like that flirt with someone like him? They wouldn't. It would be absurd.
But Severus didn't stop thinking about it all that night, and when he crawled in to bed he sighed, nuzzling his pillow and wishing at least that he was back in the chamber with Harry, so he could be that little bit closer.
He curled up and extinguished the candle. For a the past few years he had believed that he would never find anyone to be with like that, that he had left it too late, that he was too stuck in his ways, too evil…
He didn't like changing his mind on the topic, it was a lot easier to deal with if he didn't have that little shred of hope. But even the tiniest bit of hope could change everything. And it did.
The next morning it was still on their minds, although neither of them showed it of course. Fact, when Harry sat down to breakfast with his house, he asked what seemed to be a totally random question;
"Hermione, are you religious?" Harry couldn't believe he had known her for all these years and didn't know, but he figured it was better to be late than never…
" I was raised Christian, but I've been a Buddhist for a few years now." She said, looking at him curiously. " I didn't know that" Harry said, turning more towards her. "what's it like?"
"oh its really interesting." Hermione said " I can lend you a book on it if you want. But its all about enlightenment and how its desire that leads to unhappiness." "cool." Harry said, and for the first time, perhaps ever, he did ask to borrow the book from Hermione. She looked thrilled.
"what about you mate?" Harry asked Ron. "well the family is really rooted in the old ways, I grew up around that, ad yeah I guess I believe but I don't really practice the way I should." Ron said casually.
"and what's that like?" Again amazed that he didn't know such basic things about his best mate. "pretty cool. It's a very individual religion, but it's all about harmony and karma and stuff." Ron said.
"the interesting thing" Hermione started "is that muggles follow it too, even the magical bit. They can actually perform some of the spells quiet successfully, though it can be very random, and a lot slower. It's called Wicca by the way, or paganism. I thought about that one too."
Harry sat back, stunned. God he had so much to think about. A cloud of unease settled over him. In theory, he had all the all the time in the world to think about these things, with no war hanging over his head….
But still, he felt nervous.
There were so many choices ahead of him, most of which he had never even considered. In a way it was almost simpler when there was just good and evil, and he knew where everything stood.
So yeah, this was kind of scary for him, it was all rushing forward like a waterfall crashing downwards and he was unable to move.