A/N Heyy, thanks for reading this fan-fic, I'm not completly sure how long it will be, guess I'll just have to see how it goes. Please review, good or bad - it'll be appreciated. Thank-you, em, not sure how to end this - enjoy? :)

Jasmine P.O.V:

"Jas - over here, table". Marcus put his hand on my sholder and ushered me over to table number 4, where judging by the stack of plates in comparison to the small size of the table, some-one very over-weight had previously been sitting.

"You know I pay you to work not chat to your friends", he scolded.

"I know, I'm sorry". I apologised quickly, hoping he'd go away soon - he was slightly intimidating and had a tendency to spit all over you whenever he talked. He made some kind of grunting noise and walked back to behind the counter. I glanced over at my friends, Kayleigh trying incredibly hard not to laugh as I wiped my face. I'm sure it was funny for them. They'd never had to work a day in their lives and probably never would. Back in England I'd been considered rich because my Dad was a retired footballer and my parents owned a pub. Here in California it was a completly different story. My boyfriend Mark in particular found it hillarious how people back in Chester thought I was wealthy. Then again they also thought I was still living as a boy, so they didn't exactly know much. But I left out that part to Mark, along any-one else that knew me here. I was Jasmine Costello. End of.

"That's hardly appropriate talk", I heard Marcus practicly yell. I immideatly felt sorry for whoever he was adressing - they must be drenched.

"You know what? Just get out!" They had clearly annoyed him. I turned to see who it was, I could only see the back of her - a girl with long straight blonde hair.

"Fine. We were after some food not a shower anyway". I recognized the Liverpool accent coming from a brunette standing next to her. As she turned around I hoped to a God I wasn't even sure I believed in that I was being paranoid, that it wasn't who I thought it was. She turned around fully as they all walked towards the exit of the resteraunt. Shit. I froze on the spot, my whole body shaking. Please don't notice me. Please don't let Sinead notice me. I didn't know why she was here, but it was definatly her. Luckily she was with Maddie and Tilly, who'd only known me as Jason, but Sinead knew what I looked like as Jasmine all too well. Crap. Crap crap crap. Maddie was walking towards me.

"I'd quit if I were you", she told me. "The guys a nut job".

"What, just like your boyfriend?" Sinead joked, walking over to us.

"Shut up alright, Callum's a great guy", Maddie laughed. Wait, Callum? The guy who, when I left college hadn't even said a word all year. With Maddie, one of the loudest people in the Hollyoaks Sixth Form? I was distrupted from my thoughts about Maddie and Callum as Sinead arrived at her side. From her shaken expression, she knew exactly who I was, slowly putting her hand to her mouth, her eyes starting to water up slightly.

"Jason?" Her voice quavered.

"Jasmine". I was almost whispering. Maddie looked momentarily confused, but appeared to catch on fairly quickly. She turned to Sinead.

"Shall I give you a minute?"

Sinead nodded. Maddie gave her a quick smile and breifly placed her hand on Sinead's sholder before walking over to Tilly, taking her arm and walking out.

"Let's get out of here". It seemed like more of an order than a request but I really couldn't leave work, not with Marcus in this mood.

"I'm working".

"This is more important. Don't you think I deserve an explanation? Come on".

Sinead didn't normally talk in such short sentances, she was one of those people that could easily talk forever. I could tell she was chosing her words carefully, something she didn't do often. Seeing her pleading expression, I obliged, starting to walk out. Neither of us said anything until we'd left and I'd led her to a bench over-looking my favourite beach.

"It's gorgeous here. No wonder you moved".

"You get used to it. And I didn't exactly move for the view".

"No".

We were avoiding the subject - but sooner or later it had to be brought up.

"We need to talk".

Sinead turned towards me.

"Yeah, we do", she agreed.

I took a deep breath.

"I didn't mean for you to find out".

"About being Jasmine?"

"No. I didn't want anyone from home to know. Especially not you or ...". I trailed off mid-sentance.

"How long have you been like this? A girl?"

"I've been a girl ever since I was born, Sinead". She nodded. "But I know what you mean. And about six months".

"So you didn't know when you left then? That you wanted to be a Jasmine?"

"No". I really wanted to just leave it there, but like she said, I owed her an explanation.

"It was only really since I moved here. When my treatment started to get serious". I paused, and turned to face her directly - I'd been avoiding looking at her since we sat down but this bit was important, and I needed her to know I meant it.

"I meant it all, you know. About wanting to be a boy. Needing to be". I shook my head. "I never would have put every-one through all that pain on a whim". We both knew exactly who I was talking about when I said every-one. Even though neither of us had dared bring up his name yet. She nodded, tears forming in her eyes once more.

"I know", I could barely hear her voice, it was so quiet. "I know you'd never want to hurt him". She sighed, running her hand through her hair. "Do you still love him?"

"Sinead..."

"Yes or no?"

"He's with you now. I don't want to ruin things for you. Honest to God, I don't. I can't cause him any more pain and confusion, and believe it or not I don't want to hurt you either. I meant what I said before I left - that I'm sorry, and we're friends".

"So that's a yes then?" She shook her head. "Bart loves you, Jasmine. He tries to hide it but ... as Jason he could just about manage it, he still talks about you though. Him. I sometimes wonder if he loved Jason too. But Jasmine ... you can't even mention the name around him". She wiped a tear off her cheek fiercly. "He loves me. I know he does". She looked up, taking a breath before turning back to me. "But I can never compare to Jasmine. No-one can. I could live with it, Jasmine didn't exist, but now you do ... he should know. You need to tell him". I noticed she was talking about me mostly in third person, clearly confused. I didn't blame her.

"You're happy with him. You love him. I don't want to break you up again". That was only partly true. The thought of Bart being with Sinead killed me inside, and as much as I felt sorry for her and didn't want to hurt her, my love for Bart was much stronger than our friendship, and I knew that if he was to appear right now and tell me he loved me too, Sinead would vanish completly from my mind.

"Two summers ago, in the woods - yeah, you broke us up. You came barging in where you weren't needed and spoilt everything. But it wasn't just then. It was the whole time me and Bart had been going out until that point. You just would not let it go". She sighed. I felt a slight pang of guilt as I remembered all the times I'd tried to come between them, all the snide remarks I'd made. "I don't really blame you. I probably would have done the same. But your not trying to break us up this time. Even when you went back to Jasmine - you must've known Bart would want you then - you stayed away. It's not your fault. You didn't force him to love you. You tried so hard to make him let go. But he can't. Believe me I've tried". She was properly crying now. I didn't know what to do - part of me wanted to hug and comfort her but I was the one causing the hurt in the first place. For the countless time, I'd brought Sinead O'Connor to tears.

She fumbled about in her shorts pocket and handed me a phone.

"Call him", she said, standing up.

"What?"

"Call him. Tell him your back as Jasmine".

"Why would you want me to do that? I thought you loved him?"

She nodded.

"I'm doing it because I love him. So he can be happy. The happiest he could be. He can laugh and joke all he wants but deep down, the only thing than can make him properly happy is Jasmine bloody Costello. "

"You know he might not even want me".

"Yeah right. As much as I want him to tell you I'm the only girl for him - he won't. I know it. Go on, call him".

I stared at the phone for a while before clicking onto contacts and scrolling down to Bart's number. She'd named him as "Bart XXX". Even when we were dating, me as Jasmine, I'd had him saved as a simple "Bart Mob". Sinead was far more girly than I was, even now that for some reason my need to be a boy had decreased greatly, enough for me to finally feel comfortable in my own body, I still had the same personality I always had done. I was a tomboy and happy hanging around with the lads, wearing loose-fitting clothes. Not Bart's type at all - it was still a mystery why he'd fallen for me in the first place. Sinead was exactly what he'd been looking for. Ballsy but also feminine, she liked to strut around in ridiculously heighted heels but wasn't as high maintence as the likes of Maddie Morrison. She didn't expect too much from him but was sure to put him in his place when he was out of line, and the aspect that tipped it over the edge for me - she loved him. As far as I knew she'd never hurt him or broken his heart. That had been his job.

I knew exactly what it felt like to be screwed around by Bart McQueen. Deep down he meant well, but didn't always know how to go about it. I'd lost track of the ammount of times that, as Jason, he'd promise me everything, express his undying love for me, only to shut me out of his life the moment the outside world threatened to find out. The times he'd tell me how much he missed and loved me only for me to discover it was actually Jasmine he had been referring to, not Jason. Not even both. It had torn me apart. As much as I'd hated her at the time, it had had the exact same effect on Sinead.

She still lived in Hollyoaks, had the same friends, went to the same college. I was living out here in California with Dad, my new American friends and boyfriend. Okay so I was by no means in love with Mark. For a start his name reminded me of my grotesque boss, his personality was slightly on the dry side and his nose was constantly up in the air, metaphoricly at least. I only really started dating him to try and take my mind of Bart. And unlike him with Sinead, the rebound had most definatly had not lead to love. But he was some-one. Who did Sinead have if she lost Bart? She'd already sacrificed her friends Ruby and Esther to be with him, and although she was clearly still on good terms with Tilly and Maddie, they'd been Bart's friends since they were little. She couldn't hang around with them and not him. And after breaking up, being only friends is painful. I should know.

And the thought of going back to Hollyoaks, Bart aside - everyone judging and laughing at me, the girl who wanted to be a boy and then changed her mind? I liked it out here - once I'd decided being Jason was no longer for me, Dad and I had moved to a different part of the state where I could start a-fresh again, as Jasmine. Hollyoaks village and my home above The Dog In The Pond had faded into nothing but a distant memory that I tried hard to pretend had been a dream. I dreaded going back so much that my brothers Seth and Riley had to come out here to visit me. Not that they'd seen me as Jasmine again yet. I looked out at the sea, the sun shining down on it, the rays of light causing the waves to shimmer and sparkle as they frothed at the edges and lapped onto the soft golden sand. After a few more moments of thought, I knew what I was going to do. Slowly, I handed the phone back over to Sinead.

"You call him", I told her. "Tell him you've been missing him, you love him, and you can't wait to see him when you get back".

Sinead's expression was unreadable as she struggled to disgest what I'd just said. Eventually she put the phone back in her pocket.

"Thank you". She smiled at me, but not fully, obviously still thrown by the whole situation.

"You know, I'm going to be out here for a few more days", she continued. "Girl's week away. The lads have jetted off to Jonno's uncle's place in Greece. It'd be good to catch up some time".

I nodded. As much as my actions of just now had pained me, thinking of how I'd let Bart go once and for all to Sinead, without even his realization, any information about him I could learn from Sinead would be a relief. I still thought about him, worried how he was getting on. There was always some kind of family drama going on with the McQueen's. But I also wanted to hear about Sinead. We'd been through so much together, both knew exactly what it was like to be broken down by Bart, gone through the exact same thing in different ways. In a weird way it had formed a bond between us. I nodded.

"Okay".

"I'll text you some time".

"I changed my number". I reached for my phone, scrolled down to "Own Number" on my contacts list, and read the didgits out to her as she tapped them into her own mobile.

"I'll see you soon then", she smiled, still only a half smile, as she turned to walk away.

"Yeah".

She turned around to face me once more.

"You know I really mean it - thank you. I'm so grateful for what you did, said, just now. I know how much it must hurt. Just - just thanks, okay?"

I nodded. Nothing else needed to be said. She returned the nod and carried on walking, while I leaned back on the bench looking out to sea again. I liked looking out at the sea, it had been my main coping mechanism this past year. It was the same with the stars or the sky - the feeling that it's never ending and that some-where, halfway across the world, Bart McQueen might just be looking at the same view.