Come back to me by Trading Yesterday, inspired most of this.
Javi leans forward, the new information has brought them closer but they aren't there yet. His desperation is palpable, "Audrey, this is very important. Cecily is a nurse so she is bound to know if anything health-wise is needed to take care of Alexander. He has asthma and needs an inhaler. How would she go about trying to help the child she thinks is her son?" He's practically out of his seat, his heart pounding.
Audrey sighs and is visibly shaken, "Around three months ago, when the insomnia and depression became horrible, the doctor she worked for threatened to fire her because some of his prescription pads were missing. They had no proof but they believed she had done it." One of her boys rushes in, climbs into her lap, and stares back at the two detectives.
Ryan turns away from the small boy's curious brown eyes to talk to Javi. He whispers excitedly, "If she has one of those pads, she can write Xander a script…"
"And we might be able to trace her through the pharmacy she has them filled at!" Javi feels as though a little bit of the weight that's been bearing down on him, has been lifted.
Ryan turns quickly and pulls out his phone, "We need to put out feelers to all the local pharmacies in the area, and find out whether a police report was filed about the theft of the prescription pads." The sound of his fingers typing quickly on his small keyboard is heard.
Javi rises too and whispers back to Ryan, "And send plain clothes detectives to the most likely places she would go."
Now they are finally getting somewhere, they are even finishing each others sentences, and as Javi turns back to the distraught sister, he has one more question. "Audrey, thank you, you have been very helpful. One last thing, where did your sister get her prescriptions filled?"
Audrey answers immediately, "I know she got them at Tom's Pharmacy on 3rd and Avenue of the Americas. I even filled a few for her to make sure she took her medication. I think I even have a bottle here…hang on a sec…" She gets up from the chair and exits the room, her small boy balanced on her hip.
Ryan leans back in, "Plain clothes are getting the pictures we have of Cecily and Xander and are setting out to canvas as we speak."
Javi turns back to Ryan, "Have them focus on all pharmacies in the area of 3rd and Avenue of the Americas. If that doesn't turn up anything, we can widen the canvass. Let's get him partner…"
"At the very least, she isn't going to kill him, she's going to take care of him. That is, in all of this, a comfort for Kate…" Ryan chokes up a bit but fights it down.
Javi finally finds his barrings and pats his partner on the shoulder, "I know bro. I know. Let's go find him."
Audrey returns with an empty prescription with Cecily's information printed on the label, "There you go detectives. Please find them but don't hurt her please? She is so confused and hurt…"
Ryan answers in kind, "We will do everything we can, we promise."
The detectives leave the apartment with a spring in their step…
The bench is sturdy beneath her. Something to hold her up when she might otherwise sink to the cold damp ground. The day, now warm and absent of clouds, has been quiet aside from the few kids who run around the playground past her blurred vision. She can hear their little feet kicking up wood chips, but it's their shrieks of delight as they play together, that surrounds Kate. It warms her. Just a little bit, although the light will never return until her boy is safe in her and Rick's arms.
She couldn't stay in the loft. Couldn't look Rick in the eyes anymore... the eyes that mirror Xander's. Her heart brakes every time, because she can see the struggle in Rick. How much he has been trying to stay strong for her. And she isn't going to deny that she needs that from him. She needs him more then ever. But she knows that he needs to feel, not hold it all in for her sake. So she left him alone on the couch after she gathered herself.
And now, as she sits alone on their bench. She just can't feel anything. It's almost as if...Her old heart has come back to swallow her whole. It beats like a virus, infecting her soul, and drowning her. It's foreign to her now... this parasitic heart. The one that knew nothing of the love Rick as shown her. Nothing of the love she never knew she was capable of until she held her beautiful blue eyed boy. She just wants him to come back to her. Whatever it takes...
She closes her eyes, dipping her head to her left shoulder. Her hand is resting on the warn wood. She imagines her little boys hand in hers, and she closes it. Feeling nothing but her own quivering flesh. She clamps her eyes shut tighter, turning her palm to the sky, leaving it open, hopeful. A breeze sweeps in, rustling her hair up around her face, ghosting it's cold touch over the flesh of her hand. And then something warm slips into it. She gasps, opening her eyes to meet the sweet blue eyes of Alexis.
Alexis squeezes Kate's hand, bringing it up to her heart. She sits down beside her, and leans into her shoulder. "Dad said you might be here." The young woman says quietly.
Kate can see she's been crying. Her blues blood shot and the skin underneath a little swollen. Kate lifts her hand, wiping at the rings under her daughter's eyes with her thumb, and then smoothing the back of her hand along her cheekbone. Alexis closes her eyes, leaning into Kate's touch, and the lifts her hand to grasp her wrist lightly. The two sigh, just taking in each others small comforts. They are all they have.
"I've missed you." Kate says after a good long silence. Mixed with shared pain traveling along the heartstrings of their little family.
"Me too." Alexis offers, dropping their hands to her lap. She opens her eyes, tilting her head to one side and regarding her surrogate mother. Who's been more of a mother to her these past five years.. perhaps longer, then her own flighty Meredith.
"I am out numbered." Kate tries for humor, but it comes out as a sigh.
Alexis pats her hand, nodding and giving her an apologetic look. "Dad is waiting at home for us... Ryan is coming over with Jenny and Ellie for dinner. And so is Lanie and Esposito. Oh and your dad."
Kate's shoulders slump. She's not sure how she feels about being around everyone. Even if it's her family. And she doesn't want to step back into the loft. A space that used to be full of joy, only now the walls seem ominous and suffocating. She looks up at the girl, squeezing her hand, and then moving it to her own stomach.
"Dad told me." Alexis says, trying to smile, but Kate can tell she doesn't know if she can be happy about it. Not with the absence of her little brother looming over her.
Kate pushes a stray piece of red hair away from Alexis pale, heart shaped face. "It's okay to be excited... I am..." She trails off, dropping her hand and standing up. "Let's go home."
The entire family...well...
The adults sit around the table later that night. The food has yet to be served, but they have gathered around to hear what Ryan and Javi have found out about Cecily. As they both recount their findings, Kate sits next to Rick, His hand resting protectively on her thigh as Ellie lays draped against Kate's shoulder. She's fast asleep. Her seven year old body, is curled on Kate's lap as best she can. Her hands fisted in Kate's shirt, head resting on her shoulder. Ellie's soft blonde hair tickles the exposed skin there. Her body shifts, her parted lips pressing a little into Kate's neck, her breaths feather light against Kate's skin, giving her a small sense of home. She closes her eyes every now in then, taking in the warmth of this small child, and wishing she was Xander.
Kate lets out a sigh in relief along with Rick when they learn that at least Xander is being taken care of. Not to say that doesn't make them any less determined to get him back. Her father, drops a reassuring hand to Kate's other shoulder. Kate looks over at him, pressing her cheek to his hand and then smiling softly at him.
And then dinner is being served by Jenny and Martha. Kate barely pays attention to what has actually been cooked for dinner, and instead drops her eyes to every last one of her family members. Alexis sits beside Kate's father, who is on her left. Next to Alexis is Martha's empty seat while she dishes out the food. Javi sits at one end, Lanie to his right. Kate notices the way his hand never leaves Lanie's, although her other hand, lays suspiciously on her stomach. In a way Kate recognizes all to well. She can't feel anything right now about it though. Not even bothering to hide how lost she has been. But she will talk to Lanie.. once her son comes back home to her.
And then there is Ryan, who's watching her from across the table. He asks silently with his eyes, if she is okay with Ellie there. She answers, with a small tilt of her head downwards to look at the girl, and an arm that wraps around her. She wants to keep the innocence as close as possible. Jenny sits down beside her husband, pecking him on the cheek.
Rick sets a plate full of food down in front of Kate. She stares down at it, her stomach turning, and then up into Rick's soft blues. He pleads with those eyes, and she reluctantly removes one hand away from the girl, and takes a bite of what seems to be mashed potatoes, but it tastes like ash in her mouth. It takes her several minutes to realize that someone is directing a comment at her. She looks up, sees Javi across the table. And everyone else is staring at her. But not as someone who was being rude... just a very lost mother.
"Now we just need to wait.. even though I would like to just get out there and get him." Javi is saying now.
"But we will find him, Kate." Ryan adds.
"We will bring him home to you."
Everyone looks at the two detectives with mixed emotions. But one thing is for certain. They all have a lot of hope, and that makes her friends sound more promising now more than ever.
He can see his small reflection in the back window of the car. The city lights rush by and distort his image. He looks away from the window for a moment to stare at the sad lady who is driving the car. He frowns at her from the backseat, and stares out the window again. He starts to see the lights of the buildings and cars around the car slowing down, and then the car turns into a parking lot of a place he doesn't know. He doesn't know where he's been this while time. And even though this woman is nice.. he just wants to go home. He doesn't understand what's going on, and the more he thinks about it, the more frightened he becomes.
The car stops. And the woman unbuckles her seat belt while looking over her shoulder at him. "I will be right back, I am going to go get your medication." She says, reaching out to him. He sinks further into his seat to get away. She frowns and then shakes her head a little before looking at him again. "Be good, Alex." And then she's out of the car.
"Xander." The little boy mumbles unhappily as he hears the doors lock all around him.
And then he's alone...so very alone in the backseat of some strange woman's car, wearing clothes that are too big for him, and hugging a stupid stuffed hippo that most definitely is not Sherlock, and it smells funny. He pulls himself up to the window, latching onto the hippo for comfort even though he hates it. And it's pink, he hates pink.
His little nose presses against the cold glass, one hand coming up to rest next to it. He looks across the parking lot, draped in darkness except for the street light off to the right. It's a large building, off of a busy road. Cars snake in and out of traffic, and their speed frightens him, along with the silence in this confining car. He's not afraid of the dark...never has been, but without the comforts of home, he is afraid of all the things that could come out of it and get him. Just like this sad lady who grabbed him from the park.. in the middle of the day.. when the sun was shining... Xander hate's to think of what could get him when everything is black.
Another car pulls into the parking lot. Xander ducks down, gasping. His little heart pounding in his chest. He listens over the sound of his rasps. A car door slams... the sound of feet, then nothing. After another minute he creeps his gaze back out the window. The entrance has a sign over it...
"C c ll ii" He sounds out. He learned to read a few months ago. His parents were so proud of him. "Clin cli nic. Clinic." He says, brow creasing... he doesn't know what that is...Whatever this place is, that lady hasn't come back yet.
Xander sighs, wiping both his hands over his face like he's seen his father do, and then sinks back into his seat. His dad. He misses him. His deep blue eyes like his own. They make him feel safe and his big strong arms that wrap around him when he's scared.. and his mom.. mommy. Her green brown eyes, and her gentle touch. Her soft voice. He closes his eyes, trying to hear it now in the deafening silence of the car. In this big city far from home.
He rasps out a breath, feeling his asthma acting up. But he knows he has to calm himself... just like his mommy taught him. So he takes in a deep breath, hearing his mother's voice in his head. He hums aloud to her lyrics. And then a tear is slipping from his bright blue eyes. The green in them darken as he starts to sing.
"And even though I know how very far apart we are," He stares out the window, hand reaching to the cold glass, into thin air. "It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star." A small sigh escapes him, and just before he opens his mouth to continue singing, the driver's side door opens and the sad lady gets in.
She's looks back at him with a smile, buckling her seat belt and handing him a bag. She turns the key in the ignition. Xander's eyes grow wide. His little heart pounding out of his chest at the idea that he is on the move again. Traveling out into the city, making it hard for his parents to find him. He gasps when she pulls out and into traffic. Xander tries not to look at her, seeing her eyes darting every few seconds to watch him and then back at the road.
"Take you're medication." She tells him softly, with love he doesn't want.
Xander looks down at the bag in his lap, and opens it, spilling the contents into his little palm. Out pops an inhaler. The second his tiny hand wraps around it he hears sirens. His eyes snap to the windows. Heart jolting with recognition. Never in all his life has he been more happy to hear the harsh wails of police cruisers. And as he puts the inhaler to his lips, he can't help but smile against the plastic before sucking in his salvation.
~smiles~