Author's Note: These first couple of chapter's may move a little slower than normal, but I hope you'll tough it out. I have plans for our intrepid couple, they just have to get through a few hurdles first.

While writing this chapter, I listened to Suzanne Vegas "Small Blue Thing" a lot. It makes me think of how River must feel.

Chapter 2

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe

As Mal sped toward Serenity, guiding the mule through the crowds around tightly packed buildings, Jayne spoke into his com, trying to sound calm, "Kaylee, you there girl?"

A few seconds later he heard the mechanic's voice in his ear, "Yeah Jayne, what'cha need?"

"I need you to get the Doc and meet us in the cargo bay, we're comin in now and he's gonna wanna be there."

There was a pause before Kaylee spoke again, "Oh lao tian bu, it's River ain't it?"

Jayne could hear the quiver in the mechanics voice and knew she was about to make the situation worse by gettin that boyfriend of her's all worked up before they even got there. He pushed a hard edge into his voice, "Gorammit Kaylee, this here ain't the time for gettin all teary and such, you just get that boy down to the bay and keep him calm, dong ma?

"Wo dong," came the reply, still shaky, but no tears yet. Jayne took that as a good sign she wasn't gonna go rushin all teary like to the Doc and get his panties in a bunch before they even got there.

He disconnected the com link and hollered against the wind, "Dammit Mal, cain't this pile of go se go no faster?"

oOo

"What in the hell happened out there?" Simon asked, as Jayne handed River down to rushed to his sister's side and felt her pulse, "When you left tonight, River was fine and you bring her back comatose?"

"Doc, I got no way of explain' what happened out there. One minute she was fine and then your little sis just went all feng le on us. Started screamin' about her soul bein' seared or some such craziness and just collapsed," Mal replied as he walked rapidly to the infirmary.

Simon waited as the captain laid River gently on the med table, "She's been fine. No outbursts, no dissassication," he said looking accusingly at Jayne, "Something had to have happened."

Jayne felt anger building, "Look you prissy little..." his words faded as Mal shot him a stern look. He scowled down at his boots, "No one did nothin' to her, she just went all white and started hollerin'. Got her back here quick as we could."

Simon blew a puff of air out, calming a bit. He looked over his shoulder and said grudgingly, "I'm sorry, that was unfair." He turned his attention back to his sister before he could see the look of astonishment that passed over the other man's face. He carefully lifted first one eyelid and then the other, shining a light into each. "Her pupils are reactive and her breathing is steady, I can't see any physical reason for her to be like this."

"Well maybe she just finally went right on into full blown crazy," Jayne said.

Zoe spoke up, "Sir, I think it'd be best we continue this conversation elsewhere. Huddled around this little room is bound to get tempers a little high.."

Mal nodded in agreement, "Let's take this to the dining area," he said, ducking through the door and moving off, "We gotta decide how we're gonna handle this development.

The others followed quietly, with Jayne leaving last. He threw a look over his shoulder as he left the room. She looked so small and pale just lying there. It bothered him, but he couldn't for the life of him say why.

oOo

River opened her eyes and swallowed hard against the sudden wave of nausea that assailed her. Instantly she recognized the smell, knew where she was. The infirmary. "Ta me da," she whispered to herself. They thought she'd lost it again. A second wave of nausea hit her and she knew her brother had doped her, "Wu de tyen ah." She pushed herself up on her elbows and gingerly swung her legs over the side of the med table, her head swimming with the effects of whatever Simon had given her. "At least they didn't strap me down this time," she thought cynically.

She looked around the small room and was surprised to find herself alone. Gripping the side of the table as she slid to the floor, River stood still until the dizziness passed. She ran her fingers through her hair and tried to remember what had happened. Trying to find the memories through the haze the drugs induced was difficult and her head started to throb. The memories came to her in flashes. She remembered the meet, remembered telling Jayne she could get into the mule alone, but then..."But then what? she thought furiously. She could feel something at the edge of her mind, but the zao gao drugs wouldn't let her focus.

River shook her head, trying to shake loose the cobwebs, as she moved across the room toward the door. Tentatively she reached out, hoping that they hadn't thought to lock her in. To her relief the door slid open easily. She looked out into the common room to make sure no one was on guard duty and then slipped silently to her room. She closed the door and sat on her bed, resting her arms on her thighs to support her aching head. She tried again to focus on the events of the night, finding it easier now that she was away from the antiseptic smell of the infirmary. She pushed through the haze of the drugs and pushed herself, opening her mind as wide as she dared. The memory slammed into her with a force that knocked her onto her back. She gasped, there had been energy. A wave of psychic energy like she'd never felt before and it had ripped through her mind leaving her blind and panicking.

River opened her senses to their full extent, desperate now to pull the memory fully from her mind. Suddenly she felt it, a slight pulse beneath her skin. It tingled and pulled at her, calling to her in a way she would never be able to describe. At the fringes of her mind she could hear whispering, ghosts of voices, pulling at her.

She stood up quickly, her head reeling and left her room at a run. Mindless of any noise she might make she darted to the hatch above the crew quarters and climbed the ladder, twisting the handle until she heard it hiss open. Pulling herself through the opening, she crawled out onto Serenity's hull, the metal cold beneath her feet shocking her back into reality briefly. She looked around her and saw the night sky awash with color. As she walked to the edge of the ship and closed her eye and inhaled deeply the night wind blowing over her bare skin. With her sense fully open she felt the pulse within her quicken. The tendrils of psychic energy began pushing themselves into her. She braced her feet shoulder width apart, preparing herself for the blinding panic she'd felt earlier to grip her, willing to face it again if it helped explain what it was she was sensing.

When the waved of energy continued to surge through her and no panic set in, River began to relax. She could taste it on the wind now, like electricity in the air. The whispers grew louder, singing through her and she smiled, losing herself to the sound.

oOo

Jayne sat in the corner of the room and listened as the others disscussed what to do about River. He told himself he didn't really care what happened. He'd said long ago that they needed to be shed of that crazy girl. After Miranda, after she'd gone all quiet, he'd started to think she might be some kind of useful, but if she was gonna start gettin all weird again, well, he might just have to re-think that.

Somewhere in the middle of his musings, Jayne thought he heard footsteps in the passage sat up straighter, trying to hear more. When he couldn't pick out any clear sounds over all the voices in the room so he stood up and walked to the doorway, looking over his shoulder and saying, "Ni men dou bi zui," he snarled, "man cain't hear himself think with all that gorram noise."

Mal turned to look at his hired gun, "You forgettin' who's in charge here? Or you just suddenly got yourself a powerful urge to leave this boat?"

Jayne pulled a face and said, "I ain't got no ruttin' urges to do nothin', but there's someone.." he stopped talking as he heard the familiar sound of a hatch hissing open, "Zhen dao mei" he said under his breath, "Mal, we got problems, there's someone tryin to get off this boat."

Mal moved across the room, following Jayne into the passageway. He hollered over his shoulder as he went, "Doc, you best go look in on that sister of yours."

oOo

Jayne stopped under the open hatch and looked up. He pulled Betty out of her holser and started up the ladder. He could hear Mal close behind him, but his mind was focused on dealing with whatever threat waited for him on Serenity's hull. What he saw when he stood up made his blood run cold.

River stood precariously close the edge of the hull, arms out stretched, head thrown back. The loose, white gown Kaylee and Inara had changed her into billowed out behind her. Her hair blew around her like a thin black cloud.

As Mal climbed out onto the hull, Jayne stopped him with his arm, jerking his head in River's direction, "I'm thinkin' it might not be a good idea to startle her at this particular juncture."

Mal stood, dumbfounded, at the sigt of his pilot standing so close the Serenit's edge. He felt his throat go dry. He slid back down the ladder and ran for the infirmary, hollering for Simon as he went, "Doc, you best get yourself up to the top of the boat, looks like your sister's decided she don't want to be among the livin' no more."

oOo

River was reveling in the sounds and feelings washing over her, oblivious to the panic she was causing," So brilliant, like the air is alive." Her body felt like it was floating, peace settled on her and she breathed it in. In the years since the Academy, her mind had been ravaged by the constant barrage of thoughts and emotions of others. Fear and pain mingling with lust and laughter. It had drained her, left her a dry husk. Now, she felt whole, alone with her own mind for the first time since she was fifteen. She took a step forward, trying to get closer to the light swirling around her.

Jayne felt his breath catch in his chest as he watched River slid one foot closer to the edge of Serenity's hull. He could hear the others running up the passageway below him, but he knew they'd arrive to late. Slamming Betty back into her holster, he sprinted across the hull, grabbing River around the waist and jerking her backwards just before her feet slipped over the edge.

They hit the cold metal with a resounding thud, knocking the air out of Jayne. He clutched River's small frame tightly to him, his arm securly in place around her. She began to fight him then, screaming and scratching at his arm.

River could feel her body getting lighter and thought this was surely what Heaven was meant to be. "Who are you? What is this?" she thought, "Why can I feel you, but not sense where you are?" The reply floated toward her on the lights...and then there was blackness. Sudden and engulfing, it tore her back from the edge, her body slamming with full force into reality again. With her mind still wide open, the thoughts of the entire city tore into her. Her mind exploded with pain and she heard herself scream. She could hear someone calling her name, could almost feel a familiar energy, but the pain and the loss of the peace she had found was to great. She felt a needle slide into her arm and fought passing out. As the drug induced fog covered her she cried out, "Jui ming qing."

As River went limp in his arms, Jayne felt a sudden wave of nausea grip his insides, "What in the ruttin' hell was that Doc? Your sisters been feng le since you got on this boat, but she ain't never tried to off herself before."

oOo

Ophelia Varga opened her eyes and stood up. She walked out onto the private balcony overlooking the club she owned. She stood still and waited until Jerimiah looked up at her. There's a girl on Morpheus, she's one of the damaged ones. I felt her, was trying to guide her to us, but then she was pulled away. I believe she may be in danger.

With an almost imperceptible nod he moved through the club to a small group of people standing at the crowds edge. Ophelia watched as they all moved out of the club and into the night. She just hoped they would be able to find the girl before any harm came to her. So many of them had already been lost.