A/N Sorry for two uploads in one day but this was all origionally written as one chapter, when I uploaded it to the Doc Manager and saw how long it was I decided to spread it out more so there wasn't one randomly long chapter. And btw the flash-back is actually what happened in Hollyoaks, I paused it and wrote it out so yeah, *disclamier* or whatever you're supposed to do, for the flashback.

Bart's P.O.V

My head was spinning out of control, my whole world feeling as if it was on the verge of falling apart once again. I didn't know what to think any-more, but one thing was for sure - I needed to find Jasmine. Now.

Taking the pills with me in their container, I stormed out of class and made my way to the maths department, my feet moving on auto-pilot. I reached her classroom a lot quicker than I'd expected to due to my quick movement, and looked in through the small window from the corridor to the classroom. Jas was sat at one of the desks with her head down, writing. She had her free hand to her head, holding her hair away from flopping to the front of her face as her head was slanted downwards, her expression full of concentration. She looked gorgeous.

I couldn't bring myself to go in and confront her just yet - I was terrified of the outcome. Leaning back against the corridor wall, I was reminded of the 28th October 2010, lying in hospital after Fern had stabbed me, Jasmine knocking at the door to my hospital room. The day my life changed forever. The memory played over and over in my mind like a broken record.

I looked up as I heard the knock and looked through the small window in the door. My beautiful girlfriend Jasmine was stood outside, looking in, smiling sadly when she saw me. About thirty seconds previously I'd been in indescribable pain, however the sight of her pushed that to the back of my mind. Shit. I had to stop thinking about her as my girlfriend - she'd broken up with me the night before, after the second time she'd ran out as we tried to have sex. "What's up with you? You're not normal", I said to her. I'd seen her at Anita's earlier, she'd been crying, I'd tried to apologise but she wasn't having it. But she was here now - proof that in spite of everything, when it came down to it she still cared about me and, hopefully, wanted to be with me. I smiled at her, letting her know I wanted her to come in. She didn't say anything as she opened the door, just walked straight over and hugged me tight, yesterday's break-up seemed to be forgotten.

"Ahh!" My outburst came out as more of a whisper, the pain flooding back as she hugged me right where I'd been stabbed.

"Sorry".

The pain was now worse than it had been before now, but I didn't want her to know that.

"Ah it's alright". I'd been trying to sound reassuring but was pretty sure I'd failed.

"I'm so glad you're alright", she told me, smiling, sitting down beside me and holding my arm.

"Fern beat you to it".

"What?"

I sat up in the bed, slowly.

"She was my first visitor".

Jas looked concerned.

"Oh, did she say anything about me?" I was confused by this - I'd just been stabbed. Why was Jas more concerned about what she may have said behind her back than what she'd said to me?

"Why would she?"

"With me not being here". She smiled as she spoke and the pain seemed to somehow subside yet again.

"Nah", I told her. "It was all about Jason". She nodded, her expression sincere. "You wouldn't believe what she told me". I took me a while to explain what she'd said, how Jason had stabbed me. "I knew he wasn't right the minute I saw him", I added when I'd repeating the story to Jas. "I mean you carry a knife on you, what do you think's going to happen?" I ignored her question, still puzzled over this mysterious Jason kid.

"Well that's the thing - are you sure she's telling you everything?"

"Why, do you think she's blagging me?"

"It's just one side of the story".

"Well have you got another?"

"No".

"This is so messed up", I groaned, taking her hand. "It's all mad".

"I know".

"I need to speak to the coppers".

"Just slow down a sec. I thought you didn't remember anything?"

I lay back, looking at the celing.

"Just bits. It doesn't matter though. What matters is he stuck a knife in me".

"Remember Fern hates him - what if she's trying to get back at him?" She sounded desperate now.

"You must really like Jason".

"What?"

"To keep backing him up".

"No, I just-"

"What?"

"Everything's not always as it seems".

Suddenly, looking at her as she said those words, snippets of earlier, of the stabbing, started to come flooding back. Fern holding the knife. Pushing me over. Stabbing me, then running off.

"So it was Fern. But he said I'm not who you think I am".

"What?"

"That's what he said to me. What does he mean by that?"

I could see it clearly now, Jason standing by the tree as he told me.

Then Jasmine, in front of me - just how uncannily simular their voices and faces were.

"It means I know exactly why you wanna protect him, Jas". She looked as if she were about to cry. "Or should I say Jason".

I couldn't go through that again. Watch as she slowly turned into Jason - first telling me she wasn't a girl on multiple occasions, showing me herself dressed in her boy's clothes, then cutting her hair and telling her family, gradually only wearing lad's garments, changing her name, taking blockers, starting treatment, planning to have a sex change. The pain watching that had caused me the first time had been excruciating.

I punched the wall so hard my fist began to bleed, desperatly fighting away the tears that were threatening to fall any second. Leaning back against the door to her classroom, I knew I had to do this. As much as I wanted to just chuck the pills out and pretend I'd never seen them, I couldn't. Something as magior as that could not be put to the back of my mind that easily.

I walked to the small window overlooking her classroom once more and knocked on it. Inside, every-one looked up. I shook the small bottle of pills in Jas's direction. She got her stuff and left the classroom. I heard the teacher shouting after her for leaving as I held her by the wrist and marched her further up the corridor. As much as I would have prefered to hold her hand, I didn't trust myself. I needed to somehow push away my feelings for her and urge to kiss her for the next few minutes.

Maybe Maddie had a point - in my eyes, Jasmine was perfect. I'd thought our love was a good thing, but maybe she was right - maybe I was in far too deep. How had I not noticed she'd been lying about her sincerity about being Jasmine again? How had I not been more suspicous, demanded she explained in depth what had made her change her mind? I loved her so much it had clouded my vision.

Deciding we were far enough away now to not worry about her teacher or any-one from her class following, I held the pills up to her again.

"Bart what the hell do you think you're doing? If you think you can just pull me out of class to do drugs with you - for a start I actually want to do well in my exams later this year, and also do you not remember what happened to Seth when he took steriods? How do you know whatever pills those are aren't dodgy too?"

I was a little taken aback by this. Was she just calling bluff same as always or was she actually just that stupid?

"Oh, are you sure you don't want one?" I asked her. "Jason".

Her expression stayed as angry, but now there was hurt and confusion in her eyes, too.

"What the hell?"

"Oh come on. You might reckon you're a good actress, Jas, but you can't lie your way out of this one! How could you do this to me? After everything we've been through!"

"Right Bart, so are you actually planning on telling me what you're on about any time soon or are we just going to stand here playing the guessing game all day?"

I couldn't take this any more. I thrust the pills at her. Eyebrows lowered, she read the label, looking confused. Great. She was going to play the "I don't know how you got these" card.

"I don't know how you got these, Bart, but they're not mine".

"Oh right on cue!"

"What?"

"Nothing". I paused, trying to compose myself. "So who's are they then, Jas? Go on, tell me - who's pills are these, with testosterone in them, adressed to Mr Jason Costello? Eh? Go ahead and tell me because I'm dying to know".

"I don't know!" She screamed. "But they're not mine, you have to believe me!"

"Maddie saw them fall out of your bag!" I roared, unable to contain my rage any longer.

She didn't respond for a good ten seconds, just stared at me, her expression unreadable, though I could make out her emotions from the tears streaming down her face.

"Maddie", she repeated, quietly, appearing deep in thought. I saw where she was going with this.

"Oh don't you try and turn it around on her now", I warned her. "How would she get your pills eh? How would she do that?"

"I don't know", she admitted. If you were going to lie you could at least think of a decent excuse to back it up. "I used to get mine online, sneakily", she told me after a few moments pause. "You just need to pay, give them your name and address and they'll send them to you".

"So what are you saying Jas?"

"I'm just saying, everything isn't always as it seems".

Oh no. No way. No fucking way in hell was she going there again. I slammed my fist against a nearby locker. My fist had slammed into a lot of things in the past few days, and by now it was really starting to hurt, especially considering it had only just stopped bleeding. The nightmare was happening again. Most nights until Jasmine had returned, I'd had that dream. That day in the hospital. Everything isn't always as it seems. She was not doing this to me again. She couldn't. I put my hand in a fist again and raised it to my mouth, as I always seemed to do when thinking things through seriously. I desperatly wanted to believe what she was telling me, that the pills weren't hers. But how could I when the evidence was staring me in the face?

"Right, so let me get this straight Jasmine - you're telling me that Maddie, yeah, ordered these pills, in your name, and told me they'd fallen out of your bag?"

"Yes". She nodded, looking relieved. Relieved she hadn't been caught.

"Okay, well let's go and see if that's true shall we?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We should be the only ones who know where your new locker is. Let's go check it. And then we can check your bathroom and all - see what delightful little pills we can find".

I was already storming off towards the direction of her locker. She grabbed my arm, pulling me back.

"Bart come on, you're over-reacting".

"No you come on".

Seeing her defeat, she followed me, standing a few yards back as I opened her locker.

"See", she told me. "I told you you wouldn't find anything".

"Oh yeah?" I asked her, my hand on my mouth in a fist again in my shock. "Then what's this?" I pulled out the book, Transgender: Making the transition, for her to see. As if she hadn't seen it many times before. The corner of one of the pages was folded down, I assumed it was the point she'd last been reading from. My heart sank as I opened it and saw the text.

"It is common", I read aloud, "to feel guilt over the stress put on the family during the stages of treatment. Many can attempt to go back to living as their biological gender to please others, only to find it too much of a struggle and continue their transition. This is perfectly normal and you should feel no guilt if this happens to you". I was literally shaking. When I'd finished reading the passage, I closed the book and threw it to the ground. "I can't believe you", I told her. "I can't even look at you".

First lesson was starting to come to an end now so the corridors were no longer empty. We were greeted with many amused looks by every-one who'd witnessed the argument.

"Please Bart you know that isn't true. You know I'm serious about being a girl. I am a girl", she pleaded.

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL RILEY?"

I felt myself about to explode. I'd been asking myself the Riley question for days on end, however it was only now that it caused me such a worry. It was all slotting into place, slowly making sense. She'd never been serious about going back to Jasmine at all. It had all been one huge facade.

She still hadn't respoded to me, just stood in the the corridor, not moving, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"You know what, Jas? Feel free to live a lie for as long as you damn well want. But you're going to have to do it without me".

Maddie's P.O.V

"Just this once", I pleaded.

"No", Tilly laughed. "I am not doing your homework for you so you can spend the night with Callum".

"God Tilly you have to make everything sound filthy. We're just going for something to eat".

"I don't, maybe you just have a filthy mind".

"On behalf of Bart and the stories he told me when you were going out", Jonno added, "I can confirm that".

"Shut up". I shoved him jokingly, laughing. "Oh, speak of the devil". Bart was storming out of college, bumping into loads of practicly every-one as he did so. He didn't even seem to notice.

"God what's up with him?" George queried. "I know his girlfriend doesn't want to be a lad anymore and his ex has been hit by a car but seriously, he's behaving like more of a drama queen that me. That's not on".

"Cut him some slack, George", I smirked. "He's just got the shock of his life. For the second time around?"

"And what do you mean by that?" Jonno asked, looking genuinly concerned for his friend. Shame. Jonno could do better than Bart and his manipulative ways. We all could.

"He's just found out", I announced to the others - which consisted of Tilly, George, Jonno and Callum - rather proudly. "That his girlfriend wants to be a boy. Again".

"Bloody hell, are you serious?" Jonno couldn't help laughing slightly.

"How do you know Mads?" Callum was suspicious as always.

"Because", I informed them all. "I was the one who told them. I found testosterone pills in her bag, the label saying they were for Jason Costello". I smiled. "Tragic really".

"Yeah", Callum agreed sarcasticly. "You look gutted".

"Oi", I laughed. "He put one of my best friends in hospital. I'm allowed to be happy with something not going his way for a change".

"Because things always work out so hard for you".

"Okay, enough with the sarcasm. I thought you were supposed to be my loving caring boyfriend? Stick up for me for a change".

I was only pretending to be annoyed - I actually really liked the whole dynamic of Callum and I's relationship - in many things we were polar opposites, and loved to remind each other of it. In other ways, however, we brang out the best in each other, and were more ourselves around each other than any-one else.

"Oh God", Tilly exclaimed. "She looks terrible".

I followed her gaze until I saw Jasmine, stood in the corridor, eyes red from crying.

"You're not wrong there Tills", George agreed. "She couldn't half do with some foundation".

We all, suprisingly including me, looked at George weirdly.

"Sensitive George, sensitive". Tilly rolled her eyes and walked off towards Jasmine.

I didn't know why but I couldn't help feeling sympathetic towards Jasmine.

"Should we go over too?" Jonno asked. Callum nodded. Reluctantly, I followed them. Just because I felt sorry for her it still didn't mean I wanted to be anywhere near the skank that stole Sinead's boyfriend. Plus I was feeling way more guilty than I'd anticipated and I wasn't sure I trusted myself not to blurt out the truth.

"You". Jasmine pulled away from the hug she'd been in with Tilly to look at me directly. "How could you do this? I know you're mad about Sinead. But this?"

"Hey", Tilly scolded. "There's no need to blame Maddie. If you say the pills aren't yours, then I believe you - but it could have been any-one in the college".

Jonno nodded, but after taking one look at my expression, Callum could see right through me. He shook his head slowly.

"Please tell me you didn't".

"I didn't". I could tell how unbelievable I sounded. "It's not my fault she's a freak. I mean come on guys - the pills, the book -"

"What book?" Jasmine cut me short, walking over to her locker and opening it. "Oh that's right, maybe this one". She removed the book from her locker for every-one to see. "The one that nobody's actually mentioned yet. So how the hell would you know that if it wasn't you?"

I scanned my brain franticly, but I couldn't think of a plausable excuse.

"I'm sorry Jasmine".

For once I wasn't lying. I'd thought of it as just sticking up for Sinead, letting people know not to mess about with my friend's fragile heart. There were many things I'd previously done on occasions like this that, although Tilly had had a go at me for, I still didn't regret. But with this, I could see I'd taken it too far. Way too far. I remembered what Sinead had said in California - Jasmine was the love of Bart's life. She hadn't stolen him away from her, it had been Bart's choice to make. All she'd done was return to the place that was rightfully her home. If I was going to be mad with any-one, it should have been Bart. Now I'd just turned what must have already been a pretty shit day into probably the worst in her life. Well - apart from finding out her Grandad was a murderer who had in fact been the cause of the deaths of both her Gran and Mum. Crap. Jasmine Costello had had one hell of a hard time. And just as she'd been about to get a fresh start I'd screwed it all up for her.

Worst of all, I knew the real reason I'd been so mad at her. Because two years ago, in August of 2010, Bart had fallen in love with some girl he'd met in the village he'd moved to, where his Auntie lived. Only a month after breaking up with me. I'd been completly crazy about him and wanted him back, only no matter how much I offered myself to him, over phone or the internet, he'd always decline, telling me he had a girlfriend, he loved her, and to back the hell off. Two whole years ago. I'd somehow thought that when Sinead got hurt by her and Bart's strong love for each other aswell, Jasmine needed to get what was coming to her. What had, in my mind, been building up for two years. It was only now that I was begining to realise just how pathetic that was.

"Save it Maddie", she told me, walking off. I stayed stood where I was, trying to get my head around the harsh reality of what I'd done to her, as Callum joined her in walking away. I turned to Tilly and Jonno, the only ones remaining. George hadn't bothered to come with us to see Jasmine.

"Look", I tried desperatly to explain. "I never meant to hurt-"

"You knew exactly what you were doing", Jonno snapped, interrupting me. "You always do".

With that, they both walked away, leaving me standing there. I'd never felt so alone in my life.