Phew! Finally!

Okay, folks, just warning you now...

There is a LOT of Kakashi-angst in this chapter. Honestly, I felt like such a douche-bag writing it (Kakashi's my favorite character, why should he have so many BAD things happen to him?) but I assure you I only did it to make Kakashi's reluctance to become Hokage more clear.

Hope you all like it! If you have any questions, comments, or critiques...

PLEASE REVIEW!

Chapter 15

Kakashi was unsure of what to feel as he and the group of returning shinobi – the Konohagakure shinobi, seeing as the rest had their own villages to attend to in the face of the upcoming war – passed the last stretch of charred trees, and came face to face with the still-standing walls of Konoha. The walls were still strong and beautiful, and with his keen vision the silver-haired man caught sight of several guards atop the wall, raising their hands in greeting and hurrying to open the large wooden gates.

Part of him was happy to be home, even if it was still unbearable to look around at the barren and destroyed earth and come to terms with the fact that the buildings and trees he had grown up in were gone forever. No matter what was rebuilt, the scar of the attack would remain branded upon the survivors as well as on the land itself.

But after the meeting that elected him the temporary Hokage – Sasuke had killed Danzō, an act that was surprisingly ignored, seeing as Danzō had secretly been controlling the leader of the meeting, as well as attempting to place an unnecessary assassination tab on an innocent shinobi – Kakashi couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt and sadness. He didn't have what it took to be Hokage. He wasn't cut out for it.

The first time Kakashi had been placed in a position of high authority, he lost his best friend.

"I've been thinking of what to give you…and I finally have it."

Kakashi stared at the dying chuunin in horror, and the Uchiha's lips parted in a bloody smile of peace.

"My Sharingan," he whispered, and Kakashi stared without seeing, and Obito went on, in that same contented tone that made Kakashi's eyes prick with hopeless emotion. "I finally understand…why you were made jounin. You're a great shinobi; I know…I know that, I think I've always known. Please take it…"

Rin hunched over, her tears splattering on the rubble, her sobs filling the air with their quiet lament and their quiet fear. Kakashi stared at his hands, unable to answer. This couldn't be happening…no, he could do something.

"I'm dying anyway, guys. Let me live on in Kakashi, let me see the future you two help create…"

Kakashi raised his head, and his eyes were raw and full of tears, the angle of his face making it so only Obito witnessed the tears. Obito's eye widened slightly, and then crinkled in a smile.

"I believe in you, Kakashi."

The second time, in the village streets closest to the gates during the Kyuubi attack, Kakashi's lack of prowess in medical jutsu resulted in a small child – she had just graduated from the Academy – dying in his arms.

The girl was slowly fading, her pale blue eyes staring up at the clear night sky. The moon cast a deathly pallor on her innocent face, and fifteen-year-old Kakashi pushed even more chakra into his jutsu, knowing without having to say or think it that he was probably doing more harm than good. His control wasn't nearly good enough to fix the damage done.

The girl had been helping civilians to the shelters when the Kyuubi's tail suddenly crashed into the outer wall, sending poles and pieces of concrete and metal crashing into the streets. A metal rod had hit her, and only her. The worst kind of bad luck, knowing that at any moment you could have pushed yourself just a little bit faster to avoid the final blow.

Racking coughs filled her chest, resulting in more blood pumping out of the thick hole in her abdomen. Her mouth was covered in blood and dust, and Kakashi shook away the memory of Obito's face, covered similarly in blood. Kakashi wouldn't lose her, he just had to hold on until the medics got there…

"I don't know why…" she breathed, and Kakashi flinched as if she had hit him. He didn't want to answer, but he found himself doing so anyway, as if his body refused to let himself be a coward.

"Why what?"

"Why I took the h-hit. The metal was going to hit an old man, and I just…stepped in front of it. The man is pr-probably going to die s-soon anyway, from old age. He lived a long l-life…why did I find it necessary to sacrifice myself? I…" she managed to get out, and tears began to fall down her cheeks, making her unable to continue.

Kakashi felt his throat tightening at the words, and he let out a cry of frustration as he let his chakra flow stop completely. There was no hope, no hope no hope no hope–

The girl stared at him with her pale eyes of childish understanding, her tears forgotten for the moment. "I'm dying, aren't I?"

Kakashi nodded, unable to meet her eyes. She stared at the stars once more, and her eyes took in the lights as if their luminescence was the only thing keeping her rooted to life. Perhaps it was.

"The stars are so pretty tonight, don't you think?" she whispered, her voice suddenly clear and full of acceptance. He looked at her, and found that her tears will still steadily flowing, but her mouth was spread in a small smile. Her lips trembled, and Kakashi felt a wave of pride for this brave little girl who was forced to face death so early in her life. She was in the middle of a battle she had no chance of surviving, and even so, she did not pity herself. She was strong, to the very end.

Kakashi put a hand on her head, feeling her warmth and her fading life. "Yes...yes they are," he choked out, looking up at the bright winking balls of fire that lay so far beyond the world they knew.

"I'm glad. Watch them for me…"

Her voice trailed off, and Kakashi knew without looking that the girl had died. Kakashi didn't let his eyes waver from the starry sky.

The third time Kakashi was given authority - it was even worse because of the simple nature of the mission - he lost the woman he loved.

Rin was quiet in her position next to him, and Kakashi inwardly sighed at the flowering emotion that sprouted at her closeness. He wanted to hug her, to tell her how much he cared for her, but he knew that he never could.

Obito had loved her. Though Kakashi knew that Obito was gone and that he would want Rin to be happy, he was still hesitant. Rin was receptive to his affection, smiling at him often and always eager to heal his wounds. But the actions were so very different from their days as a chuunin team. This time, her feelings were less excessive and more straightforward, as were her words. It was this that Kakashi loved most about her.

They had been in ANBU for two years now, and Kakashi hated himself for the love that he felt for his teammate. It wasn't lust, instead an emotional tie that strengthened whenever Rin touched him, whenever she said his name. It was unlike anything Kakashi had ever felt before, and it terrified him.

Rin knew his quirks, his moods, when to speak and when to be silent. She knew when to hug him and when to punch him and tell him to snap the hell out of his sulking. She knew him, and he completely and utterly understood her.

They were on a mission – an easy mission that required a simple scan of the forests near the border – and Kakashi was the leader, the only other member of the team being Rin. The two were silent for the first hour or so, and then, on their way back to the village, they began chatting and teasing as they usually did. Kakashi felt so light and happy, so unlike he usually did, and it made him elated and scared shitless.

Rin smiled at him when he looked over at her, and the silver-haired jounin – he was nineteen at the time – quickly turned back to his water. Th two were resting, and their senses were down somewhat, seeing as they were so close to home that nothing could possibly be worth keeping an eye for.

Kakashi shuffled closer to the girl, and she looked at him inquisitively, her eyes shining as if she knew what the teenager was trying to do. Kakashi blinked rapidly, nervous and unsure. Rin peered up at him, and her smile was lilting and beautiful as she tucked a strand of her short brown hair behind an ear.

"Do I have something on my face, Kakashi?"

Her movement brought her lips close to his face, and a faint blush filled his cheeks at the proximity. She didn't move, and neither did he. The two remained there, and Kakashi finally said the hell with it. The teen yanked his mask down and kissed her.

It was sweet, and it was perfect.

Rin let out a sigh of bliss, reaching up to cup his cheeks, her lips slanting to kiss him more deeply. Kakashi's chakra sensors were dulled, focused on the amazing feeling of kissing the medic before him. The clean smell of her skin filled his nose, and he let his arm loop around her waist, pulling her closer.

Dimly, behind a haze of pleasure, Kakashi sensed something off about the air around them. What…?

There was a sickening thunk, and suddenly Rin went slack in his arms, her face falling away from his to flop onto his shoulder. There were two shinobi slowly making their way toward them, their eyes greedy and cruel. Robbers. Chuunin from various villages who were too lazy to become jounin, and too greedy to waste their skills as chuunin.

In a flash, they were dead, Kakashi having teleported behind them and sent a a sword through each of their hearts. His mouth was parted slightly – he had forgotten to replace his mask – and he waited for Rin to speak, to at least be horrified to how off guard they had allowed themselves to become. But there was nothing, no sound at all save the rustling leaves.

Kakashi turned, and after a few moments, he knew why Rin wasn't speaking...why she wasn't moving.

There was a kunai lodged into the back of her head.

She was dead.

Kakashi glanced over at the rest of the team, forcing himself to not dwell on the sadness. It would only do more harm than good, and Kakashi had enough on his plate without filling his mind with the numbing horrors of his past.

Sasuke was walking beside Sakura, who was supporting him slightly. The Uchiha wasn't speaking, but he seemed calmer, not as frenzied. Kakashi and Naruto had come upon Sasuke and Hinata, in a clearing, holding each other tightly. Kakashi knew at once that it wasn't romantic, but Naruto had been a little less insightful. The blonde had frowned, and Hinata, for once, didn't blush. Instead, she helped the Uchiha to his feet, and walked past the two Konohagakure shinobi without so much as a cough. There was a newfound understanding in her step, and Kakashi wondered what had transpired between the two.

Naruto was walking with Hinata, laughing and joking with her, pointing out birds and other animals he was familiar with. The girl was indulgent, smiling prettily and laughing with him. Naruto was uncharacteristically nervous, though he hid it almost completely under his usual blinding grin.

Kakashi felt a stab of pain as Naruto suddenly grabbed Hinata and swept her up so she was sitting on his shoulders. The girl squealed and stuttered as she held onto Naruto's hands for balance, and Naruto laughed at her unease, swaying and stumbling on purpose. Hinata tried to be angry, but after a few seconds relented, and her pealing laughter filled the air. Sakura laughed with them, and even Sasuke looked slightly less morose.

Kakashi wanted Naruto to be happy, but at the same time he was afraid of what the upcoming war would do to Naruto's naive ideas. The blonde still believed that he could protect everyone he cared about. He still couldn't comprehend losing any of his precious people, and Kakashi didn't have the heart to set him straight.

The jounin sighed, and blinked as a dark haired woman – Shizune, he corrected, as the smoke cleared – teleported in front of the group, and called to Sakura.

"It's Tsunade-sama…she's risen out of her coma!"

Sakura let out a gasp, her eyes filling with tears of relief. The teenage medic looked to Kakashi for permission, and he waved a hand to dismiss her. Sasuke nodded at her, and Sakura bolted through the construction, racing toward the medical area where the Hokage was situated. The rest of the group slowly dispersed, until the only ones left were the Inuzuka and her ninken – a large wolf the size of Akamaru – and she moved to walk beside Sasuke, the wolf padding along beside Kakashi.

The three shinobi followed Sakura at a leisurely pace, and Sasuke stumbled at one point, clutching his shoulder. The Inuzuka woman – she looked to be in her mid twenties – held him up without hesitation, and put his arm over her shoulder, assisting him despite his glares. Kakashi was surprised, seeing as most Inuzuka could care less about those not close to them.

The young woman had the feral look that all Inuzuka women had, with slightly elongated canine teeth and the clan stripes on her cheeks. Her hair – it was a dark reddish-auburn color – was long, tied in a thick braid that fell to her waist. Almond eyes stared straight ahead, and it was only when she glanced over at Kakashi that he noticed that they were a rich brown color.

Her voice was low and slightly raspy as she asked, "You got something to say, Hatake?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I don't think we've met…?"

"It's Ashi Inuzuka. This is my partner, Murasaki," the Inuzuka said brightly, nodding to the black wolf on Kakashi's right. The Uchiha and older jounin looked over, and the wolf grinned at them, speaking in a tenor voice that was obviously female. Kakashi was surprised that the wolf was speaking to them so soon after meeting; it usually took a good deal of familiarity for ninken to openly communicate.

"Yup, that's me. Hmm…" Murasaki sniffed at Kakashi's leg, and Kakashi was so used to his dogs doing to same thing that it didn't bother him in the slightest. "You smell like those dog summons…I haven't seen them in a while. Didn't you have your entire genin team wash them a few years back?"

Kakashi chuckled at the memory. "Yes, I did."

Murasaki barked a laugh. "I vaguely remember seeing this one," she glanced at Sasuke. "running through the Inuzuka compound garden, trying to catch that little pug…Pakkun, wasn't it?"

Sasuke bristled, too tired to do more than glare half-heartedly, and Ashi smirked, shifting slightly so that more of Sasuke's weight was placed upon her. Kakashi nodded, his eye crinkling as he fondly recalled the expressions of the three genin at the end of that particular mission. If looks could kill…

Ashi glanced up at the Hokage Monuments, her eyes happy but hiding a deep sadness. "I guess we'll have to rebuild that, too. It'll be okay, though, right? It'll get better…won't it?" she asked, and it seemed as though she was forcing the expression of hopeful expectation on her face. Sasuke didn't respond, and Kakashi sighed, staring up at the faces carved deeply into the face of the mountain.

"I wouldn't count on it."

Ashi nodded somberly, strangely accepting of his less than optimistic response, and the three walked the rest of the way in silence.

Madara stared into the room through the small window in the door, and watched as Aiko thrashed on her bed. The girl was screaming with all of her might, her hands gripping at her hair so tightly that the Uchiha was surprised that she didn't tear it out. Her legs curled under her, flinging her off of the bed. The bedside table crashed to the floor, but Aiko was beyond caring.

Suigetsu appeared at the door, and his eyes narrowed as he witnessed Aiko's actions. Madara did not move, instead just observing as Aiko continued to sob and yell in agony – agony that could only be mental, for there was nothing to harm her in the room.

"This happens every night, what are you going to do about it?" Suigetsu hissed, his purple eye

Madara did not respond, his crimson eyes flickering in the dim light of the hallway. The Uchiha nodded at the teen, signaling that Suigetsu should enter the room. Suigetsu did so with a growl, and knelt beside the girl. As he always did, the water nin gathered her in his arms, ignoring how she shrieked and kicked at him. The young man murmured under his breath, too softly for Madara to hear, and the girl cried into his shoulder, clutching at him in her state of unconsciousness. Her keening sobs echoed in the halls.

"Eenie meenie miney moe, catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers let him go…"

Madara watched as Suigetsu held her close, pulling her hands from her hair as he did so. She relaxed against him, and a flare of something flashed in Madara as he noted that it was only for Suigetsu that Aiko relaxed.

Perhaps it was the memory seal weakening…perhaps the girl had always had an inclination to insanity, and was finally cracking under the pressure. Either way, Madara was not worried. The war was nearly upon them, and Aiko wouldn't be needed for much longer. He would use her to lure Sasuke Uchiha to him, and then he would kill her, right before his eyes. It would drive him over the brink, and it would make him strong. It would give Madara a very entertaining battle, a very satisfying kill.

Only a few weeks more…and then Madara would finally have his revenge. He would have his power; he would have victory in the palm of his hand. The world would be under his control for all time, and it would be glorious.

The Uchiha gave Aiko one last glance, and then smiled, putting his hands together and letting the tug of his flicker technique whisk him into the blackness.