Part Three:
It was near the end of May and Nationals was rapidly approaching. There was only two weeks until the competition and Rachel knew she had to get to work on that song of hers. It had to be perfect and couldn't have a single flaw. She let her friends know she was writing, but none of the songs were coming out the way she wanted.
"I just can't seem to get inspiration." Rachel complained one day on the way to glee club.
She felt Sebastian place his hands on her hips with a wriggle of his brows. "I can give you some inspiration tonight."
"Sebastian!" Rachel blushed, hoping her friends hadn't heard the comment. She moved his hands off of her hips and locked fingers with him.
Blaine gave Sebastian a glare. "Please don't talk about that around me. I don't want to imagine Rachel doing anything like that."
"Sorry Blaine. My boyfriend doesn't seem to know when to keep his mouth shut." She glared at Sebastian.
"You didn't seem to mind the other day." Sebastian smirked as fingers traced circles on her hand. "Especially when I-"
"Too much information" Kurt interrupted as he covered his ears.
Thankfully Blaine hadn't heard. But when Sebastian was about to open his mouth and make some comment again, but a squeeze on his hand that was strong enough to turn his hand white silenced him. He placed a kiss on her forehead and wore his best show choir smile. "I love you Rachel."
"Love you too." She said sarcastically, glancing down at his hand where the scar sat from where he punched that locker almost three months earlier.
Blaine and Sebastian had become better friends since Sebastian started dating Rachel, Blaine wasn't too content when he found out Rachel no longer just held hands with him. He was even unhappy knowing that she had made out with Sebastian. Rachel hadn't told Blaine that they had sex because she was afraid he was going to play the "I'm practically her brother" card with him and rip him a new one. Blaine only thought Sebastian was kidding about all of the jokes.
They entered the choir room where students had filled in. She took her usual spot in the front row beside Sebastian, letting their hands intertwine. The room was full of conversation over the latest glee club scandal. Apparently this afternoon Lauren announced that she will be leaving not only glee club but also Puck for some college boy she had met at a St. Patrick's Day party.
"So what's happening with Noah?" Rachel asked Sam.
Sam shrugged. "Lauren was his life besides Beth."
"Poor Noah." Rachel sighed and looked towards Sebastian. "One of you should have him over for a game night. You could play Call of Duty or something like that. "
Mike shrugged. "It's Friday, I doubt my parents will care. My dad has a late shift at the hospital."
All of the boys started in on their plans while Rachel thought of making her own. "Let's have a girl's night tonight. My daddies said I could have friends over this weekend while they were at a meeting. We can camp out in my Oscar room and watch movies and sing karaoke."
None of the girls seemed to disagree, not even Sugar who once seemed to hate her. She even volunteered to bring food and Harmony even said she would bring drinks. Santana, Quinn, and Brittany also agreed which shocked Rachel the most. For once, Rachel felt like everything was going right. None of her friends hated her, everyone was just happy to be together. Kurt would be spending the night, but Blaine said he might swing between both.
"All right everyone, now that all of that is settled let's get started on this week's assignment." Mr. Schuester approached the board and began to write.
"This week and the next two weeks' assignment are to write an original song that can be a duet, a group number, or solo piece. As many glee veterans know, last year Rachel wrote an amazing original song and so did the group as a whole. Up until this point, I've prepared you on other songs so we have a few in back pocket. But it's the original song mixed in gives us an element of surprise so we are guaranteed first place at nationals. Wait a second, where's Finn?"
As if it was on cue, Finn entered the room. He wore a letterman jacket, his hair was slicked back, he wore converse, and he seemed to remind Rachel of something she couldn't place. All she knew was that she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Sebastian's grip on her tightened and she felt her breath hitch.
"Mr. Schuester, I hate to interrupt but I have to do something." Finn said.
"Well sure. Are you going to perform something? It's been a while since you have." Mr. Schuester asked.
"Yes. Hit it Brad."
The piano started playing and Rachel was instantly sent back into her sophomore year. He was singing "You're the One That I Want" from Grease, the first duet they had ever performed together. She tried to keep her cool as he began singing because she knew Sebastian wasn't going to.
"I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losing control! Cause the power you're supplying, it's electrifying!"
Finn slid across the floor on his knees and ended up directly in front of her. Rachel knew he was waiting for her to respond by singing the chorus. Instead Sebastian stood up and responded for him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sebastian yelled.
"Singing to the girl I love." Finn responded standing up. "You don't know her like I do."
Rachel wasn't sure who had started it. But in one swift moment the two were throwing blows towards each other. Though people were screaming, the room went silent to her. Everything seemed to drag on for eternity as Sebastian continued to hit Finn, using his experience from Dalton's fight club to his advantage.
"Would you both just stop already?" Rachel yelled.
Neither of them did, but after another thirty seconds people were finally able to pull the boys apart. Mike and Rory held Sebastian as he reached for Finn again. Sebastian only seemed to gain a black eye and a scratch from the experience. Mr. Schuester and Sam didn't have to hold Sebastian as tightly as they did Finn, but Finn appeared seemed to be out of a horror film with the number of injuries he had obtained. Sebastian's ring must had caught on Finn's face somewhere, there was blood gushing out of his head.
Rachel knew she should have hurried to Sebastian's side, but with her Dad being a doctor the urge to help Finn came first. She grabbed the nearby tissues and held it against his head. He smiled the largest smile she had ever seen as she held the tissues against him.
"This doesn't mean I chose you. It means that I know you got your ass kicked worse. I'm at the verge of my breaking point, but you might need stitches. You need to go to the hospital."
She looked over her shoulder when she realized that Sebastian was out of her sight. With his temper, she instantly knew what happened. He must have thought she chose Finn. She felt tears fall out of her eye as she realized why Finn was smiling. She shoved him into the piano and ran out of the door of the choir room, hoping to find him.
She ran down the halls, knowing his bag with his car keys was still in the choir room. She ran to the locker room, barging in and checking if he was in there hitting the punching bag like he did when he was angry. She ran to the parking lot to see if he was just sitting in his car like he did when he needed to think. Rachel ran to the field where he ran laps whenever his mother tried to talk to him. She tried every place at this school until she realized the one place where he would be.
He would have been in the auditorium dancing, like he did whenever he was sad.
She opened the door to see him in mid twist and turn, music streaming from his phone. For the first time Rachel saw her boyfriend cry. Tears ran down his face as he danced and it broke her heart. She shouldn't have run to Finn, even if he was hurt more. She should have checked Sebastian before she helped Finn.
As the song concluded, he turned around realizing she was there.
"What do you want?" Sebastian spat as he turned back around, trying to hide his tears.
She approached him and placed her arms around him. "Let me talk to you."
He pulled out of his hold "I was actually stupid enough to believe we were going to last. It was too good to be true. Finn and I fought, but who did you run to after? Finn the guy you never said you would go back to. After everything he did to you and how treated you so badly, you still chose him. I know you care about me, but he obviously still holds priority in your heart."
"Sebastian, please let me explain…. He was so hurt and-"
"There's nothing to explain." Sebastian hissed. "It's obvious what matters most to you."
"Are we over?" She sobbed.
"We were over the moment you chose him over me."
Rachel didn't know how long she sat on that stage sobbing. All she knew was that felt like a life time when Blaine and Kurt who brought her home. She felt empty, like someone tore the best part of her out. As she walked down the halls to Kurt's car, every spot in the hallway reminded her of a moment.
The first place they made out in school. The bathroom where she washed the slushy out of his hair. The locker where she met him. The classroom where he met her outside of, offering to carry her books. Every spot that would seem like just an ordinary part of a building sent flashbacks through her mind. As she climbed into the back of Kurt's car, she thought of the various double dates where she had small moments in the car.
Rachel pretended to sleep in car so she could avoid conversation, but in the midst of pretending she heard one between her best friends. She kept her face down in the car door as the radio played some pop station as the boys talked.
"What do you think happened?" Kurt asked.
"They broke up obviously." Blaine sighed.
"Where'd you get that clue?" Kurt groaned. "Was it that fact she was in a ball crying on stage or the fact she isn't talking about how wonderful Sebastian is?"
"Quiet down." Blaine whispered. "This might be the only sleep she gets for next few days."
"Blaine, I think he did it. Rachel isn't the one who breaks hearts, she has too good of heart to hurt anyone else's on purpose. She was just trying to help him, doctor runs in her blood."
"If that's the case, I'm going to kill him." Blaine started. "Sebastian said he wouldn't hurt her and I actually believed him! I can understand why he would be mad, but to breakup with Rachel over just trying to helping someone? That's terrible."
As they turned into Rachel's driveway, she pretended to wake up. She was thankful there was an overnight trip for her daddies. She assumed the party was cancelled as she trudged up the stairs into her bedroom. She shut the door before the boys could enter and she sat at her desk, pulling out the pen with the gold star on top.
"Rachel let us in!"
"No! Let me write, let me be alone!" She cried. "I'll be down soon, I promise."
She had been complaining that she wanted inspiration, but she had never intended it in this way. She began to write words down, unsure of where it would go. She ignored the faded banging from her best friends on the door as she scribbled on the pink pad. As she finished the six lines that would become a chorus, new verses just poured out of her.
She frowned knowing that it was good, but she wished she would have written something from that didn't come from this pain. Rachel walked to the bathroom, knowing that she was going to have to face the boys soon. She used a piece of the toilet paper and some lotion to remove the makeup that ran down her face. She turned the hot water on in the shower and got out of her clothes, stepping into the water.
Rachel hoped that there would be the cliché of washing away the past. Instead, as the water ran down her cheeks she imagined the tears running down Sebastian's. It sent her stomach into knots and she ignored the feeling, washing her hair. When she finally finished in the shower, she slipped into her robe and walked into her bedroom.
Opening her closet, she looked at her favorite sweater. It wasn't the carousel one that lit up anymore. It was the simple oversized sweatshirt that had Sebastian's name and number from lacrosse at McKinley. Holding it up, she took a deep breath in and inhaled the familiar sent. She sighed as she trudged to her dresser, taking out the comfortable sweatpants set that she used for working out
She glanced over the shoulder, seeing the sun had started to set. Rachel realized she must have taken at least two hours, even if it felt like only moments. She had to cheer herself up and act like any good host with the glee girls coming over. As she creaked open the bedroom door she saw the two boys sitting outside on the floor, holding hands and talking in hushed tones. They stood up in an instant and pulled her into the tightest hug she had ever had.
"I was awake in the car." Rachel muttered. "All of what you said was true. He broke up with me because I was an idiot who helped her ex-boyfriend before her boyfriend."
"It's not your fault." Kurt said.
"But it is." She sighed. "I should have chased him."
"It's never just one person's fault. I'll call off the sleepover tonight. We can talk about it later." Kurt took her hand.
"No, don't let me ruin the fun." Rachel shook her head. "Call everyone and let them know the party is still on tonight."
"Rachel I insist you cancel. You're not ready for everyone to ask you about it." Blaine said.
"No, but I have to be at some point." Rachel shrugged. "It's not like he's going to come barging back to my door anytime soon. He's angry and when he's angry for what feels like forever. He's probably going to need a while to cool down if he ever forgives me."
"He loves you, you love him." Blaine's face suddenly lit up. "I might know where to find him. Kurt, I'm going to take your car."
He placed a quick kiss on Rachel's forehead before pecking Kurt quickly and running down the stairs. Kurt placed a hand on Rachel's back, guiding her down the stairs where he already started party preparations just in case. He placed all the non-vegan food he could find out along with a large fruit salad that Rachel always kept in her fridge.
Soon enough to Rachel's surprise, people were arriving and they weren't questioning her about Sebastian. Rachel was happy to see that Mercedes and Tina were the first to arrive and they were dressed down in pajamas just like her. They had arrived with tears of laughter in their eyes, still laughing about what had happened to Finn after Rachel left.
"You should have seen it!" Tina said as she sat on the couch.
"First after you left, Mr. Schuester helped wash all the blood off as he waited for Finn's mom to get there. So then Santana walked right up to him and slapped him so hard she left a hand print." Tina started giggling.
"Here's the best part, Santana started yelling in Spanish and all I could translate was that he was a 'desperate little boy who doesn't even deserve his left hand'." Mercedes cackled.
Rachel couldn't help but crack a smile at the girls who were laughing like they did when they were drunk.
"Then Puck came into the room and he almost started another fight after Rory filled him in on what happened."
She glanced over to see Kurt joining in on the conversation. "It was like an episode of Jerry Springer in glee club today."
"You know, up until today when the girls said that they would come here tonight, I honestly thought most of the glee club didn't like me."
"That was true until last year." Quinn said, stepping into her basement with Santana and Brittany behind her. "You were one of the biggest pains we knew."
"But you're actually not all that bad anymore." Santana shrugged hiding a smile. "You were one of the few who supported me coming out and you even offered to let me stay here if I ever needed a place. Even after all I put you through you were still that kind."
"Rachel, we may hate your talent but you're not a bad person." Harmony said as she followed down the stairs.
"I'm sorry if I've given you any trouble." Sugar frowned. "I was just sucked into that stupid world Finn put's you in."
Rachel accepted the hug from the girl and the guests settled onto the couches in the Oscar room. Rachel made sure the liquor cabinet was locked as she put the DVD in. It was some horror movie that Harmony had brought over with a plotline that seemed almost too predictable. Yet as everyone jumped and screamed every appearance of the killer, the whole group just seemed to bond in a way that they hadn't before.
No one had to pretend to hate each other, Brittany and Santana held hands without fear, and Kurt threw his head dramatically into Rachel's shoulder every time there was blood exclaiming "This is the reason why I need Blaine!"
At the conclusion of the movie, Rachel turned on the lights and saw that Kurt's phone had a message. "Kurt, Blaine sent you a picture. Want me to just give it to you?"
Kurt shrugged as he put a chip in his mouth. "It's probably one of those stupid forwards because he actually believes there's a chance he might die if he doesn't send it. You can open it."
It wasn't a forward. It was an image of Sebastian making out with some guy and Blaine saying he told Sebastian never to even dare to talk to Rachel unless if he's saying sorry. Blaine said he called him a lying and cheating bastard that got mad at her for no reason and now he was making out with some stranger. Blaine ended the message saying he was on his way back to Rachel's house to drop off Kurt's car.
She read the message twice and it still didn't sink in. Rachel felt light headed and she leaned against the counter trying to process what she just read. She looked again, thinking that the third time would just prove it was a silly forward, but what she originally saw was still there. Maybe he really didn't love her, she thought tossed the phone to Kurt as she took her seat beside him.
"He's going to pay for that." Kurt said.
"No," Rachel tried to stop the tears. "Let him do what he wants."
By the time Blaine returned it was nearly ten thirty. The group didn't press her on what the message like she expected, they could tell that she wasn't in the mood. So they instead played another movie, this time going for a comedy. It was some comedy about a group of friends going on some summer adventure and finding out who they really were; Rachel couldn't help but find herself not focusing on the movie.
"Do you guys hear that?" Blaine asked, sitting up from his position on the couch. "It sounds like something banging on the front door."
They all hurried up the stairs and most of the girls gathered around the window as Blaine headed to the door. Rachel followed Blaine and froze when she recognized the voice yelling at the door. It was no one other than Sebastian Smythe in his drunken tone that Rachel had only heard a few times.
"Rachel! Please let's talk!"
"Go away!" She yelled and Blaine shushed her.
"Rachel is that you? I'm so sorry. I kissed my friend from Dalton because I'm drunk and angry, he means nothing. All he did was giving me a ride there and here. Please listen to me, I love you."
She looked in through the small window; his truck wasn't in the driveway at least. She saw by the way he looked he wasn't lying, but as much as she wanted to forgive him and take him into her arms; he had made the decision to go to the bar with his friend. He had made the decision to kiss him, drunk or not.
"What do you want me to do?" Blaine whispered.
"Tell him to leave." She answered.
But before Blaine could, Santana opened the door and grabbed the stumbling boy by the front of his shirt. "What you did to Berry wasn't okay. She and I aren't best friends, but she is one of the nicest girls I know. You will get your drunken ass off of her porch and you will not speak to her unless if she speaks to you. Or I will get all Lima Heights on you Meer cat manner Robert Pattison look alike ass."
She gave him a shove and slammed the door before wearing her smile.
"Harmony brought Movies and Sugar brought food to the party. So think of this as my gift to the host." Santana smiled. "Now let's get our snackin' on, downstairs there's a plate of breadsticks calling my name."
It was so hard for Rachel to resist running to Sebastian every time he was in her vicinity. Everyone had told her to avoid him because after what he did, the only way he should gain respect is by kissing the ground she walked on and earning her trust back. But no one allowed him the chance to do that. Even on the airplane to New York where they were originally seated beside each other, somehow Sugar ended up between them. So Rachel plugged her head phones into the television built into the seat ahead of her and listened to the boring documentary.
Of course she had tried to talk to him, but everyone kept a careful eye on her and tried to keep them apart. Everyone said she was too good for him, yet Rachel didn't feel that way. Blaine would always find various distractions, Mercedes or Tina would try to ask her opinion on something, and Kurt would remind her "Once a cheater, always a cheater. Remember Finn?"
She was angry still with Sebastian. Though she went and helped Finn who actually needed five stiches on his forehead, Sebastian had no right to kiss that guy even if he didn't matter to him. Rachel loved Sebastian and she would probably get back together with him, because she still missed him. But it was going to take something incredible for him to get her attention.
When they arrived to the same hotel that they stayed at the previous year, they immediately received their rooms. This hotel held all of the teams competing because of the theatre being directly next door. It was a good thing because they had awareness of their competition, but unfortunately their competition was going to be the hardest yet. She learned that from the girls' choir that was on the same floor who rehearsed every evening while she and her roommates tried to sleep.
A new rule was added this year: no couples were allowed to share rooms. So Rachel found herself in a room with Brittany, Mercedes, and Tina; all three were taken and in happy relationships. Throughout the week the days fell into a schedule. Mornings they would dance. Afternoons they would go on little day trips like seeing "Phantom of the Opera" or visiting tourist attractions. Evenings the group had a vocal rehearsal and then they would be free for the evening with a ten o'clock curfew.
But the morning of Nationals came too quickly. When Rachel woke up in the morning, she realized what a whirlwind the glee club had put her through. When she joined as a sophomore, she was a completely different person. She was a scared girl who had no friends, no experience in love. She had nothing. But now as a senior, she was a woman. She had the best friends she could imagine.
Tomorrow morning, whether they win or not; it was all over. Sure, they were probably going to have some goodbye song for graduation, but there would never be another competition. It would be the end of it all. She wouldn't be able to say "Oh there's next year", instead everything depended on today. The next time she would be in New York, she would be attending NYADDA and on the path to completing her dreams.
As she stepped into the dress, she zipped up the dress and stared at herself in the mirror. There was something missing about this outfit. She reached into her makeup bag, finding the small snowflake necklace that she had taken off two weeks earlier. She clipped the jewelry around her neck and felt nearly complete, but there was still something missing.
"Rachel there's a phone call, it's for you." Brittany hollered.
Rachel entered the main portion of the room where Brittany held the phone against the sleeve of her matching dress. Rachel took the receiver and heard the voice of Noah who was directly across the hallway from her. As she listened to him, she mouthed "Tie the bow?" to Tina.
After a moment of him babbling about his nerves, Rachel noticed that most of the girls had returned to the bathroom to finish getting ready for the competition. So she settled onto the ledge of the bed she and Brittany were sharing and twirled the cord around her finger.
"You'll be fine today. We'll give the audience the best duet they've ever seen." She reassured him.
"I just wanted to say one last thing. I wanted to say thanks for everything. You gave me this opportunity to perform, you helped me get into college, you arranged that game night trying to make me feel better and you always answered any question I had about babysitting Beth. I know once we get to the competition downstairs it's going to be crazy and that today isn't going to go the way everyone probably planned, so I just wanted to thank you now."
The smile on her face grew immensely. "It's no problem. A Jew has to help out their fellow Jew right?"
"Your right my Jewish princess. Break a leg out there."
"You too." She smiled, hanging up the phone.
"Don't tell me you're going out with Robert Pattison?" Mercedes groaned using the nickname that Santana had given Sebastian.
"Why should it matter if she is?" Brittany asked. "People make mistakes and he made Rachel happy. We all deserve to be happy. There's always going to be rain before the rainbow, all they had was a little rain shower. It shouldn't slow them down."
Everyone looked towards Brittany who had never really voiced her opinion on the topic. She just shrugged and stepped into her heels, opening the hotel room door and wordlessly left the room to presumably join Santana. Rachel stepped into her own heels and made sure she had everything ready for competition.
"I'm going to head down. Are you guys coming soon?" She asked.
Mercedes nodded. "We're just waiting for Mike and Sam to finish up. I swear they take longer than us."
Rachel stepped out of her doorway just as Sebastian had. Neither of them could avoid each other, so they walked to the nearby elevator and climbed in joining the other various show choirs in the small space. She was uncomfortable in the elevator full of laughter and chatter; she faced Sebastian with a smile.
He looked gorgeous like he always did. Just instead of his hair being his usual gelled and windblown look that he wore in public, it sat on his forehead like it did naturally. The way Rachel liked it best because it showcased his beautiful eyes. He was dressed like all of the other boys; he was in all black outfit besides a white tie.
"You look really handsome, but you need to straighten your tie." Rachel shifted the white tie. "I thought you would be
"You look beautiful." Sebastian said before glancing down at her neck. "You're wearing the necklace I gave you."
"I needed a good luck charm."
"But Rachel Berry, you don't need any luck."
She turned her head to the boy stepping in the elevator. Instinctively she grabbed Sebastian's hand, but she quickly let go as her former boyfriend stepped into the now compact locker. Jesse St. James looked exactly as she remembered, the same smirk and sense of confidence that he wore.
"Who's this?" He asked looking at Sebastian. "A new freshman for New Directions?"
"I'm a senior and my name is Sebastian Smythe." Sebastian growled. "I'm her b-friend."
Jesse realized that he was going "boyfriend" and he cocked a smirk. "Oh, I'm Jesse St. James, her former boyfriend as well."
"You're the tool who used her to spy on the competition and then egged her as a sophomore." Sebastian said. "I hate your guts."
"Good to know the feelings mutual." Jesse answered before turning towards Rachel. "I just wanted to invite you to the Vocal Adrenaline after victory party tonight. I'll message you my room number later. It's a shame you never transferred, you could have been the one leading us tonight."
"New Directions in my family." She answered. "Now please don't insult the choir you're going to lose to."
He chortled. "But you haven't changed at all. You still have that dedication that I still find so sexy. And you're looking good; you still have that tight little butt of yours."
Jesse went to go pat her rear, but Sebastian sent her a look that made him stop.
"Don't touch her." Sebastian glared.
Rachel noticed the elevator had gone silent at this exchange. So she was thankful as the door opened and she saw members of her glee club gathered at a cluster of chairs. She walked towards the group where Kurt and Blaine were, she noticed Blaine giving her a look that seemed to say "What are you doing?"
But Kurt wore a completely different one. He knew who was in the elevator and he stood up from his seat and took a hold of Rachel. "Jesse St. Jerk was in there. Did he talk to you?"
"He was a sleaze." Sebastian groaned. "He look at her like he wanted to eat her and invited her up to his room. I stopped him from grabbing her. Jesse is such a creep."
Blaine seemed to realize that Sebastian wasn't being the bad guy. "Thanks for watching out for her."
"Did it feel like that when we were dating? You know like the need to be super protective over her?" Sebastian asked Blaine.
Blaine nodded sending a smile to her. "Rachel Berry has that effect on people."