A/N: Blah, stupid life, getting in the way of my updates, eh? Here's the next chapter. Enjoy! PS- picking up my Second Coming issues tomorrow, I accidentally clicked on a spoiler that showed something -quite-
traumatic happening to Julian...with Laura looking horrified in the background. Eeeep! x_X
( Volume: 4 Arc: "not this again" 7 Issue: 3/5 )
Chapter 147 : news
Logan stared at Laura, who in turn was staring at him (in a manner somewhat similar to the time she'd announced her marriage to 'the punk'). It was odd how Laura milked situations
for all they were worth; she seemed to thrive on shocking people. These shocks could range from pranks to enormous lifestyle changes, such as now.
He thought he felt his heart freeze in his chest.
"Yer kidding," he said, unintentionally slurring his words. Logan had a habit—a habit that sometimes annoyed him—of contracting some of his vowels. He wasn't sure when or where he'd
picked it up (or if he'd been taught it at a young age; who was to know how a child of turn-of-the-century Alberta spoke?), but he was aware that it made him sound like a redneck.
Logan didn't care all that much for other people's opinions, but occasionally the odd one annoyed him. Such as people assuming his interests included beer, cigars, and
motorcycles. Logan was actually fluent in about five languages, highly trained in military tactics (including a complete world history of battle), field first aid and basic
chemistry; he held two Bachelor of Science degrees, one in History and one in English, that he had completed 'for the hell of it' while at Xavier's, and he owned a collection
of classic books that rivaled the Professor's. He collected antiques. He owned some high-priced suits that he left in his closet because he didn't feel like dressing up for
a bunch of pizza-faced teenagers.
Despite all this, apparently, he was a redneck.
And Laura was now dragging out this quality, staring at him with what must be a mirror image of his expression (because she was his clone, how weird was that).
Like a fish, with wide eyes, her a mouth hanging slightly open.
She shook her head, no.
"Jesus Christ!" Logan exclaimed. More of the little hell-raisers that had terrorized him for the past two years that they'd been alive. That had destroyed half his little
apartment, removing anything that was lightly attached, like a team of miniature, telekinetic wrecking balls. Not only that, but he'd suffered physically at the hands
of the boy, Nate.
Over the last year, Nate had stabbed him two hundred and thirteen times; he had electrocuted him when forced to take a bath (setting Logan's hair on fire and
subsequently the curtains); he had destroyed a two-hundred-year-old book of poetry that Logan had treasured above all his other possessions (drawing pictures
of dinosaurs in crayons all over almost every page); he had broken Logan's laptop by spilling apple juice all over the keyboard; he had caused a large spiral fracture
in Logan's LCD flat-screen TV (not to mention the twenty or so monitors he had damaged in Costco, an adventure in which had resulted with Logan being imprisoned
for four hours while waiting for Frost to secure his release); he had even broken the precious disc containing Logan's weapon X files (thank god he had backed them
up, yes, on the lap top Nate had later broken but he'd had the sense to make other copies before then).
It went on and on.
And Laura had just announced there was going to be more.
More?
"H-how…" Logan paused, cleared his throat (he'd never stuttered before). "How many, this time?"
"Eight," Laura said.
Snikt.
She threw back her head and laughed. "OHMIGOD, your FACE! AHAHAHAHA! No, we don't know yet. It's too soon. You can put them back in now, Mr. Mum."
Logan felt a strong urge to hunt down Laura's creators and show them just how thankful he was that they'd made such an irritating clone of him, in female form,
so he couldn't teach her a lesson. Then he remembered they'd already done that; and what Laura had suffered at their hands.
His initial irritation softened. "God damnit, half-pint, I'm an old man. Don't play with me like that!"
"You'd totally have done it, if you could," Laura teased. "Having a uterus is awesome. Best joke ever."
Logan snarled. "Where's your man? I'm gonna castrate him, that sonuva—"
"He's somewhere safe," Laura said, unimpressed with this threat. "You're not going to lay a single finger on him, except in congratulations."
"And why would I do that?" Logan snapped.
Laura sighed. "Because…he's taken it really well, I think. It's not…it's not really his fault." She paused, then brightened, thinking of a way to explain it. "You'd
understand. You know that nifty berserking thing you have?"
Logan blinked. This was the closest they'd come to discussing the trauma.
"Well, being your clone, it goes with the trend that I have it to. But mine's much more awesome…guess what I do?"
"Don't!" Logan barked, holding up his hand. Laura obviously wasn't ready to talk about it on serious terms, and anything she said was likely to be full of
rude innuendo. "Don't wanna know. Jesus. I hate you kids, all o' ya. Dunno what I did to deserve you, but it must've been hella bad…"
"Oh, come now, you don't mean that," Laura said matter-of-factly. "You're totally thrilled. You love the Shrimps, and the second you see a new model you'll be all
over it. Might even get you away from Assface—er, I mean Daken."
Logan gave her an annoyed look. "Laura—"
She fixed him with a direct look. "That's the most love for him you'll ever get out of me, Logan. Be happy with it. Thank god my kids are much prettier."
Logan snorted, despite himself. "Get out of my hair, clone. Gotta finish setting up for class. Hell, why'd you tell me now? You know I'll take it out on the students."
"I know," Laura said, her eyes glittering and the corners of her mouth turning up in a delighted grin. "Wish I could stay and watch, but…places to go, people to surprise, y'know?"
Logan waved her away.
…
"We figured the best way to fight oppression is passive resistance. So while they try to kill us off, we'll just undo their work from the other end!" Laura said
enthusiastically. "For every mutant that they explode, we'll make five more. I can churn 'em out like an easy-bake oven. It's like the best plan ever."
Scott and Emma stared at her, speechless.
"Ah-heh," Laura said, enjoying their expressions. "You know I'm just messing with you…right?"
"It's hard to tell with you sometimes, Laura," Scott said, although he allowed a smile (of relief) to cross his face as he folded his arms "You're off the team, of course."
"I thought I already was, seeing as I can just barely walk," she replied. "Unless you were planning to use me for air bombing or something. You know…drop me
from a good height and hope I hit the target…"
"Hardly," Emma said, tapping her pencil on the desk. Both the headmaster and headmistress had frozen in place at Laura's announcement; Emma's pencil lead
had audibly snapped from the sudden pressure, leaving a mark on her desk.
"Well…I believe congratulations are in order," Emma said, recovering. "How far along are you?"
"Maybe a week, or two." Laura paused. "It's a long story, involving conspiracy, embarrassment and awkward situations. Oh, by the way, Dr. McCoy really doesn't
take the patient confidentiality thing all that seriously."
"I see," Scott said, rubbing his chin. "What…"
"Why don't you just ask him? I'm sure he'll be more than happy to have another pair of ears to spread it to," Laura said, her voice suddenly scathing.
Silence.
"Hormones," Laura said dismissively, waving her hand in the air like nothing odd had transpired. "Anyways, I have to go home and cook supper, so I'll see you later."
"Take care," Scott said in a distant voice, slightly disturbed.
…
"Who'd you tell?" Julian asked Laura in an undertone, nervously, as he unzipped his uniform jacket, pretending to peer into the pot of macaroni on the stove (for the benefit of
James, who was doing homework at the kitchen table, and who hadn't been informed yet).
"Tell?" Laura blinked, still holding the pasta spoon. "OH! Just Logan…and the big heads. You know…it's early, don't know how it'll go, right?"
"Right," Julian said, relieved. He paused. "You didn't—" he nodded slightly to James, apprehensive. He knew the boy would be as difficult as possible, and that any criticism of his
person would be in the future answered with snide comments about his latest blunder.
Laura noticed his apprehension. "Totally forgot! HEY EMO!"
"No—Laura, I'll tell him later," Julian hissed, grabbing her wrist. Thankfully his brother appeared to be ignoring them completely. He pulled her towards the bedroom and closed
the door, consciously aware of Laura's raised eyebrow.
"Look, I just feel awkward about it, alright? It's weird to tell someone that saw you grow up that you're having a kid."
"Because you don't have them already. I see how that makes total sense."
"Shut up. I'll tell him, just give me time, alright?"
Laura folded her arms, rolled her eyes, made an impatient noise. "Fine. But remember, it's not something you can sweep under the rug."
"I'm well aware of that," Julian said uneasily. "Did you try your mom?"
"Yeah," Laura said. "Still can't get hold of her…and the news keeps piling up. I guess I'll call her back tomorrow."
Julian watched her carefully. "What are you going to tell her?"
"I was thinking something along the lines of 'some douchebag knocked me up', but I can get technical if you'd like and say you actually got it in yourself this time…that was
totally a ten-point shot," Laura said, grinning.
He rolled his eyes. "No, the…implants."
Laura stared at him, then started laughing her head off. He watched, vaguely annoyed but thinking that perhaps it was a hysterical reaction to the thought of the horror she'd been
subject to, but then she spoke (about a minute later).
"I'll say I starred on extreme makeover—adamantium edition," she wheezed.
"Oh my god," Julian said, definitely annoyed now. "Laura, seriously, I'm worried that you seem to gloss over it so easily. You were like a puppy when I found you. You can't just go back
to normal like this. Like—snap—all better."
Laura raised her eyebrow. "You'd rather I be depressed?"
"No, that's not what I—"
"I can cry if you want, I can go lie on the sofa and just quit living," Laura said, her voice even.
"No—I'm just concerned that you're completely unaffected," he said.
She paused.
"Julian…I've already lived this, all of this, when I was five years old." Laura was staring him down. "I grew up then. There's nothing more anyone can do to me that will change me, make
me any more unstable than I already am. The memories are all the same. One and one make one. Do you understand me?"
He took a while to answer. Thought of his own life, and how he'd dealt so far, the way that he was coping, and had been coping. He could, in a way, see Laura's logic to the situation.
"Yes," he said.
"Good." Laura paused. "And…I don't want you to treat me differently. I don't want you to think you need to be here all the time, just because Kimura might be lurking. If I ever see that
goddamn bitch again…" Apparently she had no memory of being recovered.
"I don't think you need to worry," Julian said quietly. "I took care of it."
Silence. They both knew what he meant.
Laura paused. "That's why you're not walking around with a clenched ass, huh?"
"Pretty much. And I never do that."
"Only when you're really mad."
"Hey, it's the only way to stay in shape," Julian agreed. "Anger is like a total anaerobic exercise."
"No wonder Logan's so built," Laura commented.