Disclaimer: All i own is my Original character and the rabid plotbunny that spawned her. Enjoy this load of fun fueled rubbish, if you dare.

20 years ago

"Elle! Oi! El- Oh, right. Stupid deaf girl." Simon jogged over and tapped the teenager on the shoulder with forced patience. An earth caked face looked up at him from the flowerbeds, tilted to one side.

"Go." He pointed over his shoulder towards the tools sheds "Tim wants you. No, not me. TIM. Big guy, round, speaks a lot." He mimed the appropriate actions of holding his hand up high, circling it to indicate a large girth, then tapped the fingers of one hand against the thumb to indicate talking. Elle nodded, dusting loose dirt from her trousers and heading towards the shed.

She ignored the muttered comments of Simon about how ignorant she was, knowing that if he knew she could hear him he wouldn't be saying such stuff aloud. It was at times like this she regretted the decision to not reveal that she was neither deaf nor mute. But it had it's perks. Like hearing Tim singing while he cooked because he thought no one could hear him pretending to be an opera singer. A very bad opera singer.

Tim smiled at her as she entered, his hands tumbling over each other in greeting. She returned it, her hands dancing through the motion of the language that had sprung up between them in the past decade. It was the only way of communication, miming, speaking with her hands. She could give up the game, of course, but after so long of not using her voice, she was half afraid that she couldn't anymore. That he would throw her out if he knew she could cope with the world on her own much better than he thought. That he would hate her for playing what had started as a little trick and had turned into full blown deceit.

You okay?

Fine, it's a nice day. Bit bored.

How do you feel about a little outing?

Where?

The library. Need some books taken back, but I'm busy here.

Elle hesitated, her hands pausing. Tim didn't look at all busy. In fact, there was nothing that really needed doing around the garden except feeding the birds in the beehives, make sure the trout was still alive and do a little weeding and mow the lawn.

Is this a test Tim?

What do you mean?

Sending me out to do something on my own for t he first time. You're testing me right?

No...well. I really do need those books to be taken back. The librarian may look like a meek young man, but he's like an animal when it comes to his books.

And it's just a happy coincidence that this will be a chance for me to go out into the city on my own without you watching over me?

Yes.

Yeah, right. I'll take them though. Can't have a librarian on our tail can we?

Say what you like L, I'm telling you the guy is an animal.

Elle rolled her eyes and took the books he handed her, excited despite herself. She was being given time to herself! Solitude was quite usual to her due to the gardens large size and the fact that hardly anyone even tried to communicate with her. They didn't see the point, and she had to admit they were justified. Why talk to someone who isn't ever going to reply?

Tim shoved a few coins into her hand, along with another pencil.

Get yourself something nice. You got your notebook, right?

When don't I?

Okay. Silly thing to say. Well, see you later.

The closest thing she had to a father straightened up and nodded, going back to his desk. He was a good man, but a bit too...gruff for feelings. Emotionally handicapped, as seemed to be the case with a lot of men she'd observed. But he meant well.

"Take care Ellie." He muttered, knowing she couldn't possibly hear him. The way he liked it. It was too awkward, too personal to tell her that he had always wanted children and the only one he'd ever got was her. He'd whispered it to her once late at night, not signing it to her. It was all he could ever bring himself to do. An indirect way of telling his adopted daughter he loved her. So that he could content himself in knowing that he had told her, he had said the words, even if she hadn't heard them. But she had heard them. And it killed her every time that she couldn't reply without revealing her deceit. That she could hear him. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that she could speak, also.

The door closed behind her, shutting away the guilt. She was going into the city for the first time on her own! For a fifteen year old girl whose whole world and only acquaintances were within these walls, it was like Hogswatch had come early.

The city reminded her of some prehistoric beast in that it was enormous, loud and above all, it smelled. The reek of it was worse beyond the walls of the palace grounds. She knew her way to the university by a little drawing Tim had done; turnwise down Broadway, through the maul to the plaza of broken moons and then down to Sator square and through the door into the library. Deja vu hit her as she wandered alongside the wall, peeking up at the top as if expecting to see a figure all made of darkness. There was nothing there except wilting ivy and a pigeon who promptly attempted to relieve itself on her head.

Ducking to the side, she hurried along to the library, determined to get the delivery of books over as quickly as possible so that she could look in the nearby shops instead, or take a look at the guild buildings. She might even pop into the guild of plumbers and ask if there was anyone brave enough to attempt fixing the garden fountain. So far it had claimed 4.25 plumbers(1) and one stone cherub. It probably wasn't even worth fixing, but it was a way to delay returning home.

(1) It had claimed only the arm of one man when he was foolish enough to try and reach inside it to unblock something and found himself suddenly bereft of his right arm.

The library welcomed her into its dusty embrace, the smell of old books promising hours of searching and not much finding. There was a desk at what was probably the middle of the library at which a very unassuming looking wizard look. There was something very quiet and polite about the way he looked up at her when she handed the books over. What the hell was Tim on about ? If this guys an animal he's something quiet. Like a slug. Or a tortoise. A tortoise is nicer. If he wasn't so...ginger and beardy he could be. A hairy ginger tortoise would be wrong. Her thoughts chased themselves in pointless circles around her brain.

"These books are late. You will need to pay a fine." The wizard was suddenly looking at her like she'd suggested the mass murder of children.

Drawing out the omnipresent notebook and pencil from her back pocket, she resigned herself to writing in laborious, rounded letters.

I'm sorry, but I'm deaf as well as Mute, so can you write what you said on here, or else mouth or mime it to me? I'm really sorry for the inconvenience

She hesitated, ridiculously tempted to draw a sad face, but this wasn't one of the other gardeners. She doubted that this guy would take it quite as well. As it was, when she handed him the notebook he simply sighed before holding his hand out for the pencil.

Your books are late back, so there's a fine to be payed. These books are a whole year late. That will be five dollars.

Elle blew out a gust of air. Now she could see what Tim meant by the guy being a little...odd. Due to his anger on certain key words he'd scored through the paper with the pencil, marking the piece of paper underneath. Trust Tim to think that his books were due back today instead of this day last year. She emptied the money she'd been given by Tim and some change she'd had in her pocket dejectedly, knowing there was no chance she had enough to pay the fine. 3 dollars, 10 shillings and a few pennies and thruppeny bits rolled onto the desk. Quite a bit to be carrying around just in your pockets at any rate, but still nowhere near enough.

That's all the money I have in my pockets, can I come in tomorrow with the rest. The librarian's face molded into a look that seemed to read "Think I was born yesterday?" So she added Honestly, look, this was my mothers, I'll leave it here so you know I'm coming back.

A necklace joined the pile of coins and the librarian sighed before frowning and picking up the necklace, turning it over in his hands. Those same hands then itched for the pencil and scrawled words onto her notebook

This is gold. It'll do to cover your fine. Don't worry about coming back. I know you won't anyway. Nobody ever does.

WHAT? Her hand indented the words into the paper as if she was trying to carve, not write them Give me my necklace back you pea brained ginger tortoise! That is worth way more, sentimentally and monetarilly than 5 dollars and you know it, so stop trying to con me, I know the value of that necklace and I will report you for theft.

It's not theft, I am reclaiming credit where it's due to the library.

Except I have already payed over half the fine, I only owe you about two dollars and the necklace is worth about seven. It's my mothers and the only family heirloom I have, now give it back or I swear to god I will burn this whole place to the -

"Is there a problem here? You've both been writing in a book for the past five minutes in complete silence." A bored, calculatingly polite voice asked in the queue behind her but she didn't react. Wasn't meant to be able to hear whoever this newcomer was. Sounded like a posh nob. Not her sort.

-ground then collect the ashes and feed you with them until you suffocate.

Shoving the book across the desk to the librarian, she held out her hand palm up. The man looked at her, gulped and shook his head. Fake bravado if ever she saw it. He'd just need one little nudge. Hmm.

"Excuse me? Are you ignoring me?"

"Sorry sir, the young lady here is deaf and mute. As well as stubborn as an ass and really quite frightening. I'll be with you in a moment when we've settled the issue of her fine..."

"What about it? I saw her give you the coins."

"Yes, regrettably she doesn't have the required amount-"

"She gave you a necklace too, why did she do that?"

"I believe she wanted to give it to me in lieu of coinage sir,"

"A theory disproved quite adequately by the fact that she's crying."

"She's- oh."

Elle felt like a complete failure to her gender, but if there was one thing she'd learned from living with a group of men it was that when a woman started crying, they'd almost instantly do anything to make her stop. Even agree with something they weren't originally going to. Feminism be damned; she wanted her necklace back.

"Erm, can someone, er, miss?" The librarian came out from behind his desk, putting one hand on her arm awkwardly. "Is there something wrong? Miss, please stop crying."

"Clearly she does not want to hand over the necklace." The man standing behind me came into view as he bent over the desk to pick up the notebook, without the librarian seeing. His eyes were scanning along the top page at high speed, something she instantly envied. She'd never gone to school; had learned to read and write from Jonathan, the footman. He was the only one who had any sort of patience for the task of teaching someone who supposedly can't even hear him to read. He couldn't even tell if she had learned it right since she couldn't read anything aloud to him.

The librarian returned to behind the desk. Elle decided to stop crying, not because it wasn't having effect, but because the young man was really quite handsome. Distinguished. In the presence of his three piece suited appearance, the dirt encrusted trousers and worn shirt she was wearing were suddenly itchy under his gaze, which seemed to pass over and through her at the same time. He looked to be just below thirty, but his way of talking made him seem so much older. Vaguely aware that she was now staring glassy eyed at the man (And that he in turn was staring back blankly), she dropped her gaze.

Unexpectedly, the young man sighed and scribbled a note down on the notebook, then threw down two dollars. The librarian flinched at the movement, as if expecting them to get thrown at him rather than to him.

"Give her the necklace back. That should cover the rest of her fine and more." He demanded of the suddenly rather small looking librarian. "I should also mention, while I'm here, that the necklace seems to be worth a lot more than the fine. Fraud is a rather awful crime, don't you think?"

"Ye-yes Mr Vetinari- I mean my Lord."

"Good. I believe there is something you should be doing."

"Yes! Quite right. I'll er- go organise some books"

The librarian flung the necklace down at the desk and Elle's eyes bulged as the man, Veterinary, Was it? Caught it mid fall and swooped back up within a split second, seeming almost as if he hadn't moved at all. Bloody hell is he a vampire?

The man turned to look at her, holding out the necklace by the end of it's chain. Her hand reached out and his other hand went down to hold it underneath, steadying it as he allowed the necklace to flow down into her hand in a shimmery pool. A curt nod and he left before she could grab her pencil to scrawl a thankyou and ask where she could find him to repay him. Looking down at the pad, she suddenly remembered that he had also written on there.

Don't worry about repaying me. Reading your meritorious rant about how exactly you were going to punish him was quite rewarding enough.

In the hope that next time we meet it will be under better circumstances,

Havelock Vetinari

P.s. Do not forget to bring them back a little earlier next time.

Not quite sure whether to be touched or insulted, she settled for admiring the neat copperplate writing, then glanced around to check the librarian was not in sight. It was true that she wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible now that her saviour was gone, but curiosity always was her failing and they were bound to have a copy of Twurp's peerage here. Also, she needed to look up the word meritorious...

Hours later, she left the library, diverting so that she wouldn't have to pass the main desk. It was starting to rain sporadically as she left, new words bouncing around in her head like stray atoms. That was one of her new words. She'd started by looking up Havelock Vetinari in the peerage and found him to be one of the last remaining members of his family. Just an aunt still living, it seemed. Plenty of money, but he was an assassin. The idea gave her the shivers just thinking about it. Killing someone in self defence would be one thing, but actually making a profession of it was different. For all their fancy words and justifications, Murder and Assassination were filed under the same meaning. The revelation had curbed her earlier attraction to him slightly, so she'd instead turned to looking up the word Meritorious.

For a moment she had been shocked beyond belief at his audacity in saying that her rant was "1) alluring by vulgar or flashy display – based on pretence of insincerity 2) pertaining to prostitutes.". After her initial shock had abated she realised that she was reading the definition of the word meretricious. Finding the correct word, she found that meritorious meant "Admirable, or deserving praise. Derived from the word Merit."

Feeling slightly warm inside, despite the freezing weather, she gathered herself in her jacket and decided to take a longer route home. Namely, one that went past the assassins guild. Well, she could dream, couldn't she? Isn't that what the teenage years were for?

A/N This chapter is set a couple of years before V is patrician, around the time of Colour of Magic, just before the Librarian gets turned into an ape.
A review would be nice, signed or unsigned. I also accept flames, because i'm part dragonlady and like to munch them for breakfast. See you next chapter!