If you're just here for the newest chapter, I'll copy the bad news at the top of the last one: the two fan-favourite chapters, the recaps, will not be posted over here. The first featured Karkat answering a Strong Bad Email, and the second was along the same vein. Both included recaps of the events that had come before, on reader request at the time. Unfortunately my hands are tied: both are in script format and this site does not allow script format posts. As with colour formatting, those chapters can be found at Archive of Our Own.

- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] -

TT: Kan?
TT: You There?

No reply. Rose sighed, taking off her hubtopband and wandering over in the direction of Tavros. She knew Kanaya had her computer on her, since Rose had given her a marbled lavender skinned clone of the hubtopband as a gift. On the other hand, if Kanaya was in her room alone she was certainly messing around with her clothes, and who knew where the computer would end up? The room was quiet at least for a few moments longer, besides something Feferi whispered to Sollux that she did not catch. Rose figured it was probably best to confer with Tavros just in case there was anything else he wanted before everyone started to get back from lunch, particularly—

"Roz, we have to talk."

Rose absorbed her headbandtop into her sylladex as fast as she could lest she clench it to pieces. She tried to round to Eridan with a straight face, but he made it impossible. The tone, but moreover the way that he stood – full straight and arms crossed, tapping his foot and a finger as though waiting for something she owed him – would not allow it.

"What is it?" she demanded back. She looked him up and down, especially the face, trying to figure out if maybe Tavros was attracted to him for some physical reason, perhaps. She was having trouble with it. He had nice enough eyes, she supposed, and the moulting had done a fair job on his frame. Sburb's levelling system worked its magic without physical impact, and the Troll's maxed Vim had no benefit to their appearance on its own. On the other hand, if Tavros had been looking for fitness, there was enough of that going around, and Tavros spent more than enough private time with Equius.

Eridan pointed to the far corner of the room, between Aradia and Nepeta's computers. Rose shrugged and followed him. She would never have admitted it, but she looked his backside up and down as well, just to be thorough, and began making a mental list of failings. She would admit that if she had been less cranky with him, she would have been far less critical, but she had not been having a good day since the whole auspistice reveal, and he just kept standing in the middle of it. What he said next only temporarily reinforced her criticisms.

"I heard what you and Vris were taking about," he said, as though that were an accusation.

"Oh did you?" Rose replied, crossing her own arms. "What's the problem, then?"

"What's the problem? wwhats the fucking problem she asks. Roz, everything you just did is a fucking problem. You're going behind my back on this auspistice thing, you're trying to put me in hands of fucking Vris…"

Rose, having taken a position closer to the wall, had to get out of her comfortable lean just to protest. "Whoa, Eridan, I am not going behind your back on anything. What part of 'you and Tavros' didn't you understand?"

"Tav and I are fine!" he snapped, loud enough that the others heard him. Vriska and Feferi looked up to see what the big deal was; Tavros twisted around a few times before finally giving up on his leg. He cocked his head to one side instead. Eridan noticed the activity and lowered his voice. "I don't need you mucking it up."

"Yeah, the way I hear it, you were mucking it up just fine on your own."

Eridan snarled at her, barred teeth and all. "What do you know, anyway?" Rose felt fairly certain from his reaction that she was dealing with a wounded pride, but he did not let her stick to that one argument. "And Vris! Holy shit, Roz, I thought you had some sense. You really think Vris is going to give me some great advice when she hates my guts? nevver mind that you're acting like wwe should be clubs and spades for one another at the exact same time that's just fucking nasty"

Rose decided it would be better to talk rather than let him see her react: "That's the second time you've called me gross today, Eridan. Better be careful or I'll start to think you're interested."

Eridan began to sputter, and was more than a little conscious of the tiny corner he had trapped the both of them. "d-don't be stupid roz i'm only barely ashen for you"

Rose decided to take advantage of his squirming and inched forward as though she had done so to be heard at a softer whisper. "Uh-huh. But me with Tavros is totally out of line?"

"That… th- wwe… I really don't see how that affects anything."

Rose leaned even closer as he continued to shirk away. "I really didn't think you could afford to be that picky."

"I'm serious, Roz," he stammered. "Tav and I are fine and you'd just muck it up. You wanna help me? You help me with Vris, and that's final."

Rose had some trouble maintaining her cool after that. Of course he had every right to turn her away from his relationship, but why did he have to be so damned rude about it? "You know, I don't see why you think you've really got a chance with Vriska even with an auspistice. You've already botched it with her and you're pretty much botched it with Tavros, too! He's not even sure if you give a damn. You want some relationship advice? Change your attitude. That one's free."

She pushed past him with her shoulder and gave what came out like an unladylike snort she was not exactly proud of but was willing to work with. Eridan jumped back to avoid her, and there was a great crashing sound from behind him, which Rose assumed for one bright moment implied that he had jumped into the pile of spare and junk parts Equius kept near Aradia's desk. By the look on his face so did he, at least until they both heard Feferi moan from behind his back.

"TZ, what was that for?"

They looked and saw that quite the scene had developed while they were absorbed in bothering one another. Feferi was pulling herself to her feet from what looked like a face plant, Sollux pointing and gesturing, Terezi stoic and solid with her cane between her feet. Aradia was ignoring the entire affair, plugged securely into her computer.

"Uggh… what was that for?" Feferi asked, a hand rubbing at her forehead.

"OH, 1 TH1NK YOU KNOW" Terezi said with her characteristic grin. Rose did her best to take in the scene, but beyond that Terezi had just tripped Feferi, it was not going very well. She had certainly put in some effort to cross the room to do it. "You're smart. We've been keeping you away from Aradia for weeks now! 1 JUST F1GUR3D 1T W4S T1M3 TO CUT TH3 SUBTL3 H1NTS and hit you in the head with it. Well…" she reached out her cane and tapped it on the floor in front of Feferi. "1T AND TH3 FLOOR" And she giggled in that cackling way only Terezi could.

"Well at least she's feeling better," Rose muttered aloud, but had barely finished the thought when she had to stick out a hand and grab Eridan by the shoulder before he charged in after Terezi. Her reproach was echoed by Sollux ("Hey, piss off, Ampora!") and even Feferi ("Eridan, please.").

Terezi just started to laugh. "Oh yeah, Ampora, go charging right in there, that's really… H3H3H3H3… really charming."

"Terezi…" Sollux said, his heart not really into the caution.

"H4H4H4H4! But he gets to be the fuckin hero, fef!" And she grinned specifically at Eridan, her eyes dark and stormy but her grin set and bronzed from practice. "And I sort of wanna watch." But the malicious flash vanished and she clapped Feferi on the back, almost knocking her back to the ground.

Feferi's face had gradually fallen as she heard Terezi talk. "You... don't want me to talk to Aradia? W-why? Who's 'we'?"

Terezi just grinned as ever. "Orders." Rose, from her better angle, caught sight of something else: Sollux, wincing.

That's what this is all about? Rose had a little trouble believing that. True, some of the others had been making a bad habit of keeping Feferi from talking to Aradia. Heck, Rose was fairly sure she had seen virtually all of them, perhaps at the exclusion of Equius. But Rose she did not really know why it was happening, and certainly didn't think whatever it was warranted tripping Feferi, especially within earshot of Aradia. What could possibly be the harm in a conversation? Even from where Rose was standing it was clear that Feferi was fighting off a show of emotion through sheer regal discipline.

The pain on Feferi's face rang a bell in Rose's mind, and she braced on Eridan before he even had a chance to react. "Look," she said, pulling him back towards her so that she would have spoken practically into his ear if not for his recent growth spurt. "Sit down, on your own, and stay out of this." He turned his head slightly, as though listening, but could not quite tear his eyes off of Feferi. "This is none of your business," she cautioned.

Terezi clucked her tongue. "Sollux, I really thought you'd have told her by now. Really, that's just irresponsible."

Feferi's expression slipped ever so slightly. "Wait, you knew? Sollux!"

Sollux slid his chair away from her, hands up, and started to speak before Terezi interrupted him. Aradia stayed where she was. It was not clear she was even listening in. "Princess," Terezi said, "everybody knew. Except you, apparently. 1 DON'T R34LLY S33 HOW YOU D1DN'T WORK 1T OUT 4LR34DY"

Terezi's motive were making less sense to Rose with every word. First she trips her and then she riles her? With Terezi now at her back, Feferi was not even trying to keep up appearances, and the expression of hurt and betrayal showed in her body language even from behind. Eridan actually bit his lower lip as he tried to follow Rose's advice to stay put, but torn somewhere between unrequited matespritship, unrequited kismesissitude for Sollux and what Rose had a good idea he was thinking about Terezi, he was not looking good. He held up one fist clenched and the fuckin hero look Terezi had been taunting him about had started to crawl onto his face. Rose felt a simultaneous smattering of emotions, most of which wanted to wipe that look off his face and the rest wanted to wipe that look off his face before he did something stupid. After all, wasn't that just common decency?

"Sollux…"

Sollux held up his hands. "Now it's not quite like that..."

And then she was angry. "Don't you talk to me like that!"

Eridan's reaction was immediate, the synchronous reaction of a moirail, Rose supposed. Rose stepped immediately in front of him. His face was of stupid, random Troll fury, and his height and lightning horns made him stand out like a raging, random thunder god in a moment of uncharacteristic triumph. But when he looked down towards Rose to see why she had cut him off, something changed in his expression. A look passed over his face: first surprise, but then another that lingered, a look Rose had only seen once before, on Vriska. For just a split second, Eridan looked open, even pleading.

Rose took a deep breath, and followed her instincts as best she could: she stepped forward, until they were almost touching, and took her other arm to his side, not unalike to Tavros and his roleplay with Vriska. She gave him a light shake and said, clear and enunciated: "I will handle this."

Falling apart before her eyes, she saw the stupid hero look disappear and Eridan slowly nodded. "…Okay Roz," he said. "I… okay."

Rose almost completely dropped the ball at that. Eridan's fist opened and he patted her twice on the shoulder before he stepped away to his computer. That was the reaction she had been hoping for, but getting it was a different matter entirely. As she turned, Rose thought she might have seen Feferi watching them out of the corner of her eye, but the Alternian princess was mostly preoccupied by a new rash of Terezi's taunts. Rose bit her own lip. She had all day to work through weird new feelings after all. First she had to deal with unwelcome old ones.

"Terezi, what the hell?"

Terezi looked up with an ugly glow, and Rose realized that, apparently random violence aside, this was the old Terezi Pyrope back in the field, crass and dominant. There was no doubt that she had been expecting Rose's arrival and was even prepared to deal with it. Rose honestly had no idea where she had come from so suddenly, considering the moping girl she had seen at the keyboard a few minutes prior.

"H1 ROS3" Terezi chirped. "How are you this fine afternoon?"

"Just fine, thanks, until a few seconds ago when people started tripping people for no good reason."

"Ah yes," Terezi said, looking upwards as though lost in a pleasant memory. "Regrettable. …But really funny." She looked back at the others to see if they agreed. "…Maybe you had to be there?"

Sollux pointed to Rose and spoke as a means of breaking the awkward pause. "This is none of your business," he said past his lisp.

"I'm mediating," Rose said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Yeah, for him," he replied, pointing towards Eridan, whose computer activities were now only a perfunctory sideline to his eavesdropping. "And it's definitely none of his business."

"Oh yeah, you've got a lot of say in whose business things are today, don't you?" snapped Feferi. Sollux sunk a little more into his chair.

"Sweet burn, Peixes," Terezi said, leaning forward on her cane. Rose shot her a glare, but that only made Terezi grin wider. Rose decided that that was a dead end and returned instead to the couple.

"Okay, maybe the melodrama behind this isn't my business but I'd still like to know why the hell this went from interrupting to outright tripping."

"Yes, thank you!" Feferi said. "Yeah! Don't think I didn't notice all the other times."

"…after we tripped you," Terezi egged.

"You shut up with that 'we' crap, eh?" Sollux spoke tough but reeled back from Terezi's unbroken grin. "Fef, maybe we should get out of here to talk about this."

Feferi stomped her foot. "Oh yeah, go crawl up and—"

"No, no!" It was Terezi, leaning almost improbably forward so she could speak in a whisper that she nevertheless carried over-loud. "Go and lock him out! It'll be funny!"

Feferi fumed, whirling on Terezi as though about to turn the fight back her way. Rose had never actually seen Feferi angry before, or even in combat, but the princess carried herself with more grace while enraged than when bubbly or serious. She also found that she was armed and a deadly set of teeth and her eyes flashed magenta against the yellow in a way Rose had never seen on the land Trolls. But while Rose could not help but back away despite not even being the subject of the glare, Terezi did not even flinch to a more secure position on her cane. The stare-down held for a time, but it was Feferi who broke. Disciplined still, she pushed past and disappeared into the transportalizer.

"Wait!" Sollux started, and was halfway to his feet before Rose shoved him back into place. "…Listen… you," he said, growling up at Rose and confirming her pet theory that he still had yet to memorize the humans' names. "I don't really give a shit just how much Eridan and Tavros and Vriska think of you, you don't have any right to keep me here when I should be talking to my damn matesprit!"

"Yeah, well, consider this a present from a single guy who hates your guts," she replied, pushing him back into the chair. "Now let's talk about this display, shall we? This is absurd! Why are you tripping up your girlfriend just to keep her from talking to someone else?"

"I didn't want her tripped!" Sollux shouted, wrenching off her hand and jumping to his feet at once. "Why don't you ask her?" It took all of Rose's power not to give him ground as he stomped into her personal space, but she immediately regretted it and backed off. Even Sollux, who had kept his cool through the entire battle with the imps in the vault, had the ancestral temper of the Trolls, and Rose found that she had no more desire to stand in front of him than she had any of the others.

Rose turned instead to Terezi, who shrugged and repeated her earlier answer: "Orders."

"Bullshit," Sollux sputtered, though he did not look entirely sure of himself.

Luckily for Rose, it was at that moment that Aradia decided to join the conversation. "I have my own suspicions about this," she said. Sollux seemed surprised to hear it. "About a month ago," she said, still facing her computer as she pulled the plug from her head, "I started coming back to my senses and Sollux and I had a… a talk. Our second. The first was when I was still preoccupied with the horrorterrors and I had not been very polite."

Sollux's temper cooled at seeing her join the conversation and he slumped down, half-sitting on the edge of the desk. "W-we were pretty close before… uh…"

Rose's eyes darted toward Terezi, but she had suddenly lost her smile. Rose, nervously pushing back her hair behind an ear, muttered, "I've heard."

Sollux nodded. "I guess after all was said and done and we had said good... goodnight, I really had to, uh, talk to FF."

Aradia picked up from there: "The next day the princess started to show an express interest in talking to me, but did not seem to have built up the courage. I don't quite understand what it was about."

"She... she started to treat me like one of her fucking cephalopods!" Sollux said. "Kept talking about how she wanted to 'fix things'! She's always doing 'projects', but I didn't get it! The night after talking to AD, FF had been..." He looked around for words, and as though realizing for the first time that Feferi had gone and he had stayed, he hung his head instead. "...everything I needed. I didn't need her to fix anything!" He hung his head. "And then KK..."

Rose turned to Terezi. "'Orders?'"

Terezi coughed, and spoke in a gray-tinged inflection. "IF ANY OF YOU NOOKSNIFFERS LET PRINCESS HOLLYJOLLY DRAG MEGIDO INTO ANOTHER FUCKING GHOST DEPRESSION OVER HER DEAD RELATIONSHIP, I WILL..." Terezi rolled her hand in the air a few times to represent the usual bevy of Karkat-isms. "...Sorry, Megido," Terezi added, still smiling.

"Not at all," Aradia said, not registering any surprise even if she was experiencing it. "I had suspected as much a few dozen interruptions back."

"Sollux," Rose said, though she was disappointed to find that he had buried his face in his hands. She had seen enough of him to recognize the symptoms of his bipolar disorder, but she did not truly know how to approach it. "You knew about this?

"Yes."

"And did you at least talk to Feferi?"

His eyes, glared out over the top of his fingers. "JD, don't—"

"Rose."

"Right. don't get me confu2ed wiith the 2tupiid briigade you've been hangiing out wiith, okay? remember who you're dealiing wiith here and giive me a break from the adole2cent mii2take2 playbook."

"Sollux," Aradia said, passing between he and Rose, "I'm going to head out."

"Thanks, AD," he said, and she passed without word or gesture, leaving Rose to only ponder exactly how the two of them stood. Sollux finished his explanation: "ii a2ked kk two help me buy tiime 2o 2he and ii could talk, just for the day, but she wouldn't even listen to me and before I knew it everyone was just assuming Karkat had given some sort of order about it."

He gestured toward Terezi, whose dominant mood and grin had returned not long at all after the discussion of Aradia's death had mopped up. "That wasn't an order? I'm shocked!" She did not even pretend.

"And this tripping?"

Sollux lowered his eyes. "That wasn't me."

Rose, whose mood had fallen considerably across the span of the conversation, could do nothing more than step aside. "Go," she said to Sollux. "Tell her it was my fault you were late. Bang on the… transporter or something."

"Thank you," Sollux jibed, his earlier mood returning, and he left without another word. Rose was left alone with Terezi, still leaning on her cane, looking like a jaundiced Jack-o-lantern.

"So, what?" Rose asked. "It's pretty obvious you've got no reason for that trip. Does knocking people down make you feel better? Puts you back in charge?"

"Oh Rose, you're like one of your little policehumans today, aren't you?" Terezi stood up straight and began to swing her cane in an arc. "We had a nice talk earlier, don't you think? That was fun."

'Fun' was a warning, but Rose knew that Terezi knew Rose would have no way of knowing for what. She prepared herself for a sudden shift in conversation, a verbal assault, because frankly, if it came to the physical…

Rose barely had enough time to catch the ground with her arms.

Terezi unhooked her dragon cane grip from behind Rose's ankle and stepped up to her side, sliding down the cane to rest just above her face. Terezi sniffed and touched Rose's face to get a better grasp of her emotions, and finally just outright licked her on the cheekbone, perhaps hoping for pain tears. "You're not a cop, Lalonde. I'm the law here, and no little talk gives you the right to say HOW 1 DO 1T" WIth that, Terezi started to get up to leave. "We never talked."

But despite Terezi's ultimatum, Rose was not going to just lay there in the indignity. After all, Sburb had gifted her with seventy-six levels of unnatural speed and strength all her own, and she snapped a hand up in between Terezi's and slammed the unprepared cane down to the ground and a new dent in the floor. That caught the Troll girl's interest, and when Rose pulled herself up to her knees, hair dishevelled, gripping the cane in alternate positions with Terezi's hands, she met a look ripe with anticipation.

"All right," Rose started. "Fine. I don't have any right to tell you how to do what you do. That's your moirail's job. I get that. I get that you're upset," she said specifically at a whisper, "I've been there. You want to go tear up a few people to make yourself feel better? It's a bad idea, but I can't do anything about it. I get it. What about you? How much has not 'getting' humans helped you this morning?"

Terezi's grin faded: it was clear that bringing up Dave had cut through Terezi's defences. There, Rose saw an opportunity to stick something to her that might not get lost in the parts of Terezi's mind dedicated to turnabouts and verbal ripostes.

"So here's your chance to learn something, Terezi: I know some of you can't stand that, but try to get that we're going to butt our heads in from time to time. Because we care, and that's what we do when we care. I'm not asking you to take it! Just don't act so damn surprised when it happens. I don't want to have to preface everything I say any more than you do."

Terezi lowered her eyes at Rose for a moment, a stare-off, but but then her smile returned in a flash and she did the one thing Rose had not expected. "All right. Deal."

"I… pardon?"

Terezi wrenched the cane away in a spin Rose could not have dreamed of coping with. "I said I'm sorry. Wow, that is totally left field for you! You weren't ready for it at all! That's adorable." Rose frowned, which only made Terezi smile the broader. It was a misleading smile, the kind Terezi wore when she was covering for some other emotion. Perhaps Rose had caused her to dwell on Dave, or the argument that morning, but in the end it was still a smile, genuine and bright. "OPT1M1SM, ROS3 Oh, pardon me. you're jd, ii forgot." Terezi set her cane behind her and swayed against it as she walked in reverse. "Quid pro quo! You do me good and I'll do you!" She pulled the cane back out and shook it at Rose. "…Don't trip yourself standing up there, okay?"

And she headed off down the hall towards the cafeteria. Rose shook her head to clear it but was not having much luck. Had that really went as well as it seemed? She started to stand but instantly buckled and had to catch her weight on her hands. Looking down she found that (she had no idea when) Terezi had tied her shoes together. Fumbling with the knot, she missed most of a conversation that appeared to have taken place in the hall. All she heard was a relatively civil tone ended with a bout of maniacal, teal laughter, and Karkat storming out of the hall.

"ALRIGHT FUCKERS," he said to his tailing audience. "I AM STARTING THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW. EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS EXACTLY WHERE YOU DAMN WELL WERE!"

He glanced confused over at Rose for a moment, but regained his composure in only two strides and was soon fumbling with the DVD player. Rose, for her part, tried best to ignore him and shifted over to Eridan, whose expression was mixed.

"Eridan, can you trust me that I think Sollux should at least have a chance to handle this with Feferi?"

"Are… you all right?" he asked.

Rose made a face. "Well it's not that bad a suggestion."

"No, I mean, you…" He reached up and rubbed the back of his head vigorously.

"Oh!" Rose followed her lead and checked the back of her own head. "I… no, I'm fine. Thank you." Eridan nodded politely. "Now, about Feferi?"

"I'll… wait," he replied, ruefully. "And as for Terezi, th… thank you. I don't care what happened to her today, she had no right-"

"That," Rose said, as she reached a hand up to her temple to spawn her hubtopband, "was personal." But she smiled, and privately, he smiled back. "You're… still not going to let me help out you and Tavros, are you?" Eridan shook his head, though to Rose's relief he only did so after a pause. Karkat, in the distance, outright dimmed the lights, since no one in the room but Vriska and Rose were ignoring the film. "…Movie's starting. Go join your boyfriend." Eridan nodded silently and left Rose alone.

GA: Hi, Rose.
GA: Sorry I Missed You. I Was Just Fiddling Around With My Stuff.
TT: Hi Kan. I Hope I Haven't Kept You Waiting.
GA: A Little. The Silly Back-And-Forth Of Internet Communication Continues.
TT: That's All Right.
TT: I Was Hoping That Maybe I Could Come Up Now Instead Of Later.
TT: I Don't Mean To Use You As A Cushion, But I Really Need To Rest And Clear My Head.

There was a notable pause, during which Rose heard the crescendo of company logos go by on the screen. Not far away from where she stood, she almost made out the sound of Eridan and Tavros, whispering to one another.

GA: Right Now? I May Need Some Time To Clean Up.
GA: Give Me Ten Minutes, Then You Can Use Me As A Cushion Or Whatever You Just Said.
TT: Thank You.
GA: What Does That Even Mean?
GA: Do I Want To Know?
TT: Heh. It Doesn't Mean Anything At All.
GA: Then Cushion Away! I guess.
TT: See You In Ten, Then!
GA: Goodbye.
TT: Bye.

Rose replaced the band in her inventory. Beyond the pause, Rose was not really picking up any of the awkwardness in Kanaya's text that she had picked up in their conversation earlier in the day. Maybe a good crop of fashion work had cleared her head. On the other hand, like she had said ages before, text was far from sight and sound. One way or another way, she had ten minutes to whittle away, and she felt she had might as well spend it on the movie. At least, she did at first.

She took to standing just beside and to the back of the couch, behind Nepeta, as it were, who had taken a seat under the left arm. From there, quite unintentionally even for Nepeta, they shared the perfect spot from which to eavesdrop on Tavros and Eridan.

"wOW, eRIDAN, i NEVER SAID I THOUGHT OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS DEAD,"

"Really? Not even to Roz?"

"…oH."

On the screen, the pre-film propaganda had begun. A blonde adult Troll was explaining the intrinsic value of daily hygiene, specifically means of getting blood out of clothes. As he wrapped up, a trailer for a naval epic with no apparent Earth equivalent began. Rose was having quite a bit of trouble even pretending to pay attention to the screen, and apparently so were the others.

"Tav, I swear, I don't know where you got that idea, but I'm sorry because there's nothing in the wworld that wwould stop me from showwing you howw much you mean to me. if i kneww you wwere that concerned i'd havve been right there on hands and knees to showw you just how… what, what is it?"

Tavros, even timid, sleepy-eyed Tavros, was laughing. "I'm sorry, you're just so over the top." Eridan, deflated, crossed his arms and tried to shrink away, to which Rose expected Tavros would recant, but he did nothing of the sort. Rather, he held out his hand to touch Eridan's leg, and said, "It's perfect 'you.'"

A muffled noise started up near Rose's leg: the barely recognizable sound of Nepeta squealing into her cuff. To her right, Rose heard Karkat say something to the effect "Oh for fuck's sake…" before retrieving his crabtop and distracting himself with the power of the internet.

Eridan took Tavros' hand in his own and leaned forward to whisper: "Tav, I'm…" But he cut himself off and pressed forward into a kiss, unpractised but enthusiastic both, and Nepeta exploded into a burst of sound before collapsing to the ground.

"Uh…" said Jade, on whose leg her head had landed. "Are you okay?"

"Don't touch me," Nepeta squeaked, dreamily. "i just died."

Everyone was more or less spying on the two at this point, but it was not all peace and voyeurism. "Oh shoot," John said at one point, and he nudged Rose aside so that he could climb over the back of the couch. Rose turned and saw the source of his speed: Vriska, forgotten on one side of the room, was watching the kiss with an emotionally torn apoplexy, and Rose could not really hear what John said to her before they both slipped away into the transportalizer.

Rose could not help but feel sorry for Vriska, but perhaps she had not quite "turned into Kanaya" yet. Making everyone happy was a reach, and this seemed to have done well enough. Even Karkat seemed to have a moment of quiet happiness, as he retrieved his broom of office to shuffle the happy couple into "not disrupting the fucking movie." Rose had really not done any auspisticing that day, just a little match making. But now she found that she had a piece of her mind that reached out for another chance, because those two smiles had warmed her heart in a strange, different way: her first taste of being just a little more like the Trolls.

"Eridan… I've been up all night and I think I'm going to fall asleep on your shoulder."

"Tav, don't do that, we're in roller chairs, we'll just go sliding across the room."

"Heh, yeah."

A snap shook Rose back to alertness, just as the movie was beginning to start. "Hey! Clubbed Douche." Karkat fell back to the couch and replaced his crabtop in his inventory. "Maryam says hustle up, and you tell her I'm not a fucking answering machine."

Rose picked up the pillow from John's side of the couch and tossed it at Karkat. "Yeah, I'll get right on that," she said, and left the room. She took the transportalizer, reasoning there was no reason to hide from it all day, and hoping that her good mood would overcome the Elder Gods the same way it had that morning when she had come off from talking to her friends. She was right, their voices seemed all the quieter, except for one.

"Walk the high road, silver in your footsteps and a shadow bright as day," he said in only a few words of the elder tongue and the voice, only heard briefly, of the Draconian Dignitary.

"Pride," Rose greeted, and she felt the mental image impressed upon her mind of a glass of champagne raised in a toast.

One thing that's not immediately clear from this version is that Terezi does impressions of the other Trolls quite frequently. I had to adjust a few lines so that their mimicked quirks would even become apparent at all with just italics.