Your name is Dave Strider, your are thirty-one years old, and man, this kid talks a lot.

Not that you're complaining - you're pretty damn pleased that she's babbling away happily and hitting at your arm with her tiny hands instead of well… doing what she ought to be doing, which is being horribly angry at you for what's going on. Or crying, or shit, you don't know - something that reflects the turmoil her family is going through lately (because of you). But here she is, just telling you all about her little friends down the street and how she just got done pretending to be a crocodile in their pretend games. You suppose she hasn't really processed what's going on quite yet, or if she really will until she's much older. You're not sure you want to think about how that opinion may shift as she ages.

It was odd really - you still don't know what the hell is going on with this whole situation. You don't want to pester John about it because it's obvious he's still taking a truckload of devastation from it, but you still don't even know how much of this really involves you. When you picked the kid up her mother, Molly, looked at you with sad, tired eyes and pushed Casey forward (who was more than happy to barrel into your legs and glom onto them). "Any reason you're here and not John?" she asked - not bitter, just curious and a little sad.

"He's got a lot more to be doing than me," you had shrugged - though it was your choice to come instead, you weren't about to let John immediately face such a major thing (the guilt seemed to be killing him slowly). You figured it'd probably be best for Casey to hold off a bit too, what with how she never shut up about her mommy, but there wasn't much anyone could do about that, because she's also part of what's gonna keep him going. You wanted to lessen that hit as much as possible.

But regardless here you are, unloading a still babbling four-year-old out of her carseat and into one of your arms, the other carrying her Hot Wheels-themed suitcase. You still don't get why a traveling bag needs to be racecar themed, those are just toys, but you find it kind of really fucking funny.

Walking into the house, with a decree of "Honey, I'm home" (just how ironic are you still being? When does it just become plastic and hopeful?) before setting down Case, letting her run full-speed to her "Daddy" as she keeps squealing that name over and over. You decide at that point to simply take it upon yourself to put the bag away into her new room.

While unpacking things for Casey (you know that the damn girl will never do any of it herself except toss it everywhere, a lot like you were as a kid, so you figure you should just go ahead and do it and take the task off of John's shoulders) you take your phone out of your pocket and notice it's flashing at you, the usual pesterchum client blinking rapidly.

— tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 09:47 —

TT: I realize you're likely busy, so simply respond whenever it is that you find the time to do so.

TG: hey sup

TT: There you are. Do you have your daughter all properly unloaded?

TG: yeah but how do you

TG: wait what the fuck she aint my kid

TT: Legally and biologically speaking, I'm sure she would have no complaints at me addressing her that way.

TT: At least that's what she had to say when I stopped by for the holidays this past Christmas season.

TG: anyway how did you

TG: wait what the fuck she said that

TT: I am beginning to notice a bit of a pattern here, wouldn't you say?

TG: pattern schmattern i think all of us here know how very much i care about that

TG: for those of you keeping track at home thats zip zero nada

TT: Thank you for enlightening me.

TG: youre welcome dont want you falling behind on me

TT: I would have been simply devestated.

TG: i know i hear that a lot i go too fast im a lean mean talking machine spilling words rhymes and reason all over the place

TG: anyway she said that

TT: I thought you were inquiring "how do I"?

TG: i was gonna ask how you knew i was picking her up but i figure thats because of john or something

TG: now that that entirely irrelevant subject has been thoroughly danced upon lets try again

TG: did she actually say that

TT: In her own terms, yes.

TT: As we know this was prior to the issues that have since begun to plague the oh-so-charming Egberts, but she said she wouldn't mind having "Davey" as a "second daddy".

TT: Both of her parental units about lost their lungs with their already-lost wits at such a testimony. Though John I assume was with his latest concerns on the matter.

TG: whats even going on with that anyway

TG: dude hasnt said jackshit to me about it

TG: i mean other than him still liking me but we havent addressed that since fucking december

TT: Oh dear. I suppose he intends to talk to you about it in due time?

TG: id say so but now weve got john jr with us and whens he gonna find some opportune window with that

TG: oh hey dave lets talk about why i left my wife and how it may or may not have to do with me wanting to make out with you

TG: oh wait hey there kiddo didnt see ya there sorry guess now you know what ruined your childhood and whole family life sure fuckin sucks doesnt it

TT: You don't honestly think this will ruin her childhood, do you?

TG: thats kind of what divorces do dont they

TT: Yes and no. We all had single, or none in Jade's case, parents as children, didn't we?

TG: yeah and look at you and me

TG: couple of alcoholics with no love life and a fucked up position on life in general

TT: I credit that more so to our childhood's immediate and constant facefull of death and tragedy, not to mention your sexual trauma and my less-than-dutiful mother.

TT: But that's not what we are discussing here.

TT: I think she will be fine. Both her parents seem to be handling it as gracefully as possible, and she's not losing a figure as even Molly seems the type to hope for equal custody, what with John in such a close vicinity of her home.

TT: If anything she'd simply be gaining a new figure.

TG: i guess

TG: i still dont even know what the hells going on

TT: Casey has an early bedtime, doesn't she?

TG: yeah so

TT: Seems a perfect time for the two of you to talk.

TG: good point

TG: we talk about me all the time whats even up with that

TT: You always talk about yourself, you love that.

TG: hey shut the fuck up not my fault im awesome

TG: but no i mean like about serious shit

TT: Oh yeah you do detest that.

TG: why not ever about you

TT: Because you don't care beyond a healthy friendly amount, I just also happen to be fascinated.

TG: good point

TT: As well as I'm a lot better at working things out myself. You require someone to bounce off of.

TG: hey youre not as well off as you think even i can

TG: oh case wants to play dolls great

TG: g2g see ya

— turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:21 —