Rebel
Chapter Title: Children
Pairings: N/A
Warnings: Implied murder, violence against children
Author's Notes: Now, for all of you wondering why I hadn't mentioned Kyo yet…
I was on a playground. I didn't know where the playground was, or why I was here, but I was. It was cold, and a layer of fog swirled around the play structure.
I stood just by the slide, breath misting in white puffs. My teeth chattered.
I watched a little boy go down the slide, laughing. His bright orange hair frizzing in the humidity, his red eyes wide as he squealed with delight. The little boy seemed achingly familiar.
Then a little girl, a girl I recognized as a much younger me, slid down the slide, screaming at the top of her lungs, and giggling, silver pig tails bouncing as tiny arms waved back and forth. As she came off the end of the slide, she started after the boy, still giggling, disappearing into the fog.
I started to walk after them, but their screams turned from delight to, screeches of agony and terror. My heart stopped, blood going cold, and my stomach dropped to my feet.
I ran, arms pumping at my side as the screams rose to shrieks. I couldn't seem to run fast enough, tripping and stumbling, pushing off of trees for extra momentum.
Each shriek grated on me, scratching my nerves raw. Tears froze on my cheeks in the cold mist, blurring my vision.
I reached the break in the fog just as the cries came to an abrupt stop, the playground eerily quiet.
The little boy was nowhere to be seen, a strange brown little monster in the clearing over a red silver mess. Red was splattered all over its face. The smell was awful. I fell to my knees, choking, as my mind finally made sense of the red and silver mess.
It was me. It was me. That little girl, the younger me. Me.
I woke screaming.
X.x.X.x.X
I called Ha'ri every morning before my tai chi classes, before my writing workshop, and after dinner.
He didn't even answer when I used Aya's cell.
I was getting depressed, and I knew it was obvious. The photographer said my skin was a little blotchier than normal; it'd need airbrushing. And that I had lost more weight than healthy. My hips were my greatest appeal, next to my hair, which was looking less shiny as well.
It's been two weeks since Ha'ri started ignoring me. Aya's put me on paid leave for a week to sort everything out. I was grateful; it's expensive for him to do that, especially right before a catalog comes out.
Now it was about 6pm, the sun already down and casting dazzling streams of rainbows over the snow in front of Ha'ri's house.
I knocked, and as I had expected, he didn't answer. So I waited.
I was so tired of all of this. I wanted to apologize, to make up. I wanted my best friend back. Why did he insist on ignoring me? I didn't even know what I'd done. Was it really so awful?
Yawning, cutting it off with a cough, I glanced down at my watch, checking the time. I was so cold, my arm trembled and I fought to keep my teeth from chattering. I had walked here in the snow, and my tights were soaked through.
7:30.
I got up from my seat on his steps, and knocked again. And again. And again. I stood there knocking for a whole half hour, not caring how desperate I was behaving. I needed him back. I couldn't lose him.
Was he okay? Had something happened? Why didn't Aya know what was going on?
Angry, I kicked the door, giving up on knocking.
I glanced up, seeing something out of the corner of my eye then, and looked at the window beside the door. A shadow hovered just behind the curtains.
Coughing into my elbow, lungs heaving, chest aching from the cold, I kicked the door again, glaring at the shadow in the window. "Why are you being so childish?" I screamed at the door as the shadow dissapeared from the window. My toe hurt from kicking, so I switched to my hands, beating at the door with a fist. "Open up, dammit!" I punctuated the profanity with another kick to the door, then keeled over my stomach, coughing, face screwed up in pain.
It burned to breath, the ice freezing down my throat till I coughed up mucus to clear it, and my foot throbbed. I'd probably bruised it. My whole up torso ached, feeling too tight and too cold, and I couldn't stop coughing now.
I'd left my inhaler at home.
I collapsed onto my knees, still coughing. I couldn't breathe, now. I couldn't get in a single breath. I stared down at the dirty slush on his doorstep, my head spinning, black spots blocking out parts of my vision. My body felt like it was falling, spinning, tumbling, black and white fireworks dancing before my eyes. My side was soaked, and I tasted slush in my mouth. I coughed again, blood tingling on my tongue.
And next thing I knew, I was suddenly warmer, smaller, but still coughing. My tail curled around me, and as I buried my nose in the fur in my side, trying to warm up, trying to breath, I realized I'd transformed.
The last thing I heard before my head went scremaing into oblivion was the door opening, warm light caressing my silvery fur, and Ha'ri's voice.
If I'd been able to breath, I would have smiled. I loved his voice. And I'd missed it terribly.
After that, though, it was the nothingness of unconciousness.
X.x.X.x.X
I woke to the sound of glass shattering. I jolted up, surprise, but the room, white blaring light, spun, my eyes dancing after stars, every muscle in my body crying out in agony. My chest burned, my skin sore and cracking, and it felt like my guts were twisting up inside me in all sorts of unnatural positions.
I leaned over the side of the bed, acid burning up my throat. I puked up, and I still gagged. I forced myself not to dry wretch, a skill I'd picked up after many months of constant hangovers.
Whimpering, I cradled my head, blinking to clear the tears from my eyes.
When I was able to focus, I saw Ha'ri bringing me a bucket, water, toast and advil all piled up on a tray.
Gratefully, I reached for the advil, swallowing it dry.
"What broke?" I asked, my voice cracking. I tried to clear it, but it just made it hurt more. Waving away the toast and water, I grabbed the bucket. Eating would just make me throw up again right now.
"I knocked over a vase," Hatori replied calmly, setting the tray down on a stand beside the bed. I nodded, and my sinuses swam, my headache suddenly becoming so much worse. I felt exhausted already, as if just sitting up for this long had drained me of all my energy.
"Why are you ignoring me? Asshole," I grumbled. It was his fault I passed out, I figured. He could have opened the god damned door a whole lot sooner.
"You should have gone home."
"You should have opened your fucking door," I snapped, glaring at him.
"This is not my fault," Hatori said, starting to sound angry himself.
"The hell it isn't!" I argued, fisting my hands in the sheets to steady myself. I felt like my brain was swirling around in circles. "Why won't you talk to me?"
"I don't want to get wrapped up in this," he said calmly, turning his back to me. "You should go to med school."
I deadpanned. "You ignored me for a month over med school?" I screamed, furious. The exertion hurt, and I curled over coughing, my body trembling.
"You shouldn't stress yourself," he scolded, handing me the glass of water.
I sipped from it, cradling it between my hands like it was the only thing keeping me in the here and now. "Fuck off," I muttered, staring down into the glass, refusing to look at him.
"Why can't you just do as you're told?" Hatori growled out, the anger back all of a sudden. He always hated it when I cussed.
"Why should I?" I retorted, feeling vindictive and childish. I wanted him to hurt just as much as he had hurt me. I wanted payback.
"I don't want you to end up like me!" He said, raising his voice. My eyes widened in surprise, and I turned to look at him then. Ha'ri was really mad. He'd never raised his voice at me before. Ever. No matter what stupid things I had done, he had never raised his voice at me.
"Why is med school so important?" I asked, voice soft and confused. Why did it matter to him so much?
"It's not the school, Mikumi, it's why," he growled, eyes darkening with rage.
"I don't understand what you mean, Ha'ri," I said, real fear clawing at my throat.
"It's your only way out, you're only chance to escape, and you're giving it up for a crush." That hurt. I winced, looking away.
It's more than a crush, I thought to myself. It's you. "What, so you want me to leave?" I asked, agitated.
"Yes, Miku. Dammit, of course I want you to go!"
"Fine. I'm gone." I got to my feet, pure rage making my entire body tremble, and I left, slamming the door behind me.