A/N: Thank you to micmic022, LivingReminder, Kari (Wouldn't think of it. I don't think she would take them anyway, so why do it?), HungerGamesLover1020, IwouldKilForaCheeseBun (nice name, I understand you;) I hope you like the length of the chapter. Oh, and I'd never give up), lovetheboywiththebread1 and DandelionOnFire (Yes I do know you and since I'm the same as "97", I guess I'd be a hypocrite if I was bothered by long reviews;) And thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it)
So, I promised this would be different and I'm not going to brake my promise. But I wanted you to know the stories I read were "Unfolding" by hgfan1111, "Love At First Song" by TacoBelle (and sequel) and "Even Without the Games" by booksandblades (am I the only one that waits for her to update?).
If there are other stories I do not know them, so any similarities are NOT on purpose and I can't stop them from happening, because well, I do not know this stories.
And what happened in the first chapter would have happened if there hadn't been other stories, too, because this is what I think would have happened.
Other than that, I hope you enjoy the chapter.
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own the Hunger Games, because if I did, Finnick would still be alive and Peeta would have recovered faster from his hijacking.
Chapter 2:
Today is Saturday. Today is the day I've dreaded and looked forward to. Dreaded, because today I'm, according to Prim, doing something I haven't done in years. Since my father died, actually. Maybe she's right. Doing something just for fun hasn't been in my life since I started being the head of my family. So, naturally, I'm a bit scared.
But what frightens me the most is not this fact. Nor is it that I won't be able to hunt today.
It's that I'll finally be doing what I should have done years ago. Today I'm finally going to say thank you to Peeta Mellark. Now, you'd think it doesn't take much courage to do so. It's only two words, really.
But to me, it's so much more than just two words.
To me, it's telling him he saved the thing most important to me: My little sister's life.
To me, it's finally swallowing my pride. (A/N: Originally I wanted to use a German proverb, but it doesn't exist in English and that's what comes closest to it. I think it's fitting though)
To do what I should have done in the school yard when our eyes met.
To me, it is making myself vulnerable. And that's something I'm not used to do.
The last point is what I'm fearing the most, I guess. I've never been one for talking about my feelings, even when my father was still alive and I was more carefree.
But I was looking forward to it, too. Because of Prim of course. She is very skilled and deserves to have this happiness. She admired the cakes for so long and I know how happy she is about trying to do one herself. With Peeta's help, so it'll be perfect. It's for a wedding, after all. And they pay much for it. But no money on this earth will be enough for the look on her face when she sees how they admire something she's created.
I've seen it before, when mother came back from her dark own world, after my father died. On this day, it was the brightest ever.
But I've also seen it on normal occasions. When lady licks her cheek. When buttercup cuddles up to her. When someone compliments her, like two days ago, when Peeta told her how beautiful her picture was. And I'd always do anything to see that look, full of life, reminding me why I have to keep going.
I'm also looking forward to it for the same reasons I'm dreading it. Except the last one of course.
But I'll finally have this burden, this guilt lifted off my shoulders and heart.
I'll finally be able to look at him without this guilt bubbling inside.
Of course, I can never fully pay him back. What Peeta Mellark did that day five years ago can never be forgotten. So much kindness can never be returned.
But if I at least say thank you and offer to do something to him, maybe someday I'm going to feel like I tried my best to pay back. That I did what I could.
I'm aware I could make a complete fool of myself. There's a chance he doesn't even remember. It can't have been that important to him, can it? So why should he?
But why would he be watching me if he didn't? My argument from two days ago, that he might watch me because I'm the "famous" huntress seems silly now.
That'd be a reason for watching me once. Maybe twice.
But not for sneaking glances at me over five whole years. The only logical explanation is that he remembers.
Anyway, I'm going to thank him today, whether he remembers or not . I've waited long enough.
I get up and the first thing I do is brushing my teeth. I always liked doing this, because I feel so refreshed after it. And that's one of the things that are never going to change.
The sun sets, the sun rises. No change in probably millions of years.
Eat and be eaten. Never going to change.
And after you brushed your teeth you feel refreshed.
I like things staying the way they are. If they always did, there wouldn't be any Hunger Games. So many children would still be alive. My father would still be alive.
But simple things, too. Like going hunting in the woods with Gale every day. But that did change, too, because he is now working in the mines.
Or Prim never turning twelve. She already is thirteen now, but I wish she would've stayed eleven forever. So she didn't have to put her name in the reaping ball.
I do not allow myself to think about this too often. After all, I live in reality.
We've got the burden of the Hunger Games, my father and this children are dead and Prim is thirteen.
And no amount of dreaming or wishing will change that.
So I let the thought drop. It's not important, anyway. I start washing myself. Usually I'd do this later, since there's no point in washing before hunting.
But I'm not going to go into the woods today, so I can wash myself now.
Prim's up now, too. She smiles at me as I start drying my hair: "Good morning, Katniss. You didn't forget what day today is, did you?" How could I?
"No, of course not. You kept reminding me every five minutes the last two days.", I challenge.
She giggles.
"What? I didn't want you to forget! Especially since I know how much you love forgetting to do things for yourself."
I glare at her half-heartedly. She knows I'm just concerned. I don't want her to suffer, let alone starve. But for some reason she thinks I should be more outgoing. Though she knows that's not me.
But Prim, because I wanted her to, is a bit naïve and thinks the world can be a good place someday. Of course she isn't stupid, she knows how evil the Hunger Games are, she knows how evil our president is. But she, unlike every other person in the districts, believes there has to be something good in everyone. Even in Snow.
"Oh, shut up. Is this a conversation about me needing more friends again?", I ask.
"Maybe…", Prim says.
I sigh. Naïve. "Prim, this isn't going to get us food on the table."
"No. It's about you being happy. Katniss, you deserve to be happy, too!" I know she thinks like that. But I am happy. At least as happy as I can be. I'm able to keep Prim alive. I go hunting with Gale. I've never been reaped. What else can I expect?
"I am happy Prim. Besides, I'm going to the bakery with you, aren't I?"
She has no arguments, now. She sighs. "I suppose."
I grin. "See?" I poke her in the ribs. "You have to accept it. There's no use in reasoning with me. I always win."
She sighs, then gives me a glare. "Some day I'll win."
With that, we drop our conversation. We eat breakfast, some Seam bread with cheese from Prim's goat, until Prim hops up and says: "We have to go now!"
She puts on her shoes and a jacket, since it's march and still a bit cold. I don't hurry. Like I said, or thought, more like, I didn't like to make myself vulnerable, so I was trying to spent more time dressing than I usually would.
Prim rolls her eyes. "Come on Katniss. You promised and there's no going back now."
She's right, of course. Still, I dawdle a bit. (A/N: I'm sorry if "dawdle" isn't the right word, that's what my dictionary told me, but it's supposed to mean you don't do something as fast as you could do it. I hope it's the right word)
But eventually, I have no excuse to do something any more and Prim drags me out of the house and into town. Well, more like she hops and I walk after her.
I know how exited she is and that is the main reason I agreed to let her go. She loved the cakes ever since I can remember and if she gets the chance to help decorating them, who am I to not allow it? There are so many bad things going on, i can't deny her something like this.
The main reason I go is because I want to thank Peeta.
By the time we arrive at the bakery the streets are already filled with merchants running their business
and customers, the people who actually have money, buying what the merchants sell.
When Prim opens the door the bell rings and I can smell fresh bread. I automatically want to get one of the soft bread which melts on your tongue and tastes so much better than our Seam bread.
But bread from the bakery is very expensive and I often can't afford it. So just the scent of it makes me want it.
One of the Mellark brothers is standing at the counter and now looking at us: "Welcome to the Mellark's bakery, can I help you?"
Oh. I didn't think that one of Peeta's brother would be here, too. I don't even know his name. But I guess he won a wrestling contest a few years ago. Peeta was second.
Not that his name would matter. But what am I supposed to tell him?
We want to see your brother, he said he'd let my sister help frosting the cake?
I don't know how much this boy thinks like his mother, but I, only because that is the normal case, assume he thinks we Seam kids are worthless and if he thinks like that, he won't be to fond of us helping with the cake.
Before I can say anything, Peeta, dressed in a blue t-shirt, jeans and an apron, comes out of the back, where the ovens are, and tells his brother:
"It's okay, they're here to help with the cake. I told you how talented the blonde one is? She is really good at drawing and I can use her help!"
His brother gives Peeta a strange look but says nothing about it. But I can guess where this look comes from.
I've seen Peeta's cakes about the years every time Prim dragged me to the window of the store. They are brilliant. Perfect, really. Why should he need help?
But it's a good reason why Prim and I are here. Well, it is the reason. Officially. But my reason is to finally thank Peeta.
"Peeta!", Prim exclaims and runs over to hug him. He laughs and hugs her back. "Hey Prim."
After she lets go of him, he looks at me and smiles. "Hey Katniss. How are you two?"
"We're fine", Prim replies. "Can we go now?"
His eyes were fixed on me, but after he heard her whining, he turns his attention back to Prim.
"Of course. Let's get started!", he says and motions for us to follow him.
I've, of course, never been in the back of the bakery. I' only able to take a glance at it whenever I sell a squirrel to the baker.
But since there's a small corridor, I can only see the oven.
Now I get to see the whole room for the first time:
The oven I've seen is not the only one, but the biggest. There's a smaller oven, too, for cookies and cakes I suppose.
Both ovens are covered in dust and look a bit old. I can see the glow the fire causes in the small spaces the oven door leaves between itself and the rest of the oven. This must be the oven I smelled the fresh bread in, because now the scent is even stronger. Ah, fresh bread.
Then there are two cupboards, the doors slightly opened, with ingredients like sugar and different kinds of spices, from what I see.
Also, there are a sink and a few Tables and other surfaces in the room.
Placed on one of the surfaces is a simple, round cake. Next to it is a smaller, but round too, one.
Next to this one is a once again smaller one. Only once have I seen something like this.
It was on Madge, my friend's 17th birthday. It was a two-story cake, almost too beautiful to eat. Made of chocolate.
Everyone who knew the Undersees was invited to the birthday. And I turned out that not only Madge is my friend, but her mother was a friend of my mother, too. So, naturally, I was invited.
Since I'm not important I didn't get a whole piece for myself, but one to share with my family.
Of course I gave it all to my mother and Prim, but they insisted I get at least a small bite.
It was the best thing I ever ate.
And three cakes that are going to be a three-story cake later, is now on a table only a few feet away from me.
It doesn't even have it's glaze yet, but it looks so delicious I want to eat it right now.
I know I can't though.
Next to it are a metal rod, to hold the three cakes together later, I guess. Three white plates with ruffles at the sides and a hole in the middle. For the metal rod, if I am right.
Also, there laying is a…what is it? A note book? And a pencil. Are they going to draw what they'll do first?
Peeta clears his throat, not only to catch my attention, but Prim's, too. My little sister has been staring, too.
"I know you want to eat them right now, but I don't think the bride and the groom would approve. It's for their wedding, after all", he says.
I blush a bit. Was it that obvious?
Prim has blushed, too. But she says "When do we start to frost it?"
Peeta laughs. "First, we have to plan it. I saw your picture on Thursday. I want you to use your fantasy
and draw a picture of this soon going to be three-story cake. Only one prerequisite. These…" he draws two little white swans out of his apron pocket "…little guys have to fit."
Prim's eyes lighten up. "Really? You want ME to design the cake?"
Peeta chuckles. "Of course! I'm sure you're going to do an amazing job! A wedding cake is rather a girl's thing, anyway, don't you think?"
Prim laughs and even I smile. For a different reason though. He's fully figured out my sister. How to make her laugh, how to make her happy.
"I guess", she says, still giggling. "Will you help me though?"
Peeta nods. "Yes, but I want you to do the first sketch. After all, this is the first cake you design. I want it to be fully how you would like it."
Prim beams at him. She hugs him again. "Thank you! I'll do my best!"
He smiles at her. "I know you will. And it will be beautiful, too."
And with that she grabs the notebook and begins sketching.
Peeta comes over to me. I am nervous again. All of sudden, I realize how stuffy and hot the air is and I start sweating. But like I said, that is not the only reason. Now is the perfect time to thank him. But how do I start?
And once again, I don't have to.
Peeta smiles at me and asks: "Do you see how happy she is? Are you happy you allowed her to go?"
I nod. "Yes, thank you."
"You're welcome." He looks at Prim again.
This is it. This is my chance. Now is the perfect time. If only I could just blurt it out. Come on Katniss, say it already!
"And…" I trail off. Katniss!
His attention is now back on me. He observes me closely. "And…What?"
I swallow hard. Come on now!
"And…thank you for…the bread." He looks confused. I knew he doesn't remember. I shouldn't have brought it up.
"What bread?", Peeta asks. But then, before I can say my never mind, I see a look of remembrance cross his face. "You mean…"
He trails his sentence off, too. So he does remember.
And suddenly, the words come flowing out of my mouth.
"Yes. I mean this bread you gave me five years ago. When we were eleven and I was starving. On this day in January. You saved me and my family! I know I should've thanked you back than, but I didn't. I'm sorry for that. I now I should have thanked you before but…I didn't…I mean, I couldn't, I… I don't know." Great Katniss, start stuttering.
"But…I owe you. So much, I…"
This time, it's not me that interrupts. It's Peeta. He looks upset, but his words surprise me.
"No, you don't owe me. Really! It was the right thing to do. The only thing, actually. It doesn't matter. So you don't owe me anything."
What? Doesn't he understand? Of course I do owe him! I start yelling.
"Yes I do! Didn't you listen? We would have starved! Died! You…you saved us! To me, it did matter! Still does! You got beaten! You…no one could've blamed you if you hadn't done it and…!"
He interrupts me once again. He's yelling now, too.
"I would! I would have blamed myself, knowing that I was able to help and didn't do it!" And then he adds, his voice lowered now, and so quietly I almost don't understand it: "I couldn't have let you starve."
That makes me stop talking. How he emphasized the you.
Why me? That doesn't make sense. What is so special about me that he couldn't let me starve?
"What?", I ask, my voice barely above a whisper now.
"Never mind.", he says, though he sounds a bit shocked. He obviously didn't intend for me to hear it.
With that, he goes back to Prim, who is watching us now.
"Is everything okay?", she asks.
For some reason, I don't want her to know about this…how do I call it? Fight? No. Argument? Yes, that sounds better.
So, before Peeta can even attempt to respond, I answer:
"Everything is fine. Don't worry!", and give Peeta a we-will-talk-later look.
Wow. Today is the first day I really talked to him properly and already I'm giving him this look. What is happening…?
"How far are you with your sketch?", Peeta, who seems to have gotten the meaning of my look, asks Prim, to change the topic.
Prim still looks a bit suspicious, but answers though: "I'm ready. Do you want to see it?"
"Of course", Peeta replies and looks at her drawing. His blue eyes widen. "Wow!"
I want to see it, too. But Prim gets an idea, I can see it in the way her eyes twinkle. And this idea isn't good for me.
When I arrive to take a glance at the sketch, she shields it from my view. I look at her bewildered.
"Prim! I want to see it, too!"
"Nope. You won't get to see it until it is done!", she says, with a sneaky expression on her face.
"But why?", I ask her. Yes, why? I'm supposed to "enjoy " myself, how Prim called it. How do I do that if I'm not even allowed to help?
"Because I want it to be a surprise, that's why", Prim interrupts my thoughts. Now Peeta's grinning at her. "That's a great idea!" He then turns to me. "You will love it, I swear! Just have a bit of patience."
I sight annoyed, but say nothing. I know Prim and she's as stubborn as I am. And I may not know Peeta that good, I know him barely, actually, but from what I know from our argument he can be stubborn, too.
And because apparently they don't want me to see, I cannot see anything. Well, besides the ingredients they are gathering.
Sugar. A lemon. And…something I've never seen before. These things are white rolls, some smaller some bigger. And I can see a knife. Why would they need a knife?
I consider asking for a moment, but since I know they won't answer, I drop the thought.
Since it's of no use to watch them, they shield the cakes and ingredients from my view, I drift with my thoughts to the conversation I had with Peeta earlier.
He said I couldn't have let you starve.
What did he mean with that? And why did he emphasize the you? What is it about me that he doesn't want me to die? Was it just that I was(well, still am) in his year? Or is there more? But what?
Come to think of it, why did he even do it? After all, he could have done nothing. Like I told him earlier, no one would have blamed him.
This could be answered easily if it weren't for his words. If it weren't for this you.
I remember a few minutes ago when I thought I know him barely. That's not true I realize. At the moment, I feel like I don't know him at all.
That shouldn't surprise me. But somehow, it does.
Why?
I can add this to the list of things I don't know about him. I just can't figure him out.
But then again, isn't it a bit to soon to tell? I've only talked to him a few times. I can count those times on one hand.
But nevertheless am I standing here, trying to figure him out. Trying to discover his motives. Why did he act like he did? Why does he still do it?
Being kind, I mean.
Why does he accept, even appreciate Prim's help?
He doesn't need it. Years of watching his cakes are prove enough. So why? Is it really pure kindness? Or is there something else indeed?
But what? This drives me crazy. Maybe I have to get to know him better to figure him out?
I realize where my thoughts are going.
Especially the last one and the one about to soon to tell. I have a feeling, that by agreeing to come here I also agreed to get to know Peeta. Something I hadn't want in years. To get to know anyone I mean.
But now I want to figure him out. I want to know more, I want to understand.
And I still want to pay him back.
I realize this two things can be connected. If I get to know him I can also find a way to pay him back. And maybe, just maybe, I can find the answer to all my questions.
I'm not quite sure why this is the case. That I want this answers. Maybe because I'm naturally curious. Maybe it's the fact that he is the boy with the bread, that he is the one who helped me when no one else did. Maybe it's something else. But I guess, after today, after this short argument, the only way to get my answers is indeed to get to know him. Great!(That's sarcastic)
"Katniss!"
Prim's voice interrupts my thoughts once again. "We're done!"
Now she's got my full attention. Finally I get to see that cake!
Peeta, who holds a piece of fabric to cover the cake, waits until I'm standing right in front of it. Then he and Prim say:
"One."
"Two."
"THREE!"
With that, Peeta drops the fabric and to my view comes the most beautiful, breathtaking cake I've ever seen. And over the years I've seen a lot.
I feel that my mouth hang slightly open. I close it immediately. "WOW!", I say, using the same word Peeta was using earlier.
But I can't find any other words. This cake is a masterpiece.
Two cakes are decorated exactly the same. But, how I figured, they are all three positioned on the plates, the only thing visible of the plates are the ruffles. The metal rod is holding them together, it's placed in the middle of the three cakes hovering above each other. Well, of course not really hovering, since they are attached to the metal rod, but I don't find any other word to describe it.
They cakes are all frosted with white icing. On the lower edge of the cakes positioned are the white little rolls. Some more ruffles are on the upper edge.
Two cakes are, and now I can see why they needed the bigger rolls and the knife.
One of the two, Peeta I suppose, has carved the rolls. They now are shaped like white roses. The parts he cut away are now looking like individual petals. Or at least, I suppose that are the parts he cut away. They look so real.
But the most beautiful is the cake on the top. It's got this ruffles and rolls, too, but what really draws my attention are the two swans Peeta showed Prim. The are placed across from each other. In front of them are two small, golden rings. Of course, not real ones. But they look like they are real.
"Wow", I say again. "That's perfect. How did you do it? The roses seem so real, if I didn't know you made it out of this rolls, I wouldn't believe they aren't real. What was it, anyway? This rolls I mean."
Prim has blushed because of my compliments, but Peeta only laughs. "It's called white chocolate. It tastes really good, here try." (A/N: To Kari, I hope you don't hate me for this, I wouldn't really consider it a gift)
He hands me a small piece of this white chocolate. It must be one of the pieces he cut away. Still, I'm reluctant to eat it. He sees my expression and says: "Oh, just eat it. It's only a centimeter, really. Someone will eat it sooner or later. I don't need it for the cake! And Prim and I already had a piece."
And because this is are good arguments and I really want to try how it tastes, I eat it.
It's so good, I could eat it over and over again. It tastes sweet, like nothing I've ever eaten before. We can't afford any kind of chocolate, it's much to expensive. I've tasted chocolate once though, on Madge's birthday since the cake was a chocolate cake.
But this is different. And I like it. I think it tastes even better than brown chocolate.
Peeta smiles. "Do you like it?"
"Yes.", I say truthfully. "It's the best thing I ever ate."
Prim laughs. "I know what you mean. I like brown chocolate better though."
Here we go again. This is the normal case. Prim is the exact opposite of me. Not only her character, but everything else, too. She loves Buttercup, I hate the ugly cat. She heals, I kill. She likes brown chocolate better, I like white chocolate better.
That's just the way things are and always will be.
"I'm glad you like it.", Peeta says.
A pang of guilt flows through me. "But…I can't pay you anything for it…."
Peeta looks taken aback. "What? You don't need to give me anything in return. It's just the leftover and I won't need it. Besides, if you really think it needs to be paid, I have to pay you and Prim even more. After all, this was Prim's idea and she helped me. So, see the chocolate as paid.
But…I could pay you more, money I mean, if you want me to. After all, she did the main work on this cake."
What? No! I can't! I already owe him to much. He made Prim happy by letting her help. I don't think she wants to be paid.
But other than that, I could never take money from him. He was the one that made sure I'm still alive and I can't take money from him.
But I can't explain that with Prim still around. I want to though. So I decide to tell her to go home. I still want to talk to Peeta anyway. I'm just about to say something when Prim beats me to it:
"No, you don't need to pay me, I liked doing it. I wanted it. You really don't need to pay me."
"But….", Peeta begins but I interrupt him.
"No, she's right, you know? Prim, can you wait for me in front of the bakery please. I need to talk to Peeta in private. Please." I say.
Prim gives me a confused look but nods. "Okay, I will wait. Bye Peeta!"
She goes over to hug him, then she's out of the door.
Peeta sighs. "Is this going to be about that owning thing again? Please, believe me, you don't owe me anything."
How can one person be this stubborn? I sigh, too.
"Yes Peeta I do. I do owe you! Can't you understand? You saved us. We would have starved without you." I don't know why it is so easy to talk about it now, but somehow, it is. The words just come to me. "And I want to pay you back. I'm not the kind of person who can leave a debt unpaid. I want to do something. I can't pay with money and I don't know how I can, but maybe I can do something for you.
I know, no matter what, it'll never be enough, but…I just want to think I did at least try to pay you back.
Peeta considers this for a long time. His expression reveals nothing and he runs he fingers through is blond curls. After a long time he finally says:
"Ok, If you really want to pay me back that badly, then take me out into the woods!"
For everyone who wants to see that cake, here's the link:
.de/imgres?imgurl=.&imgrefurl=.com/%3Fp%3D1388&usg=_RRXllZ3kOxUl8iGicDyzAmypAeE=&h=500&w=362&sz=99&hl=de&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=qKb9oFq3pOGqUM:&tbnh=168&tbnw=122&ei=l6LOTrvyDoOcOvq7qbMK&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dzweist%25C3%25B6ckige%2Bhochzeitstorte%2Bmit%2Bschwan%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dde%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DSrL%26rls%:de:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D856%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=192&vpy=300&dur=356&hovh=193&hovw=140&tx=125&ty=140&sig=107191979780325834262&page=1&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0
You won't understand the language on this website, since it's German, but the only thing that matters is the cake, anyway. I posted this link cause i'm not too good with describtions.
If you want to thank anyone for this chapter, thank Suzanne Collins for writing the Hunger Games, and Hans Zimmer, Lebohang Morake, Elton John and Tim Rice for composing and writing the music and lyrics to lion king. My brother was watching it and so I was listening to the music while I was writing. And, believe it or not, it kinda inspired me.
Sooooooo, what did you think? I really hope you liked it, I had so much work with it! But you see, the bakery scene is different from those three stories above, right?
After writing this, I went back to these stories to check if there are similarities, but I at least didn't find any(besides the fact that they are in a bakery).
And what do you think will Katniss' answer be? There's only ONE way to tell me!
REVIEW!