Helping Others

"Bells," I heard Jacob's husky voice call to me from the trees. "Oh Bells, I found you."

I could see him emerge from the forest now, clad only in a pair of black cut-off shorts. He cleared the rest of the distance between us in the amount of time it took me to return to a fully upright position. "I'm right here Jake."

He grabbed me in one of his bone crushing hugs that, when I was being honest with myself, I loved. "She got away from us Bella," he choked out. "I was so worried that she would find you before we did."

We turned to head back to Billy's house, Jacob's massive arm still around my shoulders.

"Sam," Jacob yelled just before I saw the elder wolf in man form appear in between the trees, "I found her. You can go to the hospital if you want."

"Hospital?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

Jacob squeezed my shoulder a little tighter. "Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. It doesn't sound like he's going to make it."

"Oh no," I said, suddenly extremely glad that I had not decided to go cliff diving on my own. Jacob would have taken a lot longer to find me, and he would probably have been angry if I had gone without him. "Does Charlie know?"

"Emily told me when we got back that he and Billy are there with Sue and the kids," Sam said. "Jacob, why don't you go home and get some rest. You look dead on your feet. I'll have Paul and Embry stick around too, just in case. Jared can come to the hospital with us."

Jacob nodded in agreement having received his orders.

"Bella," Sam said as we neared the corner where we would go their separate ways. "You can come with Emily and me to the hospital since Charlie is already there, or you can stay here with Jacob. I believe we can keep you safe at either place."

I appreciated the fact that he thought enough of me to give me a choice. I debated for a moment. "I really don't know Harry, and I don't want to intrude. Will you tell Charlie where I am, and that I'll just stay with Jake until I hear from him."

Jacob plopped onto the couch the minute we walked in the door. "Have a seat Bells," he said patting the sofa beside him.

I sat next to him, and he threw his arm over my shoulders as usual. I rested my head against his warm body. Within a minute, Jacob's breathing became slow and deep and his arm relaxed. I stayed there enjoying the closeness of my friend. I knew that he wanted more from me than just the friendship that we currently shared; he had made that clear. He always said that he didn't mind that I didn't feel the same, but how did I feel about Jake? I let out a sigh and decided to put that particular question on the back burner for a while.

I braced myself. If I was going to stop chasing my pathetic hallucinations and try to get on with the remainder of my life, I was going to have to be able to handle thinking of him, or hearing his name, or seeing somewhere that we had been together. I could do this…"Edward," I said in a whisper so as not to disturb Jacob. The hole in my chest ached at the seams. I may have been kidding myself, but it didn't feel like it hurt quite as much as before I had had my epiphany. It could have been because Jacob was right next to me. Nothing ever hurt as badly with him there.

I resolved to test myself a little further. I picked out a rather bland Edward memory to dwell on for a while. I thought about the times that we would study together at my kitchen table. I thought about the books we had discussed and the essays we critiqued for each other. His never needed much improvement, but every now and then, I would come up with a good suggestion. The pain in my chest didn't worsen as I thought about him, to my surprise, it eased just a little. I remembered the way that Edward would always find an excuse to leave right before Charlie and I were ready to sit down to dinner. Charlie had asked me once or twice why Edward never stayed, but I effectively changed the subject. It wasn't an important enough issue for him to press.

My stomach let out a low rumble with the thought of food. I knew that Jacob would be starving when he woke up too. He could have eaten a five course meal just before relaxing for his nap and still be starving when he woke up. Billy and Charlie would probably be hungry when they returned from the hospital, so I decided to make myself useful while Jake got his much needed rest.

I eased myself out from under his arm. I slowly and gently placed it in his lap. He twitched a little, but his snoring picked back up almost immediately. I went to the kitchen to see what I could rustle up. In the freezer I found a bag of peas and a venison roast. In the refrigerator crisper, I found some carrots. They looked like their prime had passed about two weeks ago, but I imagined if I peeled them really thick, I could still make use of them. My search through the cupboards produced some stewed tomatoes and a can of green beans. The last cupboard sealed my decision, a half bag of potatoes. I was pretty sure I could make a decent stew out of my findings. I had once read on-line to cook venison with butter, since it didn't have as much fat as beef. I ran hot water in a pan, placed the frozen roast in and a stick of butter from the fridge. I turned the burner on high and searched for spices. I found the salt and pepper and some beef bouillon cubes to season the broth. I put a lid on the pot to hold as much heat in as possible on the frozen meat.

I washed the sad looking carrots and found a cutting board, knife and peeler. I sat down at the kitchen table and started in. They really weren't as bad as I had originally thought; they still had some crunch to them and the flavor was good. I peeled and pared and sorted. Occasionally my mind wandered to the danger of Victoria lurking close by, but I reminded myself that the others would have called for Jacob if there were problems. I made myself believe that if they didn't feel the need to wake him, then everything must be O.K.

I glanced at Jacob still sleeping peacefully. His arm was in the exact same position that I had placed it in when I stood up. Judging by the fact that all of the clatter that I was making only a few yards away from him wasn't making him stir in the slightest, he was going to be out for a while. I went on another recon mission through the kitchen and found a full canister of flour in the cupboard and eggs and several packages of yeast in the refrigerator. I could throw together some dinner rolls too. Biscuits would go better with the stew, but I wasn't sure if I could make those without a cookbook, one thing that I had not found. I had made dinner rolls enough times in my life that I was sure I could do those from memory.

I concentrated hard on my work, taking pleasure in the tasks and in the fact that I could do this little bit to repay all of the kindness that Jacob and Billy, and Charlie for that matter, had given to me over the past couple of months. I cut the meat into chunks when it was ready and added the vegetables to the broth. I peeled and cut the potatoes into similar size pieces as the roast in between kneading the dough and placing the rolls in the oven. I stirred and cooked and tasted and spiced some more until it was as good as I thought I could get it. I whisked some corn starch in cold water and had it ready to add to the stew for thickener. I cleaned every surface of the kitchen that I had dirtied while working and cleaned other surfaces so they would match. I washed the dishes that I had used to mix and slice along with the ones that remained in the sink from the Black's previous meal.

I was surprised when the phone rang and I realized that I had been working in the tiny kitchen for over three hours. I dashed to get it, so Jake wouldn't have to wake up.

"Hello," I said quietly.

"Bells," said Charlie in a shaky voice. "He's gone Bells. Harry didn't make it."

"Oh Dad! I'm so sorry."

"We're just going to get something to eat and then we'll be back there. You can wait for me or you can head on…"

I didn't let him finish. "Dad, Jacob's been sleeping. I knew everyone would be hungry, so I made stew and dinner rolls." I looked around the kitchen, taking in the sight of the huge pot simmering on the stove. "I kinda got carried away; I've probably got enough here to feed the whole reservation. We might want to replenish the Black's grocery supply actually," I added as an afterthought.

Charlie chuckled at my observation despite what he was experiencing on the other end of the line. "We'll do that, Bells." He started to say good bye but stopped himself mid sentence. "Hey Bells, do you think you and Jake could take the stuff you made over to the Clearwater's? Emily said she had a casserole in the slow cooker she could bring over; I can catch her before they leave and tell her to bring it if we're going there instead of the diner."

"That shouldn't be a problem," I assured him. "Jake's been asleep for hours, he won't mind if I wake him. He'll want to know the bad news anyway."

"Thanks Bella," Charlie said. "See ya in a little while."

I clicked the phone down on the receiver.

"Bad news?" said Jacob's sleepy voice.

I jumped and turned to find him standing just a few feet behind me. "You scared me Jake."

"Harry didn't make it, did he?"

"No."

Jacob stood in the doorway and stared at the far wall. A single tear rolled down his russet cheek. "I've known him all my life."

I ran the few steps to him and threw my arms around his waist, trying to ease what misery I could for him. I knew that I couldn't take it away, but if my effect on Jacob was similar to what his was on me, I knew my proximity would help. He encircled my shoulders to complete our embrace. We stood holding each other until the timer buzzed, and I had to pull away to get the last batch of rolls from the oven.

"Bells, what have you been up to?" Jacob asked taking in the sights and smells of the kitchen.

"I knew everyone would be hungry, so I threw some stuff together," I told him as I glazed the hot rolls with butter.

"You found all of this stuff in THIS kitchen?" he asked, obviously amazed.

Jacob carried the stew carefully to my truck and set it on the floor of the passenger side and then trotted around to climb in the driver's seat. We had determined it would be much easier for me to ride with the pot between my feet than Jacob. I had placed the warm rolls in the largest mixing bowls I could find and threw a couple kitchen towels over them to hold in the heat, minus, of course, the three Jacob had eaten while I was working. I held them in place on the seat between us.

"Oh, I had better tell you something so you don't say anything in there you shouldn't," Jacob said as we pulled up to the Clearwater's house. He parked my truck and turned to look at me. "You know Sam and Emily, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Well, Sam used to date Leah Clearwater. It's a long complicated Wolf Thing story. I'll tell you sometime, but the short version is Sam left Leah for Emily. And, to make matters even worse, Emily and Leah were real close."

"Oh," I said not sure how else to respond. My opinion of Sam had risen since finding out many of the details of the whole werewolf thing, but it quickly began to backslide. "So, just don't bring up Sam and Emily when I meet Leah?" I asked to clarify his reason for telling me.

"You're quick!" he said ruffling my hair.

News traveled fast on the reservation. It seemed that everyone showed up at the Clearwater's at some point during the evening to pay their respects. Emily had brought the casserole and a chocolate cake she had made earlier in the day. Embry's mother brought a relish tray. Charlie and Billy had stopped on the way and bought a variety of drinks, and several other people arrived with odds and ends to add to the buffet. The Clearwater's may be grieving but they would be well fed during the process.

I met Leah Clearwater for the first time. She wasn't a particularly pleasant person, but in all fairness, it was not exactly the most opportune time to judge her character. I noticed that she was very attentive to her mother, who seemed to be in a state of shock, which made me think that she was a kind soul underneath her gruff exterior. Her brother, Seth, seemed like a sweet kid.

Jacob was busy mingling and offering condolences as was Charlie, so I made myself useful and set to work cleaning the small kitchen from the mess that the impromptu supper had made. I thought about Leah as I worked. Here was a girl, or woman, only a couple of years older than me who had had her heart broken much like me. Actually, I had to admit that her heartache was probably worse, especially tonight. Sam and Emily were in her home, sharing the food that was brought here to grieve the loss of her father. I realized I could learn a lot from Leah and made a mental note to contact her after the madness of the funeral was past.

I was soon joined by several other woman, and we cleaned and straightened and made small talk in the kitchen. They all complimented me on the stew and I politely thanked them. It felt oddly good to fuss over someone else for a change. Not that I was glad that the Clearwater's had to endure the loss of Harry, but I had been caught up in my own problems so much lately, I had lost sight of the fact that I was not the only one who had them.

I found Charlie and Jacob talking with Sue Clearwater about funeral arrangements. I waited until I could respectfully break into the conversation. "Dad, I think I'll head home. I'm pretty tired." I gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you so much for all that you've done for us tonight, Bella," Sue said as she reached to hug me too.

"Jacob, do you mind coming with me? I have your dishes all clean. I was hoping you could help me take them back to your place." I really wanted to know if Jake's pack had heard or seen any more signs of Victoria. I hoped beyond hope that Victoria would not make another appearance until after the funeral.

"Yeah, sure," Jacob said excusing himself from the conversation. "I was just heading home myself anyway."

Jacob and I gathered everything and walked silently to my truck. I climbed in the driver's seat and he held the dishes stacked in his lap.

"Thanks for doing all this tonight, Bells," he finally said as I pulled into his driveway. He reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"I'm glad I could help," I said. I put the truck in park and sighed.

Jacob shifted over toward me and pulled me close to him, balancing the dishes with his right hand. He kissed the top of my head.

I leaned toward him and simply enjoyed the contact.

"No one has seen any signs of her since we chased her off this afternoon. Embry is already at your house. He got word to Sam that it's all clear. I'm going to get some more rest and then take over for him at your place in a few hours," Jacob told me without my asking. He turned to face me and tilted my chin up so I could see in his dark eyes. "And I am right here for you… for whatever you need."

"I know," I whispered. "That's what keeps me going." We sat in silence the only sound in the cab of my truck was the steady sounds of our breathing.

He climbed out of the truck, balancing the stack securely in his arms. "Do you need some help with those?" I asked.

"Na," he said with his sly grin, "I'm probably better off getting them myself."

"Hey," I shot back, "I managed to cook all that stuff without breaking a single thing!"

I heard him laugh as he kicked the door shut and sauntered toward his house.

By the time I climbed into my bed, it was well past midnight. It had been a long day. I glanced at my window, thankful for the wolf that was circling in the darkness. I heard Charlie come in and stagger up the stairs to bed, and I was thankful he was here too. I replayed the evening in my head and a strange realization hit me; I had not thought of Edward since I had forced myself to do so while sitting on Jake's sofa. And I drifted off to sleep with only a hint of pain in my chest.