Disclaimer: I do not own nor profit from Twilight or anything related to it.
Rating: R
Pairing: J/B
Beta: Jessipooks:
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/Angst/Lemony
Chapter 2:
While standing in line during graduation practice in full cap and gown, Angela playfully nudged Bella's shoulder and whispered,"Why aren't you more excited about this?"
"I don't know. " Bella sighed loudly.
"Are you down because Edward isn't here today?" Angela questioned.
"No. In fact I'm sort of glad he isn't." Bella said earnestly.
"Oh. What's going on with you two these days? I heard a rumor that he has already proposed marriage and you turned him down. Is it true? Because if it is, I'm seriously disappointedand upset that didn't share this news with me " Angela replied in a stern voice.
"It...well..." Bella stammered. She hatedthe simple fact that she had to hide even something as natural as a marriage proposal from Angela and her other friends. It shouldn't be this complicated and she shouldn't have to lie however, deep down she knew and understood that if she was to co-exist in the supernatural and human world, lying was a necessary evil.
"Well?" Angela cocked an eye brow, flashing her a warning look that she would know if she was lying.
"He did but I said no." Bella rushed out the words before she had time to make up a lie to cover the truth.
"Are you serious? OH MY GOD BELLA! When?" Angela shouted. Bella flinched but saw that everyone was too wrapped up in their own happiness and was totally oblivious to her private conversation.
"When he returned from Italy, he ask me."
"Why in the world would you say no? You're crazy about him, right?" Angela sat down in a chair, tugging Bella's hands to sit down next to her.
"I don't honestly know how I feel about him anymore. I mean, when he left I nearly died with out him but when he returned, I found myself angry with him. He dumped me. He made me feel insignificant. It hurt Angela." Bella's eyes filled with tears as she glanced nervously around the room.
Alice was big on details and she was checking her list and looking ahead in the future to assure Carlisle and Bella that no one would get hurt at the party. Bella knew it was a big step for them to allow outsiders into their home and she knew she was the reason for the party. They wanted her to enjoy the simple things in life. It was kind of ironic since she had never known them to do anything simple.
"I know it did Bella. Everyone was so worried about you. Then suddenly out of the blue you were smiling again. Your face glowed and your eyes sparkled. I honestly thought that you had found love with someone new." Angela replied.
"I...Jake helped me. He helped me forget the pain. He showed me that I could survive without Edward." Bella answered.
"So how did he do that?" Angela asked with a curious gleam in her eyes. She had seen Jake a few times in town and met him a couple of times when he was hanging out with Bella. She and Jessica had agreed he was definitely delicious eye candy. Bella had always spoke of Jake in friend terms, not once didshe hear anything that might drum up suspicion about a potential romance between the two.
"We just hung out in his garage mostly. He has quite a gift as a mechanic."Bella's face lit up with the memory of their days hanging out in the garage together.
"So what happened between you and Jake that has you reconsidering your relationship with Edward?" Angela ask bluntly.
Bella nearly choked. Angela was one of the rare non immortal friends she had and she was also pretty good at reading Bella. Sometimes it was a blessing and sometimes during moments like this, it was a curse.
"Jake has nothing to do with it. I love Edward. I think I will always love him but I'm not big on the whole marriage thing."
"I get not wanting to rush into marriage quite yet but I still think your sudden change of heart about Edward has to do with your involvement with Jake. Come on Bella, you worshipped the ground Edward walked on and okay he did dump you and run off to a foreign country however, the girl I once knew would have taken him back with out any qualms.I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sounds like your heart is conflicted because there is someone else to consider. You used to think no one else existed for you when you first fell for Edward." Angela paused letting her words sink into Bella's thick head before continuing.
"Now, you've spent time with Jake who in a matter of speaking pretty much pieced you back together so it is only natural you would fall for him. I've seen the way he looks at you, its like he could eat you up. In fact he looks at you the way you use to look at Edward." Angela finished with her speech.
"Jake and I are just good, good friends." Bella hated speaking those words out loud. It made what they once shared sound so insignificant but it had been one of the more amazing times in her life. Jake not only healed her but he also made her a woman. He helped her see that sex before marriage wasn't exactly the worse thing a good girl could do. Her cheeks grew warm as she recalled their first time together and how naturally it happened. She didn't have to entice him or make compromises in order to obtain what she wanted, no needed. Edward on the other hand was completely different. It was more of aconstant game of wageringto achieve the same results.
Edward caved into the idea of her becoming a vampire in order to win her trust back when he returned from Italy. However, a few weeks went by and he decided if she wanted him to change her right after High School then she had to agree to marry him first otherwise she would have towait until she finished college. She knew he was hoping to postpone the process until she had been given time to reconsider her options and choose to be human once and for all.
Jakeon the other hand was easy to be around. There was no need to play games or bargain over what they each wanted. Unfortunately, the one thing Jake couldn't give her was immorality. He couldn't share his powerful gifts. Only Edward had that power. It might seem selfish and unbelievable that she would choose immortality over a chance to be in love with a man who made her heart soar and her body shake with passion. She never claimed to be sane. She just knew she didn't want to grow old and die someday,not now that she knew there was another way to live forever and it was right there in front of her. How could anyone simply walk away from such an opportunity?
"If you say so but between us, I think you and Jake found something special and your starting to realize that you gave it up too quickly. I like Edward and with the exception of the hasty break up, he has always treated you well. I just think that Jake brings out the best in you." Angela patted her on the back and they looked at one another and sharedan understanding smile.
XXXX
"I just think that laying under the stars is more romantic than a picnic in the park." Jake debated with Bella over what was the most romantic thing one could do on a date.
Bella stared up at the stars and wondered if that's why he brought her here tonight? Did he consider their time together a "date"? She hoped not. She cared for him and she would always be indebted to him for bringing her out of her darkest moments and back into the light of day but she wasn't ready to fall in love with him or anyone else.
"Umm Jake...why are we here?" Bella rolled her head to the side to study his face. The moonlight shined across it. Bella noticed the small chin hairs starting to grow and wondered if he was letting it grow out on purpose. Normally when she saw him his cheeks were smooth as a baby's bare ass.
"I told you. I wanted to camp out tonight. It's not too bad for this time of the year." Jake rolled his head over so they were looking at one another.
"Okay." Bella gulped when she watched him lick his lips and then suck softly on the bottom lip. She smiled despite the fear that he might be falling for her.
Jake had a sensual way of licking and sucking on his lips when he was nervous or angry. She also noticed lately, that his eyes were so damn adorable. No strike that, they weren't adorable they were sexy.
Where in the world is that coming from? Why am I thinking about his lips and eyes?
"Do you need me to put more wood on?" Jake sat up and stared at the small camp side fire he prepared for them.
"Sure." Bella sat up and rubbed her arms while her eyes watched as Jake complete his task. Glancing behind her she looked at the tent they had put up earlier in the day before the sun set. She was still surprised at how Jake had managed to get Charlie to agree to this night out under the stars.
Normally, Charlie would have had a fit about her spending the night with a guy. She was crystal clear about how much he disapproved of Edward but recently she noticed that he was pushing her hard toward Jake. She wondered if he was trying to do some match making with them. It was a fruitless endeavor. She had her heart broken once and had no plans to have it done again. She learned a hard lesson about how all good things eventually come to an end.
"Come closer to me and I will keep you warmer than the fire." Jake stretched out his arm, inviting her to snuggle up to him. She hated the fact he was right. Jake had incredible heat.
Bella didn't say a word but simply moved into his welcoming arms. For several minutes they remained quite just staring into the fire before the silence was finally broken.
"Quil and Embry are in shock you agreed to come out here with me tonight. They have bets that before the sun rises, you will have me take you back home to the safety of your own bed." Jake informed her with a smug grin.
"Seriously? How much did they bet?" Bella ask curiously.
"Twenty bucks."
"Did you bet?"
"Of course I did." Jake laughed.
"Good." Bella chuckled.
"Why is that good?" Jake's eyes shimmered. Bella could feel his breathe on her face. They were sitting so close and his heat was starting to make her limbs feel weak. There was something sensual in the way he looked at her. The pit of her stomach felt strangely. It reminded her of when she rode on a roller coaster and you went down that first long steep hill. It was scary and exciting all at once.
"Because you need the money to buy me dinner the next time we hang out." Bella joked.
They both knew that she usually did the cooking at her house or his. They rarely went out to eat. They had gone to the movies once before he had his first phase. They also went bowling a couple of times with the guys but nothing romantically involved in their outings. Well, not until now. Now sitting so close to him under the stars she was beginning to see him in a new light. He wasn't just her friend anymore or the guy who made her life bearable to exist in. He was something different but she had no clue how to label it.
"I like that. I mean, you looking forward to hanging out with me more." Jake flash her a sheepish grin.
"Me too." Bella heard herself agreeing.
"Bella, I know you don't like to talk about it but..." Jake's jaw tense up when he saw her smile disappear as he approach the subject of her break up with Edward. He had to explain to her that he wouldn't hurt her like Edward did and if she gave him the chance he could be a better boyfriend for her.
"Please don't." Bella's hand sprung up from her side and covered his mouth.
"I..." Jake stopped all speech when he saw her eyes starting to mist up with tears.
"I like this. I like you." Bella heard herself confessing as her finger tips trail the curve of his lips.
Bella's hand lifted away and before she could think any further about it, she leaned in and kissed him on the lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss, just a slight graze of their lips.
Pulling her face away for a moment she opened her eyes and gazed up at his face. His eyes were partially open as his eyes flash with a desire that match her own. She felt his hands shake nervously on her hips as he grab her, pulling her up against him so that there was nothing between their bodies.
"Bella?" Jake's voice shook as he look deeply into her eyes.
Bella knew he was wondering what brought on her sudden kiss. She normally didn't let him get close enough to kiss her. She had felt the sparks growing between them for weeks now. She had originally hoped it would fade away but it hadn't. Now, she sat in his lap with the opportunity to explore these feelings that he evokes in her. Could she do it? Could she let Jake be the one, her first lover.
Bella started to open her mouth to warn him that she was not in a good place in her life to start up a relationship but she was definitely in need of feeling loved. She knew Jake could give her that.
Before she could express her feelings, his lips covers hers and unlike her innocent kiss, his had a longing in it that swept her away. Her body cried out, her heart leaped with joy, and her heart was telling her that it was okay to give this a try. She was not betraying anyone. She was free to do what ever she desired.
Their hands explored one another while the kisses grew heavier and needier. Bella no longer felt the coolness of the night on her skin but rather the warmth that soared from his body into hers.
"Ahhh..." Jake moaned when Bella pulled her mouth away and began to cover his face with kisses until she found his neck where she couldn't resist nipping playfully.
His hands circled around her back and up to her chest where he cupped both of her breasts over her sweater. She wanted to rip the material right off of her and feel his hands all over her flesh. She felt intoxicated with passion. It was everything she had imagined and more.
"Touch me." Bella whispered into his ears before circling her tongue around it.
Jake didn't falter, his hands slid underneath her sweater and yanked the cotton material beneath her breasts so that both of his hands were planted onto her flesh. His thumbs grazed her harden pebbles, creating a cry of pleasure to shoot through her body and out of her mouth.
"Yesss..." Bella felt her pelvis grinding hard up against him. The mere friction of rubbing up against him made her explode and she felt the aftermath of her cumming into her panties. She was wet, hot and in need of more, much more.
Bella moved back, reaching her hands down she lifted her sweater over her head and gazed hungrily into his eyes.
"Oh sweet Jesus." Jake exhaled sharply as his eyes feasted on her bare breast.
He had always fantasized about seeing them but not once did he think he would get the chance so soon.
His head lean in and with a tenderness that made her head swoon, he licked each of them and then began to suck eagerly, back and forth.
Bella's hands gripped his shoulders. Her body was in paradise. She never wanted these feelings to stop. She felt so alive. She could easily forget the pain of her past and the danger she was still possibly in with Victoria on the loose.
"I need more." Bella pleaded.
"Are you sure?" Jake's head lifted away from her breast and studied her face closely. He was already happy with how far they had gone. He would understand if she didn't want to go much further. Bella was not the slutty type. In fact, if he was correct, she was possibly still a virgin. He knew she and Edward had not done the deed yet but that didn't necessarily mean she hadn't done it with someone back in Arizona.
"No." Bella answered honestly.
"Ummm...then maybe we should slow down." Jake coughed, feeling his balls swelling with an immediate need of release.
"No." Bella shook her head back and forth with a stubborn glint in her eyes.
"I"m confused." Jake chuckled.
"Let's go to the tent and see what happens." Bella suggested, her eyes glancing at the tent where they would have privacy and several sleeping bags that would give them the comfort to explore the wonderful possibilities of their bodies together.
"Okay." Jake lifted her up in his arms and carried her into the tent.
Bella settled down on the sleeping bags, her hands covering her breast as he stood in front of her shirtless but wearing a pair of shorts that prevented her from seeing the rest of him naked.
"Should we take off our clothes?" Jake chewed on his lip looking down at her with a nervous smile.
"Just lay here with me." Bella's hand patted the ground.
Jake knelt down in front of her, leaning his body over hers, his lips met hers. Parting her legs he filled the space in between them, being careful to keep his full weight off of her. She was tiny compared to him. He did not want to cause her any discomfort.
He enjoyed the taste of her mouth. It reminded him of the cinnamon cookies his mother once made for him when he was a child.
His lips slid away from her mouth and glided down her neck causing her body to shake beneath him until he at last reached his goal. Once again he was given permission to lavish her breasts. Her nails sunk into his upper arms as he suckle hard and with leisure.
Shifting his body so that he could rub up against her, he allowed himself to feel her warm center with his hard on. Her legs widen, he smiled knowing she was wanting to feel him against her. He lifted her legs around his waist as he shoved his length against her pelvis, imagining that neither of them had anything on and that he was actually inside of her instead of dry humping her.
Her moans and whispers of need drove him over the edge. Abruptly he pulled away from her, his breathing was long and deep as he gulped several times, trying to fight for control of his body. He was afraid he might hurt her if they kept up like this. His wolf was scratching beneath his skin, demanding they take her. His nostrils flared as he smelled the sweet scent that was rolling out in waves from between her legs.
She was definitely ready for him. If she agreed to have sex he knew there would be no need for lubrication. Her underwear was soaking with desire.
"Take me Jake. Show me how good it can feel." Bella's voice trembled, her eye lids fluttered but what really consumed him with happiness was the way she smiled so tenderly at him. He knew she wouldn't back out. She wanted him as much as he had always wanted her.
Pulling his pants off he took out his wallet and found the protection they would need to prevent any life long consequences. Bella took her own bottoms off while Jake crawled underneath the sleeping bag she had hidden under.
"Are you sure Bella?" Jake had to ask one final time before he pressed her thighs open and crawled in between them.
"I'm never sure about anything but I know I want you." Bella's spoke softly, her cheeks growing pink as they stared into each others eyes.
"Same here." Jake gulped hard.
Taking his manhood in his hand he led it to a tight opening and with a few adjustments he managed to get the tip of it inside when he saw a few tears glistening in her half closed eyes.
"Am i hurting you?" Jake felt awful. He thought she would enjoy it as much as he was.
"A little but it's okay. It should stop hurting once you are all the way in." Bella replied.
"Are you sure?" Jake looked down at his full length and was surprised that just a small amount he had inserted in her was already causing her pain.
"Mmm." Bella bit down on her bottom lip while nodding her head.
Jake clasped his hands on each of her shoulders and with one long, deep thrust he forced his full length in her. Tears spilled out of the corners of her eyes but a smile remained on her lips.
"Yes...keep going." Bella cried out.
Jake bent down and kissed her tears away before he could allow himself to enjoy the moment and appreciate the gift she had given him. He had proof that she had never been with another guy. He was her first, she was his. Together they were starting down a path to adulthood and hopefully the love he felt for her now would always exist in his heart.
XXX
Bella held the picture frame that contained picture of her and Jake sitting on the tailgate of her truck out at First Beach. They had spent so many days and nights playing on the beach and the many different ways one could have sex in the ocean with out being caught by the other horny wolves in the pack.
He told her the water should wash the scent of their lovemaking off before they return to the bonfire with the others. It didn't matter that they hid the sensual scent, the others could see it in their eyes and in the way they clung to one another.
Jake and Bella had gone through so much in the short time that they were together with out the Cullen's interference. Bella's discovery that Jake and the others were supernatural and that her beloved friend could transform into a massive size wolf was one of the biggest surprises of her life. Bella did something stupid to make one final attempt to see the image of Edward in her mind and jump off a cliff that nearly killed her. Jake, being the hero, rescued her and warned her that he would never speak to her again if she did anything remotely dangerous with out forewarning him. Jake taught her how to ride a motorcycle. They spent so many days and nights together, doing things like normal teenagers.
It all came to an abrupt ending when the entire Cullen clan showed up to warn her that Victoria was heading to Forks with a small newborn army of vampires to kill her. At first, she had resisted their offers to help her. She knew the wolves could protect her if necessary but eventually, Alice and Edward had pulled at her heart strings until she caved and allowed them to join in the battle.
Alice suggested that Edward take her up the mountains to keep her away from the battle scene. Reluctantly she agreed to this after Edward promised to remain with her. She knew it was selfish of her to ask him to stay out of a battle that had been caused by their romantic involvement.
The night before they were to depart to their secret destination, Edward did the unimaginable and proposed marriage to her. She was flattered but she was also deeply disappointed. She knew it was just another way to prolong her dream of becoming a vampire and joining the ranks of the supernatural world.
Since he had returned and begged her to forgive him for what he thought was the right thing to do, she had debated on how or if she should tell him about her sexual encounters with Jake. She knew he felt strongly about premarital sex. Although he wanted to wait until he was married, Bella didn't share the same belief. She sadly couldn't see herself getting married anytime soon and there was no way she was going to wait any longer to enjoy the pleasures of sex.
Jake had given her the opportunity to explore these pleasures. They had enjoyed experimenting and learning how to satisfy one another.
However, when Edward returned and offered to give her a chance to be immortal she had denied Jake anymore treasured moments with her. She had sadly informed him that what she once felt for him was not enough. He had been blown away by her rejection. He stood in front of her with tears streaming down his face, begging her to reconsider working things out with Edward.
Bella couldn't do it. She told him that he would always hold a special place in her heart and that she would always remember him. He had thrown such a fit she had actually for the first time feared he might phase and accidentally hurt her.
"Jake, please stop it. Your scaring me." Bella took a few steady steps away from him.
"I'm scaring you? Seriously? Your the one who is wanting to die Bella. You're the one asking vampires to change you into the living dead. Why? Why do you need that so damn much? Why am I not enough for you?" Jake growled, his hands slid around the back of his neck, sinking his nails into his flesh. His heart was breaking and the physical pain he was inflicting helped keep him calm while the wolf in him wanted to burst loose.
"I can't explain it. I really don't know how. I just want to be stronger and live forever. I don't want to be old someday. I don't want to be ordinary Jake. I've always been ordinary." Bella explained.
"Ordinary? You are far from ordinary Bella. Hell, even the pack has said it a million times how you're one of a kind. No other girl would take strange with such grace. And growing old is part of life endures it." Jake cried out angrily.
"Perhaps you are right but for now, well...it's what I want." Bella crossed her arms over her chest, her chin tilting with a stubborn look in her eyes.
"For now? You can't change your mind once it's done Bella." Jake snorted.
"It's my life Jake. I have a right to chose."
"Really? How will you explain this to Charlie? Or wait maybe you will just kill him once you have changed because trust me, you won't be the same loving and compassionate Bella. You will be my enemy. I can't stop the others from hunting you down and tearing you to pieces." Jake warned her. His eyes refilled with more tears to shed.
"I will go away. I won't ever return here." Bella promised.
"That's even worse." Jake sunk his nails deeper in his tender flesh. He felt a warm liquid slide between his fingertips. He was making himself bleed but could not stop himself.
"I'm sorry Jake. I have no answer for you that you will like."
"Don't do this Bella. You've barely begun living your life. Don't throw it away for immortality, strength and all the wealth they have to offer you. Your selling your soul to the devil Bella."
"It's my soul to offer."
"God! I swear if it wouldn't start a war between our packs, I would snatch you up and take you far away from them."
"Don't be ridiculous, Jake. I have a right to do this."
"Yes, you do. Just like I have a right to love you Bella. Yes, I said it. I love you and always have." Jake took quick steps to make up the small distance between them. Taking her arms and pulling them down to her sides, he held her hands between his.
"I love you and I will never stop loving you Bella." He vowed.
"I love you too but Jake that isn't enough." Bella's voice croaked and tears streamed out of her eyes.
"Your being childish and selfish Bella."
"I know."
"Then why are you doing this to me, to us?"
"I told you already, I can't make you understand my reasoning."
"Please wait Bella. Wait a few years. You might learn that being stuck to the Cullen's for an eternity isn't what you dreamed about." Jake hoped he could reach a compromise with her so that he could keep her human for awhile longer.
"I can't Jake." Bella pressed her forehead against his chest while tears fell off of her chin and splash on the ground between them.
"Why the rush sweetheart?"
"I just...don't want to be weak anymore. I want to be something worthy." Bella sob.
"You are worthy just the way you are, honey." Jake cupped her face between his hands and stared into her soft brown eyes.
"Maybe to you I am but not to me."
"I can't let you do this." Jake covered her mouth with his before she could argue any longer. Since Edward's returned he had watch as she quickly drifted away from him. Then on the mountain top when he started to leave to fight, he over heard Edward reminding her that if she would marry him he would change her himself. Jake went blind with rage. He nearly attacked Edward but Bella got between them and Seth too. It took everything he had not to rip the sparkles right off of Edward's cold dead skin with his bare teeth.
Hearing his brothers in battle he turned and storm away but Bella had caught up to him and told him to kiss her. He was surprised by her request. She had made it crystal clear that she wanted to be Edward's girl.
He gave her a kiss that made him drunk with desire. He hoped that when he returned from the battle she would realize that they were much better together than her and Edward. Instead, she had arrived at his home the following day to tell him that she was sticking with Edward and hoped he would come to understand how important he was to her. Jake nearly threw her out of his house. He was so furious and repulsed by her morbid attraction to the cold ones.
He had not heard her from her since until today. She had invited him to her graduation party. He laughed in her face and warn her that she would soon be his enemy and she should get used to not seeing him ever again, unless she wanted to die by one of this brothers.
She slap him across the face, nearly breaking her hand in the process. Before he could get her back in her truck to drive her home, Edward had arrived in a rage of madness. Once Bella explained what happened, Edward had quickly calmed down and gave Jake a understanding look before he led Bella away.
Bella placed the picture back on her desk top. Looking through her closet she began to scan through her usual garments to find something half way decent to wear for tomorrow's graduation and the party following it.
She hoped that somehow Jake might find it in his heart to forgive her even if he couldn't understand her decisions. Tomorrow was one of those monumental days in what was left in her human life. She needed his friendship but would gladly just settle for his presences, it would help ease her frustration and appease her need to see him as much as she could before they were destine to be mortal enemies.