Boom!

I'm back everyone!

I haven't written in SO long. No joke. But, I've had midterms for 2 weeks straight! 2 weeks! My brain is fried, but we had a snow day today. :o)

This is also the twentieth chapter I've written for this story! It's hard to believe and I want to thank you guys for getting me this far.

This chapter felt good to write, because I missed you all so much! I got stuck halfway through it because I got mad at one of the characters. I think I'm going nuts...

On with the story!

Disclaimer: I only own my OC, Jade Diamond and this plot. I don't own Big Time Rush or anything familiar.

"Mom!" James Diamond nearly screeched as he gazed upon our mother. He sprinted over and gave her a long hug. I just stood with my arms folded over my chest in the band's dressing room.

"Miss Diamond!" Kendall spoke up, "It's great to see you," he got up from the leather couch he was sitting on and gave her a hug, followed by Carlos and then Logan.

"Oh how I've missed you boys!" she chuckled after she finished off hugging the raven-haired boy.

"Mom, what are you even doing here?" James asked curiously. I shot my mother daggers and crossed my fingers that she wouldn't spill that I might be leaving with her.

"I thought I'd just visit," she said.

Not a total lie...

"Well, isn't that nice?" Kendall said, coming over leaning up against the wall next to me.

I just nodded awkwardly without even looking over at my boyfriend. I remembered Jett, and how he was the one that helped Jo break Kendall's heart. She was a cheater and he still loved her? This only pissed me off more, but I still loved him too much.

The boys continued talking to mom about business in Europe. I occasionally rolled my eyes and played with the loose strands in my braid.

After several minutes, which seemed like hours after my mother arrived, Kendall leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Do you want to tell her about us?" his hot breath tickled the skin on my ear.

I shrugged, biting my lip. Trying to think in a room full of people was too hard. I miraculously mustered up the ability to process what might happen if we told her.

A: She might be sympathetic and let me stay in L.A. or

B: She'll tell me that I don't need a boyfriend and make us break up.

Option B sounded more realistic, and it was tough to think on my own. Knowing what I couldn't discuss with Kendall, I would need to make my own decision, as if there is any way to get around Brooke Diamond.

I was still furious with Kendall the more I thought about Jo. But, the more I thought about being separated from him, the more I wanted to break down and cry. Contradict myself, much?

"Jade?" a voice said. "Jade? You look like you're thinking too hard," Kendall whispered in my ear. "Are you still mad?"

Wrong question to ask a mildly emotionally unstable teenage-girl.

"Gee, I don't know, Kendall," I spat in a quiet tone. "Would you be mad if I loved Jett and you at the same time?" I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth.

I saw the corners of his mouth turn into a frown and a rush of irritation go through his chartreuse orbs. "Don't even bring Jett into this," he argued back with a swift roll of his eyes.

"Why not?" I taunted. "Last time I checked, Jo had nothing to do with us either," I motioned between him and myself.

He sighed. "Jade, I love you," he leaned over, whispering in my ear. "I just got confused,"

I glared at the blonde and said, "You need to understand that it hurts knowing that I'm not the only one you love,"

"I know, Jade," he had a pinch of annoyance in his voice. "I said I was sorry,"

I shut my mouth, feeling helpless and not wanting to argue any further. I just joined the group sitting on the couch and left Kendall standing against the wall.

I spent five minutes staring into space, trying to gather my feelings. Screw this situation.

"I'm going to see if I can get a coffee or something before the show," my mom spoke up. "Jade, do you want to come?"

"I'll pass," I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest.

She shrugged and put her expensive purse on her shoulder, making her way out of the dressing room.

"That's so nice that mom decided to come see us," James said in a happy and over-the-top voice. Usually, a genuine smile could work wonders for me, but I was unaffected.

"Yeah," I said slumping in my seat a little. "It's nice to know she cares," I said in a sarcastic manner, which no one picked up on.

"Do you know how long she's staying? James asked, running his black comb through his silky hair.

"I don't know," I mumbled. "She might be leaving a little while after the concert, then back to Europe,"

"Oh," his face dropped. "Well, let's make the most of it!" he stayed positive as usual. I wish I could be like him. I've always been just a little more pessimistic than him.

I rolled my eyes and checked my phone.

Logan: You okay?

I looked over at him and he gave me an apologetic look.

I'm fine. Don't worry.

I wanted him to believe me, because I didn't want all of this to be a big deal.

He got the message, looking over at me nodding with his lips pursed.

I stayed seated on the couch, trying to entertain myself by chipping my nail polish off.

The time went by, and the boys were called to go back stage.

I followed suit, having to show my pass to the stage managers so they knew I was supposed to be there.

The boys got their mics and ear-pieces in order.

I peaked out to the stage area, and the once-empty stadium was packed with girls holding signs expressing their love for the band.

I shook my head and closed the curtain. I had no idea how the guys could do this. It was crazy.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around to face Kendall. I breathed out and looked at his unhappy face.

"Kendall-" I started.

"Jade, let me talk," he interrupted. "Do you hate me?" he asked.

"No!" I answered quickly. "I'm just not as happy as I should be with you," I locked my eyes on the ground.

"I don't want to fight with you," he stated, lifting my chin up. "I want both of us to have a good time and not have to worry about a thing,"

I sighed and pursed my lips slightly. "You're right," I said. "I'm being paranoid," But am I being paranoid enough?

He kissed me on the forehead, his lips lingering for a few seconds. "That's my girl," he grinned, exposing his perfect dimples.

I couldn't help but smile back, placing my arms around his waist to hug him. "Good luck tonight,"

He pressed his body into mine, letting me take in his familiar scent of light cologne. We hugged without saying a word, feeling comfortable. I thought I was okay, but when I nuzzled my head deeper into the crook of his shoulder, I thought about what mom said about leaving again. I couldn't tell him yet. I hoped that I wouldn't have to, and that she'd just let me stay here. I hoped that if I did leave, he'd figure out that he didn't love that actress.

"Kendall, we need you with the boys," a guy with an earpiece tapped him on the shoulder.

We reluctantly pulled away and he gave me a small smile. "I love you,"

"I love you too," I said, still in a daze from all the thinking.

Then he went off, and minutes later he was on the stage. Loud and shrill screams were heard as the guys asked how the audience was doing. I stood so I could watch, and felt so proud of them.

"Oh Oh Ohhhh Ohhhhh,"

I watched James, Carlos, Logan, and Kendall sing and dance their hearts out. I never knew that any of them could dance like that, except for James. He would always 'shake his booty' around the house when we were younger.

Before I knew it, they were halfway through the set and they were taking a small break onstage to drink water and wipe away their sweat.

Carlos spoke up on his microphone, "Have you guys ever heard of a song called 'Worldwide'?"

That got everyone in the place screaming and jumping up and down.

"Awesome," Logan said. "Well, we're going to get a very special girl onstage to sing it to!" someone from the crew brought five stools and sat them in a line. I grinned, thinking of how cute it would be for a fan to be serenaded by them.

"She might be backstage, guys," Kendall said, shrugging and smiling.

I felt my face heat up because I was the only girl back here.

"Jade?" Kendall asked, his voice blaring through the speakers. "You might want to come out here," I could sense the smirk in his voice.

Everyone backstage stared at me, as I tried to hide behind the curtain.

"Aww! She's shy!" Carlos said. "C'mon guys, help get her out here!"

"Jade! Jade! Jade Jade!" everyone chanted my name.

The next thing I knew, I was being pulled by the hand by my big brother. "James! I can't go out there! Pick someone else!" I said stubbornly, hitting his shoulder.

He just laughed and brought be out, getting claps and 'woos' from everyone.

"This is Jade Diamond, everyone!" Logan said, giving his signature crooked smile to me. There were so many people in the crowd, so I tried to just focus on the boys. Cameras were flashing from all around, capturing the moment.

"Jade is my little sister," James said, pinching my cheeks and sitting in the stool next to me. Kendall sat on my left, adjusting his earpiece. The crowd 'aww'ed and I chuckled a little bit.

"Are you ready for this, Jade?" Kendall smirked into his mic.

I just rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Wait a minute, before you tell me anything

How was your day?

'Cause I've been missing

You by my side, yeah,

Did I awake you out of you dream?

I'm sorry but I couldn't sleep

You calm me down

There's something about the sound of your voice,"

James took my hand and sang to me. The song was so sweet, and as cliche as it seemed, I felt the love radiating to me on the stage.

"I'm never, never

As far away as it may seem, no

Soon we'll be together

We'll pick up right where we left off,"

I wished I would've listened to this during the time I was away from the guys. It probably would have made me too sad, but I think it would've helped me feel less lonely knowing that maybe they cared about me.

"Paris, London, Tokyo

It's just one thing that I gotta do

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone

Hello, tuck you in every night

And I can hardly take another goodbye

Babe, it won't be long

You're the one that I'm waiting on

Hello, tuck you in every night on the phone,"

Wow. This song was so relatable. If I ever had to leave them, all of them; I hope they'd call me all the time. I hope they'd be there waiting for me.

"Girl, I'll be thinking about you worldwide, worldwide, worldwide

Girl, I'll be thinking about you,"

Logan came up behind me and sang his part right to me. It was so hard not to smile. I felt special.

Then, Kendall had to lean over and kiss me on the cheek, singing to me. I had big time butterflies.

"Yes, I may meet a million pretty girls

That know my name

But don't you worry, no

'Cause you have my heart

It ain't easy to keep on moving city to city

Just get up and go

The show must go on

So I need you to be strong,"

The boys started waving their arms back and forth during the second chorus, and the crowd mimicked them. It was a sight to see that many people doing the same thing, swaying to the beat.

"Whoa, wherever the wind blows me

You're still the one and only girl on my mind

No, there ain't no one better

(Worldwide)

So always remember

(Worldwide)

Always remember, girl, you're mine,"

Things slowed down after another repetition of the chorus. Kendall took my hand and gave me an assuring smile that simply said 'I love you'. It was between us, and it caused my cheeks to heat up. His eyes bared into mine as he placed my hand on his heart, so I could feel the strong beat.

"'Cause you have my heart,"

The crowd cheered louder than ever when the song was over.

"Jade Diamond, everyone!" Kendall said into his microphone, pealing his eyes off of me.

I took a last look at the audience and turned on my heel to go back stage.

"They love you, you know that?" the comforting hand of my mother rested on my shoulder.

I faced her, "I know," I smiled in a cheesy way. "Do you see why I can't leave?" I asked her. "I'd miss them so much, mom,"

"Jade," she began. "I know how much you care about the boys, but this is non-negotiable. I can't have you being a burden to Mrs. Knight," She made this seem like one of her business deals or something...

"But, Mama Knight loves having me around!" I rebutted.

"Sure she does, honey," my mother cooed, like she didn't believe me at all. "But, you know how crowded it is with those four boys and Katie,"

"Mom! You don't understand," I strained. "They're my family," I said.

"I'm family too, Jade," her voice sharpened. "Don't you understand that maybe I might miss you too?"

"But you'd bring me with you and then you'd be too busy with business!"

"That's not true," she spat.

I frowned, and gave her an 'are you kidding me?' look. "Okay, maybe it is true," she said, holding her hands up in defense. "It's just not okay for you to stay at the Palm Woods anymore,"

"Can't I get my own apartment there?" I asked. "I can get a job, and maybe even go to college in California," I added.

"You've never worked a day in your life, Jade," she narrowed her eyes. "You can apply to a college in London if you want," she gazed at her French manicure and then back at me.

"What happens when you leave Europe. I'll be all alone and have no one," I said coolly. "I can't be so far away for so long; I can't just be stuck there!"

"Why are you being so difficult?" she said crossly. "You're a spoiled brat and you're trying to make me feel sorry for you,"

"Bu-"

"Don't speak," she added savagely. "You should know better than to argue with me," she rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest.

I decided to shut up, even though I was usually the one that had to get the last word in. I've never had an argument with her like this. I knew I couldn't win, but I felt like I had to try.

We stood backstage, me leaning up against the wall and her sitting on a stool filing her nails. We both acted indifferent, pretending that the other wasn't there.

The show ended and I never said a word to her. The vixen congratulated her son and his friends on a concert well done. I didn't say a word. I didn't exchange a glance.

"Hey, are you okay?" a my boyfriend asked me, being the first one to notice I was acting weird.

"I don't want to talk about it," I replied weakly. "Let's just get back to the Palm Woods," my voice sounded broken.

He wrapped an arm around my fragile figure and walked me out to the boys' car. I sat in the front and pressed the side of my face against the cool glass.

The boys made it to the car and asked me what was wrong.

I shook them off and choked back my whimpering, focusing on the crowded freeway in front of me.

I'd probably have to pack up tonight and be gone for good. Maybe I'd ask the shrew I called 'mother' if I could stay one more night. I could lay with my head on Kendall's chest and take in the last of his warmth that I'd be missing soon enough.

It'd be like a death wish. She'd have to honor that, right?

Ahh! The end killed me to write. I feel so emotional right now. Haha, I am going nuts.

The next chapter will be up sometime before Monday is over!

I'm anxious to know what all of you think! :o)

Thanks for reading!

Review!

Xoxo,

RoxyBelle