Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything related to it.
Rating: R
Genre:supernatural/romance/angst/lemon
Pairing: J/B
Beta: Jessipooks (You rock girl!)
Pre-readers: Mist/LuvinJ (Always there when I need them)
A/N: Thank you to Brittdock for making such a wonderful video that inspired this short story and also a big thank for always taking the time to help me with my trailers. To everyone who joined and especially to those who left comments, THANK-YOU, for your kindness. xoxo A
Chapter 4:
Lying in her bed andstaring at the ceiling above her, Bella replayed the night in her mind.
Jake had showed up at the party and gave her a wonderful and heartfeltpresent. She had also received a kiss that reminded her of the desire between them and how much she had missed it since they broke up.
Edward was still in the "barely a kiss" stage with her. He didn't even dare to touch her breast in fear he might lose control. It was rather annoying at first but now she was relieved. She knew his touch couldn'tcompare to the way Jake's did. For one thing, his hands were cold and Jake's were warm and secondly, she knew that Jake had more experience at touching her until she screamed from the pleasure of it. Edward had never even touch a woman's breast in his entire existence. The man had the self control of a monk. It irked her how he was always stopping her from expressing her love for him and making her feel sex craved teenager for wanting to move their relationship to the next level.
After the party ended, Edward had offered to walk her to her pickup truck. Bella hadn't been sure if she was disappointed that he didn't offer to visit her later in her bedroom or relieved. He had been acting strangeall day. Her instincts warned her that he had read Jake's mind and knew that she was withholding some major details about how intimate her and Jake's relationship had been.
"Thank you for the party. Are you sure you can't stop by tonight?" Bella asked.
"I'm glad you had a good time but I'm going with Jasper to feed." Edward answered, taking her hand and lifting it up to place a gentle cool kiss upon the back of it.
"Oh. I thought you did that just two days ago?" Bella was pretty sure he mentioned he was going out for a feeding and that's why none of them were at the graduation rehearsal.
"I did but I'm still hungry." Edward chuckled, rubbing his stomach as if it was grumbling.
"What are we doing tomorrow?" Bella knew eventually they were going to have to face what she had done and hopefully work through it.
"I don't know yet. I will call you tomorrow to set up something." Edward dropped her hand and opened the truck door for her.
"Drive safely." Edward smiled at her but she noticed it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Okay." Bella smiled back but like him, her eyes also were filled with sadness.
Charlie was passed out in his recliner when she got home. After debating for several minutes she decided to sneak out of the house and go see Jake.
Jake.
His kiss had left her longing for more. She needed to feel him all around her. She was cold and tired and Jake always provided her with energy and warmth that reminded her she was alive.
Pulling back the curtain she stared out at the woods that bordered their property. She wondered if Jake was out on patrol tonight or was he at the beach hanging out with the gang.
Grabbing her phone out of her purse she dialed his number. It rang several times and she was about to hang up before it went to voice mail when Jake answered it.
"Hello." His voice was soft as the wind making her heart skip a extra beat.
"Hey." Bella looked out the window at the full moon.
"Are you home already?" Jake wondered.
"Yes. Charlie is passed out and I can't sleep."
"Sorry." Jake wanted to invite himself over but knew it would only make him sound like her lap dog. He wanted her to need him in her life the way he had always needed her.
"Yeah, so I was thinking...maybe I could come out there if you're not busy." Bella bit down on her lower lip, saying a silent prayer that he wouldn't reject her self invite.
"Sure." Jake hoped he sounded casual and not as happy as he was feeling inside.
"Good. See you soon." Bella hung up the phoneand placed it in her pocket. Grabbing her keys and coat she stealthily slip past Charlie.
She was glad that Alice was no longer watching her every move now that Victoria was kindly explain to Alice that she didn't appreciate her snitching to Edward about her every move and made Alice promise to withhold anything she saw from Edward.
. Alice reluctantly agreed. She understood Bella's need for privacy and respected it now that they knew she was out of danger.
Pulling into the driveway of the Black's residence she suddenly found herself second guessing her decision to come. It was nearly midnight and Charlie had no clue she had come and gone from the house.
Turning the truck off she sat in it for a few minutes mulling over why she had felt so compelled to visit Jake tonight. Was it the gift that had melted her heart or was it the kiss that melted her whole body? Either way she was here and when she saw him approaching the truck, she felt her entire body start to gravitate toward him.
She started to open the door but he was already doing it for her. Taking her hand, he assisted her out and then surprisingly wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up off the ground. With a big bear hug and a couple of spins he finally set her back down on her own two feet. She laugh merrily. Jake always brought out the best in her. The only times the two of them ever had bad feelings with one another was when she broke up with him to return to Edward and when she mentioned wanting to become a vampire. Other than those two things, they were always enjoying one each other's company no matter what activity they participated in.
"Does Charlie know you're here this late?" Jake asked curiously.
"What? I'm eighteen and I graduated from High School today. I think my days of getting permission have expired." Bella smiled smugly.
"Yeah, okay." Jake laughed knowing that neither of those excuses would matter to her dad. Charlie loved Bella and would always be extra protective of his only child.
"Dad is already passed out. We can hang out in the garage or go for a walk."Jake offered.
"Walk." Bella glanced at the garage, millions of memories of the two of them touching, kissing and making love passed through her mind.
She wasn't entirely sure why she was even here but she was going to try and keep things as non-physical as possible.
"Walk it is." Jake took her hand and lead her down the dirt road that would eventually take them to a creek and an area where he once took her camping. The moment he recalled their camping experience he was hit with the memory of their first time together.
He wasn't sure entirely why she had shown up tonight. When he left her at the party earlier, he was pretty sure she had made up her mind to remain with the Cullen's and eventually become an official member of their family. Now she was here and he was hoping like hell this was a good sign that she was having doubts about going down the path that would lead to her death.
They walk for several minutes quietly, listening to the sounds of the animals and the soft breeze that slipped in and out of the tree limbs.
"I'm sorry for upsetting you at your party." Jake blurted out, breaking the silence between them.
"You didn't. I mean, you did but I get why. You're a good friend Jake. In fact you're my best friend." Bella leaned her head against his muscular arm.
"Is that all I will ever be to you?" Jake hated to ruin the moment between them but he needed to be clear on where they stood with one another.
"You know you are much more than that." Bella lifted her head, looking up at him with a soft smile.
Jake wanted her to explain further but decided he would wait until they reached the place that had special meaning to them both.
When they arrived there were still a small remains of their old camp fire and a tent that had seen better days. He had thought about burning up the tent after she broke up with him but when he reached it, he found himself wanting to hold on to it more than the need to destroy it.
"You never took it down." Bella gasped.
"It crossed my mind." Jake admitted.
"Why didn't you?" Bella turned and faced him.
"Because it was a special night to me. I finally got to be with the one girl I would always love." Jake confessed.
"Why do you love me?" Bella released his hand, placing both of her hands in her back pocket while she stared intensely at him.
"Are you kidding me? Why wouldn't I love you? You're beautiful inside and out. You're funny, smart and compassionate. You are down to earth and you make me feel like I could be anything and do anything. You are like a star in the night. You brighten up my life." Jake finally spoke the words he had rehearsed so many times before when he considered the same question.
"Would you love me even if I got wrinkles, fat and gray hair?"
"I've told you before I would. You know Bella I'm going to age too."
Bella frowned at him.
"I will start aging once I stop phasing. I don't plan on being a wolf forever. We already have several more young ones joining the pack so I could easily walk away from it and know that my people are safe." Jake realized for the first time that no one had ever explained that to Bella before was no wonder she feared she would grow old while he would stay young. His situation wasn't entirely like Edward's. He had a choice about his immortality.
"You would do that? You would give up the power and the magic of it all?" Bella was shocked.
"Of course I would. I never asked for this Bella. I had no choice but to become what was necessary to protect our people from the vampires, but we are all given a choice to walk away from it if we desire it. I told you before, I could have been Alpha but I declined it, not just because of the responsibility but mostly because I wanted to have a normal life someday." Jake filled up the space between them. Placing his hands on both sides of her face, he planted a tender kiss on her lips.
"I love you Bella Swan and I want to spend the rest of my mortal life with you." Jake declared with a heart felt look in his eyes.
"I can't believe you don't want it. I mean, who wants to grow old and die when they don't have to?" Bella was still confused by how easy he made it sound. He had been born with the gift to fight and live forever. Why would he care so little about it?
"It has been an honor to be a part of the pack but I don't feel like it's my destiny to remain a wolf for the rest of my life. Who knows, maybe someday one of my children will inherit the gift and it will continue through him or her." Jake shrugged his shoulders in a casual gesture.
"I wish I could feel good about growing old like you do." Bella exhaled loudly.
Jake wrapped his arms around her forcing her face to press against his chest. Kissing the top of her head he laughed softly.
"Bella, we are human. It's part of our journey to grow old but honey, we have plenty of time to enjoy our youth. You're so busy thinking about the future that you lost sight of the present."
"I guess you're right." Bella felt strangely lighter and less scared of what lied ahead for her.
"Do you love me Bella?" Jake pulled away just enough so that he could look at her face.
"I do love you. It scares me but I do." Bella answered honestly and without hesitation.
"Don't give up your family, me and all the possibilities of our future just for a chance to live forever." He pleaded.
Bella's mind went blank. She was so unsure of what to think or say. He had given her some valid points about why it was better to remain an ordinary human.
"Let's start a fire." Jake released her and went in search of some fire wood while Bella took a peek in the tent and saw two sleeping bags rolled up in the corner. Rubbing her arms from the chill she laughed gently as she recalled how awkward it had been after they had sex the first time. Neither of them could find the words to express how happy they were about no longer being virgins. They fell asleep in each other's arms until early dawn when Jake had woken her up with a morning woody curled up against her back side. She had woken him up for one more chance of making love before she would be forced to return home that day.
"There you are. I was afraid you might have left." Jake stepped into the tent behind her. Bella looked behind him and saw that he had already started the fire.
"I don't think I can leave you." Bella blurted out instantly. Both her and Jake were happily surprised by her admission.
"Are we speaking about tonight or ever?" Jake grabbed her narrow waist and pulled her up against him.
"Both." Bella felt happy tears spring into her eyes when he kissed her. This was what love was supposed to feel like. Jake had shown her that if they both grew old together they could still spend many years of happiness before the reaper came knocking at their door. She understood that fifty years of happiness with the person you loved more than anything was far more valuable than hundreds of years with a man you couldn't even see yourself marrying.
Bella melted in his arms and she knew she wouldn't be returning home until the sun rose in the morning. Tonight was going to be a repeat of the first night she saw Jake with a different set of eyes. On that night, the veil was lifted and she saw Jake as much more than her friend and hero but also as the man who had mended her broken heart and showed her what real love was supposed to feel like.
XXX
When Bella arrived home later the next day, Charlie didn't seem too upset by her alibi when she confessed that she had returned from the party but grew restless so she went to La Push and spent it with Jake. Charlie however did seem a bit perplexed.
"Who are you dating exactly these days?" Charlie scratched his head, giving her a look that warned her she was possibility playing with fire.
"I don't know." Bella admitted.
"Well, whoever it is you better let the other one know it's over. Edward was at the house at eight o'clock this morning. He seemed pretty upset that you weren't here." Charlie warned her.
"OH." Bella's face began to grow hot with shame.
"So if I were you, I would choose one of them and fast. I don't want to have to break up any fights." Charlie pressed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the house.
Bella stood there thinking about her night with Jake and how perfect it felt to be held in his arms. She suspected Edward somehow knew she had gone off to see Jake last night. Perhaps he had stopped by after all and found her missing. Either way, she knew there was no way she could lie nor did she want to. It wasunfair to dismiss her feelings for Jake so easily when Edward begged her for another chance.
She had fallen in love with Jake while Edward was gone. This made her question whether her feelings for Edward had been true. Was it possible that part of her infatuation with him lied in him being a vampire? Could Jake be right, that if they were just two ordinary men, would she still choose Edward over him?
At times like this she wished she could persuade Edward to make love to her so she could know once and for all which of the two was the perfect match for her. Jake was the only guy she had any real experience with and yes, he was definitely a skilled lover but what if Edward was just as apt as well?
They both loved her equally, they both were protective of her, and they both saw her for who she was but only one of them understood her.
A knocking at the door interrupted her train of thought. Opening the door she wasn't entirely surprised to find Edward but she wasn't prepared for it all the same. She knew they were about to have the "break up" conversation and that this time, it would be final and she would no longer see Edward or his family ever again.
"You were with him." It was a statement not a question.
"Yes." Bella nodded her head and took a step back so he could enter the house. She didn't want the whole neighborhood to be a witness to their scene.
"Why? Why do you want him?" Edward stared angrily at her.
"I love him." Bella finally spoke the words out loud that would put the nails in the coffin for their relationship.
"I get that but you love me too." Edward's face showed the pain and anger he was wrestling with.
"I do." Bella agreed.
"Then why are you choosing him over me?" Edward's voice was laced with heartache that made Bella's stomach sick with guilt.
"You were the one who told me over and over again it was best to remain human. Well, if I do that then I will grow old and you won't. I can't stand the thought of you looking at me like that."
"Wrinkles won't change my feelings for you." Edward reached out and pushed a loose piece of hair behind her ear.
"No it wouldn't but it would kill me. It would make me envious of you and eventually I would grow to resent you." Bella spoke earnestly.
"I know you had...you and Jake wereintimate." Edward had hoped he would be able to forget that Bella and Jacob had push their relationship in a direction that he was not willing to go with her. Now that she was choosing Jake over him, it was hard not to bring up the subject.
"I know. I'm sorry Edward for hurting you but I'm human and I wanted to experience a human need. I tried to wait for you but you want marriage first and I'm not willing to wait that long." Bella hated seeing the hurt in his eyes but at least she wasn't denying what she had shared with Jake.
"Is that it? I mean, is that REALLY why your choosing Jake. Are you sure your not just choosing him because he is willing to be intimate with you, while I'm not. "
"Don't be stupid Edward. I won't deny that it does deepen my bond with him."
"So it makes you feel what, more loved?" Edward cried out.
"No, it makes me feel human. It reminds me that I'm alive and it makes me feel incredibly strong."
Edward stood there speechless. He had been afraid that sex had played a role in Bella's final decision. He wasn't accusing her of only choosing Jake because of it but he knew it was a major component in her decision making.
"When I leave it will be forever Bella. I can't come back and see you with him." Edward warned her.
"I understand. I wish there was some other way but you told me that in order for you to change me I would be required to marry you and honestly, I don't see that future with you."
"Are you saying that our love wouldn't last forever? " Edward frowned at her.
"You were my first love Edward. I've had some really strange and exciting times with you but what you have been telling me for the past two years about how horrific it would be for me to leave my family and friends just to live forever is a cost I'm not ready to make."
Edward studied her face for a few moments before he yanked her in his arms and held her tightly.
"I love you Bella and I don't think I will ever love anyone like you again."
"You will." Bella whispered into his cold chest.
"Good-bye Bella." Edward kissed her fully on the lips before he flashed out of the room, leaving her next to the open door.
"Good bye Edward." Bella whispered as tears streamed down her face.
XXX
Bella sat at her desk and wrote a letter to Jake before the cab arrived. She left a note on the fridge for her father but planned to call him once she got to the airport to let him know she was safe and would return to him.
Slipping the letter into the strawberry scented envelope she taped it next to the fridge. She had asked her father to take it to Jake . She had to leave town now before she changed her mind.
After Edward and his family left town the following day of their break up, she had almost found herself falling back into a deep and dark depressing state.
When Jake called her that evening she ignored it. She suspected he would try to sneak into her room later that night so she made plans to spend the night at Angela's. Angela listened to her explain how she had chosen Jake over Edward but for some odd reason she still didn't feel content with her decision. Angela suggested she get away for awhile. From the moment she had arrived in Forks she had been in a relationship with Edward or Jake. Angela suggested she needed some time to reflect on why things were so difficult when love should be so easy.
Bella heard the honking of the cab and found herself hesitating about her trip. Would Jake understand why she had left so soon after her break up with Edward? Would he give her enough space and time to know if he was the right choice? On the bright side, he would at least get the satisfaction of knowing she would remain mortal and that would hopefully ease his suffering while she was away.
Grabbing her bags she left the house with all the memories of her teenage angst years behind her.
XXX
Jake received the letter the following day that she left for Florida. He was thrilled to learn the Cullen's had left and that Bella had gone in a complete different direction.
He understood her need to leave town but he wished she would have given him the opportunity to see her off. Their relationship was still up in the air. She had only confirmed that she would no longer be apart of Edward Cullen's world and remain human but she never spoke of their future in the letter he received.
He waited patiently for her but soon a month turn into six months and he was starting to fear that she had started her life over and might never return to the place where she first found love and heartache.
XXX
Staring out at the lethargic waves Bella closed her eyes. She enjoyed the warm days here but she also missed the cool nights in La Push. Who was she kidding, she really missed Jake more than anything else. He was always on her mind. She had thought that perhaps with time away that her love for Jake might waver but it hadn't, not even an ounce. She was still craving his touch and missing the sound of his voice.
Edward on the other hand, she had found herself thinking fondly of their time together but relieved that she had not taken the detrimental path he had offered.
She understood now why both men warned her she needed time to think about her decision. She left Forks six months ago with the intentions of just staying for a month at her moms but when her return day arrived, she didn't even bother to pack. Her mother was just as surprised as she was.
Bella had found herself revealing to her mother about her triangle relationship with Jake and Edward, of course she left out the scary parts. Her mother had agreed that getting away from them both to sort out her feelings with out any pressure from either of them. Bella figured Edward wasn't even a consideration since he made it clear he was going to leave her life forever.
Then one night he arrived at her mother's house with a sad smile on his face and announced he had changed his mind and was willing to give them one more try. Bella wondered what happened to the girl he once loved because when he spoke the words her heart was empty to his pain.
"No Edward. I made my choice." Bella stood tall while looking him straight in the eyes.
"I know but I thought since you didn't return you might have changed your mind." Edward looked hopeful.
"I just wanted to figure out what I want with the rest of my life. It has nothing to do with you."
"I see." Edward was deeply disappointed.
" I realized that I like having my options open. I mean, if someday I want to have children I can. I can get married. I can go to college. I can open my own business. There are so many things still available to be despite my short length of time as a human." Bella wanted him to understand she had accepted that she would grow old and die eventually, like she was meant too.
"What about ….him?" Edward was happy for her when it came to remaining human but his heart was still jealous that Jake would get to spend the rest of his life with Bella, unlike himself.
"I love him. I strongly believe Jake and I were meant to be together. Everything feels so natural, so right between us. What happens next for us, I honestly don't know but I'm okay with that." Bella answered.
"I'm glad your happy. Good luck Bella and hopefully I get the chance to see you once more before ….well...good luck." Edward pressed a bittersweet kiss on her cheek before walking away.
Bella headed home from the beach and began to pack up her things. She knew now that in her heart no matter what came her away, she would have Jake by her side. She just hoped that he didn't regret giving up his wolf heritage to live out his life with her. They both were giving up a chance at immortality but the years they had ahead of them were going to be the best years any one could ever wish for.
XXX
Bella arrived at the Black's house just as the sun began to set. She told Charlie after she arrived back home she had no plans to live at home for expected him to be upset when she revealed that she had plans on getting her own place and once Jake agreed to it, she was going to have him live with her. Charlie shocked her when he grab her up in his arms and swung her around the room. He told her she had his blessing, they both did.
Bella unpacked her things and then ran to town for a few errands before she made her way to Jake's. She picked up a pizza, a six pack of sodas, and a copy of Face Punch.
Knocking on the door she held her breathe and hoped like hell she wasn't too late. Her love hadn't wavered but what if Jake's had? He was an attractive man and had needs. What if he caved into one of the many women that hit on him? Oh God, what if he fell for one of them? All these uncertainties and fears suddenly engulfed her until the door opened and Jake stood before her with a familiar light in his eyes as he looked at her.
"Bella." Jake produced a crooked smile.
"So I was in the neighborhood and was thinking about our first date and how we never did finish watching the movie." Bella glanced down at the movie lodged between her upper arm and breast.
"And I know how hungry you always are." Bella finished, shoving the pizza toward him.
"I'm starving." Jake's smile grew larger and his eyes glowed with a desire that made Bella's knees nearly buckle under her. She had a feeling he wasn't speaking entirely about the pizza and his hunger.
"Good. Cause I'm here to serve you." Bella felt her lips curl up in a big smile and knew her eyes matched the passion she saw in his.
"Get in here before the rest of the pack gets a whiff of that pizza." Jake took the pizza in one hand and placed his other hand around her waist.
Bella's heart skip ten extra beats and all her earlier fears were vanquished. She had been silly to think for one second that Jake's love would ever go away. What she and Jake shared was natural and perfect just the way it was designed to be.
XXX
The End
A/N: I will be posting a Eppy soon, in case you want to know what happened next. xoxo