AN: Hey, everyone. Sorry this took so long. Finals and job requirements meant no extra time to write. But, that's over now. I got a lot of speculations from the last chapter, lets see if you were right. Also, this chapter marks the ratings switch from T to M, so be warned. Enjoy and have a wonderful day/night!
I groggily opened my eyes to warm rays of sunshine filtering through the pale green curtains. Stretching, I loosened my muscles as I vaguely took stock of the room. Since my banishment, I had been taking residence in a safe house we used for cases that required extended protection. It was a simple single bedroom house in a somewhat rural area, just outside of Seattle. The furniture and décor was simple and serene, and best of all, it was magically protected against UnderWorld forces. I was safe here…at least, from bounty hunters or any other non-humans attempting to harm me.
Opting to stay in bed a little longer, I slipped my eyes closed and foolishly allowed images from my dreams to replay in my mind. Callie. That's all I've been dreaming about for three nights. Since our kiss. By fate, forgetfulness, or unconscious design we had not exchanged contact information or made additional plans. I had no idea when I would get to see her again, or even if I would. Maybe she didn't want to see me again, there was a few uncertain moments that night. Maybe she has some secret of her own.
Shaking the unwanted thought from my head, I breathed deep and refocused on my unconscious and pleasant thoughts from the night. Last night's dream had been the most…erotic, that I have ever experienced. As angels we do not generally dream. Rare circumstances can cause premonitions, visions, or recovered memories, but no pointless dreams. Certain angels possess the ability to see things that haven't happened yet, or might happen, or happened in the past, which present as dreams and I'm one of those angels. That's what O'Malley was referring to when saying that I was valuable and special. They are capable of using my powers for their own agenda. Anyway, that's not what this dream was. This dream was not of the future, not a warning of things to come if I don't stop it, not recovered memories. This dream was pure, human longing.
Sighing, I recalled the feeling of her lips pressed against mine. The way her hands gripped my hips, causing my heart rate to spike. Her tongue stroked mine with expertise and desire. I could feel her body press urgently, but tenderly against mine. My body felt like it was burning from the inside, out. From these actual memories sprang the creative license of my dream. Those same feelings existed, but this time we weren't on the curb by my fake car, we were in a beautiful Victorian home, stumbling over polished hardwood floors to a gorgeous four post bed. Soft lights illuminated the room as we flopped onto the soft mattress. Callie's body covered mine, gently pushing down in a slow rhythm. Quiet moans began to escape my mouth as she massaged my thighs, moving toward my core at an excruciating pace. Her mouth explored the smooth flesh of my neck as she finally tickled my center through thin panties. Gasping, my head flew back as she added pressure in slow circles, working my body into an unprecedented frenzy.
Squirming on my small bed, I could feel my body ready itself for the promised sensations my mind was reliving. My whole being felt flushed and anxious, my hands repeatedly flexed and relaxed next to me, and my legs shifted across the cotton sheets, searching for the warm body I craved. Groaning in dread, I felt my neglected clitoris engorge, and heated liquid gather between the folds of my center. Unbidden, my hand crawled to the waistband of the shorts I wore to bed, fiddling with the elastic, stalling. Self gratification was forbidden for an angel, it directly corresponded with lust, which was unacceptable. Still, as the images continue to flash through my brain, the need for physical contact increased to unbearable heights. Whimpering in desperation as I thought about Callie's hand stroking me, I let my fingers inch under the band. Clenching my jaw, I pushed down lower, coming to the patch of soft curls. Gulping in nervousness at the line I was about to cross, I held my breath and bridged the last distance to my slick slit. Sighing at the feeling of my fingers on the ignored flesh, I was surprised at how thoroughly my body had responded to just thinking about Callie. Running through the wetness a few time, adjusting to the new sensations, I finally sought out the one place I needed pressure. Brushing over my hardened nub, pleasure shot through me, causing my eyes to shoot open and a deep gasp to fly out of my mouth. I hadn't done this very often even when I was alive, but the process came back to me, regardless. Adding more pressure, I sped up a little, drawing small, tight circles around my throbbing clit. My hips flew off the bed to meet my hand. I swallowed hard, trying to control my breathing as mental recollections played in my mind, allowing me to imagine that it was Callie making my body alive with pleasure. Licking my lips, I moaned as I felt my muscles contract and the pressure in my belly build. I vaguely remember this feeling, it meant my physical release was coming. My hand moved quicker and my breath came in short puffs. Biting my lip, I prepared to experience something that I hadn't even thought about in seventy years.
"Arizona?"
The melodic voice instantly broke the spell. Yanking my hand from my shorts with a cry of coiled frustration, I smoothed my cloths and hair, and opened the door leading to the living room. "Theodora? What are you doing here?" I asked when spotting my friend standing at the mantel. It was a great feat to keep the annoyance and desperation out of my voice. Even standing there right next to her, someone I really needed to hide my previous activities from, my center burned for attention.
Teddy turned toward me about to say something, then stopped when she took in my appearance. She cocked her head to the side and closely examined me, which made me fidget. She couldn't possibly know what I was just doing, right? Maybe I was more messy than I thought? "Were you still sleeping?" Teddy asked to my surprise.
"Uh, yeah. So?" I responded quickly, eager to keep the conversation on safer topics.
"It's kind of late for you to be in bed still." She commented, while continuing to stare at me as if scrutinizing every detail about me.
"Well, I don't really have anywhere to be, and I've been working hard lately. I let myself catch some extra sleep. Is that a problem?" I asked as I sunk onto the couch, crossing my legs tightly, trying to ease the throbbing.
"Not really, it's just unusual for you…Are you feeling alright?" Her eyes squinted as she once again scanned my body.
"Yeah, fine. Why?" My nerves jingled in anticipation.
"You're sleeping late, giving me short answers to questions, dodging eye contact, and you're oddly flushed." Teddy pointed out.
Blushing further, I shook my head, "It's just difficult being here on Earth without being able to go home. It's overwhelming to deal with everything." My voice rose slightly as my agitation built at her accusations.
"Arizona, I don't want to say it…but…the humanity on you is nearly palpable. You were not this far gone when I last saw you. I can barely feel the angel in you…you almost appear human." Teddy's voice hardened, as if angry.
I sprung to my feet, "Thanks, Teddy. How supportive of you to declare that I'm 'gone'!" Hurt stung my heart as I absorbed her words, the truth of them intensifying the pain, "You have no idea what I'm dealing with down here. You get to stay up in your pretty pink bubble and look down on me, judging me, but not helping. You tell me what to do, Theodora. You tell me what I'm doing wrong, and what I can do to fix it. Because, I'm trying…I'm trying…" I trailed off as emotions gripped at my heart, most of them painful.
Teddy sighed and shook her head, "I don't know what to tell you to do. I'm here for moral support, not answers. All I know is you're losing the battle, Arizona. Humanity is taking over your soul and I can't see you doing anything to stop it." Teddy took a step closer to my slightly shaking form, "Is it the anger in you, or something else?"
I shrugged and turned my back, "The anger…I can't get rid of it." I replied, knowing that it wasn't a total lie, but it certainly wasn't the whole truth. An image of Callie in her purple dress flashed in my mind, her eyes sparkling with adoration.
"Who was that?" Teddy's voice was sharp.
I whirled around, "Who was who?" I demanded, dreading the answer I was sure to get.
"The woman that you just thought about. Who is she?" Teddy crossed her arms and stared at me, daring me to refuse her the truth.
Embarrassment and irritation flared in me as I immediately blocked my mind and closed off the thoughts I couldn't let her see. My voice came out in a low growl, warning her, "I told you to stay out of my head. It's none of your business."
"It's my business if she's the reason for your rapid decline." Teddy spat back, her usually calm demeanor slipping.
"I'm dealing with it, so leave it alone." My eyes glowed, and my fists clenched beside me.
"Fine. But, you don't have much time left, so figure it out fast. Or…you're done as an angel." Teddy shot me one last pointed look before disappearing from my sight.
I grunted in frustration as she departed. How dare she? She comes over, interrupting something I needed, then gets all judgmental and accusing. How dare she accuse me of not trying to get back? How dare she invade my privacy and use it against me? How dare she threaten my position as an angel?
I began to pace furiously across the living room carpet, the cheap material roughly caressing my feet. She's not wrong, though. As evident by my actions this morning, I am quickly embracing my humanity, intentionally or not. Unfortunately, the impetus is the one thing I can't stay away from. Callie. The wrath I initially succumbed to failed to down me when Callie was present, even if only mentally present. However, my attraction to Callie coaxed my humanity out faster than the wrath. My feelings for her are stronger than my feelings of anger at the loss of my brother. This meant that further contact with her held great danger for me if I want to be an angel again. I knew that already, but my run in with Teddy brought that fact into a glaring spot light. Sighing, I continued my internal debate.
I needed to see her again. I needed to never see her again. Which need do I ignore? My heart screamed for Callie, but my soul longed for the purpose and satisfaction that came with being an angel. I could find her. Focusing on her would bring me right to her. I can't do that, though. I was made to be an angel and that's where I have to set my sights.
Nodding my head in resolution, I headed to my room. Noting that, at least, my body had calmed, I decided that I should get out of the house. I pulled on some jeans and a shirt and headed out the door. Closing my eyes, I thought about a hot cappuccino and scone. When my eyes opened, I recognized my surroundings as a café, but not the café I had envisioned. That's strange. Maybe my powers were losing effectiveness. Shrugging at the mishap, I slid into an open chair and waited for a waitress. I smiled politely when a small brunette approached me and asked for my order. After asking for a double cappuccino and a blueberry scone, she headed off with a nod. Sucking in the cool air, I scanned my surroundings, idly wondering why I ended up at this café.
The answer appeared as I caught a glimpse of a head of familiar wavy raven hair. Callie. Sitting straighter in my chair, I craned my neck to see her better. My powers seem to have a life of their own, as they brought me across town to find her. This must be a sign. I'm done fighting this. I want Callie, and I'm going to go get her. Standing on trembling legs, I turn toward her, then come to a halt when I take in the rest of the table. She's not alone. The tall, busty red head came into view when I stood. I held my breath as I observed their behavior with rapt attention. Who was she?
As I watched, Callie threw her head back, laughing heartily at something the other woman said. The red head smiled and laid her hand on Callie's arm as she continued with her story. Callie leaned in closer in what seemed like anticipation of the woman's words. White hot pain scorched through my body, leaving not part untouched. A mixture of rage, betrayal, and something else cursed through my veins. Callie had a girlfriend, or wife, or something. That's why she took me to a secluded, hole-in-the-wall joint. That's why she comes off as mysterious. That's why she hesitated when it came time to kiss me. That's why she didn't set up another date or give me her number again. She felt guilty for cheating on her girlfriend. She played me. I felt like I was going to vomit, but I couldn't look away.
The two women continued to talk and touch lightly, oblivious to the damage inflicted just yards away. I was still standing there when the women paid their tab and stood. I knew I should move to avoid the risk of her seeing me, but pain had me rooted and unable to tear myself away from the devastating sight. Callie grinned at the other woman as they slipped their arms around each other and walked away from the café, leaving me staring at their backs. How dare she touch my Callie? Jealousy. That's the unnamed emotion taking residence in my heart. No one but me should be touching her. Tears sprung to my eyes as I felt my heart shatter. Or what I'd imagine shattering felt like. I've never felt pain this intense before. As the couple disappeared from sight, I found my motor function and spun around, stalking away from ground zero. Blinking back the flowing tears, I tried to focus on the safe house. However, when I opened my eyes I realized that I remained on the same crowded street. I tried again. Nothing. My power to transport was gone.
I was experiencing raw human heart break, and there was nothing angelic about that.
AN: Did you like it? Do you hate me? Do you want a peanut butter cookie? I do…