A/N: Sorry about the wait, Christmas and work ate my life! I have the rest of the story outlined, so updates should be relatively more prompt, assuming that I find time to actually sit down and type it out. Thank you to idrawcubes for reviewing, and many many thanks to my awesome beta, Kurgs! They are both great, and you should read their stories!

Disclaimer: Bioware owns the characters. I do not. *pouts*

Hawke awoke, still groggy, groping blindly behind her for the solid warmth of her lover, but all that met her searching hand was cold sheets. She sighed as dream sorted from reality and she remembered. No more of Ander's arms around her in the morning, no more long nights making love, no more afternoons walking along the coast. No more warmth or love in Marian Hawke's life.

She shook herself.

"That is not true." She chided herself. "Don't be morbid. Your friends care for you; they'll be there when you need them." And yet emptiness crept into her, a cold fist around her heart. She could take Fenris up on his puppy dog eyes and fierce loyalty, or go in for the quick tumbles that Isabela was forever offering, yet... She couldn't imagine how she was supposed to move on. The thought of ever taking a new lover was sickening. Anders' hands had been the first to caress her skin, his lips the first she'd tasted, and she'd hoped... she'd hoped they'd be the last.

She felt a dull hopelessness weigh upon her, and she covered her mouth with the back of one hand to stifle the sob that burst from her. Tears began to stream down her face as her fingers curled over her palm and she bit down on the skin of her hand, trying to distract herself from the mental anguish with physical pain. She curled her knees to her chest and rocked herself- sobbing, biting, reeling at the edge of hysteria, perhaps the edge of sanity.

She lost track of how long she remained that way, blood trickling thinly down her arm from the bite going unnoticed. She eventually curled up on her side, staring at the nothing with silent tears still running down her cheeks.

A soft knock sounded at the door, stirring her from her stupor.

"Hawke?" came Aveline's firm contralto.

"Just... Just a minute," she rasped, her voice gone rough from crying. She rose from her bed and splashed some of the tepid water from her wash basin on her tear-sticky face. She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. If she'd had the emotional capacity to be shocked, she would be. The face of a stranger stared back at her, hair rumpled, face pale, eyes haunted, bloodshot and red-rimmed, and dark circles sat like bruises underneath.

Shaking her head and running a hand through her hair to settle it somewhat, she crossed the room and cracked open the door. Aveline stood on the other side, Isabela, Fenris, and Varric close behind her.

"Oh kitten..." Isabela sighed, caressing Hawke's cheek softly with her fingertips.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Hawke insisted stubbornly, marshaling her wits. "What's gone wrong this time?"

"That transition wasn't much more graceful than Varric's." the voice in the back of her head quipped.

"Quiet, you!" She retorted to it. Then mentally she snorted and shook her head at herself. Arguing with the voices in her head? She must be going crazy.

Graceless segue aside, Aveline seized upon the topic. She was terrible at "girly feelings" anyway. "The Templars are completely out of hand. Cullen won't be able to hold them back for much longer. They think that if they can capture you, they can quell the mage rebellion. We're going to have to run for it. All of us. Merrill and Bethany are already waiting for us outside of the city. It's not a good time to be a mage in Kirkwall."

Hawke winced at the reluctance in Aveline's voice at the mention of leaving. She regretted dragging the Fereldan battle-maid down with her. She'd put down roots here in Kirkwall, rising to the position of Guard Captain despite prejudice against Fereldans, and she'd managed to find love again in Donnic. And now Aveline would have to sever her ties in Kirkwall and flee, or face persecution, or even death, simply because she was a loyal friend. Tears touched Hawke's cheeks again as she met Aveline's eyes, her own full of appreciation for the older woman's sacrifice, and Aveline's full of compassion, understanding, and mercifully empty of reproach.

"At least we'll all be together." Marian said, feeling a slight lift in her hopelessness at the love she felt for her loyal companions.

"Famous last words."

"Quiet, you!"