Hermione didn't wake until late the next afternoon, her thoughts having kept her up until the early morning hours. She stretched lazily reaching over towards her nightstand where her watch lay glancing at the time she almost had a heart attack. It was 2:20 pm Professors last class was with Gryffindor and ended at 3 o'clock. If he came straight here that gave her only about 35 minutes to get ready, forty at the most. Professor Snape didn't seem the type to procrastinate when it came to important matters.
Practically jumping out of bed she rushed to the bathroom to shower. Though she'd taken on last night before she went to bed, she'd forgone her normal hair spell and now her hair rivaled a rat's nest. Hermione thought about doing a quick cleaning spell, but she herself never particularly like the results compared to an old fashioned shower.
Clearing the fog from the bathroom mirror with her hand she started silently at herself still not sure who she was really seeing. She felt as though all the missing events of the last few months had changed her and she just wasn't herself anymore.
Putting on a little makeup just to cover up the paleness of her features she preformed the knot free spell on her hair and added some witches weekly special witch's gel that she'd gotten from Ginny last Christmas. She'd rarely used it, choosing to forgo it instead. Not that it hadn't been a great gift, since she had been constantly complaining about her hair. But she hadn't had the energy or motivation to the past few months.
Rushing from the bathroom she did a quick glance throw of her closest realizing she had practically nothing to wear that was comfortable, appropriate for this meeting? Glancing at her watch as she secured it firmly around her wrist she saw it was just about 3 that meant she had less than 10 minutes to get dressed and make sure everything looked alright. Grabbing a sweat suit she had gotten from her parents two Christmas's ago she dressed quickly.
The sweat suit was a nice navy blue color, the fabric for the pants was velvety, and she'd always loved the feel of that. She decided not to wear the matching jacket; instead she put on a light blue short sleeve top that worked well with the color of her pants. Though the shirt was a little tight she thought it added class to her sloppy choice of pants.
Glancing at the mirror before leaving her room she did a quick once over, she wasn't sure why, but she wanted to make sure she looked good, with out noticeably going out of her way. Hair, check, clothes, check, makeup check with on last glance to her watch she headed out to her common room and started to readjust the books from Poppy. Not wanting them to be sprayed about the coffee table when Professor Snape arrived.
Glancing at her watch once more she realized that Professor Snape would be arriving any minute. She sat down on the couch, glad she had chosen such a comfortable one when designing her room. Taking a claming breath she tried to clear her mind, so she didn't become to overwhelm at the thought of the discussion she and Snape would be having just minutes from now. Breathe Hermione she silently said to herself.
A knock at the portrait door brought Hermione out of the claming state and into a panic. She hadn't thought this threw well enough the man that she'd been terrified of the last few months was going to be in her domain in a few short seconds, the man that had raped her under imperus curse due to Voldemort and his death eaters.
Though she said she'd forgiven him, she meant it more for his sake than her own. Trauma like that didn't cure itself over night. She knew it would be a long while before she could honestly forgiven him fully, if ever. But they were going to have a child together and she wouldn't blame the child, and she had to get over this. This was the first step. She silently got up from the couch and walked towards the door, every step becoming harder than the last. Finally arriving at the door, she breathed a silent breath of relief that she hadn't died in the process of walking to answer the door.
She gently pushed open the door, revealing Professor Snape, his face an icy mask of indifference. She almost turned and ran right then, fearing she would throw up whatever was left in her stomach from the night before. But she didn't she stood still and gave a small smile when Professor Snape focused on her making her flush under his inspecting eyes, causing him to raise an amused eyebrow in question.
Calm down Hermione she said silently to herself once again.
Take a deep breath
"Hello Professor, would you like to come in?" She said stepping back leaving the door way free for him to pass threw. He nodded and stepped threw the door, taking a swift look around her accommodations. Thought he had seen them when he escorted her here after the hospital wing, he'd yet to see them decorated. By the small almost unnoticeable nod he gave when he glanced her way she felt his approval, which caused a warm feeling to flood her tummy, weather it was her reaction or the babies to his words of approval she didn't have time to think on it, just yet.
"Would you please sit down?" she asked wondering where she got the courage to actually have a polite conversation with this man.
He nodded and sat in the chair closest to the door. She took a seat on the large couch on the right side which was closest to her bed room. It seemed they both were rather weary about this meeting, wanting to stay close to an exit in case this meeting went bad.
"Thank you for agreeing to this meeting Professor, and your timely answer" She said rather awkwardly searching for something to say.
She had, when she had first written to him, plenty to say, but now her mind was all a blank. She felt like a failure, she had invited him here but at the moment couldn't think of the reasons she felt the need to invite him into her 'home'.
"To be honest Miss. Granger I wasn't expecting a letter from you quite so soon, or at all for that matter" Snape said in his silky draw that caused shivers to go down her spine, but not all in an all unpleasant way.
"I thought maybe we should talk" Hermione said wringing her hands together in her lap.
"Yes I think we should also" Snape said
"Would you like some tea? I can call Bibby. Are you hungry? It will only tak…" Hermione started to say but was cut off by a sharp interruption from her professor
"Miss. Granger will you please stop with the polite chit-chat, regardless of what you had to say during our last brief talk I feel I should inform you that there is no way you have forgiven me, nor have I forgiven myself. If you honestly believe that then I hesitate to think the true intelligence of our spawn." He spoke in a cruel voice
Hermione reared back as though she had been slapped. Tears began to fill her eyes. That bastard.
"If all you are going to is sit and cry allow me to call Potter and Weasley to accommodate your childish behavior I honestly thought too much of you not to realize that this was a pity party for yourself." Professor Snape said each word cutting down the defenses that Hermione used to keep her anger a bay, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
"If you will excuse me, call me when you gain some intelligence and maturity." Snape finished rising from his chair and heading towards the door cloak billowing as dramatically as always.
Just as he began to step out the door Hermione spoke.
"Sit down you greasy bastered RIGHT NOW." she spoke in a deadly calm voice, all her defenses gone. Her words had the desired effect; Snape stopped turned raised an arrogant eyebrow as though he was doing her a favor by staying and listening to her speaks.
"By all mean please continue Miss. Granger" he said sitting down looking bored.
Her anger kept building with each movement from him.
"Where the hell do you get off? I was just trying to be polite, have a civil conversation! You're a miserable bastered! You raped me you sick son of a bitch! How dare you sit there and act like I'm begging for your time or your doing me a favor. We can talk now or we can talk in court, I'm sure the ministry would have no problem trying a known death eater." She said each word rising in volume.
"You probably liked it, the first time you've gotten some in a long while, but then your such a miserable bastered you probably like forcing girls, school girls why else would you stay here at Hogwarts were your hated, despised, god your not even worth the air you breath." She said standing up and pacing.
"God no one wants or trusts you! How does it feel to know if you died tomorrow no one would care? YOU RAPED ME! YOU TOOK AWAY THE ONLY THINK I HAD LEFT TO GIVE. YOU RUINED ME! I'M PREGNANT WITH YOUR EVIL SPAWN! YOU'RE A GODDAMN POTIONS MASTER HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW TO GIVE ME A DAMNED POTION TO PREVENT PREGNACY! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DUMBLEDORE AND POPPY THINKING!" Hermione was yelling so bad that she was huffing and puffing
Snape just sat there watching her, his eyes dark.
"THEN AGAIN YOU PROBABLY SAID YOU GAVE ME A POTION BUT DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU KNEW THIS WAS THE ONLY CHANCE YOU'D EVER GET AT HAVING A BABY! KNOWONE WOULD TOUCH YOU; YOUR HAIR IS SO DAMN GREASY! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY! HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD! SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU! YOU'RE WORTHLESS!! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, AND I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD!" Hermione yelled falling to the floor due to lack of energy.
"I HATE you, you utter bastard" Hermione finished falling from a yell to a broken whisper, wrapping her arms around herself rocking back and forth sobbing into her hands.
Snape stood up wordlessly, though it wouldn't of mattered Hermione was sobbing so loud you wouldn't hear a centaur stampede. Snape walked to the door and opened it. Stepping back gently as he let the Headmaster, the Gryffindor head of house and Poppy into Hermione's quarters.
Poppy and Minerva walked over to Hermione quickly gathering her in there arms and headed to her rooms there faces filled with pain for what had happened to this bright young girl.
Albus walked up to Snape placing a hand on his shoulder speaking softly as they both watched Poppy and Minerva enter Hermione's room with her sobs still filling the room.
"I'm sorry you had to do this my boy" Dumbledore said comfortingly
Snape shook of his hand
"If you are no longer in need of me headmaster I would like to return to my lab" Snape said his voice masking any and all pain.
Dumbledore stepped back and nodded
"Of course my boy, go get some rest" Albus finished the sobbing from Hermione's room still going strong.
Snape nodded and left.
Dumbledore sat down in the chair the Potions Master had previously filled and placed his head in his hands feeling older than he had ever felt before.
- - ------
Severus headed towards his private rooms fully intent on drinking himself unconscious muttering the password he stepped in, stopping at the sight of an uninvited guest in his chambers.
"Here you go old friend" the man said handing Snape a glass of brandy before sitting himself down once again while waiting for Snape to get comfortable.
The silence filled the room, which Snape was thankful for, preferring silence over Miss. Grangers sobs any day.
"You did what had to be done, she would have kept it bottled up inside, harming herself and the baby. No one faults you for what you did" the man said
"I know Lucius I know but it still doesn't help me in the long run" Snape said with a weary sigh.