Chapter 20

"Michael, I can't do this." Fiona lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling.

"Me neither. As crazy as it sounds, I miss his cry." He lay with his hands cradling the back of his head, all the while wishing his hands were holding his child.

"Are we bad parents?" A sob worked its way up into Fi's throat. "Are we doing something wrong that he cries so much?"

She burst into tears, which was so unlike her. He could understand it, though, because they were both on edge after so many sleep deprived nights. There was only so much a body could take. He'd been trained to see the signs. And with the pregnancy hormones still being flushed out of Fi's system, it didn't take much to send her over the edge. He wished he had that kind of excuse.

Michael rolled to his side and took her into his arms. She clung to him and spent her sorrow quickly. Her tears wet his bare chest, but he didn't care. He just wanted everything to be okay, to be normal, to be like things were when Sam and Yvette brought Samuel home. He was a good baby. Why couldn't they have been so lucky? He wondered about what Maddie said, that this was payback. Was I really that bad? And if I was, could my actions have contributed to my dad's behavior? He shook that thought out of his head. Even if true, it was no reason for Frank to take out his anger on his kids. No, there was a lot more to his rage than cranky babies.

"I want him home, Fi. I can't sleep, and I won't get to sleep until Lucas is back home."

"I know." She pulled back and looked up at him in the dim glow coming in from the street lights. "Can we get dressed, go to Sam's and pick him up? Right now?"

Michael glanced over her shoulder. "It's 2 a.m., but if they're having a night like the kind of nights we've been having, they'll probably be glad to get him off their hands." He released her, and they both shot out of bed, racing to get dressed.

He had to keep himself from speeding through the streets to Sam's, and when he parked beside the house, he studied it. "It's dark." Fi nodded and got out. He followed her to the back door and they knocked. "It's quiet. No crying, and the windows are open." He fought to keep the panic out of his voice. "Fi, what did they do to Lucas?"

"I..."

The porch light went on, and the back door opened. Sam stood before them in pajamas, his hair mussed, and he yawned. "Mike! Fi! What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Suddenly, he was wide awake.

"We're fine, Sam," Michael assured him. "However, we decided that we couldn't survive the night without Lucas. We want to take him home."

"Seriously? He's settled in and sleeping like...well, like a baby."

"He's asleep?" Michael and Fiona glanced at each other, shocked. "How'd you do it, Sam?"

"Come on in," he replied and held open the screen. Sam led them upstairs in the dim light from the living room. At the top of the stairs, the hall light was on, and he ushered them into Samuel's room, which was illuminated by a dim night light. In hushed tones, he said, "You're not gonna believe this, but this here is the solution to your problem." He placed his hand on the crib rail.

Michael looked down at Lucas sleeping in the middle of it. He looked so angelic, he could hardly believe it was their son, so he reached out a hand and gently caressed his arm and cheek. "It's him, Fi. Sam, I don't understand."

"It's time to graduate to the crib, Mikey. He doesn't like sleeping in the bassinet. It's too confining. We put him down when I finished setting up the crib, and he went right to sleep. After his nap he was a happy little kid. When he got tired in the afternoon, we put him down in the crib again, and bam!, he was out. No fussiness, no crying, no having to walk him around. Same thing tonight." He paused and smiled. "Eve thinks he wasn't getting proper sleep, so he was overtired, which affected his digestion and made him cranky."

"A crib. You're trying to tell me it's as simple as that?"

"Exactly. So, if you want to take him home, fine. Just take our pack and play along for tonight, and I'll bring the crib over tomorrow. You can use it, and we'll get Samuel a big kid's bed. He's ready for it."

Fiona leaned over the crib as they talked, gently stroking Lucas's hair. "Sam, thank you. I feel like such an idiot that we didn't figure it out ourselves."

"Hey, it was just an accident we did! I'm glad it was so simple."

"Thanks, Sam."

"No problem, brother. Hey, let's go get the car seat put back in the Charger." The two left the room, and Fiona stayed to love her son.

The next day Sam brought the crib to the loft, and after he and Michael set it up, Sam said, "Okay, while I'm here, let's get down to business. You had a job you wanted me to help with?"

"Yeah, about that. I decided not to take that job after all."

"What? I thought you were already into it."

"No." Michael inclined his head, silently asking Sam to meet him out on the balcony.

"What's going on, Mike?"

"Sam, I'm sorry. There was no job. I was just looking for another excuse to get out of the house." He leaned on the rail, hanging his head. "Sam, I was afraid if I had to put up with any more of that, I was..." He couldn't even finish what he wanted to say, but he didn't have to. Sam knew how he would finish the sentence. "I didn't want to turn into my father."

"Well, no worries now, Mikey. Listen to that." He cocked an ear, and there was silence. "Not guaranteeing he won't ever cry again, but as far as the serious wailing, that's over and done with."

"I know. Thanks to you both." He smiled, and relief showed on his face. "I still can't believe how easy it was. Now I can feel good about taking some time off to be with Fi and Lucas." He turned to Sam. "So if you want any work, you and Jack will have to do it yourselves."

"No problem, Mike. I miss working with you and Fi, but Jack's a good guy. We were part of a great team back in the day, and I think we can work something out."

"Good. Otherwise, you could always go back to substitute teaching...Mr. Axe."

Sam laughed. "What is it with everybody lately? They all want me to go back to school. It was fun for awhile, but I don't know." He joined Michael in leaning on the railing. "Maybe I'll have to give it some more thought."

"You do that, Sam." He sighed in contentment, and then heard a sound come from the crib not far from the open doors. "Sounds like somebody wants attention." He straightened, turned, and entered the loft. "Hey look who's awake? How are you, Luke?"

Through the doors, Sam saw Michael pick up Lucas and give him a kiss. Fiona stopped beside him and caressed the baby's head. That was one beautiful picture, and he was sure to remember it for a long time. Michael Westen, he used to be a super spy...now he was a super dad.